Chapter 18
Despite having all the information he could possibly need, Todd found himself adrift in the particular hell of the waiting game.
This was the kind of mission they all hated with a passion.
Sitting in a bare minimum hotel room, staring at screens and phones, never quite knowing what to plan for or when the hammer might fall.
The uncertainty was maddening. Knowing that Sadie was the one on the front lines, playing a role in potential danger while he sat safely miles away, twisted his gut into knots that had nothing to do with the questionable airline food he’d choked down earlier.
She’s out there alone, depending on me to be ready when she needs me.
The weight of that responsibility felt heavier than usual. This wasn’t just about protecting a teammate anymore…. this was about protecting the woman who’d haunted his thoughts and dreams, who’d made him question every careful boundary he’d built around his heart.
The hotel’s modest amenities included a printed list of the limited local restaurants.
Mexican food, pizza, a coffee shop, noodles, and something optimistically called “grill.” Most offered delivery service, probably understanding that guests at the Sonoran Desert Hotel weren’t necessarily looking for a dining experience so much as basic sustenance.
Todd ordered mechanically, choosing the first thing on the list without really caring what arrived. Food was fuel, nothing more, and right now his appetite was strangled by anxiety and anticipation.
The lukewarm pizza delivery arrived, but it tasted like cardboard. He forced himself to eat, knowing his body needed the calories, even if his mind was too preoccupied to appreciate flavors or textures.
By now, Sadie would be at dinner in the spa’s elegant dining room. In his mind, he could see her smile and pretend to be just another wealthy client seeking relaxation and rejuvenation, all while staying hyperaware of every face, every conversation, every detail that might matter to their mission.
God, she’s incredible. The thought hit him with surprising force, a wave of admiration and longing that made his chest tight. How did I ever convince myself I could stay away from her?
He assumed she’d contact him when she returned to her room for the night. Until then, he was trapped in this limbo of waiting.
Todd settled into the small desk chair, positioning himself so he could see both his computer screen and his phone simultaneously. The silence was broken only by the low hum of the air-conditioning unit working overtime against the heat.
The notification chime on his phone cut through the oppressive silence. Todd’s heart lurched against his ribs as he saw her name on the screen, that familiar combination of letters that had the power to derail his thoughts completely.
Good to have you close.
Five words. Five simple words that hit him with the force of a physical blow. His fingers trembled slightly as he read them again, then a third time, dissecting each syllable like it contained the secrets of the universe.
Good to have you close. Not just “good” or “thanks for coming.” She’d said it was good to have him close. The word choice felt deliberate, intimate in a way that made his pulse race and his throat constrict with desperate hope.
Did she mean it professionally? Just grateful for backup in a potentially dangerous situation? Or was there something deeper, something personal threaded through those carefully chosen words?
He scrubbed a hand over his face, grateful for the privacy of his hotel room, where no one could witness him falling apart over a text message like some lovesick teenager.
The other Keepers would never let him hear the end of it if they could see him now, analyzing five words with the intensity of a CIA operative decoding enemy intelligence.
Before he could craft a response, his phone vibrated with another received message.
I’m in for the night. Call when you want.
This time, he didn’t overthink it. His thumb stabbed at her contact information, nearly deleting the text in his haste. The phone rang once, twice—
“Todd?” Her voice poured through the speaker, sending electricity racing along his nerve endings. Even saying his name, she managed to sound both cautious and pleased, like she couldn’t quite believe he’d actually called.
“Yeah, I’m here. How are you?” The words came out rougher than he’d intended, betraying just how deeply her voice affected him.
“Another stupid day, but I’m okay. Mary messaged that Timothy is going to be fine.”
Relief flooded through him at her casual tone. No awkwardness, no sharp edges… just Sadie being Sadie. “Yeah, he’ll be discharged tomorrow, and Cole will fly him back.”
Silence stretched between them. He found himself holding his breath, terrified of saying something that might shatter this fragile reconnection before it could fully form.
But Sadie, as always, was braver than he was. “I’m glad you’re here, Todd. Logan told me that you volunteered.”
The simple statement hit him like a gut punch. She was glad he was here. Not just professionally grateful, but personally pleased. The knowledge sent warmth spreading through his chest.
“More like insisted,” he said, chuckling at the memory of his barely controlled panic when he’d learned she was alone.
“Yeah... that’s what he said.”
Another silence, but this one felt different. Expectant rather than awkward, like she was waiting for him to be brave enough to bridge the gap between them. This time, he didn’t wait for her to fill the void.
“I wanted it to be me down here with you, Sadie.” The confession poured out of him like water through a broken dam. “I hated being trapped in Montana, knowing you were down here, possibly in danger. I was jealous of Timothy, even though I knew he wasn’t physically with you.”
The admission hung between them, raw and honest and terrifying. He’d just confessed to jealousy over her professional partnership with another man—a line he’d never allowed himself to cross before.
“Why?”
This time, he didn’t have to try to analyze her one-word question. He knew what she was asking. Even over the phone, he could hear the uncertainty and the power behind that one word.
A why question always made us look inside. What, how, when, where, who… all of those could often be answered empirically or definitively. But why? That involved reasoning, and when applied to humans, involved emotion.
He closed his eyes, desperately not wanting to fuck things up again.
“If I can never have anything more with you than professional camaraderie and friendship, I’ll take it.
Because crumbs from you are more than a banquet with anyone else.
” His heart hammered against his ribs as silence stretched across the phone line, and for a terrifying moment, he wondered if he’d just destroyed eighteen months of careful rebuilding with his desperate honesty.
“Holy shit, Todd. That line was really good, and I can’t imagine what book you got that from.”
He laughed and imagined her smiling, too. “Believe it or not, Sadie, that didn’t come from a book. I swear those words just came into my brain and out of my mouth.” There was a few seconds of silence, but he continued, his voice dropping and growing rougher with emotion.
“And it’s true. If that’s all we can have, then I’ll live with that.
But I refuse to believe that my stupid fuckup, preconceived ideas of fraternization in the workplace, and how our coworkers might negatively perceive a relationship between us…
I now know that all that shit doesn’t matter. And I just hope it’s not too late.”
His hands were sweating, his pulse thundering so loudly he was surprised she couldn’t hear it through the phone. Everything hung in the balance—his job, his place on the team, and his chance at happiness with the one woman who’d ever made him feel complete.
“Todd, it’s not too late.”
Five more words that rewrote his entire world.
They moved through him like a warm river, filling empty spaces he’d carried for so long he’d forgotten what wholeness felt like.
Relief and joy and desperate hope crashed over him in waves.
“Good.” The word came out breathless, inadequate for the magnitude of what she’d just given him.
She laughed again, softer this time, intimate in a way that made his chest ache with longing. “Yeah, good.” A pause, then her voice shifted back to business. “I suppose now is where we get to work, right?”
The transition was jarring, but he understood the necessity. They were still on a mission, still had a job to do. Personal feelings would have to wait until she was safe.
Sitting up straighter, he forced his mind to snap into professional mode. “Yes. Tell me about your day.”
For the next fifteen minutes, she walked him through every detail about the people she’d met, the treatments she’d undergone, and the subtle wrongness that had her instincts on high alert. He typed frantically, forwarding every piece of information to the team back in Montana for analysis.
“They are already identifying the people who you talked about yesterday. We’re looking at backgrounds and commonalities.”
He heard her hesitation before she spoke, the slight intake of breath that meant she was about to share something important. “What else?” he prompted, his protective instincts flaring to life.
“They have pills that they say are supplements that they want everyone to take morning and night. I have no idea what might be in them, even though they say it’s a combination of necessary vitamins and minerals that have been individually identified as being what we need.”
He stilled. Unauthorized medication was a massive red flag, especially in a facility that already had her instincts screaming warnings.
“Don’t take any fucking pills!” The words exploded from him with barely controlled panic.