33. Chapter 29
Chapter 29
Isabella
I tie my hair back and turn my head to the side, checking my profile in the mirror. Every hair is in its perfect place. With a careful touch, I take each piercing out and drop them into Camilla’s jewellery box.
Camilla’s singing floats through the house from downstairs, mixing in with Percy’s agitated voice as he argues with the landlord over the phone. They didn’t need to take me in, but they have, and I love them for it. They’ve always given me a home, even when I didn’t feel I deserved one.
They don’t force me to tell them what happened, they just support me as I glide through life like a ghost squeezing between the cracks of reality. I stay in a daze, unable to even think of his face. To think of what I’ve done. Of the feelings swelling in my chest every night while I fight back tears and stare into the void of darkness.
It doesn’t feel real. It can’t be real. I’ll wake up one day and find Nikolai resisting a grin as he looks at me. I’ll find his sweet embrace and let my troubles melt into him. It’s just a nightmare.
It’s a nightmare that won’t end. Even wishing he was here with me feels like a betrayal of self. Everything about him screamed trouble, and I still trusted him. When reality threatened me, I kept my mouth shut, under the false-pretense that not speaking my fears aloud would let me stay in my tortured obsession. Look where ignoring the bright red flags has gotten me.
Is he dead?
I pulled the trigger. I didn't think. The De Rossi blood took over. He drove me crazy, and I couldn’t stand it.
Even if he is alive, he’ll never want to see me again. Who would ever want the crazy girl that shot you in the heart and walked away? The girl who left her fiance for a man she barely knew? The girl who left her family? Who will ever want me after this?
The day of Aleksander’s birthday celebration.
The day of the Opera.
I walk familiar streets, turning corners I’ve passed a thousand times. I break through the crowd, floating in my trance state. Men in suits whisper into gorgeous women’s ears, who throw their heads back in practised laughter. Everyone seems to be in a couple. Everywhere I look, hands are being held, waists being touched, and lips being kissed.
I find my way through the crowd, nodding to the familiar faces.
Then I find them.
My family.
Fredo sees me first. A smile of relief spreads across his face. My mama gasps, as she always seems to do when I do anything but fade into the background. My sister jumps for joy, rushing over to me and embracing me in a hug I cherish.
My father finds my eyes. For once, I hold his gaze. He doesn’t speak to me, he just nods, turning back to his men and cracking a joke I don’t want to hear.
Fredo places his hand on my shoulder softly. “Glad you’re back, Iz. It’s the right decision. You’ll be a better person with your family to guide you.”
My sister squeezes my hand as we walk into the opera together. I’m with my family, yet I feel so alone.