Chapter 30
Razik
“Where did you put your bowl?”
Razik glanced up from the book he was paging through. He sat at his desk, while Kailia was across the room in another area of his study. Barefoot, her knees were bent, and a book of her own was propped against them.
“That is very random,” Razik said, returning his attention to the book. It was written in the Celestial language, which was a pain in the ass to translate.
“Sort of,” she admitted. “But after the conversation about the tavern brawl with Cethin—”
“The one you weren’t supposed to mention,” he interrupted, half listening to her as he worked on translating a word.
“Yes, that one,” she continued. “It reminded me you went there for a bowl, and I haven’t seen it since. I’ve been in this study a lot recently, which leads me to believe you keep it elsewhere.”
“I like you a lot more when you’re quietly observing and trying to go unnoticed,” he muttered, making a note on a piece of parchment.
“It wasn’t small. I think I’d have seen it if it were here,” she mused. “Is it in your rooms downstairs?”
He sighed, setting down his charcoal and leaning back in his chair. “By Sargon, Lia. You’re especially annoying today. You never talk this much.”
She appeared to contemplate that for a minute before she said with a frown, “You’re right. I don’t.”
“Then what’s so different today?”
“I don’t know,” she murmured, almost more to herself than to him. Her gaze connected with his once more. “It is strange.”
“Save it for Cethin,” Razik grumbled, picking up his charcoal and leaning over his book once more. “He’d love to hear you talk more.”
“I have been,” she replied. “Talking to him, I mean. Or he’s been around more?”
By the Fates.
Razik put the charcoal back down and rubbed at his brow with his thumb and forefinger as he reminded himself he needed this. Needed her to trust him. That her wanting to casually converse was a good thing. That this was exactly what Tybalt had put him in this position for.
“Why does your face look like that?” Kailia asked when he lifted his head to meet her stare once more.
He sighed. “That’s a rude question, Lia.”
She frowned. “Oh.” Then she added, “You excel at being rude.”
“Yes, but it’s not a good look for a queen.”
“No one else is here.”
He inhaled deeply, swallowing his growing impatience. “I’m glad to see Cethin has finally figured out you are getting lonely.”
Those words had her straightening, the book falling closed and forgotten. With a frown, she said, “I prefer solitude.”
“Me too, yet here we are,” he muttered.
She sent him a bland look.
“Despite that, even those of us who prefer solitude tend to have one or two people we don’t entirely hate being around,” he went on, ignoring her displeasure. “You constantly tell Cethin he’s never around.”
“Because he’s not.”
“And that bothers you.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
It was his turn to send her a frank look. “It does, or you wouldn’t bring it up all the time. I’m not saying I understand it, but I’m calling it like I see it.”
“Well, you’re wrong.”
“Rarely,” he muttered.
“And as arrogant as he is,” she tacked on.
That had him grinding his molars, and they both fell silent, the tension in the room thick.
He wasn’t about to be the one to break it, so he went back to the book.
The book wasn’t about Ash Riders, but about curses and enchantments.
He was hoping to find something regarding stifling a certain part of one’s power.
It made no sense that only one piece of her magic was being affected. Why not all of it?
“When’s the last time you tried to move through your ashes?” he asked after a good solid hour had ticked by of both of them studiously ignoring the other.
Kailia lifted her head, a weird look of suspicion on her face. “Why?”
“Maybe it was a fluke,” he said with a shrug. “If you haven’t tried in a while—”
“It wasn’t a fluke, Raz,” she interrupted, her jaw tight and tone harsh. “If you couldn’t shift into your beast form, you’d know in your soul something was wrong.”
Fair point.
He rubbed at his jaw. “Recently then?”
“The last time I attempted it was in my dreams, and even there, it failed.”
His hand dropped to the desk. “Even in your dreams your power isn’t working?”
She nodded. “I haven’t tried outside my dreams since the attack in Shira Forest. I don’t know where I will be pulled to.
Or if I will be able to get back…” She trailed off, before adding, “Do you know what it is like not to be able to trust yourself? When you’re the only one you’ve been able to rely on for so long? ”
There was a faint tremble in her voice, and shit.
This was an emotion he’d yet to see from her.
And that was the thing. He actually understood why she was becoming more conversational around him.
She was becoming comfortable. Wren had been the same.
Quiet for a long time until she became comfortable enough around him to be a pain in his ass.
It was what he needed from Kailia, yes, but he hadn’t planned on adding to the number of people he cared about because that was exactly what was happening.
He hadn’t been lying to appease her when he said she was more than a job; he just hadn’t wanted to admit as much to himself.
Sure, he was a broody dick, but he actually liked that about himself.
It kept others at arm’s length, and yet somehow, this tiny, stabby thing was here. In his study. Talking.
“Lia,” he sighed, closing the book and pushing it aside. “I need more than a few days, but as much as I hate to say this, I think we should loop Cethin in on—”
“No,” she interjected. “He can’t know.”
“Okay. What about Tybalt?” he ventured.
“The Commander does not like me.”
“Even if that’s valid, you are still his queen. He takes his duties seriously,” Razik replied, unable to hide the hint of bitterness.
She was quiet for a few seconds before she said, “I would prefer no one else know.”
He knew it was a terrible idea, but he also knew that insisting on this would only end with her putting her defenses back in place.
“Fine,” he said flatly.
“That upsets you,” she noted, and he could feel her watching him. Because that’s what she did. Watched and observed and analyzed.
“It’s fine. You’re the queen, but beyond that, I’m not going to make you do anything.”
She nodded, setting her book aside. Twisting so her feet were now on the floor, she smoothed her hands along her thighs to her knees. Once. Twice. Three times.
“What is it, Lia?” he asked
“The Union Celebration is a week away.”
“I know.”
“And there will be dancing.”
“I know that as well.”
“And I don’t…”
Understanding dawning, he said, “You don’t know how to dance.”
“I assume I will be expected to. Dance, I mean.”
“With Cethin for sure,” Razik affirmed. “But also with others.” She visibly winced. “You need to have a conversation with Cethin about that.”
“I’ll do it. It’s part of my role now.”
“That role also includes not stabbing random people,” he deadpanned.
“Right,” she murmured, hands smoothing along her thighs again.
Pushing away from his desk, he stood, sending a message off in a swirl of black flames. “Let’s go.”
She stood too, looking perplexed. “Go where?”
He didn’t answer though. He only reached for her, letting her place her hand in his, before Traveling them out of the study.
He’d taken them to a place in the city where the younglings came for dance instruction.
Fortunately, they were currently at their academic lessons, and the rehearsals for the adult performers took place earlier in the day, leaving the small studio open.
He’d offered the madam a good amount of coin to let them use the place privately until her next class in three hours.
Then, he’d offered her even more to stay and play the piano for them as well as to buy her silence.
It was Cethin’s funds anyway, so he wasn’t out anything.
It took a while for Wren to meet them, but she was here now, giving Kailia a warm smile and hello. Unfortunately, Bram was with her.
“Can I talk to you, Greybane?” the male asked.
“What?” Razik asked, stepping into his line of sight when his gaze lingered on Wren.
Bram refocused, squaring his shoulders. “Ariadne and I have been monitoring the southwest near Shira Forest. The rumors are true about the creatures of old waking.”
“Have there been sightings?”
“Not yet, but all the signs are there. That and…” He swiped a hand over his short black hair. “There are whisperings the same is starting near Shadowfen and Everfall.”
“Fuck,” Razik muttered. “The Commander knows?”
“Of course,” Bram said. “But he’s holding off on telling the king. I don’t know. Just feels like this is something Cethin should be aware of.”
“So you’re skirting around command?” Razik asked, arching a brow.
The warrior paled slightly, knowing that if his insubordination was reported to Tybalt, it was grounds for punishment, perhaps even dismissal from the Cadre all together. But the male lifted his chin, voice firm with conviction when he said, “My loyalty is to the king, not the Commander.”
“Then why are you coming to me?” Razik asked.
Bram’s brows knitted together. “Because you see Cethin every day, and it will be easier for you to find a moment to speak privately than it will be for me.”
Razik said nothing, but he finally gave the male a sharp nod. It wasn’t a promise he’d do anything with the information—that wasn’t his place—but it was an acknowledgement nonetheless.
Bram nodded in return, but then he hesitated. “About Wren—”
“Leave,” Razik snarled.
The male rolled his eyes, but he turned and left, and Razik returned his attention to the females.