Chapter 46
SAMMIE
To say that the last three weeks back in London had been shitty was putting it mildly.
Before I left for Italy, I was content enough with my job and was excited about the promotion that my boss had hinted several times was pretty much mine, but despite that amazing news, I’d started hating it.
At first I thought it was because I was still upset about leaving Romeo.
When I’d realised that he’d said he loved me, I cried happy and sad tears all the way to the airport.
I was happy because, hello , the man that I adored had just said he loved me.
For once, my feelings weren’t one-sided.
But I was also sad because I’d finally found a man that I loved who loved me back and I had to leave him.
Yes. I loved him.
Even though I’d only known him for two weeks, somehow it felt like I’d known and loved him for years.
And who could blame me? Romeo had done so many things to show me that I mattered. That I was special.
That he didn’t just accept me for who I was, he loved me because of it.
I’d wanted to tell him how I felt so many times, but I was scared.
Even now that we were still messaging multiple times a day, I still hadn’t found the courage to tell him. I would though, when he came over in three weeks.
Yep! Romeo was coming over in twenty days and sixteen hours and I couldn’t bloody wait.
Anyway, back to my job. As I was saying, at first I thought that I hated being at work because I was missing Romeo and of course because I’d just come back from the best two weeks of my life. Having the holiday blues was normal for everyone, right?
But a week later, I still had the same feeling of dread when I woke up every morning.
In the end I figured out that it was because after going to Italy and seeing how life could be and what was possible, I didn’t want to do the same job any more. Suddenly everything seemed so mundane and repetitive. I wanted more from life.
So just like Romeo had recommended when I was with him in Italy, I’d started applying for jobs that I knew I’d enjoy more, like event organisation and planning and roles that involved more interaction with customers. But so far, I’d had no interest.
When I spoke to a woman at a specialist events employment agency she said it’d be difficult for me to find work in the industry because I had no experience. But how the hell was I supposed to get experience if no one gave me a chance?
Internships weren’t an option because I had bills to pay, so that was that. I had no choice. I’d accept the promotion when it was confirmed, get some more event organisation experience and then in a few years hopefully I could work towards pursuing my dream career.
My phone chimed and when I saw it was from Romeo, a smile that was wider than a jumbo jet spread across my face.
Romeo
Ciao, bella. Thank you for my mug and the card. I love them!
I laughed as I read his message. I’d sent him a Mr Bean mug I spotted online along with a personalised thank you card with a selfie of us on the beach printed on the front.
Me
Glad it reached you safely. Now every time you drink coffee you can think of your twin brother!
Romeo
Grazie. But if I need to think of him, I just look in the mirror!
I snorted then replied with a row of laughing emojis.
Romeo
I loved the playlist too.
Me
Did you like the first track?
I’d also created him a playlist. I hadn’t kept up with doing the five songs a day thing for obvious reasons but it was easy to think of how Romeo made me feel.
The first track was ‘I’m Too Sexy’ by Right Said Fred which I thought was perfect.
Romeo
I liked it very much. It was kind of you to send a song that was all about you.
Sammie
Such a charmer!
Romeo
How is your day going?
Me
I still can’t stand my job, but my day just got much better, thanks to you! How about yours?
Romeo
I am sorry you are still not enjoying it. Hopefully when you are promoted you will like it more.
I am good. We have just arrived back from Alberobello.
Me
Ooh. I remember going there. That was the first time we got to spend proper time together.
Romeo
Sì. And it was when I started to realise that you were not the person I thought you were.
Me
You mean a drunk bimbo?
Romeo
I would never think such a thing!
Me
Haha, yeah, sure!
Romeo
Says the woman who compared me to Mr Bean.
Me
Oi! Don’t diss Mr Bean or I’ll take back your new mug! He’s a national treasure.
Romeo
I know. I am not worthy of such a comparison.
Me
You are just as sexy as Mr Bean.
Romeo
Grazie. Now my head will not fit through the door after that compliment.
Me
I’m sure you’ll manage!
Romeo
I must go. I have a meeting with Victoria, but we will video call later, sì?
Me
Definitely! Ciao.
As I closed WhatsApp, my heart fluttered. Being away from Romeo had been hard, but I was so grateful for his messages and video calls. They were the highlight of my day.
Once I’d finished another painfully long stint at work, I went home, showered, cooked dinner then got ready to speak to Romeo.
We video called every night once he’d finished dinner service and was back in his office or in bed.
When it was his day off or he was sleeping at home, sometimes we’d have phone sex. I’d never been into that before, but not only did I miss him, I missed his talented cock and touching myself whilst watching Romeo on screen made me feel closer to him.
I was so glad there wasn’t long until we’d be back together again.
For the moment we planned to do the long-distance thing. Romeo would be over in less than three weeks, then in a couple of months, I’d use some of the few days’ holiday I had left to go and see him in Italy for a long weekend.
After that I didn’t know what would happen, but we’d work something out.
We had to.
My phone lit up and as Romeo’s name flashed on the screen, I let out an excited squeal, before jumping on the bed and accepting the call.
‘Hey!’ I said excitedly. ‘How are you?’
But as I saw Romeo’s solemn face, my smile slid from my lips.
‘What’s wrong?’ My face creased with concern.
‘I had a meeting earlier with Victoria.’ Romeo blew out a frustrated breath.
‘Yeah, I know, you said. How’d it go? Did she give you bad news?’
‘No. It was good news, but…’
‘But if it was good news, why do you look so sad?’
‘Because…’ He paused and my heart thundered against my chest. ‘She told me that… they want to send me to the new Love Hotel. In California.’
‘Oh my God!’ I screamed. ‘That’s amazing! That’s what you’ve always wanted! Congrats! I’m so happy for you, darling!’
‘ Grazie .’
‘When do they want you to go?’
‘In two weeks…’ His voice trailed off.
And then it dawned on me.
I was so wrapped up in celebrating his happy news that I didn’t even think about what this move would mean.
If Romeo was going to California in two weeks, that meant he wouldn’t be able to come to London.
And if he was working there, what would happen to us?
Travelling to Italy for a long weekend was feasible. But California was over five thousand miles away.
Maintaining a long-distance relationship from Italy would be difficult. Trying to do it from the US would be virtually impossible.
‘Oh,’ I said, my stomach plummeting a billion miles beneath the earth. ‘So that means… so that’s it then. For us.’
Even though I’d known from the start that this was on the cards, I’d pushed it out of my mind. But that denial had come back to bite me in the arse.
‘No. This does not have to be the end. I want this to work. We will find a way.’
‘How?’
‘I do not know, but…’
‘We have to be realistic, Romeo. We’ve done well keeping in touch for the past three weeks, but now you’re going to California, it’ll be impossible. You’ll be busy settling in and working and flights there are expensive and… it won’t work.’
‘We have to try.’
‘I’m not sure if I can, Romeo.’ My stomach twisted.
‘If we make a clean break now, it’ll be easier, for both of us.
I don’t want you worrying about me when you’re over there.
This is your dream. I can’t get in the way of that.
Especially after what happened the last time you made plans to travel to the States.
No.’ I shook my head defiantly. ‘You’ll need to be focused.
I don’t want you to feel guilty for not having time to call me, especially with the time difference. ’
I was sure California was about eight hours behind us so it’d be even harder to keep in touch.
And once he was surrounded by beautiful women over there, he’d soon forget about me.
Plus, when I got this promotion, I’d be working longer hours and have more responsibilities.
If I ever wanted to get the chance to pursue a career that involved event organisation, I couldn’t mess up this opportunity by spending my days pining over Romeo and wondering when we’d speak or be together.
No. We’d had a good run, but it’d be less painful if we drew a line under things now.
I’d never forget my time with Romeo for as long as I lived, but I’d been in this situation before with holiday romances. They always fizzled out and ended up hurting ten times more than if we’d called it quits sooner.
‘Congrats again,’ I said, tears welling in my eyes. ‘I’m tired. I’d better go.’
‘We will speak tomorrow?’ Romeo asked, concern etched across his face.
‘I… I’m not sure.’
‘ Please , Sammie. Do not do this.’
‘I have to go.’ I ended the call, collapsed back on the mattress then started bawling into my pillow.
I hated ending the call so abruptly, but I had to set Romeo free.
I wanted him to go to California without having the pressure of trying to maintain a relationship and with me holding him back.
Ending things would crush me, but in the long run, he’d be better off without me.
It was for the best.
I was sure of it.