Chapter 35
Cece
Iblink, trying to process what I just heard.
Luc is the Gatekeeper?
My brain scrambles to keep up, but the words hit like a landslide I didn’t see coming. This isn’t just some title. It isn’t ceremonial or symbolic. It’s power. Real, political, ancient power. And he’s been keeping it quiet. From me.
I feel the floor tilt under my feet, though I know I’m standing still.
“You’re the Seventh?” I ask slowly, like maybe I heard him wrong. “You’re the one meant to sit at what is basically the head of the High Order? You’re of royal blood?”
Luc’s eyes stay on me. “Yes.”
That one word carries too much weight. I look at him and suddenly everything makes sense.
His calmness under pressure. The way he speaks about power, about responsibility.
Even the way Xan talks about Luc carrying the weight of their world.
All of it. It was never just instinct or just desire to be a great Warper.
He was trained for this. Born to be their leader.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I say, quieter now. There’s no accusation in my tone. Just confusion.
Luc hesitates. “I wanted to,” he says. “But I also wanted to protect you from what that meant. From what I would have to become if I stepped into that role. And honestly, part of me never planned to step into it.”
I feel an ache in my chest.
“You’ll hide part of who you are so you don’t have to become the person fate expects you to be?”
His jaw flexes. “Something like that.”
I cross my arms, trying to brace myself. “And now you’re saying you have to go back. Step into that position. Take that power.”
“Not want to,” he corrects gently. “I don’t want to. If I ever step into that role, it’s because I have to.”
I shake my head, half in awe, half in panic.
“Luc, this is massive,” I say, my breath hitching.
“I don’t even know what to say right now.
Yesterday, I was worried about having a panic attack at work because I didn’t feel like I could protect myself.
Today,” I gesture helplessly between us, “I find out I can shoot lightning and my boyfriend is a literal ruler of interstellar law.”
Xan snorts behind us, leaning against the kitchen counter. “Well, when you put it like that . . .”
“Not helping,” I snap.
Luc steps toward me, his shoulders drawn in, as if the weight of the moment presses down on him. “Cece, it’s not like I kept this from you because I didn’t trust you. I kept it from you because I knew the second you heard it, everything would change.”
He’s right about that. It already has.
“You said they’re preparing for war,” I say. “For me. Because I’m the key to something they want?”
Luc nods. “Yes. And if I don’t take my place on the Order, they’ll use every means necessary to get to you. Including tearing apart your world and everything between our worlds.”
I take a shaky breath. “And if you do take your place?”
“Then I’ll be in a position to protect you. To stop Aris. To slow this down, or end it, before it becomes something neither of us can survive.”
My mind is spinning. None of this feels real.
“And what about us?” I ask, wishing we were alone in this moment, that there was no audience for this conversation. “If you go back, if you become what they want, do I still get you?”
There’s a pause. Long and heavy.
Then he says, “You don’t get the version of me they want. You get me. All of it. The truth, the weight, the fight. And I’m not walking away from that. I’m not walking away from you.”
“So, will you be returning to Pomerium, Lucien?” Fazen asks, breaking the moment between Luc and me.
“I need to speak with Cece and Xan first,” Luc replies. “But thank you for your loyalty and for risking your life to bring this message. I will not forget it.”
Fazen gives him a respectful nod. “Cece, it’s been a pleasure seeing you again.” He turns to Xan, and the two exchange a nod and a faint smile.
Then Fazen makes his way to the door, and just before stepping through, he looks back at Luc. “I know you’ll do what’s right . . . for yourself, and for your beings . . . Gatekeeper.”
With that, the veil parts, and as quickly as it opened, it seals behind him.
Everything hits me at once, like my brain can’t keep up with the pace of what’s happening. It’s too much information, too fast, and I can feel myself starting to edge toward being entirely overwhelmed. I need a moment to process this.
“I’m going to get some air,” I say, casting a glance at Luc as I’m already walking toward the window.
The second I step onto the fire escape, the chilly night air hits me hard. I draw a sharp breath, letting the cold settle deep in my chest. It dulls the tangled mess of feelings stirring inside me. Behind me, I hear the window slide open wider.
Luc steps out, cautiously, and stops beside me.
His closeness sets my nerves on edge, makes me tighten my grip on the icy metal railing.
I keep my eyes fixed on the city lights stretching beyond the skyline, even as I feel his gaze settle on me, waiting, searching, unsure how to approach what neither of us wants to say.
“When will you leave?” I ask, still staring straight ahead. If I look at him now, I’ll break.
“I haven’t decided if I will. I don’t want to—”
“You know you have to,” I cut him off before he can finish, my voice flat. “You can’t abandon your people or pretend you’re not who you are. And I’m not saying that for me, because honestly, I’d love it if you didn’t go. But that’s not right, and you know it.”
I turn to face him. Our eyes lock.
His hand grips the railing tighter, knuckles pale. Then he looks down, his face hardening with resolve, and gives a slow nod. “I’ll ask Xan to stay with you while I’m gone,” he says. “He can protect you in my absence. I need to know you’re safe.”
“Okay.”
Then he turns fully toward me, his eyes intense. “It won’t be for long. I’ll come back.”
I face him, too.
“How, Luc? You’re needed there . . . for good.
This doesn’t feel like a ‘work from this realm’ kind of job you can do remotely,” I say with a half-laugh, but it’s hollow, my heart breaking behind the sound.
I want it to sound casual, maybe even sarcastic, but all it does is reveal the crack forming in my voice.
My heart feels like it’s unraveling in slow motion, right here on this fire escape.
Because I know what’s coming. And I hate that I understand it.
But Luc just shakes his head.
“No.” His voice is firm. “I’m not going back there and never seeing you again. That’s not happening.”
God. The way he says it, like it’s that simple. Like what we have can hold up against fate, against duty, against entire worlds pulling us apart.
He steps closer, and I don’t move. I can’t. “I know I have to go,” he continues. “I won’t run from that. But we’ll figure this out. Somehow.”
I want to believe him. I do. I want to fold myself into his conviction, let it carry me past the fear, past the inevitable loneliness. But part of me is bracing, already mourning something that hasn’t even ended yet.
“And I need you to promise me we will,” he says. “That we won’t let this be the end of . . . us.”
His eyes lock with mine, fierce yet pleading. He believes this. He’s holding onto it like it’s the only thing keeping him from fracturing, too.
I look up at him and press my lips to his. His mouth is warm, soft, and he smells like earth and clean skin.
As I pull away, I meet his eyes, deep ocean blue. I smile, and he smiles back, watching me closely, trying to read what I’m feeling. Because I want nothing more than to be with him. But I don’t know how this will work. And I won’t lie to him.
I head back into the living room with Luc close behind. Xan’s on the couch, the TV playing, but it’s obvious he’s just been waiting for us to come back. He wants to talk, wants to finish the conversation.
“You two make up out there?” he asks, that familiar smirk on his face, trying to cut the tension.
“We’re good, Xan,” I say, forcing a smile.
He gives me a look, one that says he doesn’t buy it for a second. “Uh-huh. Sure.” Then he turns to Luc. “We need to talk, Luc.”
“I’ll go,” Luc says without hesitation. “I’ll do what needs to be done. But this isn’t permanent. I’m not leaving her.” He looks straight at me as he says it.
Xan glances between us, his eyebrows tightening as he pieces things together. He’s holding something back, I can tell, but he knows where Luc’s lines are and doesn’t push. “Alright,” he says. “But we need a plan. You can’t just show up and expect them to welcome you with open arms.”
Luc’s eyes sharpen. “Do you think I’m an idiot, Xan?”
Xan doesn’t flinch. “No. But I do think you’re being reckless.
And I get it. Your head’s not on the mission right now; it’s on her.
” His eyes flick briefly to me, then back to Luc.
“But we both know that walking into something half-prepared is the quickest way to your own demise. We’ve lived by that.
Remember? We were raised to survive. To fight smart.
You know this is the biggest fight of your life. Start acting like it.”
I see the flash of anger on Luc’s face. His jaw tightens, his fists clench for a second, but then something shifts. His expression softens. He knows Xan’s right, even if he doesn’t want to hear it.
“I get it,” Luc says quietly. Then he looks up at Xan, focused now. “Let’s get to work.”
“First, you need to understand exactly what’s being said. The misinformation, the lies being spread about you. Then you shift the narrative,” Xan says.
“Not everyone will choose you over Aris, and that’s fine. Don’t waste your energy trying to convince everyone. Focus on the ones in the middle, the ones willing to listen. Tell them the truth. You already know who they are, Luc. Start with her.”
A flicker passes between the two of them, a look loaded with unspoken meaning. But what are they not saying?
Xan continues, his voice even. “Reach out to them one by one. Speak to what matters most to each of them. Show them why you’re the one worth following.”
Luc lowers his gaze in agreement. “I need to demystify Cece,” he says, looking at me. “Make her feel more human, less like a threat. Her abilities may be growing, but she’s still just a person. And the Order isn’t threatened by what we know, and certainly not by humans.”
“Exactly,” Xan replies, his eyes sharp with conviction.
He fixes Luc with a steady, serious look.
“Remember to stay calm, Luc. Play it smart. Don’t get defensive.
Be the leader they need. They want to believe you.
They respect your legacy. You’re a Darrag, for damn’s sake. Make them remember why that matters.”
Luc nods again, taking it all in.
Xan continues, “Talk about your fight against the Surgers. About Cece’s desire to be free from their grip.
If they see her as your partner, if they understand that her abilities, whatever they become, won’t be used against the beings of Imperium, but maybe even to help protect it, then we create a shared interest. Keeping her safe.
Keeping her alive. And keeping her with you. ”
Xan and Luc talk a bit more about the physical logistics of the plan, and I retreat into the bedroom, because as much as I want to hear the planning, it’s becoming too real. He’s leaving, and I’m still trying to come to terms with that.
A short while later, Luc steps into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.
He comes over and sits on the bed, runs a hand through his hair, then exhales like he’s trying to collect himself.
I can feel it. He’s already slipping into that part of him that shuts down emotions, that compartmentalizes everything to stay focused.
It’s how he survives. But I suppose this is also how he leaves.
I move toward him before I can second-guess it. “Luc.”
He looks at me, and for a moment, everything softens, his eyes, his posture, all of it. Just for me.
“How long?” I ask, not bothering to hide the tremble in my voice.
“I don’t know,” he says honestly. “Depends on how deep this goes.”
I nod, biting the inside of my cheek.
“And what if you don’t come back?” He flinches. A little. But I see it.
“I will.”
“You can’t promise that.”
“I’m not promising it. I’m telling you.”
Silence settles between us, thick with everything we’re not saying.
I should tell him how afraid I am. How much I hate this.
How every part of me wants to tell him to stay, even though I know he can’t.
Know he shouldn’t. But I won’t make him feel bad about going, because it is the right thing to do for his people.
“I know you need to go, but I wish you didn’t have to,” I whisper.
“I know,” he says, moving closer. “But if I don’t, this doesn’t end. And I need to end it, so we can have a future together.”
He reaches for my hand, and I let him take it. His grip is warm, solid, anchoring. For a moment, I just want to pull him into me and fall asleep in his arms, letting the world disappear.
“I’ll be back soon,” he says. “Xan will stay with you. And once I resolve this, once I know Aris can’t hurt you, I’ll come back. There’s no version of this where I don’t come back to you.”
He looks at me like the world is already settled, like there’s no question of what comes next. That quiet certainty in his eyes should comfort me. But all it does is make the ache sharper.
“Alright, Luc,” I say. My smile trembles. I try to be brave, try to hold his gaze like I’m not already falling apart inside.
Because the truth is, my heart is already his. It’s been his completely, long before I admitted it to myself. And no matter what happens next, how far he goes, how long he’s gone, distance won’t sever that thread. Time won’t dull it.
He leans in closer until our foreheads rest together, and just like that, his warmth settles me. Holds me in this moment, in this breath, in this goodbye I’m not ready to accept.
“I love you,” he says.
I freeze, my breath catching. My mind scrambles to make sure I heard him right. We’ve tiptoed around those words, never daring to actually say what’s been building between us.
But he just did.
I pull back just enough to take in his eyes. And what I find there knocks the air out of me. It’s his promise. His fear. His silent vow to fight for whatever this is between us.
He means it. Every word. And it means everything to me.
“I love you, too,” I whisper, the words catching in my throat.
He kisses me slowly, full of ache. And then he pulls away.
When I open my eyes, he’s gone, the veil already closing behind him.