11. April
11
April
E than was too pissed off to notice me sitting on the table with my sleeve rolled up, which meant he didn’t see the ink on my arm. I let him rage, knowing that interfering too soon would not only delay his recovery but would also cause an issue between us.
“I’ll fucking kill everyone in county,” he said, referring to the county jail. He climbed on his bike and revved the engine. He looked at me, and our eyes met. Were the eyes really the window to the soul? I believed they were as Ethan and I stared at each other. Ethan turned off his bike and calmly climbed off. “Sorry. I can’t catch a fucking break.”
Beast and the other members backed off when Ethan walked toward me. Everyone went back inside, leaving us alone. Ethan sat on the table next to me. He smelled fucking amazing. I put my hand on his knee, and he placed his hand on mine.
“What happened?” I asked gently. “It’s not going to bother me, no matter what. ”
“My sister. She flew in and went straight to Manning’s office. She blew up at him, and he tossed her in jail. Can you believe that shit?” His pulse quickened against my hand, and I leaned against his shoulder. His pulse slowed. “I fucking hate feeling this rage inside me. It’s eating away any good I have left. This fucking sheriff is trying to make me do something I’ll regret.”
I looked up into the eyes of the man who taught me everything would be okay. That when life punches, you punch back harder. You don’t fall down and quit. You push through and come out the other side much better off. “It’s okay to hurt, Ethan. Nobody can handle all the shit you’ve had to deal with in such a short amount of time. Be as pissed as you want.”
He put his arm around me, and I felt swallowed up by his presence. There was no world right then—just Ethan and me. “You have two skeletons on your arm, making out. You getting inked now?” He smiled, and I could feel the anger inside him dissipate. “Trixie talk you into that? Don’t let anyone here pressure you to do something you don’t want.”
“Gulley thought it would be a good look,” I said, almost whispering. “What do you think?”
“I think you need more ink. Maybe a she werewolf breaking chains.”
I giggled. Ethan didn’t laugh. “Why?”
“There’s a badass inside you just waiting to break loose. Everyone has that badass inside, but few people know how to let it loose.” He kissed me. “You’re breaking those chains now.”
“I’ll have Gulley start working on it.” I got up and started toward my car.
“Where you headed?” Ethan asked. He stood and walked behind me .
“We need to go get your sister. We can’t all fit on your bike.” I tried to hand him my car keys, and he stopped.
“I don’t do cars.” He climbed on his bike. “She can ride back with you.”
Ethan followed me from the club, and ten minutes later, we were at county.
“You gotta take it easy in there,” I said. “Doesn’t do your sister any good if we’re in the cell next to her.”
“I’m good,” Ethan said, and I believed him. “I just hope they haven’t skipped the judicial system and sent Rose on to prison. She’s a handful.”
We went inside, and Manning got up from his desk and entered his office. He could see the entire lobby through his office window. He took a deep breath and sighed, dreading what waited. “You and your sister must have been twins,” Manning said to Ethan. “She’s a damn handful.”
Ethan laughed. Manning didn’t find the humor in that or anything else. He needed to make a midnight trip to the club’s whore house.
“You take her ass out of here, and don’t let me see her again.” Manning walked down the hall to the cells. We tagged along with smiles on our faces. “I have to deal with her again, and she’s going to Marcum Asylum. She can live in a padded room.”
When we entered holding, Ethan said, "What’s up, Sis? How’s it on the inside?”
“Get me out of here, Ethan.” She crossed her arms and gave him a stare I used to give the boys in high school. None were brave enough to ask me out after experiencing the stare.
Rose and Ethan were obviously siblings. She was beautiful, with long, flowing brunette hair, green eyes that were deep and dark, and an attitude that said he had better get her out of there .
Manning opened the door. “Do what you need and get the hell out of my town.”
“Rose,” Ethan said. He put a large hand around her arm and escorted her out of holding. Manning stopped me from leaving.
“Why are you doing this, April? Go back to Paul and leave this cluster fuck of a club.” Manning closed the cell door with a clang meant to remind me where I could end up.
“You think Paul is a good man?” I scoffed. “If that’s what you believe, then you are no better than him.”
“I don’t.” He walked me to the door and through the lobby. Ethan and Rose were already outside. “Ethan is a criminal in a biker gang. Paul is a much better choice. He’s not going to get you locked up.”
“Did he tell you to say that?” I asked. “The man has no shame. The next time you see him, tell him I said to fuck off. I’m tired of his shit, Manning.”
Manning remained in the building when I went outside. I didn’t know what I was getting into when I married Paul. I know what I’m getting into with Ethan.
“You could have called,” Ethan said to Rose.
“I did, Ethan. You’re always too busy to answer.”
Ethan sighed. He nodded. He did need to slow down and maybe take a vacation.
“I’m sorry, Rose.” He looked at his phone. “The funeral home sent me a message. Mom’s and Dad’s ashes are ready. Follow me there. You can ride with April.”
Rose and I climbed into my car and pulled out of the parking lot, following Ethan.
“He’s a mess. You know that, right?” Rose said. “You can’t fix something that is permanently broken.” She wore tight jeans and a Rolling Stones tee. I wanted to tell her we were all broken, including her, but she had an air about her that suggested being high-strung. Before I said she and Ethan were alike, we needed to move from strangers to friends.
“He’s working through a lot,” I said, and she nodded. “Your brother is a good man. The club really likes him, and people respect his decision-making. It wasn’t his fault what happened to your parents, but he blames himself for everything.”
“I believe he is a good man,” she said. “Our older brother doesn’t. That’s where the problem lies. I commend Ethan for coming out here and leading the life he wants to lead. He’d never been happy in California. That’s why Mom and Dad were in Pine Bluff. Dad wanted to personally, in person, tell Ethan how proud he was. That Ethan had done something Dad never had the balls to do—leave what’s comfortable and live life like it should be lived.”
Damn. Ethan needed to hear those words from his father. We all needed to hear those words from those who supposedly loved us. Ethan believed in giving unconditional love, and that’s all he asked in return. “You’re going to tell him that, right?”
“Of course.” She looked away way too fast when I turned to look at her. I’d been reading people long enough to know when they didn’t want you to know what was on the next page. I didn’t push Rose. I wanted to allow Ethan to figure it out. To find out what his sister was hiding.
We pulled into the empty funeral home parking lot a little after dark. A man who reminded me of Lurch from the old Adams Family TV show showed up at the door. Even his voice was deep.
As we followed him to his office, we passed a room where a closed casket sat alone. I glanced at the picture of a man sitting on the table at the room’s entrance .
“What’s wrong?” Ethan asked. He and Rose looked at the picture of the man. “April.” Ethan put his arm around mine. He said nothing as he urged me away.
The funeral director handed Ethan and Rose three small urns. “It was your parents' wishes that their ashes be combined. Three boxes for three siblings.”
“Thank you,” Ethan said, and we left. I glanced at the picture once again as we passed by. The man in the casket was the man I shot at the river.
I’d spent most of my life explaining to people that violence was not a means to an end. We should always look for alternative solutions. When I pulled that trigger, not only had I killed a man, but I killed an idea I believed in. Sometimes, violence was the only means to an end.
Rose got into the car, and Ethan gave her his two urns. “Bring her to the club. You can both stay there tonight. Once we get straight with what I have going on in the morning, we’ll get your living situation figured out.” He looked in on Rose. “Where are you staying?”
Rose shrugged. “I didn’t plan that far in advance?”
“Wait.” Ethan looked in the backseat of the car. The light bulb in his head was starting to come on. “You don’t have any luggage.”
“Yeah. About that. We probably need to talk when we get to your club.” Rose turned and looked straight ahead.
Ethan took a deep breath and tapped the roof of the car. “I’ll see you in a few.” He climbed on his bike and pulled away from the parking lot, with too many things on his mind to look back to ensure we followed.
I started the car but went nowhere. “Think you could give me a heads up?”
Rose pursed her lips. “Mom and Dad were here for another reason. This guy I was seeing got violent one night and slapped me around. When I tried to break things off, he got more violent. He told me if I tried to break things off, he would kill me. He tried, but I got away.”
“Your parents were here to ask Ethan for help dealing with this man,” I guessed. Again, I thought about the man I murdered. We lived in a violent world, and there was no escape for any of us, including therapists.
“Dad tried to talk to the man, but they argued. The argument turned into a fistfight, but Dad didn’t last long.” Rose ran her fingers around the urns. Tears raced down her cheeks. “The guy told me if I left, he would kill my parents.”
“Fuck,” I said, and Rose nodded.
“He was in a motorcycle club as well. A California chapter of the Street Punishers.” Rose whimpered, and the tears poured. “It was my fault those men shot our parents. My parents were trying to help me.”
“If he knew your parents were coming here, then he knows you’re here,” I said. “You need to tell Ethan as soon as we get to the club.”
“I will. I don’t want him dead, too.”
I pulled from the parking lot, and when I stopped at the next light, I turned and said, “You also need to let your older brother know it wasn’t Ethan’s fault. He feels like total shit, thinking this is all on his shoulders. If he knows he can help fix this, it’ll go a long way in helping him heal.”
“I will.”
Although the club parking lot was full of cars and bikes, no one waited outside. We heard the party inside when we got out of the car.
Ethan took an urn from Rose and put his arm around me. I didn’t wait for Rose to own what was happening.
“I’m going to go inside with the others.” I glanced at Rose. “You and Rose need to talk before you come in. She has a lot to tell you.”
Ethan looked suspiciously at Rose. “What the fuck is going on? ”
“She’ll explain everything, babe.”
Ethan grabbed my ass and buried a deep kiss on my lips. “Love you, babe.”
It was as if someone had hit me with a sledgehammer. I stared into the eyes of the man I’d only met a few days ago.
“Go on inside,” he said. “We’ll talk tonight.”