Nineteen #2
“Yes, you are, or maybe you’re not trying to minimize. Maybe it’s just your nature, or the way you’ve learned to move through the world, but I don’t want to be cavalier about the commitments I’ve made.” Gillian shook her head. “This was a mistake.”
Daphne winced, and Gillian felt it like another blow. “Not all of it. I didn’t mean that what we … but the conversation. We don’t share the same frame of reference. We never have. I’m sorry I tried to make you understand something we simply cannot relate on.”
Folding back the covers, Gillian allowed the cold air hitting her bare skin to sober her fully. “We haven’t done the appropriate work around boundaries for either of us to know where they are between us, but I think some space might help offer a level of clarity.”
Placing her feet firmly on the floor, she went to push herself up off the mattress, only to be caught off guard once more, this time in the physical sense. Daphne wrapped an arm around her waist and with surprising strength hauled Gillian back onto the bed.
“Absolutely not,” Daphne said firmly, her lips close to Gillian’s ear once more. “We’re not doing this again.”
“I hardly think you have the right to hold me here against my will.”
“It’s not against your will, Gillian.” Daphne laughed and rolled her onto her back.
“Maybe against your stubborn pride, but you’re more than a knee-jerk reaction.
You spent quite the monologue telling me as much, and if you’re allowed to push me down before sex, then I’m allowed to hold you down for a while afterward. That’s a new rule. I just made it.”
Gillian stared up at her, dark eyes unyielding even as the corners of her mouth twitched up. She was beautiful, breathtaking really, and the sight of her naked and commanding killed every argument Gillian had left in her. “I’m not sure that’s logical, but I suppose it’s fair.”
“Good.” Daphne eased down beside her. “Logic is overrated anyway. You’re in my realm now. I order you to turn off that big brain of yours and let yourself be cuddled into submission.”
Gillian bristled at several words in that sentence, but Daphne squeezed her a little tighter.
“You can be as huffy as you want in the morning, because it is complicated. Life is complicated. We’re complicated, but spending a few more hours in each other’s arms sure as hell won’t make it any worse.”
Gillian knew she was supposed to be leaning away from logic, but she did take solace in Daphne’s reasoning. They’d already crossed every line that mattered. Getting a few more hours of rest could hardly hurt at this point. She allowed her muscles to relax into the increasingly familiar embrace.
“There you go,” Daphne cooed softly. “Doesn’t that feel good?”
It did. She might have her stubborn pride as Daphne had alleged, but she wasn’t one to deny the truth right in front of her. Being wrapped up in this woman felt better than anything had in ages, so sinking a little deeper into the sensation, she said a simple, “Yes.”
Daphne smiled against the skin of her shoulder. “Excellent. Then before I get relegated to that long list of provocations in your well-ordered life, just let me hold you through the night.”
“Good afternoon, Darling.” Hugh burst through the door to the waiting room, still brushing snow from his knee-length gray coat. “It’s a blizzard out there. I told Izzy’s friends to bring her here after fencing rather than schlepping all the way up to our place.”
“All the way?” Daphne didn’t buy it. “You mean the extra seven minutes?”
“You know how generous and efficient I like to be.”
“Then why didn’t you offer to pick her up from fencing yourself?”
He gave her a Cheshire cat grin and unwound his cashmere scarf. Taking a seat, he crossed one leg over the other, making it clear he intended to stick around for a while. “Because then you wouldn’t have time to catch me up on all the hot gossip without little ears around.”
“There are plenty of other ears around here,” she whispered.
“All your colleagues are tucked safely in their offices with their dueling sound machines in the hallway to drown out whatever tiny bit of confidential information may waft through the walls.”
Daphne pointed to a door off the waiting room. “That’s Gillian’s office.”
“Oh good. Is she with someone now, or should we ask her to join us?” He placed his hands on his knees as if he intended to stand.
“I will murder you.”
He laughed. “I don’t believe you’re capable of a cold-blooded killing, but I do suspect temporary insanity as a valid option. Is that why you didn’t come home last night?”
“You don’t know. I could’ve come home late and left early.”
“The late part I’d accept, the early part is far-fetched. Also, I checked the doorbell camera.”
“I knew that thing wasn’t for safety.”
“And I know you’re dragging this conversation out until Izzy arrives, but you know I’ll hear the truth eventually. Let’s skip to the good part. I can already tell you slept with her.”
“How?” She didn’t even try to deny it.
“Aside from the not coming home, you’re looking very relaxed and flowy and glowy.”
“I am not.”
“You are. You’ve been so tense lately, and even though you’re not admitting it outright, you’re not mad about the assumption, either. You’re barely even dodging. It’s like you feel like you should put up a fight, but you don’t want to.”
The comment hit Daphne right in the feels. It was basically the same thing Gillian said last night. Could everyone tell what she wanted but her? “Fine.”
“Fine what, Love?”
“Fine.” She drew out the word quietly. “I slept with her. I didn’t plan it.
It sort of … she came into my office, and she was different.
Certain, commanding, like she is at work or like she used to act on the basketball court, but with all her poise and attention pointed at me.
She was in complete control, and I was just … putty.”
“You?” He raised his eyebrows. “You melted for her?”
“I melted.” Daphne covered her face with her hands. “I don’t know how it happened even though I’ve been reliving it all day. One minute I was mouthing off, trying to keep all my defenses up, and the next thing I knew I was on my back, and she was doing things with her mouth that—”
“Okay, I don’t need that many details. Whenever you talk about lady parts, it ruins it for me.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re exceedingly gay.”
“As are you, dear. As evidenced by your tawdry tale of being topped in the office.”
Her stomach tightened. Was that really what it boiled down to?
“Did you call her ‘Daddy’?”
“No!” she snapped, then lowered her voice. “It wasn’t like that, not exactly. There was more.”
“Obviously. I hope you returned the favor. I mean, I admit I’m a little hazy on what your people do, but I assume there’s, like, a taking of turns or something?”
“You’re awful.” She sighed. “But yes, and there was talking and cuddling and processing for a bit.”
“Of course there was.” He rolled his eyes.
“I’m serious. I rebounded once I caught my breath, and I think, for a bit, we genuinely connected, which in some ways is harder to believe than the amazing sex.”
“Oh good, we’re openly admitting the sex was amazing.”
She fought the urge to swoon. “Mind-blowing, phenomenal, off-the-charts sex, and if we’re being honest, there was a round two this morning, which surprised me, but every part of this has been surprising.”
“Oh. Wow. It wasn’t a one-and-done to get whatever this is out of your system?”
She shook her head slowly. No matter how much she’d hoped that might be the case, it clearly wasn’t, at least not for her. “She is so deep in my system.”
“Ew, remember what I said about lady parts.”
“I was speaking metaphorically!”
“Sorry. I don’t know what euphemisms you people use. Go on.”
“There’s nothing else to say,” she admitted. “We didn’t exactly debrief this morning. She got up, kissed me soundly, and went to work.”
“Without processing everything into oblivion?” He wrinkled his nose. “How very unsapphic of her.”
“Right?” Daphne whined. “But it’s on-brand for Gillian. She’s so into responsibility. It’s what she wanted to talk about in the middle of the night. That didn’t go great, but I was able to—”
The door to Gillian’s office opened and they both froze as the woman herself stepped into the room.
Daphne’s heart felt like it might’ve stopped for a second, then sprung back to life by kicking her right in the ribs.
Gillian was dressed casually by her standards, in khakis and a navy blue sweater, her hair down, swaying around her neck and shoulders, but somehow, she still managed to look almost ethereal.
God, even after having seen her naked and disheveled, Daphne couldn’t view her as anything other than perfect, or maybe that wasn’t some perception born of envy and insecurity anymore.
Maybe she actually was perfect. But then, why did it seem like she couldn’t tear that intense gaze of hers off Daphne?
“Hello.” Hugh found his voice first as he rose to his feet.
“Oh.” She turned toward him as if registering his presence for the first time. “Hugh.”
“That’s me.” He cast a deliberate look between them, then added, “I hope my stopping in isn’t an imposition.”
Gillian shook her head as if trying to clear it. “Not at all. I’m between meetings. What brings you in?”
“I’m meeting Izzy here after fencing, so I thought I’d catch up with Daph for a bit.”
“Ah, fencing. That’s actually the topic of my next phone call. Izzy made quite an introduction for me to Lauren and Jess. I should hire her as my marketing strategist.”
Hugh beamed. “She’s multitalented. Gets her business acumen from me, and her interpersonal skills from her mother, though we’ve yet to see if she’ll use her powers for good or evil.”
“Anything I can do to help—” Gillian’s offer came up short as Izzy burst through the waiting room door, alight with excitement.
“We’re getting a snow day tomorrow!” she blurted. “They haven’t sent out the message yet, but Monica’s mom works at the school, and they already told the teachers, so it’s official. My first Buffalo snow day!”