Chapter 23
chapter
twenty-three
“I don’t just want her presence. I want her past, her pain, her pulse…everything.” – Cyrus
CYRUS
I watch Haven walk away, my mother hot on her heels. I’m about to stand and follow, but Auguste hits me with a hard stare. Gone is the friendly smile and happy conversation.
“I’m pleased we have a few moments alone to talk,” he says.
Auguste reminds me of a mob boss. The tattoos on his hands, rings on his fingers, and the I-will-eat-you-alive personality haven’t changed since the first day we met. The difference is that he no longer intimidates me and I don’t give a fuck about my career.
“Oh, and why is that?”
“Cyrus, you’ve always been talented. But lets face it, you’ve also been a major fuck up.”
“Well, this conversation is starting with a bang,” I say, and pick up my water.
“We both know it, so don’t look so offended.”
“What of it?” I try hard not to sigh audibly.
“My daughter.”
Now, he has my full attention.
“What about Haven?”
“I know you’ve been a dick to her. I may not know all the things you’ve done, but you hurt her enough that she ran from me, her only family, and the company that she loves.”
“That’s not what—”
“Shut up,” he growls, leaning forward.
“She ran to New York to get away from you. That much I do know. When she agreed to come back, I thought this would be the best position for her, not only to succeed—since she is the only person you’ve ever listened to—but a good way for her to face her past. I’m starting to see that this might have been a bad idea. ”
Icy cold fear streaks down my spine. He can’t reassign her.
“And why is that?”
“Because I didn’t expect this.” He points between me and her empty chair. “I thought you’d remain the whore you are, and with Haven’s engagement, that she’d be able to bury any lingering feelings toward you. As a bonus, she would keep your pathetic ass on the straight and narrow.”
Rage boils in my gut.
“I see the way she looks at you. It’s like no time has passed at all. I will not have you destroying my incredible daughter’s heart again. I won’t just release the band. I will destroy you.”
I’ve never seen him like this. He’s never been warm and fuzzy, but this is downright murderous.
“I’m confused. Haven just told me that you want us to play up our…whatever, for the cameras.”
“I do. But remember it’s only an act. Don’t get it confused with what is real and blur the lines here, Cyrus. I promise that if you hurt my daughter again, it will be the last thing you ever do. I love her more than life itself and I have no problem going to prison to keep her safe.”
“Well, since we’re clearing the air, I will make three things very fucking clear for you.
Yes, I had something to do with Haven leaving, but don’t kid yourself, so did you.
You ignored her for years. She was treated like shit in that house, and you let it happen.
I know because I did most of it, and you were too busy to notice or care. ”
Auguste’s face darkens.
I lower my voice but stare him in the eyes.
“Don’t ever threaten me again. You even think about dropping the band or pulling Haven off this assignment, and I’ll make sure that she is aware of every detail of your affair.
And no, I don’t give a fuck if she realizes I’ve known and kept it from her.
Just to watch you burn in her eyes will be payment enough. ”
I slowly stand and button my suit jacket.
“And lastly…I know you’re not as squeaky clean as you let on.
So, understand this—Haven is mine. I don’t care about this Charles guy, and very soon Haven is going to see we’re meant to be together.
Come between us, and I’ll bury your body so deep in a dark hole that no one will ever find you.
You’re not the only one who has friends in high places. ”
He looks like he wants to jump up and punch me, but manages to remain seated. Turning, I march away, heading for the washroom. I trust my mother about as much as I do Auguste.
This is not how I envisioned this night going.
The hallway is long, and I pass the men’s room before rounding the corner and spotting the women’s. I push open the door a crack, and my mother’s voice comes through loud and clear.
“You want so badly to be the exception in my son’s life, don’t you?”
My mother is standing with her back to me, arms crossed.
“This is my job, Anita. My father placed me here. I didn’t ask for this.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. But now that you are back in Cyrus’s life, you have that stupid doe-eyed look.
I know you’re still hopelessly and pathetically in love with him, but here’s the truth.
You’re not the exception. You’re not special.
You’re nothing more than a placeholder. A soft shoulder he can lean on until the novelty of your return wears off. ”
Mother looks Haven up and down, and I can feel the judgmental stare, without seeing her face.
“He will find someone worthy of him. Someone who brings as much to the table as he does. A model or actress, perhaps. She will be more talented and far prettier than you can ever hope to be. And when he does? He’ll leave you bleeding. Just like before.”
I’ve heard enough.
The door bangs hard against the wall, and both my mother and Haven jump. Anger, from my conversation with Auguste and now hearing my mother tear down Haven, is flowing through me like high octane fuel just waiting for the match to burn it all down.
I step inside and glare at my mother.
“Cyrus…what are you doing, son?”
“Don’t son me. I heard every disgusting word you just said to Haven.
” My mother’s face pales. “I told you to leave her alone, but apparently you didn’t understand, so let me put it another way.
” I step close enough that she has to look up at me.
“You’re no longer welcome anywhere near this tour or me.
I don’t want to see you again until it is all over.
Don’t call me, don’t come to my rehearsals, recordings, or concerts.
Don’t call Declan or anyone in my band. And if you so much as breathe in Haven’s direction again…
then I’ll cut you off completely forever. ”
“Cyrus…you can’t do that,” Mom gasps, a hand going to her chest as if I’ve shot her. Too bad.
“Yes, I can. As soon as I get back, all security will be notified that you’re not allowed on premises, and don’t push me, mother. I have no problem with your ass sitting in jail. It will give you time to think about your actions, and orange really is your color. Now get out,” I growl.
She doesn’t move.
“Now.”
Mother jumps and scurries toward the door. I follow her, and as soon as the door is closed, I flick the lock and turn to face Haven.
“Cyrus, what are you—”
“When she followed you, I knew she was up to something.”
I close the distance between us, and Haven stiffens. I hate that.
“I can handle your mother. I’m used to our verbal sparring.”
My hand slips around her waist to the small of her back, and I pull her against me. She arches away, but the pulse jumping in the side of her neck and the desire in her eyes is fucking candy. I want to suck on every inch of her body.
“You shouldn’t have to. I’m sorry that I never stepped in to help you before.”
“I’m not your problem, Cyrus. Never was.”
Haven tries to step back, but I don’t let her go.
“That’s where you are wrong. You’ve always been my problem.”
I draw her in until our bodies are touching. I fucking need her. The pull is stronger than any addiction.
“Tell me to stop.” My voice sounds like I’ve gargled with gravel and whiskey after a night of singing.
Haven opens her mouth, but nothing comes out.
My fingers dig into her hips, and my lips brush hers. It isn’t a kiss. Not really. It’s a test and a promise. She’s always been mine, and no amount of time apart can snuff the fire that burns between us.
“This is wrong,” Haven whispers. “I’m—”
I place a finger over her mouth to stop her from saying the word.
“I don’t fucking care.”
“But I do.”
“No, you don’t. I can see it in your eyes,” I growl, forcing her to take a step back. Her eyes harden, and her hand moves to my chest. “If it’s so wrong, then why does it feel like this is the only thing that makes sense?”
My lips touch hers, a little more persistent this time.
“I want you, Haven. I can’t be bothered fighting our connection anymore. I’m too tired. You’re mine, you’ve always been mine. You’ve never been a placeholder.”
Haven suddenly shoves me hard, forcing me back. Her eyes shimmer with unshed tears while her body shakes.
“Fuck you, Cyrus. How dare you do this to me? I gave you everything, and you threw me away like trash. You manipulated me. Gaslit me and emotionally raped me until there was nothing that I recognized. I left to find a life without you, and now…now you say you want me. Fuck you,” she whispers, but her words are filled with so much pain and venom that each one feels like a stab to my heart.
She steps around me, her eyes wary, watching me as if she’s prey and I’m a predator.
“Haven—”
“No…don’t you dare. I don’t want to hear this, just stay on your side of the line, Cyrus,” she says, reaching the door and unlocking it.
Haven pauses, takes a deep breath, and hits me with a stare that cracks my heart open wide.
“I loved you. Through it all, I loved you. But I can’t let you drag me down again. Being near you…it’s like a poison eating at my soul.”
“You don’t understand,” I say, walking toward her, and she quickly whips open the door.
“No, I understand perfectly. You only want me now that I’m unavailable. Well, too bad.”
She marches out, and I’m hot on her heels. If she thinks that walking away again is going to stop me, she is in for a rude awakening. I’m far from done.
Haven sits, grabs her wine, and chugs it down. Auguste and my mother watch her as she pours herself more. I take a seat and subtly move my chair closer as I do.
“Everything okay,” Auguste asks, as I put my hand on Haven’s thigh—dangerously high—and squeeze.
She chokes on the next mouthful of wine and shoots me a glare.
“Yup, just...fine. Wine tried to go down the wrong way.”
I smile at her father, who is sipping his Spanish coffee, like nothing between us ever happened.
“How’s the drink?”
“It’s fine,” Auguste says and then looks away.
Haven mouths, What are you doing?
I lean in close to her ear.
“Claiming what’s mine, Butterfly. Claiming what’s mine.”
She quickly masks the furious look, but I can feel the cracks forming no matter what she says.
Haven will break.
I need her to.