Chapter 43
Chapter Forty-Three
Franky
Jason
You up?
Not looking for action. Unless you are
I’m guessing you went to bed early. Only one more game, Doc.
They were so close to making the conference finals. I wished I’d been able to stay awake but with the time difference on the West Coast, I was out for the count before the third period had even started.
I sent him a message.
Kind of boring how you guys keep winning. I slept through the rest of it. Yawn.
He was probably still asleep, but I expected he’d call soon to make sure I had enough blueberries and bananas in my overnight oats. I also wondered if I should tell him something more personal. That I missed him. That I couldn’t wait to see him again.
That maybe we should discuss the evolution of our partnership.
Put like that, it sounded like a business merger. But falling in love wasn’t unlike a merging of lives. Of hearts and souls and everything in between.
My phone buzzed. Not Jason, but my mother.
Kendra had been in contact intermittently over the last couple of months.
She and Xavier had finally called it quits and were fighting over alimony, so most of her messages centered on her “rights” and “what she was owed.” I felt sorry for her, but after how low she pushed me the last time I saw her, I was trying to re-establish the boundaries, for my sake and the sake of my child.
Today, she had sent a photo. It was Jason in a bar with a woman.
Here we go again.
I looked closer. Pretty, blonde, and … familiar.
Kendra’s text filled in the details.
Darling, have you seen this? That’s his ex!
So that was why I recognized her. Everly, the woman he dated when he lived in Boston. I didn’t know much about her. Didn’t want to know, to be honest, because wanting brought me closer to wanting something else. Something more.
The phone rang, and against my better judgment, I answered.
She was already talking. “I thought you should see.”
“Mom, I’ve already told you: Jason and I are not a couple.”
“Well, I know that. I could see it at Theo’s retirement party, but I remember what I was like when I was pregnant with Cat.
So emotional. So hormonal. And your father was no help.
” She twittered on about how much she cried during her first pregnancy, but not so much with me, probably because my aura was different.
Calmer. “I know you’re approaching this with bucketloads of common sense—that’s my Franky to a T!
—but I’m sure a little part of you thinks, ‘maybe?’”
I closed my eyes against the pain every word caused. Why couldn’t she be on my side? “I don’t think that, Mom.”
“Your head knows the score, but the hormones—and the heart!—always think they know different. Now, the ex just had a baby and she’s with another player in LA, so I’m sure there’s nothing to that photo.
But the article was clear that he wanted that life with her when he was in Boston. He wanted a baby with her.”
My mouth felt dryer than sand.
“I-I knew that. He was clear about what he wants from the start.” Nothing had changed, had it? Except for me thinking he might want more.
He might want me.
“Well, good, then! I saw how you looked at him at that party. Of course, he’s very handsome so who wouldn’t want that kind of eye candy in their life? But you’re a realist. Always have been, which is a blessing right now.”
“Mom, I should go. I have to go to work.” Work was what I needed to focus on. That, and my baby.
On hanging up, I didn’t go to work, at least, not immediately. Instead, I sank into Dr. Dube’s sofa and clicked the link my mother had sent from Hot Goss. Did I need to know anything more about Jason and Everly? No. But data and facts were my bread and butter.
Scientific method, Franky. Always the method.
The title blared like a DEFCON 1 warning.
Old flames reunite as the Chicago-LA series heats up!
The “article” described how Everly was now married to an LA Quake player and had recently had a child, a little boy. How she and Jason were the Boston Cougars super couple until she broke his heart. A few months later, she became engaged to someone else and announced a pregnancy.
At the end of August.
My heart plummeted to the floor. That was when Jason offered to be my donor.
Armed with this hypothesis, I trawled back through the Hot Goss archives, gathering every data point I could find. Items about their breakup, anonymous sources talking about how he pushed for kids and marriage, and she said no.
I added it up in my head, assigning each point to a mental spreadsheet, titled “All the Reasons Franky is a Fool.”
The swing set.
The love for his nieces and nephews.
The desperation for a child that led him to offer me his super sperm and tie himself to my dream.
But he had once wanted this dream with Everly.
And he would want it again with someone else.
A whole brood. I wouldn’t be able to give it to him.
I no longer doubted Jason’s interest in our child—he would be there for her, through thick and thin.
But he would eventually meet a woman who suited him.
Who would give him the family perfection he craved.
Not a four-eyed loser like me.
It would be tough to watch. Sharing custody of a child meant our lives would be intertwined forever. I had known that, but I had assumed I would never actually fall for someone like Jason, that our differences would keep my heart safe.
Now I would have to see him with the woman who made him happy. Pick-ups, drop-offs, birthday parties, doctors’ appointments. At one time, I would have said a baby was all I needed, but Jason Isner had given me hope that I might have more. That I might deserve more.
But that was a fallacy. I would always be Slug Girl, and he would always be a superstar, far and away out of my league.
Still too close, though, unless I did something about it. Return to first principles, the reason I was doing this in the first place. For me and my child. This was my baby project to start with, and I didn’t need the father to be a constant in our lives.
And I had the perfect solution to mending what my foolish heart had broken.