Chapter 29 #3
“Be real, birdie, he wants you dead. Maybe it has something to do with what you saw the night your mum was murdered. What happened to you after I left?”
I roll my lips, feeling sick all over again. “I don’t know.”
“Stop being difficult and just tell me. Who killed her? You were there, you must have seen something.”
I run a shaky hand through my hair, trying with all I have to remember anything that could help, but I’ve got nothing.
It’s all a blur. “I’m telling you the truth.
I have no memory of who shot her. My therapist thinks I blocked out the trauma.
Honestly, I thought coming back might trigger my memory, giving me some insight, but I can’t get there. ”
“Shit, Dove.” He rakes a hand through his hair, frustrated with me, I think.
“I always thought it was Keller,” I whisper, the words almost getting stuck in my throat. “I thought they hated each other. But I’m not sure about anything anymore.”
His hand comes to mine, giving it a squeeze. “I can assure you he wouldn’t have killed your mum.”
I blink back at him. It’s strange that his hand in mine feels so natural when I hate him so much.
I know deep down it’s because I don’t hate him at all.
He broke my heart, discarding me, siding with his dad over me, but deep down, I never stopped loving this man, flaws and all.
“Why, what do you know?” My voice is almost a whisper.
This is a conversation we should have had a long time ago, but going back to that night with Kasen is hard because it opens up old wounds.
Maybe that’s what I need at this point, though. The truth might help jog my memories.
“You saw the photos, you know they had something going on.”
“That’s what it looked like, but I don’t really know what. Do you?” My eyes lock with his, hoping he can have the decency to be honest with me over this. “Please, K, if you know anything, you have to tell me.”
“I know Keller was in love with your mum. It’s why my mum left us.”
I stare back at him, my pulse all of a sudden racing.
In love? I can’t find words to respond to that.
I’m shocked that he’s actually talking to me about them, even more shocked that he admitted what he knows, but that reality…
how do you process that? She was cheating on my dad and lying to us all, and his poor mother left her whole family because of it. “How do you know?”
“It was going on for a long time, Dove.”
Tears well in my eyes. “You guys all knew and kept it from me?”
He leans in closer, trying to pull me into his chest. “I wish I could have told you, but it wasn’t my secret to tell, birdie.” His arm wraps around me, holding me against him.
I know I shouldn’t, but I breathe him in, his warm comfort transporting me back in time.
He lost as much out of their betrayal as I did.
For a second, I let him soothe me. But I know I can’t really stay here in his arms, even if it feels like where I should be.
Him admitting he knew the truth and kept it from me hits where it hurts, because I know he did it for his dad, for the family.
They will always come first and me second.
I push him off, needing space. “You could have told me the truth but you chose not to. I get it, you were protecting your dad, and maybe my mum as well, but you know what, Kasen? That only proves to me what I have known for a while now. It doesn’t matter if you say I’m yours, Throne will always come first, and that’s why this” —I motion between him and me— “will never be a thing.”
His gaze locks with mine, a wounded expression etching its way into his features. “The sooner you realize I’m not the bad guy here and there is a real threat out there, the safer you will be,” he mutters almost to himself.
And I know he’s right. He doesn’t really want to hurt me like this psycho clearly does.
Maybe I need to stop fighting him on everything, when most of the time I really do believe he’s trying to help me because he thinks I’m in danger.
He just has a stupid way of going about it all.
But he has to know I can’t trust a man who has kept so much shit from me over the years.
And as sad as that reality is, trust is the foundation of everything.
“I believe you’re trying to help me. But Kasen, I’m not yours to protect. ”
He shakes his head. “You are, and the sooner you give into it, the better for us all.”
He’s infuriating. So damn stubborn, I don’t know how to get around it. He just won’t listen to me. With one last glance up at him, I shove past him, heading for my walk-in robe.
“Get dressed in something nice. Don’t forget you’re joining me at the office,” he calls in my direction, his bossy-as-fuck tone back.
My fists ball at my sides. Fuck him. I want to scream and cry and yell at the top of my lungs.
My whole body is trembling with frustration.
He’s making my life impossible, but I’m not going to just sit here and let him.
I will bide my time, keep searching for clues.
These boys will slip up sometime, and when they do, I’m out of here.