Chapter 15
“‘I ’m sorry’ doesn’t seem like enough,” Tim says once the door is closed and we’re alone.
“That’s because it’s not.”
“I should’ve been honest with you.” He takes a step toward me. “Not just about Siena. About everything.”
“Everything? You mean there’s more?”
He nods. “Unfortunately.”
The room spins. It’s circling around at a dizzying speed. Before my knees give in and I drop to the floor, Tim’s strong arms brace around me.
My pulse races, and my heart sprints, jumping hurdles along the way. Why does everything about him feel so right?
“Bailey, you’re not–?”
I shake my head.
“It’s okay. I got you,” Tim coos, moving us to the couch. “And this time I won’t let go. I promise.”
“You can’t have both of us.”
He nods. “I only want you. I never wanted her.”
“You were engaged.”
He cradles my face between his hands and holds me so that my chin is tilted up and I’m forced to look at him. His fingers brush over my cheeks; his warm caramel eyes, they pierce my heart.
“It was all about the merger. It was a business deal my father made with her father. We never even dated. I never proposed. I was told to marry her or I’d be disowned. I had to decide what meant more to me, love or money.”
“And?”
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Are you saying you love me?”
“Do you know what it’s like to be with someone and know that you should feel something more? Something that makes you want to be with them, but it’s just not there?”
I can’t believe what he’s saying. I know that exact feeling.
“I’d look in her eyes, and yes, she’s attractive, but that’s it. All I’d see was a pretty face. A pretty face consumed with attention and concerned about looking and acting the part of the socialite. That’s as far as my feelings for her went.”
“Attractive? She’s more than just a pretty face. She’s gorgeous.”
“Maybe to you.” There’s the playful glint in his eye. The one I always noticed while we were together. The one that was missing in all the pictures of him and Siena.
“I know we didn’t have a lot of time together. But every minute that we shared, I felt it . In here.” He takes my hand and places it over his pounding heart. “And tell me if I’m wrong,” he looks pained at the thought, “but I believe you felt it here, too.” He places his hand over my erratically beating heart.
I nod. We’re connected again. Physically. Emotionally. Completely.
“The day of the wedding, she called me all day, threatening to come because of the shit Ian posted on social media about you and me. He made sure to post it everywhere and tag her. I wasn’t going to lie. I told her it was true and that we’d settle it when I got home. She ignored me and came anyway. With a whole fucking press corp.”
“She brought the reporters to pressure and manipulate you?”
He nods. “I told her it was over. I was trying to convince her to leave without causing a scene when I heard you scream.” He kisses the top of my head. “It was the worst sound I ever heard. It haunts my sleep. The sound sliced through me. I couldn’t breathe because that scream meant someone was hurting you.”
“I didn’t think anyone could hear me.”
For a moment, his lips brush like a feather over mine. The sensuous touch catches me off guard. I lose my breath and shiver. I want more, but I don’t move. I’m afraid to.
“I had to stop whoever was hurting you. I had to protect you. That’s the moment I realized I wasn’t making a choice, I was following my heart.”
My eyes well with tears. “But you didn’t follow your heart. I was so scared. Everything happened so fast. I was relieved when you pulled Ian off. But then she was there with the reporters. And you didn’t even look my way. It was like I didn’t exist. Like I meant nothing to you.” My voice cracks at the end.
He releases a long breath. “I didn’t handle it well. I didn’t know what to do. For the first time in a long time, I was happy. I saw the look on your face when Siena confronted me. I knew that you were hurt. I didn’t think you’d hear me out. I saw you and everything I was working for slipping away from me. I gave up.”
He closes his eyes tight and runs a hand through his hair.
“Why didn’t you just tell me before anything happened between us?”
“Do you know what it’s like to go through life and not know why someone’s nice to you? To think that people are your friends and then find out all they care about is what you could do for them? That’s how it’s been my whole life. Except with you.
“I wanted to break free. To get out from under my father’s thumb. So I had an idea. I’ve traveled a lot. I know a lot about places and sights around the world that other less-advantaged people might not. What if I were to start a business that taps on that knowledge?”
“What kind of business?”
“I went to school with Sam and Ian. Ian’s always been a jealous shit, but Sam and I are friends. Real friends. When he told me he was thinking about getting married, that’s when the idea came to me. I’m the wedding planner.” He’s the wedding planner!? “I offered to put together a destination wedding. Not only did I not charge them for my services, I got heavy discounts, both because of the size of the group and because of the connections I have.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? I went on about Francesca and the wedding, and you didn’t say a thing.”
“There wasn’t a hint of recognition when you looked at me. You had no clue who I was. And I liked it that way. I could tell that you liked me, and I liked you, too. I wanted to see what happened.”
“You could’ve told me. I’d never heard of TJ Moore.”
“Right. But I didn’t know that. And you might have looked me up or heard someone else talk about me. Then I wouldn’t know if it was me or my name that you were interested in. I liked being Tim instead of TJ. I know it sounds crazy. Stupid. It is. I’m completely fucked up. I come with a cruise liner’s worth of baggage. If you want me out of your life, I’ll leave, I will. I just hope you don’t.”
Now I understand the strange look Francesca gave me at the rehearsal. She knew who Tim/TJ really was. She probably knew he was engaged, too. And she didn’t bother to tell me.
“Why are you here?“
He drops his chin and looks off to the side. His eyes are on the floor, and I wonder if he considered what his purpose was before he came.
“You asked me if I love you.” His eyes water. They are full of emotion. “I don’t know.” Tim’s hand drops to my leg. He squeezes my knee. “I’ve never been . . . in love. Is this it? Does it happen this fast? I . . . I’m not sure. But I feel something for you. Something strong and deep.” The words come out slow and quiet, like they are difficult for him to say.
“It’s been almost a month since we saw each other. Why now?”
“I tried staying away.” His soft caramel eyes are pained. “Partially for you. Because you deserve better than any life I could give you. There’s always going to be whispers behind our backs and people waiting for us to fall on our faces.”
“Why else?”
“I wanted to see if I could forget you.”
I close my eyes, keeping the tears locked away, and rub my forehead. That hurt. A lot. I mean so little, he wanted to forget me. I should tell him to get the fuck out of here.
“Open your eyes and look at me.” Tim rests his forehead against mine. I don’t comply. “Bailey. Look at me.”
Feeling broken once again, I give in and do as he wants. I look into those intense eyes that rip my skin open and see into my soul.
“I can’t forget you. I can’t move on. No one comes close to you. I haven’t been with anyone since you. I haven’t wanted to be. I know you must hate me, but every minute we’re apart, it’s killing me. It’s eating away at me like a metastasized cancer. So, yes. I think I am in love with you. All I know for certain is that I don’t want to live without you. That’s new for me. That’s nothing I’ve ever felt for anyone before.”
Tim reaches into his pocket and pulls from it a sparkling diamond ring. My eyes double in size.
“It’s not an engagement ring,” he explains, holding it up so that it catches the light.
“It’s not.” I state it as a fact to clarify what I just heard.
He shakes his head. “It’s not. And it’s not Siena’s ring. I would never do that to you. It’s a ring I picked out for you, the day after you left.”
“I have to be honest, it looks an awful lot like an engagement ring.”
“It does. But it’s not.”
“Right. Not an engagement ring.”
He nods. “It’s a promise ring.”
He picks up my hand. My skin tingles as he slips it on my left ring finger. A perfect fit.
“If you accept, I promise to spend the next six months doing everything I can to make you happy.”
“Just six months?”
He smirks. “If I fulfill my end of the deal, you promise to marry me.”
“Sounds a whole lot like an engagement if you ask me.”
“Nope.” He shakes his head. “I wouldn’t want to put that kind of pressure on you. It’s only a promise. One you can break at any time.”
“Why’s that? So if it doesn’t work, you can get the ring back?”
“If it doesn’t work, that means I failed at making you happy and don’t deserve the ring back.”
I don’t answer. I’m afraid. Afraid to believe that everything he said is true. Afraid to have the rug pulled from under me again.
“And if you don’t accept the ring as a promise, think of it as the contract binding our partnership.”
“What partnership?”
“I want you to come work with me, as an equal partner for Moore Weddings. Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”
“I can’t. I don’t know the first thing about what it entails.”
“You can. I love how you accessorized the bridesmaid dresses with the scraps of the wedding dress. And this way, I get a more feminine point of view on things like flowers and chair dressings. The rest of it, we’ll learn together.”
Excitement bubbles in my chest. He wants me to do this with him. To work as partners and do this together. It’s a risk. I’d have to quit my job, and there would be a lot of travel. But it would be new and fresh and exciting.
“Do you mean it?” I ask cautiously. “Do you really want to do this?”
“I want you. Any way that I can have you. And if I have to wait, I will. I’ll wait as long as it takes to change your mind.”
“You don’t have to wait.” I throw my arms around his neck. “Yes, I’ll do it. Yes, I’ll accept your promise ring. Yes, I want to be partners with you!”
Tim kisses me quick on the lips. “I won’t let you down. I promise.” He leans in, and his tongue makes its way into my mouth as he climbs on top of me and pushes me down.
He wastes no time stripping my shirt off. It’s been so long since we were last together, since I last felt him inside of me. I lift my hips, making it easier for him to get my pants off.
“How do you want me?”
“Just like this. Naked and on your back.”
“You mean boring old missionary sex?”
“Being with you is never boring,” he says, kissing my neck as he pulls his pants down.