Chapter 6 – Cove
Chapter Six
Cove
The next few cities are a blur.
I fall face-first into my bed every night and mentally prepare for how shitty I’m going to feel in the morning.
No matter how hard I try to prepare myself, it doesn’t help.
When I feel good, there’s no possible way to anticipate how bad it truly is when it hits. Even if it sucks, I shake it off and force myself through interviews, practice, and evening shows.
No one can accuse me of not being committed. I guess I’m starting to wonder if this level of laser focus on my goals is really worth the long-term health consequences.
My mouth and throat hurt regularly from how violent the vomiting is. It’s not an everyday occurrence, but it’s more frequent than I’d like. It’s also happening more than it did at the beginning of the tour.
God.
I’m so ready to feel like myself again.
Ravvi walks at my side as we make our way out of the building, following our show. We’re lucky there are so many of us now that they brought in a second bus.
Riot and Creed took the new bus with their sister, Bellamy. It leaves me with Declan, Ravvi, and Damian on the old bus. They’re the ones sleeping in the bunks, so I really shouldn’t complain.
It was insane before Bellamy came to tour with us. Since there are only four bunks, Declan always ended up on the couch, rather than riding on the bus with the rest of the security team and tour staff.
I think he did it to be extra stubborn about ensuring we couldn’t get too wild.
“How ya doing, Clover?” Ravvi asks, tossing an arm around my shoulder.
His electric scent hits my nose, and everything in me aches to stop in my tracks and turn toward him so I can bury my face in his sweaty T-shirt.
He’s called me Clover since I was a teenager, and it spilled over into everyone calling me it.
I love my name, so I’ve never been big on nicknames, but knowing the reason behind it makes my stomach flip-flop, even if things are majorly complicated between us.
The first time I asked him about it, he explained that four-leaf clovers symbolize luck, faith, hope, and love. Each leaf is said to signify one of the concepts.
I can still remember the way his dark eyes sparkled as he told me all about it. He’s very sweet when he wants to be and way too charming for my own good.
“I’m serious. You’ve got all of us worried.” He squeezes my shoulder, and I frown.
The last thing I want to do is to get into any of that right now. It’s another reminder of what I have to look forward to in less than ten hours.
“Cove?”
“I’m good. You saw how hyped the audience was tonight. We killed it.”
We hit the double doors at the end of the long corridor, and Ravvi shoves the push bar with a strong hand. He holds it open and follows me out into the cool night air.
“We always put on a solid performance. That’s not what I’m asking about.
” He slips around in front of me, blocking my path to the sidewalk.
“You’re exhausted. We can all see it. Have you considered seeing the tour doctor?
I can ask my dad to have someone else brought in if you don’t want to see McMillan. ”
I hate the concerned look that crosses his face as his brows draw together.
“Not every problem can be fixed by nepotism.” I roll my eyes but smile to offset the sting of my words.
I’m not trying to be an asshole.
I’d just like it if everyone would stop asking me if I’m okay.
Whatever psychic abilities he was born with probably give him as much insight as a doctor would have. Which makes it silly that he continues to ask me.
“I know you know who Oakley Graves is.” Ravvi grabs my chin, forcing me to look up at him.
“She’s an omega. During her very first tour, my grandfather had to cancel shows for weeks because she went into heat unexpectedly.
It didn’t tank Wicked Truth’s career. Neither did scheduling in breaks every three months. ”
“Your uncle Marcus was huge back then. The paparazzi wanted any information they could get on Angel Rae. That’s why they made it big.” I shove his hand away and cross my arms over my chest.
“Oh, you think we’re any better than they were?” He laughs derisively, and goose bumps break out along my arms.
I’ve only ever heard that tone when he was verbally eviscerating someone for fucking with his little brother.
Ravvi is normally easygoing. He’s always smiling and laughing, but he can be vicious when he wants to be. He’s not above using his ghostly friends to get dirt on whoever he needs to, making the shit talking really burn.
The only time I’ve ever seen him stoop that low was at summer camp at Damian’s Way—the music charity that his mom runs.
Some of the kids were pretty hateful about one of Damian’s meltdowns, and Ravvi spent the next two weeks emotionally breaking each and every one of the guys who participated in making it worse.
Before he was done, he’d made all of them regret the error of their ways. It was impressive and terrifying all at once, and I really don’t want to see him turn that vindictive streak on me.
“Come on, Clover.” He quirks a dark eyebrow.
“You really believe we got signed as the opening act for one of the biggest names on Ruined Records’ roster, and it has nothing to do with the fact Damian and I are related to the owner of the record label?
” He laughs again. “You know better, and you were fully willing to take advantage of your connections to make it happen.”
“Oh, fuck you,” I hiss. My jaw slides from side to side, and I shake my head. “You’re an asshole.”
“But I’m not a liar,” he says in a voice that’s a little too sing-song for the line he just delivered. “You wanna make it in the industry. I respect that. We’re making it happen. Just take the advice being handed to you from people who know this life better than you do.”
“Have a good night, Ravvi.” I sidestep, trying to get away from him, but he follows me.
“Your career won’t mean much if you completely destroy your body in the process. None of us want to see that happen. You can be an omega and make a name for yourself. Taking time off for heats isn’t going to fuck with your ability to be a star.”
I take a step back as my face twists into a frown. “The only thing that would do is make me completely reliant on alphas.”
“If you find the right alphas, they won’t hold you back.” He follows me forward, cradling my cheek in his hand. “Based on how much you hate the idea of pack life, I’d swear you grew up in an environment where you watched an omega be taken advantage of, but I know that’s not the case.”
“My mom and I are very different people.” I stare into his deep brown eyes, trying to hold my ground.
It’s complicated.
I’m drawn to Ravvi in some unexplainable way. It’s almost like my system aches to touch and be close to him, but I know what that would lead to. He denied me the first time I went into heat, and it broke me in ways I’m not prepared to admit.
Before
Sweat beads on my brow and between my breasts as another cramp rips through my stomach.
“We should call an ambulance,” Damian says, frowning.
At least, I think he is.
That look might be more of a grimace. He’s on the opposite side of the bed in my hotel room, and my vision is fuzzy, so it’s hard to be sure.
I flew out to Colorado three days ago, and I was fine.
We’ve met every day to write and practice, but with their family pack out of town, we stick to the Ruined Records offices.
His family wouldn’t care, but mine was serious about me not sleeping over at their houses while Lyric and Love are away with their guys.
I’m eighteen years old, making that request a little ridiculous, but I still live at home. I try to respect my parents’ wishes whenever possible, so I’ve had them bring me back to the hotel every night.
I knew something wasn’t right when they dropped me off last night.
I was just too stubborn to say anything.
Shit.
My lower stomach cramps so badly that I wail, curling up in a ball.
“Someone fuck me,” I sob, stretching out a hand to grab the front of Creed’s T-shirt.
I would reach for Ravvi, but he’s too far away. Also, something tells me Riot and Creed are the most likely to seal the deal without me having to beg.
“Um, I mean, I will, but like…” Creed brushes his fingers over my cheek. “Are you sure you’re clear enough to know what you’re asking for?”
“Yeah,” Riot chimes in. “How about we take you to one of those omega places?”
“Hell no,” I snap. “No way. I’ve read so many stories where the sedation didn’t take fully. People spend days rolling around in agony.”
“Shit,” Damian says.
“You’re barely seventeen,” Ravvi says, jabbing a finger at his brother. “Mom would lose her shit if I let you participate in this.”
“Really?” Damian scoffs. “She knows what going into heat is like. I don’t think she would want us to let Cove suffer.”
“They’re like a year and a half apart. Don’t make it weird for no reason,” Creed says.
“Why am I having to beg alphas to have sex with me?” I mutter, shoving my hair back from my face. I release Creed’s shirt in the process, and he wobbles as he kneels on the edge of the mattress.
“I’m going to agree with Damian and Creed on this one,” Riot chimes in. “All of our parents understand what heats are like. It’s not something that can be controlled.”
“Then you be the one to call them and ask what they think,” Ravvi mutters, stepping over and giving Creed a shove away from me.
“I know for a fact, my family wouldn’t tell us to leave her suffering,” Creed growls back. “Yours wouldn’t either.”
“You’re older than I am,” I say, meeting Ravvi’s deep brown eyes. “And you’ve told me about a million times that we’re going to end up together.”
Ravvi leans over, marking my cheek with his pheromones. He brushes my hair over my shoulder and kisses my forehead. “You’re going to love me one day, but we’re not there yet. And I’m sorry, Clover. I can’t give you any extra ammunition to hate me when the fog clears.”
“What?” I sob, making a mad grab for his arms.
It does nothing.
“Come on, Damian. We’ve got to dip.” Ravvi sighs, shaking his head. “I’ll call everyone and let them know you’re safe.”
“I don’t want you to go,” I choke out.
“Tell me you’re not going to pull this altruistic bullshit when Cove needs you,” Riot growls.
Ravvi meets my eyes. “Are you asking me to ride out this heat? Or are you really ready to give us a chance? Because I can’t fuck you and go back to only being bandmates.”
My eyes narrow. “Just go.”
“That’s what I thought.” He sighs, shaking his head. “I wish I could be the one to take care of you, but I can’t. Not like this. Don’t worry. The twins will make sure you’re okay.”
Present Day
I’m not sure I haven’t been punishing him ever since, but in some fucked-up, cruel-as-hell, twisted sense of fate…
I’ve only ended up denying myself too.
I’m still furious over the way he walked away that day, and I never want to feel that vulnerable or out of control again. Not that I don’t appreciate Riot and Creed stepping up and helping me, but it made a mess out of things.
I hurt their feelings by crying on and off, begging them to make Ravvi and Damian come back.
It also made our friendship really weird the first few times I saw them after those days in the hotel.
If nothing else, it proved that, while I’m not appalled by their scents, they’re not actually meant for me.
One. Big. Mess.
That’s what heats lead to.