Chapter 22
Nathan
Alec is apparently so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t notice me sneaking up on him. Not until I’m reaching out to tap his shoulder, anyway.
Luckily, he realises it’s me before I’m slammed into the nearest wall. I miss a possible concussion by mere inches as my mate freezes, his hand still tightly gripping the front of my hoodie.
Trying to keep calm, I lean back against the bricks, forcing him to release his hold as I meet his gaze.
“What are you doing here?” he asks, voice rough like he hasn’t spoken in hours.
“I could ask you the same question,” I reply, looking at the building beside us pointedly.
He’d been the one to tell me again that I should stay away only three days ago, and now he’s here, giving into the same urges.
Looks like I’m really not Arabella’s only stalker.
I’d convinced myself that it was me he was following that day at the restaurant. I thought my perfect mate couldn’t possibly have been looking for her too, but now it seems like he must have been.
He wasn’t just trying to make me feel better.
It shouldn’t give me a sense of satisfaction to know that, but it does. It feels almost like vindication that Alec, the alpha with more control than anyone I’ve ever met, can’t resist her either. That he’s just as weak to the pull tugging us both towards her.
Watching her is addictive. The bond may have caused the pull, but there’s something about her that really calls to me beyond that.
She’s kind, seemingly shy but friendly, and so fucking adorable I could die.
I hear her talking to her dog like they’re having full-on conversations, and it’s both hilarious and sweet at the same time.
Sometimes Arabella even does a weird little voice for her dog as if she’s replying. I wish I’d recorded it to show Alec. He’d have found it just as endearing. He’s always wanted us to get a dog, but between our busy schedules, we’d held off.
“I went for a walk,” he eventually answers, pulling me from my thoughts. “I didn’t mean to come all the way over here, but I must have done it subconsciously. Then I ran into her, or she ran into me, really.”
“You spoke to her?”
Is she okay? What did she say? Did she mention me? Has she been thinking about us the way we’ve been thinking about her?
I manage not to blurt out all of my questions, but Alec, as always, knows exactly what I’m thinking.
“Yes. She seems to be doing well. I don’t know if she’s as affected as we are, but she…definitely seemed pleased to see me. I think. She kept sniffing my way, thinking I wouldn’t notice.”
“Fuck. What did you talk about? Do you think she’ll want to see you again?”
See us again.
“I…” he trails off, and my stomach clenches along with my hands.
“Of course she wouldn’t. She’s got that other alpha,” I mutter, unsure if I want to kill him or be him wherever that lucky bastard is right now.
“She’s in heat,” Alec says so quietly that it takes me a few seconds to realise what he said.
“This soon?”
“Yeah. Must be because of the suppressant abuse. Like a mini heat or something.”
“Oh. That makes sense, I guess,” I say, pausing as I have a terrible thought. One that makes me think of my wish to kill or be that other alpha again, this time settling on being him. “Is she…is she with that alpha?”
“Yes.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah,” he agrees, somehow managing to shove as much frustration into the simple word as I did with my curse. “I helped her pick up her supplies and walked her to her door. I fucking walked her right to him,” he says, an almost vicious quality slipping into his tone.
It sounds so wrong. Alec doesn’t talk like that. He’s the furthest thing from some vicious, jealous asshole.
This false bond is really doing a number on both of us.
“Alec—”
“I know, fuck it, I know how I sound, okay?” he snaps, quickly sighing after as he visibly deflates.
He steps closer and buries his face in my neck, breathing in deeply to calm himself. I wrap my arms around him, breathing in his scent in return, needing the comfort just as much as he does.
“Guess those new meds aren’t doing the trick for either of us, huh?” I try to say it lightly, but I know my words only bring us both dread.
Our other options are awful, and we both know it.
“Maybe we just need to give it more time,” he whispers in denial.
“Maybe,” I agree, if only to make him feel better for a moment, then ask, “Is this her back garden we’re trespassing in?”
“Technically, trespassing in someone’s garden isn’t actually a crime in this country,” he retorts. “Not on its own, anyway.”
“Of course you’d know that.” I can’t stop my eyes from rolling. “Pretty sure stalking is, though.”
“Yeah, it is. Guess we should both get locked up then, huh?”
“I think I’d make a great cellmate,” I tease, hoping to lighten the shitty mood we’re both stuck in.
“As the person who has slept in the same bed as you for years, I can confirm that you’d be a terrible cellmate. You’d complain about the cold and steal all of the blankets, but I still wouldn’t want anyone else locked in there with me.”
I snort, glad to hear some humour back in his voice.
Me losing my mind over something I can deal with, but Alec is my rock. He’s the pillar of fucking stability and always has been.
The first four years of our relationship, his little sister had still been living with him, with us, I suppose, once I moved in.
He’d taken care of her since he was a week shy of eighteen when his mother passed away.
She’d chosen to stay with him, even after their father finally recovered from his breakdown.
A lot of teenagers would’ve fallen apart at one parent dying while the other turned to alcohol and disappearing for weeks at a time, but Alec stepped up.
He grieved in his own way but had never let his sister down.
The same way he’d never let me down when I’d left my shitty family behind to make a new life with him.
My entire family hated that I decided to mate with another alpha, but then again, they always hated everything about me. So, it really shouldn’t have been a surprise when they reacted like that. It shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did, either.
“I hope Alyssa is doing okay,” I say without thinking, and Alec pulls back to give me an odd look.
“You’re thinking about my baby sister right now?”
“I was just thinking about everything. About you when we first got together. We should call her later.”
“Maybe tomorrow. We don’t want to ruin her night with her girlfriend.”
“You think they’re gonna seal the deal anytime soon?”
“Mm. She’s a patient little alpha, but hopefully she won’t have to wait too long for Megan to agree. I know my sister, and she’s definitely all in on her.”
I open my mouth to reply but fall silent, grabbing Alec’s arm and pulling him to the ground with me as the window to Arabella’s flat opens.
Fuck, I hope she didn’t hear us.
We shouldn’t have let ourselves get so comfortable chatting here. We’re standing around in her garden like creepers for fuck’s sake. Well, we’re crouching now, but anyone in the building could still look out of their windows and catch us if we’re not more careful.
“Gotta get some air in here,” I hear that alpha say, hating the relaxed satisfaction in his voice.
“Hmm, don’t open it too wide. I don’t want the neighbours’ cat getting in again. The smell of them inside drives Suki wild,” Arabella’s soft voice replies, sounding just as relaxed as he does.
I know when her voice sounds like that. All happy and docile. She’s probably just gotten off of his knot. I know it.
Fuck.
They’ve been in there fucking or tied together while we’ve been standing right out here. I knew she was in heat, that he was helping her through it, but I somehow blocked out the fact that they were definitely fucking just a few metres away from us.
We should leave. Now.
“Ready for round two already, beautiful?” the alpha’s voice asks, slowly getting quieter as he walks away from the window.
He sounds so fucking cocky about it.
If I didn’t know better, I’d swear he was trying to taunt us both.
“Reid,” Arabella moans his name.
I freeze, my brain unhelpfully replaying her voice moaning my name. Her begging Alec and me to fuck her. Telling us how much she needs us, how much she wants our teeth in her neck.
“Fuck, you feel so good. You’re so wet for me, baby.”
The other alpha’s voice breaks the spell, and I look at my mate, seeing him just as stricken by it as I am.
“Come on,” I whisper, setting a hand on his arm and pulling him towards the back gate. “Let’s get out of here before we’re caught.”
“This isn’t just going away, is it?” Alec asks quietly, so unlike himself.
Wasn’t he the one telling me that of course we’d be able to let this go? That we just need to try a different bond blocker?
Maybe I was right for once, and now he’s realised it too.
That heat with Arabella changed us both, and it’s not something a simple pill can fix. She carved herself into us somehow, and there’s no way to simply cut her back out without risking our link to each other.
We leave her garden and the sound of distant moans behind, walking through the dark streets. I quietly lead the way to my car, having parked it a few minutes away so it wouldn’t be noticed by anyone in her building. Especially by that older lady who’d definitely been suspicious of me.
We get into the car, and instead of starting it, I turn to Alec and tell him, “We’ll have to find a way to live with this. I can’t—I won’t risk breaking our bond to cut the link to her. It’s probably selfish, but I can’t lose you.”
“Even if we didn’t have a bond, you would never lose me, but I understand. We’ll work on our self-control; we can move across the country if we have to.” He links his hand with mine. “I don’t want to lose it either. We’ll find another way to deal with this.”
“Good.” I lean across the space, resting my forehead against his and mumbling, “Love you.”
I don’t tell him that moving across the country won’t help, but if she really was happy to see Alec, then maybe she’ll be happy to see me too?
“I love you too. Now, come on, let’s get home before anyone figures out we’ve become stalkers.”
His tease makes me smile, but so does the tiny spark of hope I feel for the first time since they dragged us away from Arabella.
Maybe there’s another way to ease this ache. Just maybe.