Chapter 35
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
The penthouse doesn’t feel like just somewhere I’ve been staying anymore.
It feels like somewhere I’ve been living.
It feels like home. My clothes fill half the dresser now.
My shoes line the inside of the closet opposite of his.
My shampoo sits beside his in the shower like it belongs there.
Like I belong here. That thought still feels dangerous.
If someone told me a year ago that I would be living with Karson, I would have punched them in the face.
Now, it’s been a week and I’m still reeling from how quickly everything has changed.
But, it’s the most comfortable I’ve been in a long time.
Karson moves around the kitchen behind me, the low clink of dishes and the hum of the refrigerator filling the silence while I sit curled up sideways on the couch.
My phone rests in my lap. Melissa and Jack haven’t said a word since before the gala.
No texts. No calls. No passive-aggressive reminders about financial agreements or appearances or responsibilities.
Nothing. I’m relieved, and yet somehow still on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop. My thumb taps the edge of the screen.
“You’re thinking too loud,” Karson says from behind me. I glance over my shoulder.
“Is that a thing?”
“For you? Yeah,” he says, making his way to the couch before sitting down next to me.
Running my fingers through my hair, I let out a sigh.
“It’s just weird. Melissa kept her thumb on me in any way she could from the day they picked me up from that foster home.
The fact that I haven’t heard a word from her since the gala is strange.
I didn’t expect her to freak out, that’s just not who she is.
But letting me slip from her control…it doesn’t seem right.
I should be relieved-” I trail off, shaking my head.
“They’re not going to touch you,” he says, his voice low and controlled. It’s a promise, and I believe him.
“You never did tell me what happened to your parents,” he whispers. My eyes search his. “Or how you ended up with the Steele’s. Do you want to talk about it?”
I haven’t told anyone. Parker knows I was adopted as a teenager by people I hate.
I only told her after Karson and Maverick got her back last year.
I hate talking about my past–if I don’t, it never happened.
But, I know now that I truly can trust Karson with everything.
Letting out a sigh, I lean my shoulder into his side and rest my head on his chest.
“My parents died when I was three. They got into a car accident when they were on some vacation. I was with my grandparents that weekend.”
He shifts beside me and pulls me into him tighter, but he doesn’t say anything.
“I stayed with them until I was five. When they both died, I ended up in the system. I bounced around so much,” I exhale a shaky breath. “There was one home I went to that I liked. One that wasn’t absolutely awful. It was the first one. Mrs. Thompson,” I smile at her memory. “She was amazing.”
“How come you didn’t stay there?” he asks. I shrug.
“When her foster license was coming up for renewal, I guess she was ready to be done. I don’t blame her…but I miss her.” My eyes begin to fill with tears. Pushing them away, I continue.
“Anyway. Bounced around a lot after that. The homes were all shit. Mostly neglectful, until the one where I met you. Abusive and neglectful, but you know that.”
“He paid for that,” Karson mutters. Sitting up, I turn to look at him.
“H-how do you know that?”
“I came back.”
My heart slams in my chest. “You did?”
He nods. “It took longer than I thought it would, but I did. You were already gone. And I beat that mother fucker within an inch of his life.”
It shouldn’t make me smile, but it does.
Climbing on top of his lap, I straddle him and throw my arms around his neck.
My fingers grip the hair at the back of his neck, dragging his lips to mine.
It’s not hurried, not needy. It’s slow as I try to make him feel the gratitude behind it.
His lips caress mine tenderly, and my insides melt at how soft he’s being.
My enigma.
He breaks the kiss first and leans into the couch.
“Finish your story, doll.”
My head spins as I try to rein in my ragged breathing.
“A couple weeks after you left, I got moved again. This time, to the Steele’s.
To make a long story short, they were cruel.
No yelling or physical abuse, but they brought me to their house and just…
ignored me. They only really ever acknowledged my existence when it came time for the gala, or some other stupid charity event where they could look like heroes.
If I behaved, I got rewarded in the form of attention,” I shrug.
“Shopping trips, fancy school. Jack was always a little detached, but Melissa would at least treat me like her daughter. Until I said or did something that she didn’t like. Then, I was back to being a ghost.”
“She groomed you,” he says low, understanding. I’ve never been able to say it out loud, but I nod slowly.
“Tried to mold me into the perfect daughter. Be the poster child for their foundation,” I smirk. “I wasn’t very good at it.”
Karson’s fingers flex around my hips. “You deserved so much more, doll. I’m so sorry.”
I shake my head. “It’s not your fault. And, you helped me break free from them.
Without you, I’m not sure if I would have ever found the courage to do it myself.
They were awful but I think maybe a small part of me hoped one day they’d just accept me for me.
They went through the hassle of adopting me, so why wouldn’t they? ”
“I made you a promise the day I met you. Life might have separated us for entirely too long, but I’m going to keep that promise, doll.
I never meant to break it in the first place.
” I see it then, something I’ve never seen on Karson’s face.
Guilt. The man is violent, impulsive, brutal.
Guilt is not something he’s ever felt for any of it.
He thinks he let me down, and it eats at him.
“We were kids-”
“You hated me,” he growls low, pained.
“I did,” I don’t bother trying to soften the blow. That’s not us. “I hated you for leaving me, I hated that your face reminded me of a time where I felt safe and it was taken away.”
My hands cup his cheeks. “But you were right. I hated that I didn’t hate you at all. As much as I tried to cling on to that anger, that hurt. I held onto it for so long, I didn’t know what I’d be without it. But I do now.”
“And what are you, doll?” he asks with a smug grin. I roll my eyes.
“Yours. I think I always have been.”
Hurricane eyes glitter in excitement. “Told ya,” he whispers, touching his forehead to mine. My body shivers as his lips touch mine, and I melt into him. But before I let the storm sweep me away, I pull back.
“What about you? What happened to your parents?”
His gaze roams my face and he shrugs.
“I was left at a hospital.” There’s no emotion in his words, just fact. My lips part and I blink at him.
“What?”
“The woman that had me, left me there. My records say she came in high as a kite, pushed me out and took off.”
My chest tightens.
“I had opioids in my system. Spent almost a month in the NICU. I was placed in the system immediately.”
“You were just a baby. You spent your,” I swallow the lump forming in my throat. “Your entire life just bouncing around?” He nods.
“People want healthy babies.”
I open my mouth to say something, anything, but he hooks his finger under my chin, closing it.
“Don’t. Don’t apologize for something someone else did. It truly doesn’t bother me. I never bonded with anyone like babies are supposed to, so it doesn’t hurt me. It just is.”
I nod, but I can’t push away the hurt my heart feels at this moment.
“Enough with the heavy shit,” Karson says, bracing his arms around my waist and standing from the couch. A surprised laugh slips from me as my legs wrap around him instinctively. His mouth finds mine, not rough or claiming like usual, but slow. Certain.
He carries me toward the bedroom without breaking the kiss, and sets me down on the mattress like I’m something sacred.
My fingers hook the collar of his shirt, pulling him down on top of me.
His weight settles over me, warm and steady, and for the first time in a long time, nothing inside of me fights to run.