Chapter 23
TWENTY-THREE
I spend Monday back in town exploring the Royal Mile—which I had only briefly seen the other day—and doing everything I can not to think about Jarvis again. I need to move on and look for a partner who is open and transparent. Someone who doesn’t only give me half of themselves.
I call the airline to see if I can change my seat, but they tell me it’s too late, and the person who organised the booking has already checked in online and confirmed both our seats.
Of course he has.
I’m definitely going to need my eye mask and noise-cancelling headphones today.
But I don’t think I’ll use the compound since it’s only the four-hour dose.
I had intended to throw the rest of it away when I got off the plane in Doha, but I forgot, and it seemed to pass through customs without trouble.
I wonder since I woke up early after only drinking half on the way here whether it means I’d stay longer if I took double the amount.
I kind of want to try it, but I also don’t want any unintended consequences.
What if I inadvertently take enough to make me sleep for days?
Or I actually overdose and die? I’ve been pretty trusting to take it in the first place, purely on the recommendation of my cousin.
It’s probably best not to mess around it with it too much.
On Tuesday, I send Jarvis a message saying I’ll meet him at the airport. Our flight leaves just after 2pm, and I brace myself for another ridiculous amount of air travel. I’ve barely recovered from the other flights.
I sit next to Jarvis and nod an acknowledgement. He nods back and doesn’t say anything.
Maybe this will be okay. We can pretend to be strangers and go our separate ways when we land.
Just before take-off, Jarvis’s phone beeps. He looks down at the message, and his face turns dark.
I try to see who the message is from or what it says, but I’m not at the right angle.
“Fuck,” he says under his breath.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Nothing.” He shoves his phone into the pocket of the seat in front of him and stares straight ahead, his face blank.
He really doesn’t look all right, and it reminds me of the times he got moody and abandoned me while we were married.
Was there a specific person who did this to him?
What on earth did they say?
I can’t let it go, and after we take off, Jarvis gets up to use the bathroom.
As soon as he’s out of sight, I pull his phone from the seat pocket and enter his security pattern.
I’m lucky he hasn’t changed it since we were married, and if it turned out he was hiding something, I’m actually surprised he was fine with me knowing it in the first place.
But even though I occasionally wondered if I’d find evidence of something affecting him on his phone, I never wanted to be that person who spied on their husband.
Maybe I should have been.
I open his texts and look at the top message. It’s from a guy called Cam.
It’ll be the anniversary of your fucked up decision this Friday. I think that calls for something extra special, don’t you? Contact me as soon as you get this. We need to meet.
What the hell is this? Who’s Cam? And what decision is he talking about?
There aren’t any previous messages in the thread, so I quickly put the phone back and try to recall any time I’ve heard Jarvis mention someone called Cam.
Nope.
And when he said the anniversary calls for something special, does that mean Jarvis is being blackmailed? And if Cam said extra special, what was the regular special?
Jarvis returns to his seat but ignores me. Part of me wants to ask right then and there, but I can’t imagine the guy will admit to anything while we’re stuck together on a plane for two lengthy flights.
I sigh and put on my eye mask and headphones.
It’s going to be a long day, and I need to think about what I’m going to do—if anything—when we land.
***
The stopover in Doha and fourteen-hour flight after that to Brisbane are almost unbearable.
I’ve never been the kind of person to keep their mouth shut, even for short periods of time, but Jarvis seems to have the same idea as me and keeps to himself.
The energy emanating off him seems to get blacker and blacker the closer we get to home, and I wonder how he’s going to deal with his mystery messenger.
With the time difference against us, we don’t touch down until almost 11pm on Wednesday, and we don’t get out of the airport until well after midnight.
We’d both driven from the Sunshine Coast, which in hindsight wasn’t very environmentally friendly, and I follow Jarvis to the parking lot. It turns out he’s parked in a different section, so he momentarily pauses. “Are you okay to drive? Not too tired?”
“I’ll be fine. You?”
“Yeah, I’m fine too. Take it easy.”
And then he’s gone.
Well. That was very unsatisfying. Maybe I should have grilled him just now, but I’m still not sure it’s the right time.
I return to my car and get in, doing a quick mental scan to make sure I am, in fact, awake enough to drive.
I did get a few hours’ disjointed sleep, so I’m not completely exhausted.
I brace myself for the one-and-a-half-hour drive back to Shell Beach and pull out onto the highway.
There aren’t many cars on the road, so I find myself following Jarvis. He still has the car he owned when we were together—a dark grey RAV4 his parents bought for him just after we got married.
Halfway home, I see him indicate to turn off the highway. There’s no service station close by, and I wonder if something is wrong.
I indicate to turn off too, and I see him pull into an empty lot next to a construction site.
What is he doing?
There’s limited street lighting, but I can just make out another car nearby. Its lights are off.
I suddenly feel like I’m in a suspense movie, and I slow down, keeping my distance.
Jarvis climbs out of his car and approaches the other one. I pull in behind a shipping container on the opposite side of the road and turn off both my car and lights. I quietly get out and creep closer to Jarvis, still hiding behind the shipping container.
I peer around the side and see him now talking to someone else. Cam?
“You took your fucking time,” the guy says.
“I just got off an international flight. You are literally the first person I’ve communicated with since leaving the airport.”
“Good. That’s the way it should be. Now what are you going to offer as an anniversary gift? I was thinking double the usual. Actually, if you can afford an international trip, make that triple.”
“I don’t have the available funds to pay triple. The trip wasn’t paid for by me. It was a family thing.”
“Then ask your fucking family for the money.”
“Look, I can’t do anything right now, but if you wait a couple of months—”
“Nope. By then, you’ll be due for another payment. I want triple the usual by next week, or I’ll tell everyone what happened.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
Jarvis sounds so resigned and sad that my heart aches. What on earth did he get involved with for this to happen?
“There’s no seeing, only doing.”
The guy gets back in his car and speeds off.
Jeez.
Jarvis leans on the side of his car and buries his face in his hands.
Before I can second guess myself, I stride over. “What was that?”
He looks up, surprised and guilty. “What are you doing here?”
“I saw you pull off the highway, and I was worried.”
“I just needed some air.”
“Don’t lie to me. I saw you talking to that guy. Was it Cam?”
His eyes widen. “How do you know Cam?”
“I saw the message you got before we took off in Edinburgh.”
“You’ve been spying on me?”
“I figured our relationship was already screwed, so what’s a little invasion of privacy as well?”
He chuckles bitterly. “I can’t believe you read my texts.”
“I should have done it years ago. And then maybe I could have helped you out of this mess. Why is Cam blackmailing you?”
Jarvis looks like he’s about to argue with me, but then all the fight goes out of him. “He’s not exactly blackmailing me. I would pay him anyway. And I don’t mind him treating me that way if it makes him feel a bit better.”
“You’re going to need to start at the beginning. Tell me everything.”
He looks around, seemingly just realising where we are. “Should we go somewhere a little less serial-killer-like?”
“As long as you promise not to run away. I’ll meet you at the twenty-four-hour truck stop just up the highway.”
“Okay. I’ll see you there.”
I return to my car and head back to the main road.
In a few minutes, I might finally understand what’s been happening for all these years.
Am I ready for it?