Chapter 29 #3
‘He was the first person to ever come inside my house,’ Eira interrupts.
She remains fixated on the statue, her tone dreamlike, lost in a memory.
‘My parents kept so many secrets. I was scared someone would see, but I didn’t want to throw the books away.
They told me I had to protect them, so I did.
And then Damian came, and he was nice to me, so I said he should stay, but soon he started asking questions.
And he smelled . . . I’d always been afraid to use my powers, after what happened to my parents.
But Damian was right there, and I was so hungry.
Once I touched him, I couldn’t stop, and . . .’
‘You hexed him,’ I finish for her.
‘He was angry at first, and I was afraid he would leave and I’d be alone again.
But he told me I could make it better. That I should go to Shiverholde and avenge my parents.
Once I had magic, he would have a reason to stay, because I would be special.
But when I got there, he put a veil on me.
It went to my feet and I kept tripping over the ends, but he said it was important nobody knew who I was, in case we needed to do this again.
I didn’t feel special then. I felt . . .
like a dirty secret. When I touched the first person, they screamed. Everybody was screaming. I hated it.’
Her body shakes. ‘They tasted awful, but I couldn’t stop.
I’d never fed like that before. This one girl, she .
. . her emotions . . . There was so many of them.
Too many. I didn’t like that either, but I had to please Damian.
I thought if I pleased him, he would help me stop.
So I kept channelling and channelling that girl, and then she went still, and I didn’t understand why, but suddenly there was nothing left and –’
‘That’s enough,’ Astin says brusquely. ‘You’ve made your point.’
The knife twirls in his grasp, towards her, away from her, around and around and around, just like his emotions used to swirl. But there’s a steady, constant underlying current of roses now, one that only gets stronger as he flips the knife one final time, and hands it to me. My shoulders sag.
He takes a deep breath and says to Eira, ‘I know you’re not wholly to blame for what happened to Olivia. And I know now that Souleaters are capable of good. Maybe you can find a way to use magic like Daisy’s too.’
Eira merely sobs in response, but it’s hard to tell if it’s relief or sorrow.
‘Thank you,’ I whisper, holding Astin tighter. ‘I wasn’t sure if you’d change your mind.’
He sighs. ‘Neither was I. But I told you when I woke in the temple, all I wanted was to be with you. I wanted to choose a life filled with happiness and joy. She should have a chance for a life like that too. But if she hurts someone after this . . .’
‘She won’t. I’ll help her control it. I promise.’
Eira hiccups, followed by a loud sniff. Astin rolls his eyes and mutters something about theatrics.
‘She can’t come home with us,’ he tells me. ‘You can help her from far, far away.’
‘Deal. Speaking of the inn . . .’ I glance at the chest of coins, waiting for collection.
We deserve that reward more than ever. Damian got his potion all right – it’s trapped with the rest of him, still in his pocket.
It hits me, properly, that I’m not getting cured, and I’m surprised to find an absence of regret.
I don’t need to change who I am to be loved.
I just needed to find the person who’d love me regardless.
The person in question has, of course, gone to investigate the pile of money, picking up one of the coins and tossing it in the air. Two land on the table. He frowns. ‘Was that always there?’
He takes another. Two more appear. He turns his arm over and his eyes go wide. A gold circle is etched on his wrist, to the side of his hexmark.
‘A charmmark,’ I whisper. ‘They’re real.’ With a roll of my eyes, I add, ‘Of course your charm would be a way to make money.’
‘Are you complaining?’ Astin grins.
‘No. But –’ I dart out of the way as he grabs a handful and a whole litany of coins crash to the floor. ‘Will you stop that? If you’re not careful, we’ll be up to our necks in coin.’
‘How about enough to keep the inn running?’ He wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me against him. ‘Hey, we’ve got an extra room to rent now.’
‘Oh, we do?’ The smile on my lips feels distasteful given Eira is in my line of sight. ‘Were you planning on giving yours up?’
‘No, I’m planning to drag you out of that pink hellhole you sleep in.’ He silences my protest – and attempts to inform him my room is, in fact, lilac – by placing a finger over my mouth. In a low voice he adds, ‘And once I have you in my bed, I don’t plan to let you leave anytime soon.’
The heat flooding through me is quickly doused by another sob from Eira. Astin’s nostrils flare. ‘We should get out of here. For several reasons.’
‘We need to find his captives first. Try to help them. And then there’s . . .’ I trail off, staring at Damian’s statue.
‘What should we do with him?’
From certain angles, the way the light hits him, it forms a golden ring around his head. The crown he’s always wanted.
‘Leave him here,’ I say. ‘The king in his castle at last.’