4. Ro
ro
. . .
“I can helpyou get your spot opened,” he said hours later when they’d finally made it up to his bedroom.
As he’d told her when they first arrived, the living room was the most furnished room of his house. In the bedroom there was just this huge California King bed. All of his colognes and watch boxes that might normally adorn his dresser, were in the walk-in closet on one of the shelves that would eventually house all of his shoes. He was still waiting for boxes to be shipped from Denver and had been buying whatever hadn’t arrived yet, so even his closet wasn’t fully stacked.
But tonight, all they’d needed was his bed.
She was lying on her back, pillows propped beneath her head. Her hair, which he’d pulled free of that band sometime during round two on the sectional, was a wild mass that haloed her face. She looked amazing against the pale blue fitted sheet she lay on because he hadn’t allowed them to retrieve the sheet and comforter they’d fucked off the bed during round three.
“How?” she asked, eyes wide and hopeful.
He loved that look, loved the fact that he could give her something that would hopefully transform it into a look of joy. That’s all he’d ever wanted to do for Sariya, to give her the world. Sure, that might sound cliché and to some extent unattainable, but it’s what he wanted. It was a goal he’d set for himself where she was concerned. He’d always said that if—or rather when—he had her, he would do any and everything he could to make her happy. And even if this part of her happiness wasn’t in his power, after seeing and hearing how passionately she’d spoken about opening this place where she could cater to the normally underrepresented portion of their community, he would’ve searched the globe for the resources to make this happen for her.
“First,” he said as he reached out to toy with one of her curls. He lay on his side, still as naked as she was, one elbow propped up so that his head rested on that hand. “I can walk you through the paperwork for the application to become a licensed dispensary.”
“Wait,” she said, shaking her head. “I don’t want to sell marijuana. I just want to provide it to our patients.”
“How do you think that’s going to happen if you don’t get yourself a supplier and to do that you need a license. Even if you’re not selling the product outright, you’ll need to go through all the legalities to be able to dispense it to your patients. And believe me, the owners were billing Medicaid and Medicare for the supply,” he said. Which was probably partly what had led them down the road to trouble.
He had already planned to look more into the clinic’s demise first thing Monday morning just so he could be clear on what was going on in her life. But now that he knew she wanted to do this, and now that they’d come to an understanding about where this thing between them was going, he was definitely going to find out everything. Just like he was going to get one of the many lawyers he knew to handle this deposition for her. No way was he allowing some jailhouse lawyer to work with her. And that’s exactly the type of help her uncle would toss her way.
But that was another story that he certainly didn’t want in his bedroom between them at this moment.
“There are also certain strains that have been approved for use, you’ll want to make sure you stay within the guidelines to avoid massive fines. From there we can start talking about financing.” He paused momentarily when she lifted an arm over her head to rest on the pillow, the movement of her breast and that dark puckered nipple distracted him.
“Okay, I guess this makes sense even if I’m not going to be a full-service dispensary,” she said.
“Listen, you never know how this may grow for you. I get that your main goal is to help those in medical need, but what about those in need with no insurance? If you can also provide a safe space for them to come and purchase what they need to be comfortable, isn’t that worth it too?” He didn’t wait for her to reply. “At any rate, once you get your financing straight, you’re going to need accounts for your payroll and accounts payable.”
He was really starting to hate his idea of not getting the bedding off the floor because it was damn hard concentrating on business with her lying naked next to him. But he was determined not to be defeated, at least not until he’d finished his full sales pitch.
“What we offer at the bank is assistance in getting you what we call a build-out loan, which will help you build or renovate your facility. And you’re also going to need a merchant services account that will handle your ATM and POS, or point of sales, transactions. We also have a monitoring system that will track your sales and make sure you stay on point with the state and federal guidelines. We can be your one-stop shop,” he said.
“Okay,” she said with a sigh. “That’s a lot. And it’s stuff I didn’t even think to consider. I knew the financing piece was going to be tricky. I had a list of some local banks that are known for giving what they call their minority small business loans and I was going to start approaching them when I had a more solid business plan in place,” she said. “I was thinking about asking Donyell to help me with that. But you know how she is about her birthday. Her and Mike have been planning that party since January. So, I’ve just been taking notes and waiting until I had all my thoughts together before sitting down with her.”
“She’s good at business stuff. They’ve done a great job with the lounge,” he said. “And I know she’s responsible for all the background stuff and paperwork, while Mike handles frontline business. He’s actually interested in having a smoke room in the back.”
“Really? I didn’t know that,” she said.
“Yeah, he shot me an email a few months back after I first told them about the promotion and what I’d be doing specifically. My mom’s still not down with marijuana being legal, but my dad and Donyell were actually excited about the new direction my career is going in.” Christine Simmons was as old school as they came and even though a lot of her cousins had come up in the 60s and 70s smoking enough weed to get a whole city high, she had steered clear and preached to her children not to do any type of drugs until they’d had the mantra memorized. Not that it stopped him from lighting up more than a few times.
“So, right now patrons can bring in their own marijuana to smoke in that back room because he doesn’t want the whole place reeking of it. Well, that’s what they’ll be able to do once Donyell gets finished furnishing it. But eventually, Mike would like to have his own items to sell—gummies, vape pens, inhalers and possibly some topical items. So, that’s where I’d come in to help him.”
“Wow, I can’t believe this is such a big business now,” she said. “I mean, I knew everybody was smokin’. Used to smell it driving on the highway each morning. And then, you know where the clinic was located, I could smell it from every corner. Even a few members of the choir came into church smelling like it one Sunday.” She chuckled. “Ms. Christine and Ms. Lulu, you remember her? She used to work at the liquor store, running the lottery machine when we were young.”
“Yeah, we used to call her son Rambo cause his ass was always walking around with that bandana on his head and acting like he could beat everybody’s ass.” He laughed at the memory.
“Right,” she said grinning. “He sure did. Well, her and your mama were livid. Talked about those three all through service and then after service they even went to the pastor to complain.”
“Why am I not surprised?” he asked with a shake of his head. “If there’s one thing my mama’s gonna do it’s speak her piece.”
“And she passed that trait right on down to her bossy, nosy son,” Sariya said, but her tone was light, the smile still on her face.
He loved to see her smile. Loved to hear her talk and laugh. There wasn’t much he didn’t love about this woman.
“Only bossy and nosy with those who matter,” he told her, knowing that if he’d said those he loved, it would scare her away.
For all that Sariya was a decisive and independent woman, there was a part she didn’t allow everyone to see. That part that had suffered because her father hadn’t wanted her and her mother’s bitterness over that fact had rained down onto Sariya as if she’d been the villain in this too well-known story. That was the delicate part of her that he would die protecting. He knew that there had been moments in her life growing up that Sariya hadn’t felt like she mattered to anyone, or that anyone even knew how unhappy she was, but Ro had seen it. He’d noticed it in the sadness that filled her eyes some days, the light that didn’t reach her smile even when she seemed to be enjoying herself. The sag in her shoulders when he’d see her walking from her house down the street to theirs. And he’d wanted to make it all better for her, even back then.
“I think the smell is part of the stigma,” she said. “I know my mother used to fuss about Uncle Larry coming in the house smelling like he’d rolled in weed. Then he’d hang his jacket in the closet with the rest of the coats and they’d all smell like it. She hated that. Hated having to go to work smelling like that because she said that just gave the white folk another excuse to look down on her.”
He shook his head. “They smokin’ too,” he said. “Smokin’, sellin’ and opening up a bunch of dispensaries anywhere they can.”
“I believe that,” she said.
“And that’s why I think you should open your place. It’s a good idea, Sariya. With good intentions. You’ll be servicing the community and fulfilling your purpose.”
“You really think this is my purpose?”
There it was, that twinge of doubt that she tried so hard to hide. The fact that she’d let it be known here, in this space with him was a compliment of the highest caliber. That meant she trusted him, a fact he’d already known because there was no way she would’ve slept with him if she didn’t. But this was somehow more meaningful to him.
“I really do. You know I think all things happen for a reason. The Lord only closes a door when He’s about to open another one,” he told her.
She turned over onto her side so she could face him. “You remember that from your days at Greater New Hope?”
He chuckled. “I sure do. And I wholeheartedly believe it too. So, what do you say? Are you doing this?”
Her gaze shifted away from him for a moment and he wondered where her mind had gone just that quick, but then she looked back and him and nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! I’m going to do it. Will you help me with all the stuff you just talked about?”
He reached out to cup a hand at the back of her neck, then pulled her to him to drop a kiss on her lips. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do, Sariya. Don’t you know that by now? Whatever you want, baby.”
She crept into her apartment at a little after nine on Sunday morning, acting like she was doing the walk of shame. Only, she lived alone, so there was nobody to witness the walk and make it shameful. Unless she counted the guilt that had ridden in the car with her like an annoying passenger during the drive home from Ro’s house.
Ro’s beautiful home, she corrected because that place was more than just a house. Or rather it would be. She could see it so clearly in every room she’d walked into when they’d finally gotten around to a full tour. The bedrooms were large, the deck and yard were too. Definitely a home for entertaining. There was an amazing basement where Ro mentioned creating a home gym. He’d selected one of the rooms upstairs for his home office and she’d quietly envied the room at the back of the house with the window giving a fabulous view of a thick line of trees amidst the crisp blue sky. That would be a perfect office as well.
Going straight back to her bedroom, she dropped down onto her bed, falling back to stare up at the ceiling. “Girl, what have you done?”
She’d not only slept with Ro again, but she’d also asked him to help her get her new business venture off the ground. The new business venture that she’d been keeping quiet because she wasn’t convinced she could make it happen. But Ro believed in her. There hadn’t been a moment’s hesitation or doubt in his voice as he asked her questions about her vision. Then, when he’d come back with how he could help her achieve the vision, she’d been amazed and excited, and more in love with this man than she’d already spent half her life being.
A love that she never thought would see the light of day. Especially not after their first night together all those years ago.
“We can’t do this to our families, Ro,” she said sitting up in the hotel bed. She pulled her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Then, rested her chin on her knees. “Donyell and I have been friends since we were twelve years old. I’ve been in and out of your parents’ house like I was a member of the family since that time. My uncle and my mother still haven’t gotten past that awful summer when you were sent away and I’m not sure your parents have forgiven either of them for all the awful things that were said.” She released a heavy sigh. “There are so many more people to consider in this than just you and I.”
Glancing back, she noticed he hadn’t moved from his position on his back, arms folded behind his head. The sheet rode low on his hips leaving his deep mocha-hued chest bare for her admiration. But she didn’t look longer than it took to see that he was staring up at the ceiling and not bothering to look at her. Returning her chin to her knees she held back tears. The sadness that had enveloped her the moment she’d opened her eyes to see sunlight trickling through that slit in the hotel curtains that hadn’t been closed all the way, now rested heavily on her shoulders.
Last night had been everything she’d dreamed and then some. Every touch from Ro, every whisper in her ear, kiss on her lips and every other inch of her body, had all been as deliciously addicting as she’d feared. She wanted nothing more than to lay in this bed with him until check-out time and then spend the rest of the day with him. And possibly tomorrow and the next day. But how was that even possible?
“You’re going back to Denver,” she said as if answering her own question. “That’s where your life is, where it’s been since you graduated from college. My life is here. So how would this even work if we wanted it to?”
He didn’t respond.
“It can’t,” she answered finally. “We can’t.”
Long moments later when he still hadn’t spoken, she pushed the sheet off her legs and eased out of the bed. She showered, slipped back into her dress and held her shoes in one hand by their straps. Ro was still lying in the bed, still staring at the ceiling as if that was where he’d rather be. She stood at the end of the bed looking down at him. “You’re not going to say anything at all?” she asked, praying her voice wouldn’t crack with the weight of emotion she felt.
He sat up slowly then, letting his arms fall to his sides as he shook his head. “There’s not much to say. You have it all figured out.”
“I didn’t say that,” she replied.
He tilted his head. “Didn’t you? You had every obstacle in our path outlined and bullet pointed the second you woke up. I was only expected to listen as you informed me of the case you’d previously prepared against us.”
She inhaled and released that breath with a heavy sigh. “You’re not being fair and none of what I said was wrong.”
“I didn’t say it was wrong,” he told her. “But I also didn’t say I agree with any of it either.”
She wouldn’t ask now if he agreed or disagreed, didn’t know what she was going to do with whatever the answer was.
“And look, I’m not in the habit of repeating myself. So, I’m not gonna sit here and tell you I want you again. I’ve been telling you that all damn night. And it obviously doesn’t matter.”
“I didn’t say that either,” she said quietly.
“Yeah, Sariya, you did. As you sat here and pointed out every reason we couldn’t be together, you told me it didn’t matter what I wanted. What I thought. How I felt. None of it mattered.”
“We have to consider the other people in our life,” she insisted.
He pushed back the sheet, revealing his gloriously naked body as he stood. “No, you have to consider them. I have to live my life for me. So, you’re all ready to go and I’m not going to stop you.”
And he didn’t. He walked right past her and into the bathroom where he shut the door soundly behind him.
That had been the last time she’d seen him until that Christmas he’d come home and she’d stopped by the Simmons’ house on her way to her mother’s for dinner. They’d been back to being friendly with each other by then. Had exchanged numerous text messages in the time he’d been back in Denver, so it hadn’t been as awkward as it could have been. Still, she’d known the moment she laid eyes on him that day that she still loved him.
Just as she’d known when she’d seen him sitting in that booth at the lounge that the love was still there, still beating as strong as each thump of her heart.
“But nothing’s changed,” she whispered into her quiet bedroom. All the bullet points, as he’d called them, that she’d given him that night, were the same. Well, except for one very big one—Ro was back in Baltimore for good. He’d bought a house, had a new job, he was planting roots. And what was she doing?
Well, what she wasn’t doing was laying on this bed stressing all damn day. She’d showered at Ro’s before pulling on her clothes from last night. Now, she stood, removed those clothes and headed into her bathroom for a long hot bath. After that, she would find something to eat and sit down with her laptop to start mapping out the wellness center she planned to open. With Ro’s help.
A small sigh escaped as she leaned over to turn on the water. Ro was back for good. There was no running from him, or her feelings for him this time. She was going to have to get used to that.