Chapter 30
Arabella
“Stop looking at me like that,” I mutter as Suki lets out another huff, resting her sweet face on her paws as she stares at me like she’s worried I’m about to jump out of the moving vehicle.
Not that it’s something I would ever do, especially not with her in the car. I wouldn’t ever risk her life, no matter how much I’ve ruined my own.
Fuck. I really have imploded it in on myself this time, haven’t I?
I wince, memories of this morning plaguing me even now, two hours and nearly a hundred miles later.
My heat is over, and all the happy hormones are gone, leaving me with nothing but panic and despair.
Three wonderful, perfect alphas surround me, but I can’t think straight as fear consumes me. I know they’re going to wake up soon. They’ll wake up and realise they hate me.
They will think that I tricked them into sharing when they would never want to.
Fuck.
I need to get out of here.
If I can just get what I need, I can probably go without them ever noticing. Just grab a bag, pull on some clothes, and go to Ruth’s to pick up Suki. I can be gone before any of them wake up.
The idea shatters the second Alec lifts his head and our eyes meet.
“Leave,” I blurt, but my voice cracks around the word.
“Arabella?” Reid’s voice is rough from sleep as he looks up at me with wide, concerned eyes.
“I have to go!” I shake my head, scrambling back out of the bed. “No. I mean, you all have to go! Now!”
Fuck, it was so bad.
I had screamed until they all got dressed and left, promising to come back in an hour once I’ve had a chance to calm down so we could talk. I couldn’t bear to stick around for that conversation, though. Now my heat is over, we can all think clearly, and they’ll be done with me.
If I’m going to be alone, I’d rather be the one to leave first, before they can break my heart any harder than it’s already breaking.
My Touch-Me-Knot plant is in the backseat, boxed in with some junk so it’s safe and secure. I glance at it once again in the mirror, hoping it gives me the strength I’m desperate for.
I can still feel my dog’s judgey eyes and quickly glance over at her again, confirming it. Damn, it really should be impossible for a dog to look at someone with so much disappointment.
“So, I freaked out, and what? I’m an omega—that’s what we do. Ask anyone!” I huff at her, my gaze fixed on the road ahead.
Suki offers no reply. Surprise, surprise. Yet, I still feel the need to continue our one-sided conversation.
“You would have run too! I mean, sure, I probably could have handled it better, but…” I trail off, tears filling my eyes.
I should’ve handled it better, but I woke up from another heat, surrounded by the three alphas' bodies, and all I wanted was to cry. It was everything I hadn’t dared to wish for, and I knew it was going to get ripped away from me. I knew that the moment they woke up, the illusion would shatter.
So, I beat them to it.
I nibble my lip as the looks on their faces flash through my mind once again.
Reid worried, Alec confused, and Nathan…
ugh. He looked so devastated. Seeing their hurt faces pains me, but I know they’ll be fine.
As soon as they think everything over, they’ll realise that this was for the best. That they wouldn’t want me anyway.
“I should have said no to them helping me. It’s my own fault for being so damn weak,” I mutter before sniffing and wiping away another stray tear.
Ugh.
I can’t cry again now. I need to focus on the damn road.
“I’ll be stronger now without them,” I whisper to myself, but it sounds hollow even to my ears.
Still, I couldn’t sit around and wait for them to hurt me.
I had to run away first, right back to the place I fled from when I lost everything
.
It must be the work of some trickster god, as I’ve been in my hometown for less than ten minutes when I spot him. My stupid fucking ex.
With my to-go cup of coffee in hand, I quickly duck behind a large hedge and hold my breath. I can’t deal with this bullshit today. I’m internally pleading with the universe that he doesn’t see me or pick up my scent.
Would he even recognise it after all this time?
I keep silently praying he’ll just keep walking. Him finding me now would be the exact opposite of what I need.
I look the other way, seeing Suki watching me like I’m crazy through the windscreen of my car.
I left it running for her, air-con on, parked right outside the coffee shop.
I’m just wasting fuel here, but I never exactly thought I’d need to dive into some bushes to hide from that dick when I stopped.
Risking being seen, I peek around the hedge. Of fucking course he’s still with the omega he cheated on me with. This sucks. It’s been four years, and he still has the same shitty effect on me. I’m fucking hiding like a scared little girl, for fuck’s sake.
I watch as Jake says something to the omega, and the smile on her face drops, her lip beginning to tremble. He scoffs, looking at her with what looks like pure disgust before waving a hand in the air and stomping down the street, leaving her behind without a single glance back.
She stands there, just watching him walk away, and I wonder if that’s what I looked like to others back then too. Was I ever standing right where she is now, watching Jake walk away after some snide remark, my heart in pieces on the ground while strangers looked on at me with pity?
I wince, because besides the modification of having to hide, I actually now feel pity for the girl I once blamed for ruining my life.
Logically, I always knew it was him who betrayed me, but for a long time I was so mad at her, even if I never did more than call her a fucking bitch when I’d caught them.
It’s been four years, but honestly? Now I see she probably did me an unintentional favour. If anything, it seems like maybe she ruined her life by getting with him. Damn it. Whether she deserves my pity or not, I kind of hope she finds it in herself to leave him someday.
That asshole deserves to die alone.
Surprisingly, there isn’t a single part of me that feels the least bit sad, or anything, really, over Jake anymore. Other than embarrassment that I dated him for so long, that is. Honestly, the thought that I wasted years of my life on him makes me cringe.
After what I just saw, Reid's friends might have a really easy time stealing Jake’s omega, now that I think about it. A part of me burns with amusement at that thought, but I’m not back in this town for revenge. Hell, I didn’t even come for closure. I don’t need anything from him now.
I’m here to see the one and only person I care about in this town.
When I make it back to my car, Suki barks happily at me, and I smile at her as I say, “We’ve got someone important to go see. You ready, girl?”