Chapter 19 Natalie
Chapter nineteen
Natalie
"If one more hockey player leaves a beer can in my yard, I'm banning the entire Nashville Outlaws from future parties," I announce.
Dex pauses halfway into Mason's truck.
"First of all," he says, "rude."
"Second of all," Bobby adds from the passenger seat, "this was an elite event."
"You knocked over two chairs and tried to body check a Poodle," I say.
"Daisy started it," he replies.
From the porch Maddie yells, "Bye Dex!"
"Bye future superstar," Dex calls back.
He points at me.
"Great party, Shelly. Same time next week."
"Party's over," Gabriel says from behind me. "And this is not becoming a weekly thing."
Dex grins and slams the truck door.
Bryce leans out the passenger window of his own truck and points at Gabriel. "You host one backyard party and now it's tradition."
"No it isn't," Gabriel says.
Annabelle lowers her window from the other side. "You say that now."
"He's right," Dex shouts through the open truck door. "You've accidentally turned this place into the neighborhood hockey frat house with kids."
Mason starts his engine. "Get in before I leave you here."
"Rude," Dex says again.
Maddie waves both arms from the porch. "Bye!"
Three kids in the backseat of another SUV yell goodbye at the same time. Daisy lifts her head from the grass, decides no one is worth chasing, and drops it back down.
The engines start. Tires crunch on gravel. One by one the cars pull away.
The backyard finally goes quiet.
Well. Quieter.
The speaker is off but I can still hear the echo of laughter in my head.
Daisy is sprawled across the grass like she personally hosted the event.
Two empty pizza boxes sit on the patio table.
Someone left a plastic hockey stick leaning against the fence.
A paper plate is somehow hanging out of one of the shrubs.
Gabriel starts stacking chairs.
He looks tired.
Happy, but tired.
And that does something strange to my heart too.
"That was fun," Maddie announces.
"You tackled three people," Gabriel tells her.
"I scored," she argues.
"Debatable," he says.
She gasps dramatically.
"Daddy!"
Gabriel laughs and ruffles her hair. "You also stole the puck from Bobby."
"Because he was slow," she says.
"Because maybe he let you," I say.
"No he didn't. He looked surprised."
Gabriel glances at me. "To be fair, Bobby always looks surprised."
That gets me laughing.
Maddie points at Daisy. "And Daisy won defense."
Daisy thumps her tail once without opening her eyes.
"Bath time," I say.
Maddie groans immediately.
"I just took a bath yesterday."
"You played hockey in the grass with a dog," I reply.
"And pizza touched my sleeve," she adds, like this is a powerful legal argument.
"An even stronger case for soap."
"But I'm still kind of clean from yesterday," she says, dragging her feet toward the door.
Five minutes later the bathroom looks like a small water park.
Maddie splashes the water with both hands.
"Penalty," I say.
"For what?" she asks.
"Excessive splashing."
"I disagree with the call."
"You can file a complaint with management."
"I am management. And look, I'm a sea monster," she says.
She laughs and sinks under the bubbles until only her eyes show.
"Terrifying," I reply.
She pops back up and sends water over the side of the tub again.
"Maddie."
"Sorry."
She's not sorry.
I wash shampoo into her hair while she tells me, in breathless detail, how Daisy stole the puck, how Dex fell, how Bobby cheated by being too nice, and how she definitely scored even if her father is apparently anti-truth.
"He said it was debatable," she says with deep offense.
"That does sound like him."
"Do you think I scored?"
"I think you terrorized several grown men," I say.
"Good," she says, satisfied.
I laugh and rinse the shampoo from her hair.
For a minute it's just warm water, bubbles, and Maddie humming to herself while she sails a plastic cup through the foam like it's a pirate ship.
Then she looks at me.
"Natalie?"
"Yeah?"
"I have a question."
"That sentence never leads anywhere peaceful," I say.
She considers me very seriously.
"Do you love my dad?"
Everything in me stops.
The room goes completely still.
Even the water seems to stop moving.
"That's a big question," I say carefully.
Maddie shrugs.
"You smile at him a lot."
I don't say anything.
"He smiles at you too," she adds.
The words land harder than they should.
"Your dad is very easy to smile at," I say finally.
Maddie watches me with the unsettling focus only children possess.
"Do you love him?" she repeats.
I reach for the shampoo bottle even though I already used it.
"Tilt your head back," I say.
She does, but she keeps looking at me.
"Natalie."
"I care about your dad a lot," I say.
She blinks once.
"That's not what I asked."
I swallow.
"Close your eyes," I say.
She sighs dramatically but obeys.
I rinse her hair slowly, buying myself time I do not have.
The question hangs in the room with the steam.
After a minute she says quietly, "Okay."
Which somehow feels worse than if she kept pushing.
I help her out of the tub and wrap her in a towel.
"Pajamas," I say.
"Can I still have ice cream?" she asks.
"You had three pieces of pizza," I remind her.
"Two and a half," she argues.
"You also drank half a soda somebody definitely wasn't supposed to hand you."
"That feels unrelated."
"Bed," I say, trying not to laugh.
Ten minutes later she is under the covers in her room wearing striped pajamas and fighting sleep like it insulted her personally.
Gabriel knocks lightly on the door frame.
"How was bath time?" he asks.
"I survived," I say.
"Heroic," he replies.
Maddie sits up immediately.
"Daddy!"
He walks over and sits on the edge of the bed.
"You look tired," he tells her.
"I'm not."
"That's exactly what tired people say."
She giggles.
"Did you have fun today?" he asks.
"Best party ever," she says. "Except Dex cheated at red light, green light."
"That sounds on brand," Gabriel says.
"And Daisy won hockey."
"Also believable."
I smooth Maddie's blanket down over her legs.
"Try not to stay up all night reliving your athletic achievements," I say.
"No promises," she replies.
I start to step toward the door.
"Night," I say.
"Night," Maddie says.
I close the door behind me leaving the two of them alone for story time.
Downstairs the house feels very quiet after the earlier party.
I start loading the dishwasher.
A few minutes later I hear them talking upstairs.
Her voice carries down the hallway.
"Daddy?"
"Yeah kiddo?"
"Can I ask you something?"
I pause with a plate in my hand.
"Sure," Gabriel says.
"Do you love Natalie?"
Silence.
I don't move.
Upstairs Gabriel doesn't answer.
"Natalie didn't answer," Maddie says.
My heart skips.
A beat passes.
"She looked scared. Like when Daisy thinks she's in trouble."
I close my eyes.
Upstairs the silence stretches long enough that I can feel it all the way down here.
When Gabriel finally speaks, his voice is quiet.
"I care about Natalie a lot," he says.
"That's not what I asked," Maddie replies.
I close the dishwasher slowly.
For a second I think maybe he'll dodge it again.
Maybe he'll make a joke.
Maybe he'll tell her she's supposed to be sleeping.
He doesn't.
The room upstairs is quiet again.
Then Maddie's small voice says something that hits me like a punch.
"If you love each other you should just say it."
Gabriel lets out a breath that sounds a little wrecked.
"It's not always that simple," he says.
"Why not?" she asks.
"Because sometimes when you say something out loud," he says slowly, "everything changes."
Maddie thinks about that.
"That sounds scary," she says.
"Sometimes it is," Gabriel admits.
A moment passes.
Then Maddie says, very softly, "I think you'd both be happier if you stopped being weird."
I bite down on a laugh before it turns into something else entirely.
Upstairs Gabriel makes a sound that is half cough, half laugh.
"That's brutally honest," he tells her.
"I know," she says sleepily.
Then, quieter, "I like her here."
That one gets me.
I grip the edge of the counter.
When Gabriel answers, his voice is gentler than before.
"Yeah," he says. "Me too."
Upstairs Maddie yawns.
"Goodnight Daddy," she murmurs.
"Goodnight kiddo," he says.
I hear the light click off.
A minute later Gabriel comes down the stairs.
He stops when he sees me in the kitchen.
For a second neither of us says anything.
The house is quiet.
Daisy snores softly on the couch.
Gabriel rubs the back of his neck.
"She's asleep," he says.
"Good," I reply.
He goes to the sink, grabs a glass, fills it with water, and drinks half of it like he just finished a game instead of tucking in a seven-year-old.
I wonder if he knows I heard.
He sets the glass down and looks at me.
Really looks at me.
Like he is trying to decide whether to say something dangerous.
My pulse kicks once.
Then he glances away.
"Kids ask hard questions," he says.
"They really do," I reply.
He nods once.
That's it.
No explanation.
No confession.
Just that one look hanging in the kitchen between us.
The memory of the party still lingers in the house.
Laughter.
Music.
Fun.
Now it is just the two of us.
And the question Maddie asked sitting right here between us.
Gabriel reaches for his glass again. I turn back to the counter because if I keep looking at him I might say something I can't take back.
The silence stretches.
Not empty.
Not awkward.
Charged.
It’s interesting… I realize silence can be its own kind of answer.