Eight #3
“It’s worked out great.” A hint of defiance rose in her voice. “I have a phenomenal kid who’s smart and funny and somehow athletic even though we don’t know where that came from in either parent’s gene pool, and it certainly isn’t a learned behavior in our household.”
Gillian cocked her head to the side.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t.” Daphne pointed. “Don’t therapy face me.”
“Therapy face?” Gillian asked, even though she knew exactly the expression Daphne referred to.
“You did it to me when I told you what I do for a living, and then again the night I met everyone else. You clearly have thoughts in that much-vaunted brain of yours. Spit them out.”
“Fine, if you’re going to beg me.” Gillian paused enough to enjoy the flash of frustration across Daphne’s pretty features. “You said ‘our household,’ but earlier you mentioned living together ‘at that time,’ which I thought suggested you weren’t anymore.”
“Oh.” Daphne’s shoulders relaxed slightly.
“It’s complicated, but in a good way. We used to live in two apartments in the same building, but now we’ve found a house here in Buffalo where the ground floor and the upper floor function the same way.
Izzy’s room always stays the same, while Hugh and I swap out our weeks. ”
Gillian sat forward. “She has one room, but each parent has two?”
“Correct. The ground floor of the house has two bedrooms, so Izzy has hers, and then there’s a parent room, which is neutrally decorated.
We each keep a toothbrush and whatnot in the bathroom there.
The upstairs apartment also has two bedrooms, one for him and one for me.
The living area houses a corner for him to use as a home office and a little painting nook for me. ”
“Everyone gets everything they need logistically at all times, but Izzy also has consistency,” Gillian marveled.
“Exactly. She sleeps in the same bed, all her clothes and comfort items stay in the same place, and she eats dinner at the same table every night.”
“But your life is always in flux?”
“Hardly.” Daphne laughed. “There’s a consistency and a rhythm for me, too.
I get to be part of the most wonderful family, built through love and deliberation and attention to detail, plus I get the joy of my own time and space regularly, with a partner who, while not my ideal in the bedroom, very much exceeds every societal standard as a co-parent. ”
“Which is why you aren’t a single parent.”
“Exactly. We’re a single unit with regular rotations.”
“And you don’t feel like a part-time parent?”
Daphne bristled. “The fact that you even asked that confirms you don’t have kids, but I suppose that also makes it okay, because you can’t possibly know until you know.”
“Know what?”
“There’s no such thing as a part-time parent.
No matter where I am or what I’m doing, a part of my heart and mind are with Izzy, and Hugh feels the same.
Even though there’s a full kitchen upstairs, we almost always end up eating together.
Unlike other families, we’re not together because we have to be. We’re together because we want to be.”
Gillian turned the concept over in her mind. It wasn’t like any arrangement she’d ever heard of before, but the more she mulled the details, the more she found to admire.
“What now?” Daphne pressed.
“Nothing.”
“Gillian,” she drew out her name in consternation.
“I’m serious,” she said. “I’m trying to find holes or missing pieces, but you’ve clearly crafted something unique with creativity and deliberation.”
“Then why the therapy face?”
“This is my content face.”
“Looks the same.”
“We can’t all have been theater kids, Daphne.”
“You could’ve at least tried,” Daphne grumbled good-naturedly. “Are you honestly not silently judging me behind some business-formal, blank-slate therapist persona?”
Gillian shook her head.
“Why not?”
“A, I don’t completely subscribe to the blank-slate model. B, your life is not my business, formal or otherwise. And C, if you must know, I’m genuinely impressed.”
The corners of Daphne’s mouth curled up. “Impressed?”
“Yes.” Gillian stood. “Impressed and intrigued by the care and thoughtfulness of the arrangement. You’ve constructed a system to meet everyone’s individual needs and the needs of the family unit.”
“It’s not too hippie, commune, unconventional for you?”
“Oh, it may be all those things, but unconventional doesn’t always equal unhealthy.
On the contrary, my one conversation with Izzy offered at least anecdotal evidence that unconventionality has served her well.
She’s confident, intelligent, and engaging, likely because she has two parents who love her and have committed to her care. ”
Daphne stared up at her, some of the mischief returning to her eyes. “Be honest. Does it shock you to approve of my parenting?”
Gillian rolled her eyes. “Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not an easy woman to shock.”
And with that she turned and left, not wanting to linger long enough for Daphne to read her expression or body language, because while “shocked” may’ve been too grandiose a descriptor, she’d be damned if she wasn’t pleasantly surprised by the depth of deliberation Daphne had described, and at the realization that perhaps she’d underestimated her.