Chapter 16 #3
Firelight dances, bathing our skin with a flickering orange sheen. Morgan traces the flatland of my abdomen with her fingertips, walks her fingers down, down, and then cups me, palming my balls and the slick, sticky, slackening length of my cock. Just…holding me, I guess. It feels amazing.
That's when I hear her sniffle, feel her shoulders shake. "Morgan?"
She rolls her head from side to side. "Sorry, I—" and then she's sobbing.
"Morgan?"
She buries her face against my chest and just sobs, and all I can do is hold her through it.
Long minutes later, she finally manages to catch her breath.
"I'm sorry, Noah. I…" she lifts and looks at me with tear-silvered eyes.
"That was the most cathartic cry of my life.
Because Noah? What you just gave me? It was…
" she shakes her head. "I don't even have the words.
I never knew it could be like that. I hardly recognize myself. The things I said?" I feel her blush.
"Good tears, then?" I ask, relief flooding me.
“Oh my lord, yes," she laughs. "What? You mean to say you've never fucked someone so good they had a breakdown after?"
I can only shake my head. "No, I…I can't say I have."
She sobers rapidly. "Noah, I didn't mean—"
I silence her with a kiss. “Nope. We're not going there."
She pulls back enough to meet my eyes. "That was the most intense and incredible sex of my entire life.
" She squeezes her eyes shut, nuzzles her lips against my jaw just below my earlobe.
"I don't know if…if it's too soon or…or if I'm allowed to say this, but…
I think I'm falling in love with you, Noah. "
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
"I know," I rasp. "I'm falling in love with you too."
She kisses the corner of my mouth, the tip of my nose, my cheeks, my eyes, each kiss delicate and soft and warm. "It's okay to be mixed up about that, Noah. I understand."
I shake my head, eyes burning. "I—"
I squeeze my eyes shut, hating the burn. I don't do this. But here it is. "Sorry I'm—I…"
Her lips touch my eyes, kiss away the hot salt.
"Sssshhh, Noah. It's okay. It's okay. I understand.
" She straddles me again, giving me all of her weight, pressed flush against me from toes to forehead, warm skin sliding on mine, breasts firm buttons between our bodies, lips kissing my eyes, my cheeks, the side of my nose near my tear ducts, my forehead. "Let it all go, Noah. I can take it."
I shake my head. "Can't. Can't."
Her lips touch my ear. "Have you?"
“Have I what?"
"Let yourself cry?"
"Back then, yeah. Some."
"Feel it, Noah. Don't hide it. Don't ignore it." She pulls away. "Look at me, honey."
Her thumbs swipe under my eyes. "You can trust me with it."
"I don't…I don't know where this is—" I squeeze my eyes shut and try to look away, mortified to the point of speechlessness.
"Hey, hey, hey." Her voice is so tender it hurts. "Don't hide it from me, Noah. It's me. You think I don't understand?"
The ache in my soul explodes, cracks me open like an overripe melon. I'm utterly spent and ragged, and she's so soft and she's everywhere, and I feel her wrapped around me and tangled up into the core of my being, and I don't know what to do.
My shoulders shake. I feel my eyes leaking, and Morgan traces her thumbs under my eyes, crooning to me. "That's it, honey. Let it all go. I've got you, too. That's how this works."
"I fucking loved her so much, Morgan," I hear myself say, voice cracking. "How can—how can I feel this way for you, too? How can that be…" I shake my head. "I didn't know it could be like that either."
"You loved your wife, Noah. That will never go away.
It will never not be true." She cups my face.
"Listen to me, Noah. I don't want you to ever not feel that love for her.
I can't replace her and I'm not trying to.
I can't. I don’t want to and I know that's not what you want, either.
This thing we have? It's ours, Noah. It doesn't change the past. It doesn't touch your love for Taylor.
You can say her name to me. You can tell me about her. "
"I just…what we had, Taylor and I…it was so good, Morgan. Our whole marriage, I could never imagine how anything could be better than our chemistry." I shake my head, swallow hard. "But that? You and me, just now? My god."
"I know," she breathes. "Me too."
“I’m not comparing."
"I know. You don't have to explain."
"I'm just…"
She kisses my eyes again. "I know, honey. I know. And it's okay."
"I'm mixed up because that was fucking…earth-shattering, Morgan."
"I can't feel my legs, still, Noah," she whispers. "I'm gonna be walking funny for a while."
"Did I hurt you?"
She laughs. "God, no. I've never felt this fucking amazing in my life.
I feel free, Noah. You set me free." Her voice is quiet but quavering with intensity.
"It's—he’s…that awful voice is gone. All I hear is you, now.
" She nuzzles my jaw. “Should I be embarrassed?
I went a little crazy, I think. I…I'm not normally that aggressive or… or demanding."
"No, you absolutely should not feel embarrassed. Morgan, that was incredible. Do you have any fucking clue how you made me feel?"
She breathes on my ear. "Yeah? How?"
"I don't know how to put it into words. The things you said to me? So fucking hot."
"You like it when I beg?" she whispers.
"Fuck yes I do."
She shudders against me. "Then I'll beg for it every time you fuck me."
"Ah god, Morgan. Keep talking like that I'll need you again in a second."
"Promise?" She palms my balls, caresses my cock. "I'm still leaking your cum and yet I need you again."
"Jesus, Morgan."
"Did I happen to mention that no one I've ever been with has ever been able to keep up with my sex drive?"
I clear my throat. "No, that hasn't come up."
"It's true. I've always been left…unsatisfied."
"Can't have that."
"Take a shower with me?" she suggests.