Chapter 24
Arabella
“Thanks for looking after Suki again,” I say as I answer the door, still feeling a little sore and increasingly guilty. It’s not the unexpected petsitting I’m feeling guilty over, though.
“It’s nothing,” Ruth replies dismissively as she slips in through the entrance and settles herself on my sofa like she was invited in. Her audacity never fails to make me smile, because it feels like the way one welcomes oneself into the home of someone close.
The home of someone you care about.
Suki follows her inside but stops at my feet for pets, and I quickly oblige, taking a moment to let the soft, familiar fur under my hand comfort me. She presses into my palms, tail wagging hard as she fully flops down on her side across my feet.
I give her a few more scratches behind the ear before closing my door and going to join Ruth on the sofa, Suki trailing dutifully behind me.
I sink into the sofa cushions, belatedly realising I probably should’ve offered her some tea before I sat down.
Now that I’m sitting again, I don’t think I have the energy to get right back up.
Maybe in a few more minutes I’ll get up and offer her some. My mini-heat really took it out of me, and I’m sure she won’t be mad about waiting, everything considered.
“I know you said it’s nothing, but it isn’t nothing to me,” I tell her firmly. She’s not escaping my gratitude. “I really appreciate you taking care of her. She’s fussy about people, but I know she loves getting to visit you. I can actually relax knowing she’s happy and safe.”
“Well, it’s mutual, isn’t it, precious?” Ruth says, petting Suki’s head and humming affirmatively in response to her own question before adding, "Yes, it is. Such a good puppy, aren’t you?”
I laugh at the adorable face Suki makes, tongue lolling out at us both as she basks in the praise and attention.
“Speaking of visitors, I had an interesting little chat with Reid. Between that and our other conversation, I’m…” she trails off and sighs deeply before continuing. “I’ll be blunt, sweetie. I’m worried you may have a couple of stalkers.”
I immediately snort in response to her words.
Me, have stalkers? Hah!
That wouldn’t happen. Who would choose to stalk me of all people? I’m hardly stalking material, if that’s even a thing. I can’t imagine where I’d have picked up one stalker, let alone multiple of them.
“They’re alphas,” she adds when I don’t say anything.
My thoughts flicker to seeing Alec the other day when he’d helped me carry my shopping bags in.
Could his scent have lingered? Surely not; it had been so quick.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve dismissed any instances of smelling him or Nath as false.
I figured it was a cruel trick of my brain because I’m so desperate for them to want me.
That has to be all it is.
Maybe Ruth saw him and is just confused?
“Do you mean Alec? Dark hair, blue eyes, all muscle?” I ask, though it would only confirm one of the possible stalkers she seems to think I have.
“Hm. Smells like wood and vanilla?” she hedges.
I nod, my stomach twisting with something I can’t define.
“The other one smells similar, but more leathery,” she says, and I stop breathing as she continues. “Tall, dark blond, light brown eyes. I spoke to that one. Said he was visiting a friend but was all squirrely about it.”
“Nath,” I whisper, feeling Ruth’s frown even without looking up to see it. I take a couple deep breaths. “I think the other guy is Nath. He’s Alec’s mate.”
“Two mated alphas? Hm, usually an alpha pair would be less…”
“Skeevy?” I supply, and she inclines her head.
It’s a generalisation, but I know what she means.
An alpha willing to mate with another alpha isn’t usually the kind of alpha who looks at omegas like walking easy-sex-on-demand the way bad alphas can. They’re not the type to make an omega uncomfortable and definitely not the sort of alphas to stalk an omega.
This doesn’t make sense. I didn’t get creepy vibes off Alec or Nath.
Hell, they’re clinic alphas! Alec rescued me and brought me in. If he’s the kind of alpha who would stalk and intimidate an omega, he never would’ve done that, would he?
“He honestly seemed like a nice young alpha, if a bit too nervous when I approached him,” she says contemplatively, as if she’s trying to solve an intriguing puzzle with her words.
“I assumed that maybe you were dating other alphas. A young omega should keep her options open, even if Reid seems like a good match.”
“I…fuck,” I mutter, trying to rationalise all of this in my head.
Ruth saw them, so I really have been picking up on their scents and not imagining them. With the facts coming together like this, I don’t think I can brush it all off as coincidence, not if I’m being honest with myself.
Fuck. If they’re stalking me, I should be upset.
I know that rationally, I should be afraid, terrified even, but it’s not fear that’s speeding up the beats in my chest.
I’m so fucking messed up.
“You denied seeing anyone else, and even if you would rather not tell me, I don’t think you’re the sort of girl to not communicate to your date that you’re seeing other people.”
“I’m not,” I agree. I wouldn’t go behind someone’s back like that. “I—they’re…”
“How do you know these two men?” she asks, as if sensing what I was trying to explain and phrasing it in a direct way that makes it easier to answer.
“They helped me through my heat,” I answer, quickly adding, “The one before I met Reid!”
“I wouldn’t have assumed otherwise," she says reassuringly before humming to herself in thought, absentmindedly petting Suki as she thinks. “This was at a clinic?”
“Yes. I—I know we aren’t supposed to contact each other after, but I thought it was a coincidence when I ran into Alec. I thought I was going crazy imagining their scents all this time. Why would they care enough to follow me? They’re both so…”
Perfect. Sexy. Kind. Protective—no single word feels enough.
“You thought it was wishful thinking? That you imagined their scents because you wanted them?”
“Yes.”
“Well, then that makes this situation a little more difficult,” Ruth says with a deep frown.
“Uh, what do you mean ‘more difficult’?”
“Well, I can’t get the three gentlemen sharing a place upstairs to kick some sense into them if you like these alphas, now can I?”
“You were…you were going to get some guys to beat them up!?” I ask, totally shocked at the choice of solution from someone I’ve always seen as a sweet older lady. A shrewd one who invites herself in, sure, but a nice lady all the same.
She makes cookies, not crimes!
“Of course,” she says, totally unfazed by her plan or my reaction. “Your safety is important, and the police are useless for things like this. Those boys owe me a favour anyway.
“Does everyone in this building owe you favours?” I ask wryly.
“I can’t help it if everyone comes to ol’ Ruth with their problems, now can I?”
“I’m sure,” I agree with a laugh.
My amusement dies quickly, though.
Alec and Nath are following me—they’re stalking me.
I should be furious and terrified. At the very least, I should be a little upset, at the very least, concerned.
However, the only negative emotions I’m experiencing are confusion and guilt, because all the other things I am feeling about the situation are good feelings. I’m…happy?
Happy to be stalked.
Fuck. I am crazy.
“I’m a terrible person,” I say quietly, more scolding myself than trying to say something to Ruth.
“Silly girl. Why would you think that?” she questions back regardless.
“I like them. I like them even though I met Reid, and he’s so amazing. I don’t deserve him, and I still like them even knowing they’ve been stalking me. Who gets happy about that? What kind of lunatic wants to kiss their stalker?”
“I’m sure it’s a little more complicated than that,” she says kindly. “Did one of them bite you during your heat?”
“No. They didn't, even when I was out of my mind begging them to. They wouldn’t bond with someone who couldn’t agree to it.” I know they’d never choose to do something like that.
“Did the doctors mention any possibility of false bonding?”
“Well, not really…just that the medication to restabilise my cycle should prevent it?”
“The regular meds for cycle regulation wouldn’t do that. Do you have them here?”
“Yeah, just give me a sec to grab them,” I say while dragging myself to my feet.
I walk into the kitchen and grab the box of pills, shoving them into my pocket so I can carry two glasses of water back to the sofa.
I shove a few ice cubes in hers, knowing she prefers it that way, and head back to the living area.
I set the glass with ice in front of Ruth and the other one in front of my spot before fishing out the box from my pocket.
I hand it to her as I sit down.
“These are definitely the ones they use when they think a false bond might’ve occurred,” she says, turning the box over in her hands after reading the back of it.
“Are you an expert in false bonding?” I ask, trying to sound amused but failing to cover my concern.
“You live to my age, and you pick up some things. It must have been something your alphas said or did that made them give you these as a precaution if you didn’t say anything to make them suspect a false bond.”
Honestly, I hadn’t said a whole lot to the doctor after my heat. I was too embarrassed by how pathetic I felt, almost crying at the absence of two alphas I barely knew. I barely listened when she was explaining the meds and the mini heats that would likely follow.
“They’re not my alphas,” I finally say. They’re not. Even if I wish they were. “What’s a false bond supposed to feel like, anyway?”
Is it the reason why I can’t stop thinking about them?
Is it why I spent days after my heat just lying around my flat craving their presence?
“I suppose it’s like a pull? A strong desire to see them and be close. Though it seems those two might be a little worse off than you are if this is a false bond. Their bond with each other would likely increase their urges too.”
“Like a feedback loop?”
“Hm. Yes, something like that.”
“I should probably speak to one of the doctors at the clinic,” I say, guilt rising as my mind, as every bit of omega in me, immediately rejects the idea.
I don’t want to get rid of this bond.
Even if it’s false, even if it’s incomplete and selfish of me to want more. I can’t bring myself to want to take away the one thing tying me to the alphas I’ve craved since the moment I met them.
“You could always just complete it,” Ruth says, as if reading my thoughts. “If you do like them, beyond mere attraction and the instinctual pull.”
“I think I do. But what about Reid?”
“You can choose…but maybe he likes you enough to share?”
“I can’t ask him to do that!” I immediately protest the idea.
How selfish would it be of me to do that? To suddenly change the terms of our, well, I don’t know if I can call it a relationship yet, but it’s definitely going that way.
At least, it was.
Maybe he won’t want me anymore once he knows about the false bond?
He could decide that I’m tainted—that an omega partially bonded to other alphas isn’t worth it.
I don’t want to believe he’d react like that, to blame me for something that isn’t my fault, but even good alphas can be sensitive, can be possessive about their omega.
“It might be best to speak with them before making any decisions. In a public and safe space, of course.” She sets her hand on my arm and gives me a stern look. “I want you to be safe.”
I swallow, feeling like a kid being told not to talk to strangers or get into their white vans when they promise candy. I stubbornly keep my stinging eyes open, refusing to cry. Her words and tone feel like a mother protecting her child. It feels like family.
Nobody has been protective of me in this way since Aunt Cara died. I barely resist the urge to crawl into her arms and bawl my eyes out.
“No matter how nice you think these alphas are, they have been letting their instincts get the better of them by following you,” Ruth continues, either unaware of my being on the verge of tears or simply kind enough to not mention it.
“You should make sure you know what you want before giving them any chances to let instinct take over. They certainly don’t seem like they’d hurt you, but it’s better to be safe than sorry, as they say. ”
“You’re probably right,” I mumble, unable to say more for fear of letting the feeling in my chest turn into a loud, desperate sob.
“You’ll find that I usually am,” she replies, a touch of humour in her tone as she uses her grip on my arm to slowly pull me closer and stroke my hair. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Let it out.”
I feel like a child being consoled.
I feel cared for—loved.
Unable to hold back any longer, I cry into her shoulder, letting the tears flow. I’m not even sure which thing I’m crying about. It could be all of it or nothing in particular and just a rush of hormones. Whatever it is, for the first time in so long, I feel comforted.
I feel safe in a way that feels like coming home after being terribly homesick.
“Thank you,” I manage to say between sobs.
“You don’t have to thank me, dear. I’m happy to be able to help. I’m not your aunt, and you’re not my Melody, but…” she trails off, not finishing the sentence.
She doesn’t have to.