Chapter Seven
LINC
The silence was stifling on the ride home. Darcy sat stiff beside me in the cab and all but scrambled out of my truck when I parked in the driveway.
I shouldn’t have kissed her. But damn if I could have stopped myself.
Seeing her pale and uncertain yet squared off against the thug in the suit sent rage spiraling through my veins.
Trouble shouldn’t have found her so soon.
The knowledge that someone was potentially following her and Gracie short-circuited something inside me.
My heart beat out a rhythm of mine… mine…
mine. If he hadn’t retreated, I might have ripped into him right there in the fucking store.
The moment my family was safe, I staked my claim on Darcy. She pulled me closer, I know she did. Her hands were fisted in my hair as the kiss turned savage, so I know she was into it. We broke apart gasping for air, and it took all my control to open the truck door instead of kiss her again.
I wasn’t supposed to want her. Not after she accepted the nanny position.
I’ve prided myself on strict control over my body and emotions.
The second I tasted Darcy? It was over. All my discipline, all my intentions…
fucking gone. I’m done pretending she’s just the nanny.
Darcy has been more than my employee since the first day I saw her.
I was just too stubborn to admit that I needed her.
I lock the truck and follow Darcy inside the house. Ma arrived before us and is already inside, holding my sleepy little girl.
“I’ll take her up to bed,” she whispers to me. “Darcy is putting groceries away. She might ask you about Brooke.”
Yeah. I guess I’m not surprised Ma mentioned Brooke.
It’s not that anything’s a secret or we don’t talk about her, it’s just painful.
I told Darcy I was a single dad, but nothing more.
At the time, I was still lying to myself about being with her.
Telling her more didn’t seem important. Now that I’ve kissed her, I need to be straight with her about Gracie.
Shit, she might even think I have an ex out there somewhere.
“I’ll talk to Darcy. Sure you don’t need me to carry Gracie up?
” She’s getting bigger every day. My mother won’t be able to hold her much longer.
Ma shoos me away with one hand. “Go on, Lincoln. I’ve got my granddaughter.”
I turn on my heel and enter the kitchen in time to see Darcy stretching up to put a box of sugary cereal on the top shelf.
Gracie must have conned her into buying it.
I step up behind Darcy, crowding her against the shelf in the pantry, and take the cereal box.
“Allow me.” My lips brush the delicate shell of her ear, and her honeyed scent washes over me.
Darcy sucks in an audible breath and turns in my arms.
With deliberate slowness, I put the cereal box on the shelf, keeping our bodies flush. Her heartbeat thrums beneath the skin at the base of her throat, begging me to place soft kisses there. “You scared of me, sweetheart?”
“No.”
“You ran from me.”
She shakes her head, shiny red waves dancing in the dim light of the pantry. “I ran from this.” She waves her hand between us. “Not you. Never you.”
Her honesty is another thing I admire about her.
Not only is every curvy inch of her gorgeous, but she’s also strong, thoughtful, and smart.
I never want her to fear me, especially in this.
“That’s good, because I like how you feel in my arms.” I lower my head slowly, giving her the chance to pull away.
She might be afraid of these feelings, but my brave girl meets the challenge.
She rises on her toes and meets me halfway.
Her lips are so sweet, I want more. I stroke my tongue into her mouth, exploring, tasting honey, and reveling in the kiss.
It’s slow and decadent instead of our first hard, fast kiss.
Jesus, I love both. I’m eager to kiss her all the different ways a man can.
Taste her skin, suck her nipples, and lap at her pussy. I’m rock hard in seconds.
Sliding my hands down her sides, I grasp her ass and rock against her, letting her feel what she does to me.
“Lincoln,” she whispers against my lips.
I think it’s the first time she’s said my full name, and it sounds like magic coming from her sultry voice. I want her to scream it, but not here. After one last kiss to her lips, I put a little space between us. “You’re beautiful.”
A flush spreads across the bridge of her nose to her cheeks, highlighting those pretty freckles. “I think every woman in a ten-mile radius wants you.”
I huff a laugh. “The only one I’m interested in is right here.”
Darcy grins. “In your pantry.”
I can’t get enough of her smile. “As long as you’re here, who the fuck cares.”
She smooths a hand down my chest, watching the movement as she traces my pecs and abs. Her touch is driving me wild. I want her soft hands on my skin, not my clothes.
“Your mom told me about Gracie,” she says.
I’m not ready for the change of subject. I want to take her upstairs to my bed and find more places to kiss her. But she deserves to know me better, and this is an important truth. “She’s not my daughter by blood.”
“What happened to your sister?”
This is too intimate a conversation to have in my pantry.
Reaching down, I sweep her into my arms and carry her into the living room.
She squeaks in surprise, then winds her arms around my shoulders and buries her face in the side of my neck.
Sitting on the couch, I settle her on my lap and wrap one arm around her waist to keep her close.
It’s never easy talking about Brooke. My throat feels tight, and I swallow past a sudden lump.
“Ovarian cancer. She was diagnosed right before I cycled out of the service. Gracie was almost two when Brooke found out. She had surgery and even chemo, but the cancer spread too fast. By the time I’d settled here, she was seriously ill.
Ma did everything she could to take care of Grace during that time and I helped where I could, but we were setting up Citadel and Arcane at the time.
It was tough. Six months after I moved back to New Orleans, she was gone. ”
Darcy puts her arms around me and holds me close, resting her head on my chest. “I’m so sorry.”
“She was four years younger than me. We fought as kids, but as adults, we were as close as we could be when I wasn’t deployed.”
“What about Grace’s dad?”
I never liked the asshole. He was never good enough for my sister and proved it the second he could.
“Fucker ditched Brooke right after she discovered she was pregnant. He’s not even on the birth certificate.
When my sister realized she wasn’t going to recover…
” The knot in my throat is twice the size and it hurts to swallow.
My voice rasps. “She knew Ma couldn’t take care of a toddler, so she asked me.
I spent years in Special Forces, doing things I still can’t talk about.
I came back a lot more broken than I left.
Having a family of my own wasn’t even a thought yet.
But that day in the hospital, she held my hand and begged me to be Gracie’s dad. The one she should have had all along.”
Darcy swipes her thumb over my cheek, and I feel the spread of moisture.
I hadn’t realized a tear slipped free. Shit.
I clear my throat. “She didn’t have to beg.
I’d do anything for my family. I wasn’t going to let Gracie go through the loss of her mom all alone.
She needed a dad, so I stepped up. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing, but with Ma’s help, I figured it out.
My sister helped me start the adoption papers right before she passed.
Made it easier to get it through the courts, I think. It’s been the three of us ever since.”
“She’s lucky to have you both.”
“And you.” I pull her closer until I feel the thump of her heart against mine. “I meant what I said earlier, Darcy. You’re part of our family now.”
She grips fistfuls of my shirt at my waist, holding me to her. I’m not sure she even realizes she’s doing it, because she says, “That’s just it. I’m not. I never am.”
The quiver in her voice hints at deep vulnerability. “You’re never part of a family?” I ask when she doesn’t say anything more.
“No.”
“What about your own?”
“My dad split when I was eleven. I remember he and mom arguing a lot. Then one day, he was gone and never came back. We had a small house back then. I even had a treehouse in back that he built when I was seven.” Her voice is wistful and hushed. I tuck her closer and let her continue.
“Months later, we had to move. Looking back, I think mom couldn’t keep up with the bills and the bank took the house.
All she told me was that she couldn’t stand to live there with the memories of a man who would run out on her.
We moved into a small apartment after that.
By the time I was twelve, she was working two jobs.
She’d wake me up for school, and I wouldn’t see her until late that night.
By then she was too tired to listen to a girl on the edge of puberty whine about school and friends.
She’d take some pain killers and crawl into bed, not even asking if I had dinner.
I ate a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches until I found my grandma’s old cookbook.
” She laughs. “I didn’t burn down the apartment, but it might have been close on more than one occasion.
Mom helped some when she had days off. Once I was cooking for both of us though, she left me alone. ”
The aching vulnerability in her voice is slaying me. I hold her closer, letting her talk. Listening to the things she’s not saying, like how lonely she was. How much she needed her mother there.
“She wasn’t a bad mom. She did the best she could to keep the apartment and have money for groceries.”
When she falls silent, I ask, “Where is she now?”
Darcy hums. “With her new family. She met a lawyer who already had a couple kids. They married a few months after. She didn’t have to work anymore, didn’t have to live in a run-down apartment, and didn’t have to look after me.
I was about to turn eighteen then. All I wanted was to get away.
I’d done some babysitting for neighbors and knew I loved kids.
They’re so innocent of hardship, you know?
Life is about their imaginations. Getting paid to be a nanny in another country while still being able to go to college? It seemed perfect.”
“Was it?”
“Almost. It was nice to be needed, even if it was only for a little while. My contracts were less than a year. About the time I was comfortable, it was time to move on. After a few years, I thought about returning home. But the couple I worked for recommended me to their friends. Instead of going through the program for short periods, maybe I could stay longer.” She frowns.
“That’s how I ended up here, in New Orleans.
The family took a vacation to the U.S. I’d only been working for them a few months and it was challenging.
The little boy ran wild, and his parents ignored him.
But the woman’s husband, he didn’t ignore me. ”
I feel a muscle tic in my jaw. “He came on to you?”
“At first, he was just overly friendly. It made me uncomfortable, but I thought I could keep my distance. We’d just arrived in New Orleans when he came into our hotel suite, reeking of booze.
He tried to kiss me. I pushed him away, only to find his wife standing in the doorway.
She knew I wasn’t reciprocating his attention, but said I was a distraction.
They gave me severance money and told me to go. ”
Anger flashes in my veins, so hot I want to explode. “They left you in a fucking city you didn’t know?”
“I had enough for a plane ticket home… but mom was happy. I never felt part of the new family, more like a leftover she didn’t know what to do with.
What was there to go back to?” She shrugs, not meeting my eyes.
“I figured here was as good as anywhere to figure things out. That’s when Derek hired me at Arcane Brew. ”
I want to rage at all these people who didn’t understand how special Darcy is. Who the fuck dumps someone off in a strange city? Or expects a child to raise themselves to adulthood? The fuck is wrong with people?
Her hair is soft against my fingers as I tuck it behind her ear.
Skimming the silken skin of her cheek, I use my thumb to nudge her chin up until she’s looking at me.
“I’m glad you stayed. We need you.” My heart squeezes tight in my chest, making it hard to draw a breath.
I’ve never said something like this to a woman.
“I need you, Darcy. Not as my nanny or my employee. I need you for so much more.”
She curls her fingers in my shirt as if she’s unwilling to let me go. “You mean that?”
Somehow, she snuck under my skin and made herself at home in my heart.
There are a lot of good reasons why I shouldn’t fall for her, but one thing I learned in my time in Delta—life’s too goddamn short.
I’ve tried to keep my distance because Grace needed a nanny.
I forgot that what she needed more was someone to be her mom.
Maybe I can convince Darcy to be all of that and more to both of us.
“Yeah, sweetheart. Every damn word. Gracie needs you as well.”
Her eyes get shiny with moisture. She blinks and swallows. “I’m glad I stayed too.”
Silence falls between us, but it’s not uncomfortable. I hold her in my arms, taking as much comfort from her as I hope she is from me.