Chapter 37 Kailia #2
She glanced at Razik to find his gaze still locked on his uncle, something she didn’t understand passing between them.
Then she turned her head to look at Cethin.
He wasn’t looking at her; instead, his eyes were sliding slowly around the table, giving each person a chance to speak.
He looked intimidating, but somehow open to their commentary.
As though he’d be willing to discuss it, but no one was changing his mind.
And here she was, once again wondering what had changed. What had happened that he was suddenly willing to allow her this position fully? Not in title only, but as his equal. His partner.
Sole ruler if something happened to him.
No one spoke until he got to Corveth, the young lord lacing his fingers and placing them on the table before him.
“As I’ve said from the start of this conversation, I’ve witnessed her risk herself for others in my very own city.
There was no hesitation. Only action and selflessness.
If that doesn’t speak to what a queen should be, then I don’t know what does.
I am honored to vote yes on this matter. ”
Kailia felt her cheeks heat, gaze dropping to the table before she remembered to keep her chin up. Shoulders back. Spine straight.
One by one, the other advisors agreed until the last one to vote was Commander Greybane. She could swear Razik wasn’t even breathing next to her, and she couldn’t work out why. It also wasn’t her main focus as she met the Commander’s gaze.
As it always was when he interacted with her, everything about him was harsh and cold. A muscle in his jaw ticked, and he ground his molars.
“Razik spends his days with her,” the Commander finally said. “If he is in agreement to this, then his vote will count as mine.”
Razik wouldn’t look at her as he replied, “I haven’t been present for the previous discussions. Without that knowledge, I think it would be wise for you to cast your own vote, Commander.”
“Again, you spend your days with her, Razik,” Tybalt answered. “If you feel she is ready for this responsibility and doesn’t pose a risk to our kingdom and everything that has been built over the centuries, then cast your vote on my behalf.”
This was cruel. Even she recognized that. To put his nephew in such a position. But was that why he’d been appointed her guard to begin with? To spy on her and report back to his uncle?
It shouldn’t surprise her, really. In fact, she’d suspected as much in the beginning.
It was smart, especially considering how reckless Cethin had been with all of this.
Just like she’d become comfortable with Cethin, the same had happened with Razik, and maybe she’d forgotten they each had roles to play in all this.
“Razik,” Cethin said after seconds of tense silence ticked by. “Do you have any concerns, or are you prepared to vote?”
For the first time since she’d known him, the male faltered. He glanced at his uncle again, clearly unsure what he was supposed to do. Was this a test for him? More than that, if he was hesitating, why? What had she done to give him pause?
Razik cleared his throat, shifting in his chair. “I will trust any concerns were already thoroughly discussed and alleviated, and as such, I’ll trust the opinions of this council who have all unanimously voted yes and cast my vote the same.”
She couldn’t gauge the look on the Commander’s face as his eyes slid from his nephew to her, but she held his stare until he looked away first. Cethin said some other things that she really should have been paying attention to, but all she could think was that she’d done it.
She was queen in more than title. The very thing she’d wanted, and yet something in her stomach twisted uncomfortably.
Bringing her eyes to Cethin, she found him already looking at her. Faint wisps of his power flitted in his silver eyes, and he reached for her hand, lifting it to press his lips to her knuckles.
The crowns. The finer clothing. The formalities.
All of it for her.
Did he even realize he’d laid his kingdom at her feet?
A sigh of relief escaped her when she made it to the beach without being seen.
It was hot. Muggy and humid. The moment she stepped from the enchanted Cliff’s entrance, her dress was clinging to her. Plucking at it, all she could think about was how she’d prefer the never-ending cold of Pyry over this.
The brand beneath her skin was glowing softly, and she checked her forearm again to make sure the Mark was still there. A reassurance she still needed after all this time.
Even if this was a dream though, she still needed to get moving. They’d still find her, but if she made it to the trees, she could pick them off one by one with her arrows.
She started walking, bare feet sinking into the sand, but then she paused when she saw him. Moonlight glinting off silver hair. Hands in his pockets as he stared out at the sea. He was finding her in her dreams more and more as of late.
She hesitated another moment before she changed course and headed towards him instead of the trees.
She told herself it was to bring him with her, like she had that time inside the Cliffs, but she knew better.
Knew it was more. These moments were almost sacred, her dreams a place to explore and share secrets she could never reveal otherwise.
He must have heard her coming, but he didn’t show it.
Didn’t move or shift as she approached. Not until she lifted a hand and tentatively ran it down his broad back, the muscles flexing beneath her fingers as he turned.
Her breath seized and her belly dipped at the way he looked at her.
As if these moments were cherished, but she was what he treasured.
No one had ever looked at her like that.
This wasn’t because of her magic or her abilities.
He looked at her as if he understood her down to her core, which was impossible in reality, but here…
Here she could pretend. Here she could act on desires, and no one had to know.
She frowned when she realized she was disappointed at the thought.
“You’re beautiful, wife,” Cethin said, hands still in his pockets.
“We need to get off the beach,” she replied, glancing over her shoulder at the Cliffs.
“You fear them still?” he asked, following her gaze. “Despite being free of them?”
Pulling her bow over her head, she tightened her fingers around the grip. The feel of it in her hand a comfort she’d come to rely on.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be free of them if they still haunt my dreams,” she admitted.
“If you could return to have vengeance, would you?”
“This is not the time for pointless conversations, Cethin,” she answered. “We need to get into the cover of the trees.”
But he turned back to the water instead. “I’ve always preferred the waves. Something I got from my father.”
“The waves cannot hide you,” she insisted, itching to grab his arm and tug him to the dense foliage behind them.
“Oh, but they can if you know how to listen to them,” he answered, something mournful and melancholy lingering in his tone.
Finally resigning herself to the fact she wasn’t going to convince him to leave the shore, she repositioned so she could see the Cliffs, nocking an arrow just in case.
Cethin noted the movement, a scowl forming on his perfect lips. “I hate that your past still haunts you.”
“I find the past to be as determined as the phantoms that hunt you,” she replied. “It haunts every chance it gets.”
“That it does,” he murmured, and to her chagrin, he lowered to the sand. “Sit, wife.”
She bristled. “That isn’t wise here.”
“We can hide from the rest of the world. Just for a moment,” he countered, resting his arms atop his bent knees.
“I don’t like the beach. Or the sand. Or the heat,” she blurted, feeling the grains of sand between her toes.
“Understandably so,” he replied. “I prefer to be out on the water.”
She shifted again before finally lowering to her knees and sitting back on her heels, still able to see the Cliffs.
Cethin was quiet, and for some reason, she found herself saying, “You made me a queen today.”
The words were quiet, barely audible over the sound of the rolling waves.
He turned his head to look at her. “Did I?”
“I don’t know why.”
“You’re my wife. Why wouldn’t I make you queen?”
“You said you wouldn’t,” she answered. “And why would you when you don’t even know me?”
“Perhaps I know you better than you think.”
“I don’t think—”
But she was cut off as a blade protruded through his chest. His eyes went wide, mouth gaping and blood dripping from the corner.
“Cethin!” she cried, scrambling to her feet. Her arrow was aimed in the next breath as she met grey eyes swirling with ashes and smoke.
“Do not fail us now, sister.”
“Kailia. Kailia, wake up.”
She jolted upright, her heart racing and hands trembling as she shoved at the blankets to see her forearm. No Mark. Not a dream. Real, real, real.
Her gaze snapped to Cethin. The room was dark, but she could still make out his figure. He’d been leaning over her, but he’d shifted back when she’d woken. His chest was bare, and his hands were at his sides as he searched her face.
Swiping at stray pieces of hair with her fingers, she took him in. No blade in his chest. No blood at his mouth. Breathing. Looking at her the same way he’d done in her dream.
Real, real, real.
“Kailia,” he said, her name so godsdamn gentle and tender that it had tears burning at the backs of her eyes. He shouldn’t be looking at her like that. Shouldn’t be saying her name like that. Not outside her dreams, where her secrets were still shrouded in smoke and ashes.
“It was nothing,” she said, her voice surprisingly steady for how erratically her heart was still beating. “Just a nightmare.”
“Tell me about it,” he urged, leaning closer.
“I… It was only my past determined to haunt me.”