Chapter 15
Alec
“How did you know I was following Arabella last night?”
Well, fuck.
That’s definitely not the question I want to answer this early in the morning and before inadvisable amounts of coffee.
Thankful that I at least have an excuse to buy me a little time, I hold out my hand to ask him to give me a minute as I gargle some mouthwash.
I keep facing away from him as I do, meeting my own blue eyes in the mirror and glaring at my reflection.
I really let myself think that I’d gotten away with that.
I should’ve known better.
Nath was too caught up in it all yesterday to notice, but he’s not an idiot. Of course, he was going to question it eventually. Anyone could put it together that I had no reason to be in that area, that I had no way of knowing he’d needed me.
I spit out the mouthwash and take a deep breath, steeling myself for the conversation ahead. It isn't like I lied, and I only didn't explain myself fully because Nath needed me to be in control. He needed me to not also give in to the impulse to see Bell.
It was the only way I could make sure he didn't do something he'd regret, like going over there and starting a fight with that alpha she'd been on a date with. That would’ve been terrible. I can imagine how shitty we’d both look in Bell’s eyes if that had happened, and the thought of disappointing her like that makes me itch.
I splash some cool water on my face and pat it dry with a towel before I finally turn to face him.
I need to tread carefully. I can see the uncertainty in his eyes, and I know he will try to take this the wrong way.
Not to be upset at me, but to find a way to be even madder at himself, as if he isn't already kicking himself.
“Are you really going to start an entire skincare routine just to avoid this conversation?”
“No.”
“Okay. So talk.”
I take a deep breath, weighing up my words mentally before I speak.
I'm not this careful or worried about my words with anyone else, but with Nath it's important to communicate as clearly as possible.
Even after over eleven years without speaking to his family, what they'd done still affects him.
He still finds a way to see himself as the problem.
He still worries that one day I'll decide he's too much work and get rid of him.
“I went on your computer. Not because I don't trust you, but because I was hoping you'd done what you did and that I could see it for myself. I needed to know how Arabella was doing just as much as you did.”
“That doesn't explain how you found us at the restaurant.”
“I went to check up on her. I was just going to sneak a glance at a distance and see how she looked.”
“But you saw me following her.”
“Yeah.” I nod, watching the gears turn in his head as he adds two and two to make eleven.
“You knew I was going to fuck it up. That my—”
“No,” I cut him off firmly, putting a hand on his shoulder and pulling him closer so he has no choice but to meet my eyes. “I could see you were stressed—that you needed me, and it was enough to knock me out of my own mistake. If you hadn't been there, I would've been the one following her around.”
“You wouldn't,” he immediately objects, trying to shove my arm off and slip away.
“I think I know what I would've done,” I reply, refusing to let him go.
I know well enough by now that while some people may need space at times like this, Nath needs to be reassured. Needs to be held until he stops being so squirrely.
“You're like, the perfect alpha. You could be the poster boy for self-control.”
“I think we both know Bell's scent is enough to drive any alpha insane.”
“Not you. You didn't almost bite her. You didn't stalk her the way I did. The way I still want to.” His voice drops to a whisper, a mix of longing and regret. “I just want to be close to her. I feel like I'm going insane with the need to be at her side.”
“It's the false bond. It's not like we asked for this. You’ve never done anything like this before; neither of us has.”
Nath leans over, grabbing a small bottle of tablets to rattle them in my face. “These are supposed to stop that. Why aren't they working? What if they are working, and this is just me losing control?”
I grab the bottle of pills out of his shaking hand and put them back down before dragging him into my arms. I snake my arms right around his broad frame and squeeze, holding him against me until I feel his breathing start to calm down.
“I think we should stop by the clinic, see if they've got any other meds—for both of us.”
“You don't—”
“I do. Believe me, I really fucking do. I'm feeling this just as much as you are. If I didn't know better, I'd be convinced this is a real, fully formed bond. The urge to see her is so intense.”
“Yeah?” Nath murmurs softly, still not entirely convinced.
“One-hundred percent. We're in this together, babe. We always are.”
“I know,” he whispers, a small bit of tension releasing in my own shoulders as his trust in me wins out over his past and the insecurities it left him with.
“You wanna tag along with me to the gym today?” I offer, figuring leaving him home alone all day with his self-berating thoughts isn’t the best idea.
“And watch you get all hot and sweaty while teaching your classes?” he asks teasingly, quickly adding, “Sure, I could be convinced.”