Chapter 31
chapter
thirty-one
“Some cravings fade. You only got louder, like a chorus I can’t stop screaming.” – Cyrus
CYRUS
The moment she stops fighting, I feel it.
Not in words, because she’s too damn stubborn to admit it out loud, but in the way her body molds to mine, remembering me just as well as I remember her.
The soft moan on her lips as she submits to my touch triggers something primal.
Something that has been clawing at my ribs since the second she walked back into my life, and whatever restraint I’ve been holding onto crumbles under the weight of it.
God, I’ve missed this.
Missed her.
Missed the way she looks at me like I’m the worst thing that ever happened to her, and she still can’t bring herself to walk away. It’s confirmation that she is as addicted to me as I am to her.
My hand tightens in her hair, and she gasps. I need something solid to hold onto before I completely lose control. Her throat is exposed, her body arching, every inch of her reacts to me in a way that makes my head spin, and I can feel the line I shouldn’t cross hovering right in front of me.
I step over it anyway.
“You think I don’t see it?” I murmur, my voice rough, darker than simple desire.
“You look at me like you hate me, but your body…” I trail off, letting my hand slide lower, slower, until I press my fingers against the thin fabric of her sleep shorts.
She’s soaked.
I lick my lips as I try to steady myself and fail miserably.
“Yeah,” I whisper, almost to myself, pressing on her clit just enough to feel her react. “That’s what I thought.”
The material moves easily out of the way for me, and my cock strains as I push my thumb into her tight, wet heat.
“Oh…god…no…Cy. We…can’t,” Haven mumbles with zero conviction.
She shifts around, wiggling, wanting more. I switch to my middle finger and push it all the way in, curving it ever so slightly to find her G-spot.
“Oh my god…Cy,” she moans this time, and I can’t look away. She’s on full display for me, and she is fucking radiant.
Her breath catches, and her grip tightens on the counter edge. It feeds something ugly and possessive inside me that I’ve never been able to control when it comes to Haven.
“Are you still saying no, Butterfly,” I ask, lifting my eyes from her sweet pussy to stare at her face.
She is flushed, shaken, and standing on the same ledge I’ve been circling for years.
“Still going to pretend you don’t want this?”
She’s right on the verge of her climax, whimpering but not outright begging.
I stop and run my hand up her side, slowly, like I’m giving her time to object, like I’m giving her one last chance to walk away.
She doesn’t take it, and I snap.
“Christ, Haven,” I mutter, my grip shifting from her hair to her jaw, forcing her to look me in the eyes. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?”
She doesn’t answer.
“What you’ve always done to me.”
I see the same dark passion in her that swirls inside my chest, but she resists it.
“I’ve always hated how much I want you. Don’t you get that?”
She still doesn’t respond, and I wrap my hand around her throat and pull her closer.
“You make me insane, Butterfly. I’m this way because of you.”
My mouth finds hers again, not as brutal as before but no less consuming.
I taste what I’ve been denied for too damn long.
My hands move over Haven, reacquainting myself with every dip and curve of her body.
I never should have let her go in the first place.
Every touch is a reminder, every reaction from her is a strike against whatever control I have left.
“I never should’ve come back,” Haven says, and my hands tighten on her throat as her nostrils flare.
“You’re right, you shouldn’t have come back, because now I’ll never let you go.”
She shivers but doesn’t try to run away, even as her eyes are still a mix of defiance and desire.
“And you don’t get to come back…” I whisper against her lips, my tone threaded with something dangerously close to anger, “and act like what is between us no longer exists. You can’t pretend that you don’t feel our connection,” I continue, my mouth brushing along her jaw, her throat, every word a claim whether she wants to hear it that way or not. “Because I know you do.”
I pause just long enough to let it sit between us.
“Say it,” I add, quieter now but no less demanding. “Say you don’t want me, and I’ll stop.”
It’s a lie. We both know it.
I’m not stopping. Not when Haven looks at me like that, and she’s already halfway to her orgasm. And certainly not when I’ve spent years trying to forget what it feels like to have her like this, and failing every single time.
She sucks in a deep breath when I release her neck, but that relief is short-lived. I grab a large apple from the bowl on the counter and hold it to her lips.
Haven’s eyes fill with confusion.
“Open your mouth and bite down.”
“But…”
“Do it,” I order, roughly.
Haven bites her lip and then opens wide. I shove nearly half of the apple into her mouth before she locks her teeth around it. Almost immediately, juice flows down the side of her face and onto her chin before dripping to her chest. I watch the line travel lower and lower.
My tongue meets her skin, and I lick the sweet fruit juice off of her. Sucking one nipple into my mouth, Haven moans, and the liquid runs faster. Switching nipples, I give the other the same treatment. My gaze finds hers, and there is nothing there but need that matches my own.
My hands move to her hips, and I pull her off the counter. Her body slides against mine until her feet hit the floor, along with the remnants of the torn shirt. There’s no grace in it, nothing slow or careful, just urgency and something rougher that’s been building for too damn long.
She doesn’t stop me, and that’s all the permission I need.
I grab Haven’s wrists and spin her around before bending her over. My fingers hook into the waistband of her shorts, and I drag them down. My jaw tightens as I take in the way Haven answers my touch without hesitation.
“Fuck.”
My mind shatters as I stroke my hand along her spine and kneel. I grab her ass and spread her cheeks. Haven’s pussy is soaking wet. My grip is firm. I’m afraid she may bolt now that I’ve finally got her where I want her.
All I can see, hear, and smell is Haven as I taste her for the first time. The apple flavor is still in my mouth, adding to her sweetness as I lick like a man possessed.
My cock presses against my sweatpants, and I can feel the wet spot forming from my own excitement.
Haven moans and rises on her toes, giving me better access.
Her pussy twitches, and I know she is close.
I pull away, edging her further, making her as desperate as I am.
She glares over her shoulder at me when I stand up.
Giving my girl what she wants, I push my sweatpants down and release my cock. Her eyes go wide as she takes it all in.
I play with my piercing, and more saliva drips from her mouth. Haven is drooling just for my cock, and I fucking love it.
“Like the addition,” I ask, flipping the ring back and forth.
Haven nods, her green eyes slowly rising to my face. I step behind her and run my hands over her perfect apple ass.
“Fuck, I’ve dreamed of this ass. Now be a good girl, Butterfly, and take my cock.”
She moans as I rub the head against her opening, teasing her. She still hasn’t come, and it feels fucking euphoric knowing that she won’t until she’s impaled on my dick.
“Don’t move.”
My voice is rough as I lift her leg and put her heel on the counter.
Good thing it’s not cluttered. It’s not the most comfortable position for her as she folds in half, adjusting to the spread, but it’s erotic as fuck.
Her tits sway, nipples barely grazing the granite.
She’s open to me in a way that nearly has me coming on the spot.
One hand tightens on her hip, while I use the other as a guide. I’m barely in when my head falls back, and I stare up at the ceiling. Haven is my heaven. She cries out as I push deeper, but the apple muffles the sound. So fucking sweet.
Her walls grip me tighter, and I pull her hips against me hard. The contact is enough to drag a low, wrecked sound from my chest.
“Fuck you feel incredible,” I groan, pulling out and thrusting back in.
Everything after blurs. Not in a way that fades but becomes hyper-focused, and the world slips away. It’s just us, and we can be anywhere. Every second is too intense, too consuming, as if I’m burning through something I’ve kept buried for years.
Haven moans as I pick up the pace, and the wet sound of my cock pounding into her fills the air. I grip her hips tighter as I fight back the urge to come too soon. Fuck…it’s difficult being inside her with dark lust riding me.
“That’s it, take it, Butterfly.”
Haven’s knuckles turn white as she grips the edge of the counter.
A whimper escapes her mouth, and it shoots through my body.
Grabbing her hair, I wrap it around my hand and pull back hard enough that her body bows.
I stare at the butterfly tattoo that I haven’t seen until now. It’s beautiful, just like her.
My cock swells. She marked herself…with me.
“You try to pretend that I mean nothing.” I can just see her eyes, and they are wide as I trace the tattoo with my finger. “I see you.”
Not breaking rhythm, I tug harder on Haven’s hair until her eyes water. I grab her jaw and force her to look at me. The dark possessive part of my soul that has always wanted her races to the surface and consumes me. Drool dribbles over my fingers, leaving a line of sticky apple juice.
“Scream for me, Butterfly,” I order. Haven’s nostrils flare as she grumbles. “That’s it. You’ve always wanted my cock, say it.” She whimpers. “Tell me,” I snarl.
A faint, yes, escapes her mouth.
“That’s it, that’s my good girl.”
Her eyes roll back in her head as her pussy strangles my cock and she comes. I groan, fucking her faster, riding out her orgasm with her, and soaking up the delicious sounds of pleasure. When she slumps over, I lean forward and lick the apple dribble from the corner of her mouth.
“Mmm…so sweet. No one but me will ever touch you again.”
Releasing her head, I grab her hips once more. My control slips further and further until there’s nothing left but instinct, need, and something dangerously close to losing myself completely.
I hold onto her tighter. Worried that if I let go, she’ll disappear again. I can’t have that. Not ever.
It ends just as violently as it started. My teeth clench, and my abs flex as I come with a growl on my lips. Again and again, I release until my legs shake and chest heaves, but my body feels light and euphoric. Haven’s forehead is resting on the counter, her breathing just as rapid as mine.
Pulling out, I grab the spoon that I used for my coffee earlier and gently insert it inside her pussy, scooping out the load of our mutual release.
She tenses and looks back at me. Haven’s pupils are still blown with the aftermath of what we just did, but there is also curiosity and a little bit of worry in her gaze.
I smile, before putting it in my mouth and swallowing us down. Haven’s cheeks are already flushed, but they turn a bright red when she realizes what I’ve just done.
“I wanted to see how we taste together.” Grabbing the apple, I tug, and it comes free of Haven’s mouth. Unable to help myself, I lick the part that was in her mouth clean and then take a bite. “We taste fucking delicious.”
Haven clears her throat and slides her leg off the counter, but I’m not done with her yet.
My heart is still jumping in my chest, our eyes still locked as I slowly chew the bite of apple. I run my tongue along my bottom lip, and that is when I see it. The shift as reality creeps back in like an unwelcome visitor.
It’s subtle, but it’s there. The heat dissipates, replaced with something colder.
Haven’s hands move fast, yanking her shorts up and gathering the torn edges of her shirt as she tries to piece herself together.
I can almost see her thoughts. She thinks that she can undo what just happened if she moves quick enough. But she is very wrong.
“This was a mistake,” Haven says.
Those four words wipe the blissful feeling away and replace it with the same possessive anger that was riding me before.
Oh hell no.
I grab Haven before she can run and yank up my sweatpants with my other hand.
“What are you doing, Cy?”
I don’t answer.
“Cy?”
Pinning her between me and the table, I fist her hair.
“Cy, what the hell…ah,” she yelps as I force her forward until her cheek is pressed to the wood.
Snatching the black permanent marker I used earlier to autograph photos, I bite off the cap, and spit it aside.
“Cy, let me up,” Haven orders, struggling now.
I hold her firm and focus on my task.
“What are you writing?”
She glares at me from the corner of her eye.
Done, I lean in close to Haven’s ear.
“Next time, just fucking say you’re mine,” I whisper, and then let her go.
She jumps up, wheels, and takes a swing, but I block her hand. Her face is pure and intoxicating rage as she scowls at me. I love it, and I can’t help but smile.
“Fuck you, Cy.”
Haven bolts from the kitchen, holding the fabric of the shirt to her chest just as Eren walks in.
“Whoa…what the?”
He watches her go, then slowly turns to look at me, one brow lifting as he takes in the scene, my current state, and the tension still thick in the air.
“Dude,” he says, a smirk pulling at his mouth. “You do know it’s not a good sign when they run from you after, right?”
“Fuck off.” The words come out automatically, but there’s no real bite behind them.
Eren huffs out a quiet laugh but doesn’t push it. He just shakes his head, grabs a water from the fridge, and then steps back out, leaving me alone again.
She looked at me as if I’ve just validated every reason she has ever had to hate me. My chest tightens.
Fuck.
I stand there breathing hard, trying to catch up to what the hell just happened, what I just did, and what she let me do.
I don’t move right away because all I can see is the look in her eyes before she ran. And the worst part?
Even with that image forever burned into my head…and knowing I just crossed a line I can’t uncross. I’d do it again.
Every.
Single.
Fucking.
Time.