Chapter 10
Dove
Kasen’s hand slides down my thigh, and a trail of goosebumps follow.
I hate this man with everything inside of me.
But as much as I know I should pull away from him, I don’t.
His feather-light touch lights me up inside and has me desperate for more.
“Get your hands off me, Kasen,” I mummer sleepily, even though I haven’t moved away from him.
Really, I want it rougher, his fingertips to burn into my skin with every touch.
I want them to leave marks so that days after I can remember what it felt like to have his hands on me.
If Kasen hears me, he ignores my request and instead slides his fingers up higher, brushing under the hem of my sleep shorts, and my body ignites with glowing heat.
His lips dust over my earlobe. “Why are you hiding from me, birdie?” he asks, his voice not as demanding as it usually is.
He’s half asleep as well. Maybe this is how we should communicate from now on, it’s probably the only way we can be nice to each other.
“I’m right here,” I whisper. We’re sharing the same goddamn bed, what is he on about.
He rubs his hand over my ass then up and over my hip and through the thin strip of pubic hair before he pushes between my legs, sliding through my juices, rougher this time, and I shiver.
I’m so wet for him when I shouldn’t be, but being this close to him after so long, sleeping with his scent all over the sheets around me and his warm body pressed close into mine, is messing with my head, blurring lines.
I shouldn’t let it. And when he pushes two thick fingers deep inside of me, I moan into the room like the needy slut I am.
I hate this man with everything inside of me.
How can I let him touch me like I want my body to be his?
I should be disgusted, appalled with myself.
Instead, I open my legs, giving him better access to my core.
I still want him to fuck me. Want him to take control of my body and do dirty, filthy things with me.
So much so I push my ass back into him, a self-satisfied smile crossing my lips with the way his hard cock digs into me.
I want him to fill me up. Make me scream in the best way possible like I know he could.
Hurt me just enough, so I know I’m alive.
I’m fucked up like that. I blame Talon. But once you know how it feels, there is no going back. I need the pain to really get off.
“More, K, I need more.” I beg. It’s pathetic. A schoolgirl fantasy about a boy I had no business having any interest in, yet here I am ten years later, still hung up on him. Even after everything he’s done to me.
His chuckle is light and playful and dances over my skin with his proximity. “Not until I’m ready, birdie. I’m having way too much fun toying with you.” He pumps his fingers in and out of me, a delicious kind of torture that sends me wild.
“Asshole,” I seethe back, rubbing my ass on his cock just to tease him like he is me. I should pull the covers back and get the hell out of his bed. I should tell him to fuck off and run like the wind, tell him that I don’t need him or want him in any way. But I can’t.
His thumb circles my clit, sending a fresh wave of pleasure right the way through me. God, he knows just what I like, the exact pressure to apply to have me melting, whimpering, begging.
My hand moves up my body, cupping my tit, and I roll my fingers over my hardened nipple, needing more if he won’t give it to me.
I’m so wound up, so on edge already the combination of him playing with me and my own rough movements is about to see me tumble over the edge at an embarrassingly fast rate.
It hasn’t been that long since I was with a man, but I have never been with someone like Kasen before, someone who lights me up inside.
The only other sex I’ve had was work or therapy.
I don’t trust Kasen, but I do want him with everything in my soul.
I could fuck him, let him give me what I need, then walk away like it was nothing.
It would be easy to do at this point with all the hurt he’s caused me, let him scratch that itch for me.
That’s all it would be. “Kasen,” I warn him when he’s worked me into such a frenzy I can’t see straight.
“Cum for me, birdie, I need to hear your sweet moans as I send you over the edge.”
But when I roll over, it’s not him at all, it’s River smirking down at me, his wavy mop of hair covering his eyes just enough that it gives off mysterious vibes. “Fuck, Riv, don’t stop.”
I grab his cock in my hand, palming him as he keeps pumping his fingers inside of me. He’s long and thick, just how I knew he would be.
Then there is another set of hands on me, running up and over my ass. “Fuck, you got hot, sunshine,” Bodhi growls from behind me as he sinks his teeth into my shoulder.
“Yes, Bodhi, make it hurt,” I whimper. The man is a demon, and I’m here for it.
Their hands are everywhere, toying with my nipples, playing with my clit, fingering my pussy. Giving me just what I need. “Fuck me, please,” I beg when I’m so desperate I can’t stand it anymore.
River’s chuckle vibrates through the room. “So needy for us, baby.”
They move me so I’m completely sandwiched between them.
I’m not sure how many fingers are inside of me, the two of them stretching my pussy so deliciously.
That’s it for me, I’m tumbling over the edge so fast I couldn’t stop myself if I wanted to.
My body clenches and throbs, my pussy so damn wet as my orgasm takes over.
“Fuck,” I moan as I thrust into their fingers, greedy for more.
For the first time in so long I feel alive, like really alive.
And so wet, my pulsing pussy dripping round my fingers.
My fingers? What the fuck.
I bolt upright, trying to catch my breath as I scan my surroundings.
What the fuck was that shit. I glance over at his side of the bed, but Kasen’s not even there, and neither are River or Bodhi.
His room is empty, it’s just me and his stupid oversized bed.
My heart is hammering so damn fast I can’t calm the hell down.
That was just a dream. A fucking messed-up fantasy. With the three of them. Oh, dear God, what is wrong with me. I want to slap my subconscious for being so needy she just lets anyone screw around with her while she’s asleep.
You’re safe, Dove, you didn’t just let the men you hate finger-fuck you because you were horny.
But even the idea of me getting off to them in a dream is mortifying after the way they have treated me since I got back.
And the dampness between my legs and pooling on the sheets tells me I totally just got off to the idea of the three of them.
It was just my fingers doing the work, not theirs.
Sweat trickles down my back and heat radiates off my skin at an alarming rate.
I’m blaming it on the meds I keep taking, it has to be them.
And this stupid summer heat. Mixing painkillers with alcohol last night was a terrible idea.
Messes with my normally in-control head.
I slump back into his bed with an exhausted groan, my hands tangling into his plush sheets.
My body aches all over, but it’s my head that’s giving me the worst trouble.
I can’t think straight around these boys.
Letting Bodhi kiss me was dangerous, letting River kiss me was all kinds of stupid, but me kissing Kasen, that was just plain fucked up.
What is wrong with me? Like really, what on earth am I thinking with this shit.
Not that Bodhi gave me any choice, that man was taking what he wanted with or without my permission.
But I’m the one in charge of my desires in every way.
I know my body inside and out, what I like, what I don’t, and until now, it’s served me well.
I do not let men hold that kind of power over me.
That shit is just dangerous, and I have seen lots of girls fall victim to lust, even love that goes wrong and crushes them when it all falls apart.
I’m in this town for answers and revenge on whomever it was that turned my world upside down, that’s it.
I won’t let myself be caught up in crushes from the past just because they now look like walking wet dreams. Or literally are my walking wet dreams. They betrayed me, and they would do it again.
And I know better than to fuck myself over for a little cock.
Or I’m sure big cocks, but either way, it’s not worth the hassle from the men they’re attached to.
When I have finished throwing myself a pity party, I toss my legs over the side of his bed and get up. Kasen hasn’t come back looking for me, so I’m going to take this opportunity to do some snooping through his stuff. If he has a problem with that, he shouldn’t have left me in his bedroom alone.
I’m actually surprised he did. Yesterday he was following me round demanding answers.
He wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom without him waiting for me outside the door.
It was over the top, but that’s Kasen. The more I gave him the silent treatment, the crazier he got about it.
Bet it’s not often he can’t manipulate the answers he wants out of someone.
But I won in the end, he had his cook make me a three-course dinner that I ate in silence because I’m childish like that.
He wants to lock me up and demand shit from me, that’s what he gets.
With a quick glance over my shoulder, I open the door to his walk-in closet; his clothes are all neatly hung and folded.
I guess I expected that. He likes to give the illusion that he’s in control of everything, but I can see the truth.
That man is more mentally unstable than I am.
He just hides it better behind expensive suits and a cunning smile.
Most of his clothes are dark suits, either in navy or charcoal.
Designer too, only the best for a Throne, after all.
I catch myself inhaling deeply. His scent hangs heavily in the air in here.
It’s an intoxicating blend of aftershave and something distinctly him.
Danger? I’m not sure, but I know it’s dangerous to me, and I need to get out of here.
I move back into his room and pop open his bedside table, emptying out the contents one by one.
A massive bottle of lube and a heap of condoms are the first things I find.
What on earth? So, he gets lucky on the regular or hopes to, I guess.
I’m not really surprised, a man like him gives off big dick energy.
He knows he’s got something you want to try, and I’m sure the women of this town swoon over him.
He would be very popular and get off on the extra bit of power that gives him.
He’s King Kasen in every way, I’m sure. The bottle of sleeping pills pulls my attention.
They are good stuff too, the ones Talon prescribed me when I was losing my mind from terrible insomnia after my dad died.
An interesting fact about a man who likes to pride himself on being in control—he doesn’t sleep.
I guess there is something even Kasen Throne can’t control. Well, that and me.
There is also a nice-looking switchblade, blue handle with an inscription down one side that reads Throne.
That I grab for myself. If he doesn’t want to help me out with a weapon, he shouldn’t have left this one just lying around.
When I pick it up, a Polaroid stares back at me.
It sends instant sickness to the pit of my stomach.
It’s one of the two of us, a night I went rogue and he took me out on his motorcycle.
My parents would have killed me if they knew, but I was good at sneaking around and did it way more than I should have for these boys.
But this night was different, it was just the two of us.
I thought he was going to kiss me that night.
Wished for it, but he never did. I took the photo with my new camera, not really thinking it would be significant, but this was the last night the two of us were alone together.
The last time I trusted him with my heart.
I thought I was someone special to him. Stupid teenage me.
Why would he have this photo still after all this time?
I’m sure that night meant nothing to him, especially with how fast he was going to discard me not too long after.
With a shaky hand, I shut up the drawer. Maybe snooping through his shit wasn’t the best idea, I now feel sick. I need to get out of his space. I take my knife and check his door to find it’s unlocked, so I head back over the hall to my own room and stash it inside my pillowcase for later.
I need a shower to clear the stupid Kasen fog that’s settled in there.
Then I’ll work on how to escape this place before I have to answer any of his questions.
That overbearing asshole has another thing coming if he thinks I’m just going to be some yes girl for him.
Fuck no. I have a brain, and I’m going to use it before I get too wrapped up in this world.
These boys are my past, and I might not know what my future is yet, but one thing is for sure: it doesn’t involve any of them.
My only focus should be getting the answers I need.