28. Chapter 24
Chapter 24
Isabella
N ikolai and I play at the table for a while longer, and by the end of the night, we’d won enough money to run away to a private island three times over.
“Remind me to never bet against you in a game of poker.” He drawls as he leads me by the hand back out to his car.
“Don’t bet against me, period.” I say back with a cheeky smile.
As we reach the car, I get onto my tiptoes to plant a kiss on his cheek. The stubble on his jaw leaves a scratch, but I don’t care because I’m too distracted by my conversation with Stephanie. Her words swirl through my mind, conjuring a million questions I don’t know how to ask.
We stare into one another’s eyes, letting the moment press into us. The questions scratching around my mind pushing closer and closer to the tip of my tongue.
“Nikolai…” those intense green eyes find mine, and look so deep into my soul I feel like disappearing into him.
“Yes, princess?” he says with a crooked grin.
I suppress an annoyed smile just as my phone rings. We both look down at the noise and then at each other.
“Sorry.” I laugh, the word foreign to my mouth.
I check my phone. It’s my brother, Fredo. I immediately hang up, of course.
“He keeps calling.” I mutter.
“You can block him, you know.” says Nikolai, trying to catch my eyes as I stare at my phone screen.
“I know.” I whisper. He’s still family. There’s something inside me that just refuses to let go, even if it doesn’t make sense. It’s so frustrating when you know what the right thing to do is, but you don’t feel quite ready to do it.
Greyson lets us into the mansion, with Anton yapping at his heels. The moment Anton sees Nikolai, he leaps up into his arms.
“Looks like you have competition.” Mutters Greyson.
“Was that a joke, Greyson?”
“I must be sleep deprived.” He replies, deadpan, but there's a twinkle in his eye.
As we make our way to our room, we pass through one of the living rooms. Viktor and Adrienne are playing chess, while Aleksander talks to one of the lower ranking Bratva I vaguely recognise. He’s the one who came to The Blue Moon with Nikolai. I think his name is Boris?
Their eyes lock onto me as we walk into the room, sparking a surge of anger in my stomach. Everyone else sees Aleksander, but all I can see is the man who watched Nikolai get tortured. I narrow my eyes, whispering curses under my breath. He notices and his jaw tenses.
“You’re cheating!” Yells Viktor as Adrienne pushes him into a check.
“No, you’re losing. The others, they baby you. Not me.” Her thick French accent makes her sharp words even more cutting.
Viktor folds his arms and broods over the chessboard while Adrienne rolls her eyes and crosses her legs. “Hurry up. You can’t win.”
Greyson chuckles, which catches Adrienne’s attention. They lock eyes for a moment, and a little smile pulled at Adrienne’s lips. When I first arrived, I thought the two of them hated each other, but now I constantly catch them stealing glances at each other. Whenever I go to grab food from the kitchen, I find Greyson exclaiming he’s on his break. How many breaks can a guy have in an hour (yes, I make several midnight trips to the fridge, who doesn’t?)? We have a secret agreement that if I keep my mouth shut about their nighttime rendezvous, then Adrienne keeps the fridge stacked for me. As far as I know, they’re not together, they just spend half the night talking.
“Be nice to him.” Says Greyson.
“This is nice.” She throws her hands up. “If I let him win, he never learns.”
“You let him win.” Viktor growls at Adrienne, glancing up at Greyson.
Adrienne raises her eyebrows like a pissed off matriarch, urging Viktor into rushing his next move and swearing the moment he lets go of his queen piece.
“Checkmate.” She sticks her tongue out as Viktor stomps away in a huff.
The room erupts into laughter, but I notice Boris and Aleksander remaining tight-lipped. Aleksander whispers something to Boris as the laughter reaches its peak, who then scuttles away after Viktor. Alek shoots me a cool look before approaching us.
“I hear you met with Stephanie O’Shea.”
Are there any real secrets in this world? Everyone seems to know everything as soon as it happens.
“We didn’t meet her,” I snap a little too quickly. “It was a coincidence.”
Aleksander arches an eyebrow before looking over at Nikolai. “What did I tell you about controlling her?”
Right in front of me? Sometimes I wish I was a normal girl so I could be around men who at least pretend to hide their superiority complex.
“Alek, come on, you can’t handle a sharp tongue?” The words aren’t aggressive, but Nikolai’s tone is dripping with tension.
“How did it go?”
“It was good. She said she’d see me at your birthday party. Maybe I can sing and the two of you can watch. That’s what you’re good at, after all.”
“What’s that?” He asks, his narrowed eyes searching mine.
“Watching.” I hiss.
Nikolai pulls me into him by the waist.
“What exactly are you referring to?” Aleksander licks his lips, as if he wants me to say it.
The truth hovers on the tip of my tongue. That you tortured your friend, someone who trusted you. You watched and did fucking nothing and you deserve to feel guilty about it. You deserve more than dirty looks, you bastard.
I open my mouth and, as if she has a sixth sense for trouble, Adrienne calls over to us. “Pakhan! I need a good game. Play me, please.”
Every eyebrow in the room shoots up when she says please. Aleksander’s icy gaze slices into me one last time before he tears himself away. Nikolai shares a subtle look of thanks with Adrienne before whisking me out of the room.
Nikolai pulls me away with so much urgency I thought he might scoop me up and carry me away. The moment the door to our room closes behind us, he turns to me furiously.
“What the hell are you playing at? You can’t keep poking Alek like that. You might not respect him, but he’s the Pakhan. All it takes is for him to change his mind and we’re out on our own.”
“We’d be better on our own.” I snap, my back prickling up because I didn’t expect this kind of reaction. How can he ever take Alek’s side after what happened?
Nikolai closes the distance between us and takes both my hands in his, pulling me so close to him I can feel the heat of his body pulsing into mine.
“On our own, your father would come after us. I’m strong, but one man cannot defeat an army of killers who want him dead.”
I snatch my hands away from him, stepping back and letting some fire into my tongue. “So you just do as you’re told instead?”
“Do as I’m told?” Nikolai’s gaze darkens, and he straightens up, towering over me. “If I did as I was told, you’d be married to Callum O’Shea.”
We breathe into the silence in unison. I lick my dry lips; the anger and animalistic urges mixing in my blood. I want to scream at him, but I also want to sit on his face. Conflicting emotions are hard.
“It’s nothing.” I swallow down the emotions in my chest.
Nikolai squints at me. “Nothing?”
“Nothing.” I confirm, walking past him to the bathroom and shutting the door behind me.
I turn on the facet and splash my face with cold water. My phone buzzes in my pocket for the tenth time today.
“Isabella, tell me the truth.” The bass in Nikolai’s voice sent shivers into my soul. “Stop hiding from me.” He growls from the other side of the door.
“I’m not hiding from you.” I snap back, pulling out my phone and checking the text that had just come through.
FREDO: Iz, I’m trying to help you. Pick up my calls. You don’t know what’s going on. Dad is being a bastard, but the Russians aren’t your friends. Families fall out, but they always come back together.
There’s more to the text, but I can’t bring myself to read it. Every word feels like ash in my mouth. Ever since I was a kid, they’ve hurt me, abandoned me, and then, when I finally muster the courage to break away, they try to pull me back in. It’s too exhausting to handle, and the more time I spend away from my family home, the less compelled I feel to go back.
“Isabella?” Nikolai’s voice shatters the air and makes me jump.
I open the door just as he's about to start charging it down.
“What?”
“Tell me what’s going on.” He says, his voice lower but still firm.
“I just don’t like Aleksander. I’ll keep it to myself next time.”
I brush past him, but he snatches my forearm and spins me into him. He caresses my face softly, his green eyes scanning every inch of my soul.
“I know you’re upset, but if you don’t tell me why, I can’t help you.”
We breathe into the silence. I bite my tongue, the secrets Stephanie told me tiptoeing across the edge of my lips.
“It’s just my family. They’re trying to get control over me again. I know that’s what they’re doing, but a part of me still wants to go back.” It’s half-true. That upsets me, but it isn’t what caused the outburst downstairs.
Nikolai’s eyes soften as he pulls me into a warm, safe hug. His arms wrap around me and keep me in a cocoon I could stay in forever. He kisses my forehead gently as he pulls away.
“I understand. Remember, you’re not alone in this. I’m with you every step of the way. You’re mine, and if anyone wants to take you from me, they’ll have to kill me first.”
“What if I’m not strong enough?” I whisper. “What if I’m the one who leaves?”
Nikolai’s jaw tenses as he takes in a deep breath. His intense eyes lock onto mine, holding me still.
“Then you’ll be the one to kill me.”
Our hearts skip a beat, then I laugh, unable to accept that was anything other than a joke. Because, if it isn’t more than a joke, it’s terrifying.
“You’re so dramatic.” I force a smile.
Nikolai’s eyes stay on mine, his expression unmoved.
“I know what I want. I know my limits."
We hang in the silence together until I can’t bear it any longer. I draw back, slipping onto the bed and reaching for the kindle Adrienne had given me, so I have something to focus on that isn’t Nikolai.
Nikolai doesn’t push me. Instead, he gets himself ready for bed, changing into a long sleeve shirt to hide the scars etched across his body. I stare at my kindle, but every word I read won’t stick. I get to the bottom of pages only to realise I can’t remember a single word I’d read. My mind is too anxious, too active to settle on a distraction.
Nikolai flicks the lights off and slips into the makeshift duvet on the floor. We’ve been so intimate, it feels wrong not to have him with me in the bed.
So, I did what I’d done every night since we made our deal. I sat up in the pitch black of the night and I sang. That night, I chose a sad, soft lullaby. I sang into the silence of the room, wishing I could see Nikolai’s face.
Just like every night before it, when the song ends, his breathing changes. Every single night, Nikolai falls asleep at the end of my song. His soft, rhythmic breathing settles into the room and sends a calm safety into me. I might not have been in his arms, but just knowing he's here with me, let me find some peace.