Chapter 29
Hudson jolted awake. Sweat covered his body despite the cool air in the spacious hotel room. He’d hoped curling up next to Tessa would quell his nightmares.
No such luck.
“Hudson?” She sat up and shifted on her knees in front of him. “I heard you shouting in your sleep. Are you okay?”
Denial teetered on the tip of his tongue, but he nodded. She’d shared her demons with him. Time to man up and share his own. Sighing, he leaned against the headboard and scrubbed a hand over his face. “What was I saying?”
“I couldn’t understand much because I was half-asleep, but I heard you yell, ‘Chris.’”
Shivering, despite Tessa perched in front of him, her hands on his thighs like tethers to a promise, he told her about the burning shack.
“We’re taught not to dwell on what-ifs. We address what went wrong, learn from it, and move on.
I’m good at that, but this time I can’t stop thinking, what if I killed Chris by saving his life?
” Hudson’s heart raced as his words spilled out. “What if I’m as broken as he is?”
“How could you not be broken after an experience like that?” A thick tear rolled down her cheek. “Have you talked to Chris since you saw him at the hospital?”
“No. He was moved to an undisclosed location. I asked the General to find out where he is. He just said, ‘He’s better than okay. He’s being reborn.’”
Tessa flipped her hand under his and threaded their fingers together. “What does that mean?”
He held her fingers tight, another thread to ground him in her quiet support. “I have no fucking idea.”
“Maybe knowing isn’t what you need. Maybe you need to find your own way to be reborn.”
“How? Every time I go to sleep I relive the rescue and every minute I’m awake I question if I should have let Chris bleed out. I can’t be reborn if I’m stuck in the past.”
“You told me a few days ago that you weren’t sure if you wanted the opportunity with Project V, but I can see the excitement in your face. Maybe it’s your chance to be reborn too.” She leaned forward and stroked her finger down his cheek. “What’s holding you back?”
“At first, I was afraid of getting injured as badly as Chris or getting killed and not coming home to Pop, but then you happened.” He swallowed his fear and voiced it at the same time. “And now I’m afraid of not coming home to…”
She brushed her lips over his. “To me?”
He didn’t answer. He just claimed her mouth in an urgent, hungry kiss, like he’d just returned from the most dangerous mission of his life and knowing she’d be home waiting for him was the only thing that kept him sane.
The only thing that could reset his soul.
He couldn’t wait any longer to claim her as his salvation.
As his own.
Pulling away, he leaned back. “As much as I love the way those silky, little pajamas look, they need to come off. Now.”
She smiled and bit her lower lip as she shimmied out of her clothes.
His cock shot to attention. “About goddamn time I got to see you naked.” Wrapping his hands around her waist, he shifted her to the headboard. With both hands, he spread her thighs and settled himself between them.
Licking his lips, he zeroed in on the glistening proof of how much she wanted him. “I wish you would have known you were this wet. I would have put the world on hold and done something about it.”
Dark brown flecks danced in her amber eyes.
His fatigue vanished as he circled a breast with the tip of his finger. Her shudder shot a rush of endorphins to his hard cock. “You’re so beautiful.”
He trailed his finger down her ribcage to her flat belly, slow and steady, like he had the rest of his life to explore every inch of her willing body. He paused just below her belly button. “Did you enjoy watching me jerk off while I thought about you this morning in the shower?”
She groaned a yes as she fisted his cock.
“I knew you were there. I saw you in the mirror. Saw you consider running.” He slid his finger to the top of her folds. “I’m so glad you stayed because seeing you on your knees, begging for my cock without words was the hottest moment of my life.”
She whimpered as she drove her hips against his hand. “Hudson.”
“I know what you want, little thief. If I move one more inch, I could make you scream in less than a minute, but first I need you to do something for me.” Taking her wrist, he guided her hand to where his fingers had been moments ago. “I need you to touch yourself.”
She drew her arm back. He caught it in an iron grip that wouldn’t hurt her, but said the request wasn’t negotiable. “Do it. I need to watch you make yourself even wetter for me.”
“I…I’ve never…”
“Never what, Tessa?” He brushed his lips over her cheek that was the prettiest pink he’d ever seen. “Never touched yourself in front of someone?”
“I haven’t been with many men, so…no.”
“Did you trust them like you trust me?”
“No.”
He smiled as her arm relaxed under his fingers. “And do you trust me completely?”
“Yes.”
“Knowing that I’m your first on both counts makes it even hotter.” He wanted to be the man who replaced her worst memories with beautiful ones. To prove he wouldn’t let her down because, fuck, she wasn’t about to let him down as she moved her hand to her center.
Sitting on his heels, he groaned as she slid her fingers down her belly and grazed her swollen pussy. “Yeah, that’s it, Tessa. That’s what I’ve been thinking about all day. Show me more, and eyes on me while you do it.”
Her cheeks darkened to an indecent shade of pink as she pushed a finger inside.
“God, Tessa. You’re perfect. Show me what you do when you think about me.”
She answered with a little nod and a sexy-as-sin groan as she pressed two fingers against her clit and moved them in tight circles.
Her breathing sped up along with the hot-blooded need throbbing in his cock.
“Christ, baby. I thought watching you suck me was the hottest thing I’d ever seen, but you all wet, touching yourself, is what I’ll be thinking about the next time I’m in the shower. ”
A wicked grin lit her face as he pumped his length with a slow, firm stroke.
“Send me…” She groaned. “Send me your bathing schedule so I can surprise you again.”
“Do you see a lot of dirty nights in our future, Tessa?”
“I…” She rubbed herself in tiny, fast circles. “I’m so close.”
“Oh no, little thief. You’re not stealing this experience from me.” He covered her hand with his. “You don’t come until I say so.” He guided her fingers down. “I want to see these disappear inside you.”
“Hudson…I—”
“Let me help you.” Gently, he crooked her pointer finger and pushed it between her folds.
She lifted her hips to meet him halfway.
With a soft gasp and wide eyes, she silently begged him for more.
Angling his own finger, he pushed it next to hers and cocooned them in her wet heat that rivaled the heaven he’d experienced between her lips this morning.
“Oh God.” Her hips bucked off the bed.
He sank their fingers deeper. She’d said she’d only been with a few men, and she was tight as fuck.
He couldn’t think of a better way to prepare her to take every inch of his cock that throbbed with jealous need.
Crossing his slick finger over hers like a wish, he braced his free hand on the headboard and memorized the shape of her lips.
The intoxicating smell of sweet roses and steamy sex.
The chorus of moans and gasps as her muscles tightened around his fingers.
Reaching between their bodies, she gripped his cock with her free hand. “This. Please.”
The raw need in her desperate plea lit dynamite under his constraint and blew it to hell. Pulling their fingers free, he brought them to his lips. Her pupils dilated as he sucked them into his mouth. “You taste as good as you feel.”
Her eyes rolled back in her head as she slid her free hand between them.
“No more touching yourself.” Gathering both of her wrists, he pinned her arms above her head. “I need to be inside you when you come.” He lined his cock up with her center and pressed the tip against her clit. “I haven’t been with anybody in over six months and I’m clean.”
She arched beneath him. “Three years and I’m clean too. And I’m on the pill.”
“You’re good if I fuck you bare?”
He didn’t need to ask again because a snap of her hips broke his well-intentioned hesitancy to shreds. Nothing short of a nuclear detonation could have stopped him from sliding into Tessa and filling her almost completely in one primal stroke.
She cried out, a ragged, guttural sound clamping her tighter around his cock. He fought to regain control of himself. “Are you okay?”
“Yes. Don’t hold back. You didn’t this morning when you made my eyes tear.” She tested his hold on her wrists and moaned when she couldn’t escape. “Don’t take it easy on me now. You…” She pressed her lips into a thin line and moaned. “You know I can take it.” He held her tighter.
“I know you can.” He dropped his mouth and nipped at her neck. “You’re the toughest woman I’ve ever met, but I need to hear you want it.”
“I want it. Please.”
“Tell me you want me.”
“You, Hudson. I haven’t thought about anyone else since I saw your photo on the fridge.”
Releasing her, he slid his hands under her legs and lifted her ass off the bed. His ribs protested the effort, but he welcomed the pain that let him get deep inside the woman who wanted only him. “Hold onto my hips.”
As she held on tight, he thrust into her without mercy because she could take it.
Because he’d die if he didn’t give her what they both wanted.
He pounded into her, alternating dirty words about how good she took his cock, and how gorgeous, and strong, and brave she was.
How he couldn’t wait to get her home and fuck her on the beach and in every room of the mansion. He punctuated each promise with a thrust harder than the last. Tears gathered in her eyes again. Incoherent words, sprinkled with waves of moans and groans, rolled from her lips as her orgasm built.
As she gripped his ass with both hands and screamed about how she didn’t know it was possible to come that hard, he came too, harder than he ever had in his life.
Hours later, he watched the sunrise over D.C. with Tessa in his arms and cursed Pop for leaving him with no idea what the fuck to do now that he’d fallen in love with her.