7. Ted
TED
I never wanted this moment to end. It was like floating on a cloud with an unlimited supply of the best candy just draining down my throat.
But it wasn’t unlimited…and it did run out.
By the time both sides were dry, something deep inside me had cracked open, and I didn’t know how to close it back up.
I pulled back from his chest and a flood of tears came out of nowhere. My whole body shook with confused emotions as I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes.
“Hey.” Kacen hugged me to him and rubbed my back over my shirt. “What’s wrong? Did I scare you?”
“No.” I choked out the word between stuttered breaths.
“I… I… I just.” I didn’t know how to finish that sentence.
I needed something but didn’t know what.
Maybe an ambulance? A brain surgeon? Something was definitely wrong as my skin felt too tight and I couldn’t relax any part of my body.
I wanted more but not just of the milk. I wanted more of Kacen.
“Please don’t stop.” I sobbed and dug my fingers into his shoulders, afraid to let go.
“I don’t know why I’m crying, but I just don’t wanna stop. ”
“Shh, I’ve got you.” He didn’t ask for an explanation. Kacen just held me tighter and gently rocked me in his arms. “And I’m not letting go.”
I leaned fully into him with my forehead tucked against his neck, breathing in the salty smell of his skin while my whole body did things I didn’t understand. When he slipped his palm under the hem of my shirt and rubbed up the small of my back, my whole body convulsed. “God…”
“Do you like that?” He lifted his hand so just his fingertips trailed up and down my spine. “Or this?”
I honestly wasn’t sure, so I took a beat to evaluate how I felt.
After a few seconds, I realized my dick was hard and my hips were rocking into the touch in an attempt to find friction.
“Yeah.” Admitting that was one of the scariest things I’d lived through, and that was saying a lot.
But it was true, and I wasn’t gonna lie to him. “Yeah, I do.”
“Why do you sound so confused and conflicted?” His other hand palmed my ass and gently kneaded it.
I was delirious as I barked out a quiet laugh. “Because I am.” I pulled back just enough to look at him and felt the unmistakable length of his erection against my side. “I don’t think anyone has touched me like that since Alex hugged me goodbye. And that was almost ten years ago.”
Kacen went still under me and cocked his head like he wasn’t sure he’d heard me right. “Ten years?”
“I don’t let people get close to me. Literally or figuratively.” I looked down at where his hand was on my hip and couldn’t hold back a grin. When was the last time I fucking grinned? “Occasionally, I’m forced to shake someone’s hand but nothing intentional like this.”
“Jesus, Ted.” He splayed his whole hand across my back like he wanted to touch as much of me as possible in a single motion. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine.” I responded on autopilot with the same lie I’d been telling myself for years, but then stopped.
For once, I was ready to be honest. “Actually, no, it’s not.
It’s weird and pathetic and…” Tears filled my eyes again, and I felt self-conscious across Kacen’s lap, so I tried to pull away, but he didn’t let me.
He just squeezed me tighter and dragged his fingers in a slow line up my spine.
“It’s not weird or pathetic.” Kacen somehow lifted me up enough that he was able to shift his body until he was lying beneath me on the couch.
“It’s normal and…human. People need touch.
” His hand on my ass pressed down so my hard dick was aligned with his. “I need touch.”
I should have been scared by what that meant, but I wasn’t. My whole body responded to his words by rutting against him. I sucked in a ragged breath and ground my hips over his, chasing a sensation I hadn’t felt in…forever. “Oh god.”
“You okay, babe?” Kacen’s voice was rough and low against my ear as he rocked with me. “What do you need?”
“I don’t know.” This time, I wasn’t lying. I genuinely didn’t know what was happening to me. All I knew was I didn’t want him to stop any of it. Not the slow drag of his fingers up my spine or the firm kneading of my ass cheeks. “Just…don’t stop.”
He seemed to know what I needed better than I did, so he kept moving, patiently touching as much of me as he could reach while keeping his cock lined up with mine as we rocked against each other.
I was trembling but not in a bad way. Something good was coming, something intense.
The combination of my jeans and Kacen’s dick rubbing against my cock was too much, and a terrifying jolt of energy shot through me. “Kacen.”
“I’m here.” His hands didn’t stop moving as our hips moved faster and faster. “Whatever’s happening, just let it. I’ve got you.”
I buried my face against his neck and gave up any semblance of decorum as I jerked and cried and desperately grinded against him.
Some primal instinct took over, growing with need as the pressure built up.
Everything happened faster than I could brace for as a tightness coiled low in my belly and then… snapped.
My whole body seized up against him as I came completely undone. Without so much as a finger in my pants, I shot my load into my jeans like a damn teenager and cried into Kacen’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I froze, completely mortified after what I’d done.
“Hey now.” Kacen’s arms tightened around me, and he shifted me to the side so I couldn’t get away. “Don’t be sorry, Ted. I’m not.”
It took a second for me to catch his meaning. “You’re not sorry?”
Kacen ran his thumbs under my eyes to dry them and then smirked. “Nope, not at all. That was fucking hot.”
“It was?” I mean, I thought so, but I couldn’t believe he thought so too.
“But…I didn’t mean to do that.” My voice cracked, and I hiccuped as humiliation crept back into the forefront of my mind. “I haven’t— I mean, I don’t—” I shook my head to try to knock some sense back into it. “I haven’t done that since high school.”
“Come in your pants?” He cupped my cheek and gently caressed it. “I did too. You’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about.”
My jaw dropped as I glanced down to his crotch. Sure enough, there was a dark spot on the front of his gray sweats. “You did that because of me?”
“That was all you, babe.” He carded his fingers through my hair and smiled.
Wow. That was something I needed to spend a lot of time unpacking. But for now, I wanted to be honest with Kacen. “Wow…but that’s not what I mean. I haven’t come at all since high school.”
Now Kacen looked shocked and sat up on an elbow, hovering over me. “No way.”
“Yes way.” I shrugged and averted my gaze, afraid to see disgust or mockery in his. “I’ve never been interested.”
“Whoa.” Kacen hooked his finger under my jaw and forced me to look at him. “We’re allowed to feel good, babe. Your body needed a release…and you got one.” He smirked and grabbed my ass again. “And I don’t know about yours but mine was fucking amazing.”
I wanted to argue with him, but I couldn’t. “Mine too.”
“Okay, then.” He relaxed beside me and held me close. “Maybe we should take a little power nap.”
“And you…” I was quieter than before, but I knew he could hear me. “You’ll keep touching me?”
“For as long as you’ll let me.”