Chapter 2 Melanie
MELANIE
Iswiped the credit card another time as the phone continued to ring.
“Sorry, ma’am, it declined again.”
My mom finally answered on the fourth ring.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Mom, is there something wrong with the credit card? It’s Abigail’s birthday, and I’m trying to buy her a gift, but it’s declined.”
She cleared her throat. “We canceled it.”
“What?” My voice cracked. “Why?”
“If you don’t mind stepping to the side, ma’am,” the cashier clerk says.
I glared at him but moved. Eyes burned into my back as I stepped away.
Mom’s voice came sharply through the phone.
“Melanie, you know why. This is part of your punishment. If you want to do what you want and be all grown up, it’s time to get a job and work.
If you don’t want to go back to acting, fine.
I’ll support that decision, but what I won’t support is you getting drunk and high all day and forgetting where we came from and acting like the world owes you something. Idle’s time is th—”
“Oh, don’t quote that bullshit to me, Mom. You don’t even go to church and half the shit we have wouldn’t be possible without Richard. You haven’t filmed a movie in years.”
Silence.
I know that stung. She hated it when I reminded her that the reason she hadn’t picked up a role in a film was her age.
“I raised you,” she snapped. “That was work. And Richard has been a good father. We agreed on this together. You didn’t want rehab, so this was the other option. Either follow through, or go back to how we lived before I married him. See how far that gets you.”
This wouldn't hurt if I didn’t love my mom. It’s because I love her that makes this unbearable. The lies she isn’t even aware of get harder and harder to swallow the older I get.
And just like that, I’m ten again—
Sitting cross-legged on the stained carpet of our one-bedroom apartment in Koreatown, peeling the crust off a stale peanut butter sandwich.
The place smelled like mildew and smoke.
I remember watching her cry quietly on the couch, the TV flickering behind her.
Rent was late again. The fridge had a bottle of mustard and a half-carton of milk that was starting to turn.
“Eat slow, baby,” she said. “We’ll get groceries tomorrow.”
We never did.
She tucked me in wearing that ugly leopard print robe someone gave her on set. I didn’t know then that she hadn’t booked a job in months.
Coming back to reality, I swallowed hard before speaking.
“Maybe I will. Maybe I’ll end up marrying a trashy tattooed guy and get knocked up and follow in my mother’s footsteps since I’m such an idiot. There’s no way I can make it in life alone on my brains, right, Mom?”
“Go ahead, try and hurt me because you want an excuse to be rebellious, but remember this, I have sacrificed a lot to give you everything. If you want to get knocked up by some random dude, go ahead, it’s your life you are ruining.
But I’m not having this discussion again with you. You have put us through enough.”
“I’ve put them through enough. If she only fucking knew.
Everything. Right. Another memory hits me as I replay her words in my head.
We’re outside the 99 Cents Only store, both of us pretending it’s totally normal to eat instant noodles cold from the package. She looks at me and says, “Someday we’ll have more. Just hold on, okay?”
And I did. I held on. I followed her across this city, across casting calls, across auditions and rehearsals and promises. I watched as men came in and out of our apartment. I watched her fall in love with Richard and how he gave us stability. Watched her become someone I barely recognized.
“Right, I forgot I'm the one who ruins everything. The devil’s spawn child, and it’s why I am out of your life, Mom.”
“I didn’t say that. But we are lucky Richard hasn’t filed for divorce after all the shit we’ve gone through. Especially the shit you’ve put him through.”
I can feel the vein on the side of my head pulsate as rage runs through me.
“Mom, are you that fucking blind?”
“I’m not blind. I’m just not going to keep throwing money at you, and think that will fix things anymore. You need real help, baby.”
“I’m not the only one.”
“Now M-” I hang up before she says anything else. Heat spreads across my chest, warming my insides. I want to hit something, but there’s nothing safe to hit so I kick the wall. The cashier jumps.
“It’s just a fucking wall.” I turned and stormed out of the mall
The lake house is packed—cars everywhere, voices spilling from the front door, music pulsing through the windows.
“Perfect.” I twist the cap off my water bottle and pour in more vodka.
Loco tilts his head at me from the passenger seat.
“What I’d give to have your life, buddy.
” I scratch behind his ears and take a long pull from the bottle.
Inside, the place feels like someone else’s life. Laughter. People in clean clothes. Shiny hair. Perfect teeth. I move through the noise like a ghost, hoping no one sees me.
Of course Abigail sees me.
“There you are!” She rushes over like she hasn’t seen me in years. “Where’ve you been?”
Happy birthday, Abs.” I force a smile. “I was, uh… getting your gift.”
She lights up. “You didn’t have to do that!”
“Yeah, well… turns out I can’t.” I dip my chin. “Card got declined. I’m… in a bit of a transition phase.”
Her smile fades a little. “Are you okay?”
No. I crashed a car, my mom’s cut me off, and I’m one more fake smile away from screaming into the void.
“Looking for a job now. So I’ll get you something eventually.”
She stares. “Wait—what about school? Are you getting married too?” She laughs like it’s all a big joke.
Like we’re still in our carefree college days As I watched my friend go through all the best highs in her life, I suffered from all the lows in mine right now.
I didn’t want to bring her down to this level, but my heart couldn’t fake another smile.
I let out a long breath. “It’s a long story.”
She motions for me to sit down, so I do. Chattering noises were the only thing we heard until I spoke again.
“I totaled another car,” I say flatly. “Middle of the night. My parents said I either prove I’ve changed or they stop paying for school. No more free ride.”
“Jesus Mel, I’m glad you are alright.”
I shake my head. Not Enough
“Thanks.” A sudden surge of agitation runs through me and I was itching to get more to drink.
“But that seems a little harsh. Can’t they just make you work for your next car or something? We all have fender benders in our lifetime.”
“This was the second car totaled in less than a year, and it was a pretty expensive car.”
Abigail blinks.
“It wasn’t just the crash. They’re tired of how I live. Which is ironic, considering I learned it all from my mom. She married money. I self-medicate. Same survival instinct, different drug.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because it’s not your problem. And because I’m tired of being everyone’s mess.” I try to laugh. “It’s not like she’s shipping me off to the military or anything.”
“Glad to know you were talking about me,” Nick says, rounding the corner from the kitchen. And my mouth nearly dropped. His arms and chest were covered in tattoos. I didn’t see them earlier because he had his soldier uniform on.
“How long have you been eavesdropping, stalker?”
“Long enough to know you shouldn’t be driving .” He says, taking a sip of his beer.
“Oh, bite me.”
Really Mel? You went to the most expensive private schools in California and attended a couple of years of college. That’s the best comeback you can do?
“No thanks. I don’t like the taste of vodka and entitlement.”
I open my mouth to snap back, but the words fall flat. I’m too tired. Too exposed.
“I see you two have met.” Abigail flickers her gaze between the both of us.
“Unfortunately,” I mutter. “And I thought this was a house for people in need. I don’t think eating free meals just because you’re in the military accounts for that.”
“Actually, this is one of Colt’s friends. He’s going to be one of the groomsmen.” Abigail says, and I can see the humor written all over Nick’s face with that sly grin.
Of course. Groomsman. Soldier. Hero. Probably saves kittens in his spare time. But why had she never mentioned him before? As if she were reading my mind, Abigail says, “He just got back from Afghanistan six months ago.”
“I was wounded in battle and after 14 years, I decided it may be time to retire. It was wearing on my body. Besides, now I have a chance to do what I really love.”
“Good for you, commando,” I say, closing my eyes to appear annoyed, but they fling open when I feel a tiny pinch on the side of my torso. “Oww,” I dart my eyes to Abigail.
Nick chuckles as he dips his chin and then lifts it back up. “Funny, most people say thank you for your service.”
“We do, thank you,” Abigail says, eyeing me and jerking her head slightly towards Nick.
“Excuse me for being a bitch, but I’m not all about fighting and causing generations of violence just to do it over and over again.
I can’t help the fact that the people running our countries are idiots and think that violence doesn’t constitute more violence.
I mean how many wars do we need to have. ”
Abigail and Nick just stare at me, but I don’t bat an eye.
“There you are dear, come, let’s sing happy birthday and honor the men that have served our country,” Nora says as she steps into the foyer.
“Coming right away, Grams.” Nick winks at me, flashing a toothy smile before walking off into the kitchen, beer in hand.
I down the water bottle in mine, ignoring the butterflies that swarm my inside my stomach.
I don’t know why Nick had this effect on me.
I recoiled at the mere sight of anyone who played in any type of authority role, like a cop, a producer, or even a sergeant.