Chapter 32 #2
The memory was simultaneously her most precious and most painful. She would always remember the weight of her mother’s frail body in her arms, the gradual stilling of her chest, the moment when the woman who’d been her anchor in the world had simply... stopped.
They sat in silence for a long moment, Todd’s thumb tracing gentle circles across her knuckles while she gathered the emotional strength to continue. When he finally spoke, his voice carried the kind of quiet reverence reserved for sacred things. “You were a good daughter.”
The simple declaration hit her like a physical blow, tears stinging her eyes as grief and guilt and desperate hope for validation crashed over her.
“I hope I was,” she whispered, her voice less steady than she’d intended.
“I never complained to her, not once, even when I wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all. She wanted to be cremated and buried in the family plot in Maryland next to her parents. I sold everything in her villa. All the furniture, clothes, and the little trinkets she’d collected during her Florida years.
I only kept the things that had sentimental value to me.
Two weeks after the celebration of life held at the villa’s community house, I loaded my car and left. ”
“How did you find out about LSIMT?” Todd asked, his question providing a bridge away from the raw emotion and toward safer conversational territory.
“Just like your siblings were already employed by Lighthouse Security, I had a former colleague who’d worked with Carson Dyer in the military before he moved to California to create the West Coast branch of LSI.
He reached out when he heard I was transitioning.
I chatted with Carson over the phone, and he recommended me to Logan. ”
“California’s loss is definitely Logan’s gain,” Todd said, his voice carrying warmth that made her pulse quicken. “My gain, as well.”
She held his gaze and smiled, feeling lighter after finally sharing the story that had shaped so much of who she’d become. The hospital room seemed less oppressive now, the atmosphere softened by the intimacy of confession and acceptance.
“When I interviewed with Logan, he asked me about living in Montana and whether I thought I could handle the isolation and climate. I told him a little about what I’d been through in Florida—the heat, the crowds, the feeling of being constantly surrounded by noise and activity.
And then I told him that when I stepped off the plane in Montana, for the first time in a long time, I could breathe.
The air was clean and fresh, and that’s what I wanted more than anything else…
a chance to have some space and a chance to breathe again. ”
Todd winced visibly, his expression filling with regret that made her chest ache. “And right after you told Logan that, I opened my mouth and completely fucked everything up.”
She squeezed his hand, finding comfort in the solid warmth of his palm against hers. “Granted, it was a hard thing to hear at the time. Your dismissal felt like another abandonment, another man deciding I wasn’t worth fighting for. But I think it might have been better for us in the long run.”
“Why do you say that?” Todd’s chin jerked back, confusion evident in his voice.
“Because we’ve had a year and a half to get to know each other as people, not just as lovers caught up in physical attraction,” she explained, finding clarity in the emotional chaos. “All we knew after that first night was that we had incredible chemistry in the bedroom—”
“You can say that again,” Todd interrupted, his smile wide, obviously remembering the shared passion. “I’ve thought of nothing but those fireworks for the past eighteen months!”
Heat flooded her cheeks at his vehement declaration, but she nodded slowly, her lips curving in acknowledgment.
“Me too.” The admission felt liberating, a weight she hadn’t realized she’d been carrying.
“But now we’ve had the chance to see if we’re compatible on levels that extend far beyond physical attraction.
We’ve taken our time to learn each other’s strengths and weaknesses, to see how we work together under pressure, and to build respect, trust, and genuine affection.
You were right to call a halt to things that morning.
Trying to build a relationship while getting established in new careers could have ruined everything if we hadn’t handled it correctly. ”
Todd’s expression grew increasingly uncertain, vulnerability replacing confusion as he processed her words. “So what are you saying? I feel like I’m hanging by a thread here, and I need to know where we stand.”
The raw honesty in his voice and the way his eyes searched her face for reassurance made her realize she’d been speaking in careful terms as her way to maintain emotional distance.
But Todd had just opened his heart completely, had confessed months of suppressed love and regret and desperate hope. He deserved the same courage from her.
She leaned closer, close enough to see the flecks of darker blue in his eyes, close enough to smell the faint scent of his cologne mixed with the antiseptic hospital air.
“I’m saying that I’m also ready for us to be more than just coworkers and friends, Todd.
I’m saying that I’ve been falling in love with you every single day for eighteen months, and I’m tired of pretending that professional boundaries are more important than what we could build together. ”
The smile that spread across his face was like watching the sun rise over the Montana mountains—slow, brilliant, and absolutely breathtaking.
In that hospital room, surrounded by the reminders of mortality and fragility, Sadie felt something she hadn’t experienced since her mother’s death—the possibility of a future filled with love and partnership and the kind of happiness she’d thought was reserved for other people.
Finally, she thought as Todd’s hand tightened on hers with possession and promise in equal measure. Finally, we’re both brave enough to fight for what we want.