Chapter 38
chapter
thirty-eight
“I don’t need a reason to hate them. Wanting you is enough.” – Haven
HAVEN
Are you kidding me?
Stepping out of the very black and pink bathroom, I’m greeted by a familiar sight. Even before the fame, Cy was magnetic. Guys wanted to be him, while the girls wanted in his pants. But what they all had in common was the desire to bask in the glow of his presence.
I stop and stare at the twisting line disrupting everything in the club.
What is it about fan mentality that makes every other logical part of their brain shut down?
Smart, kind, and loving people are reduced to ignorant and absurd versions of themselves.
Pushing, shoving, throwing clothes, screaming about how much they love someone.
They don’t do it for anyone else. They don’t start fights on the street for any other reason, but put someone famous in front of them, and it’s like their lizard brain goes squirrelly.
I don’t get it.
I mean, I do, but I don’t.
I’m not immune to Cyrus or his pull. It’s a lie to claim otherwise. But I don’t change who I am to get his attention.
Crossing my arms, my eyes roam over the horde and then glance at the door. Will Cy see me if I sneak out and around the group?
“I’m sorry, Haven, but I’ve been instructed to make sure you go back to your seat,” Brett says sheepishly, blocking my only escape route. Ugh.
“Was I that obvious?” He lifts a shoulder and lets it drop. “You do know this is borderline kidnapping? That makes you an accessory.”
“Do you plan on filing charges?”
I roll my eyes. “No.”
“Then…I’m sorry. Truly. But…you need to go back. Mr. Vale can be very…grumpy when he doesn’t get his way.” Brett rubs the back of his neck.
“Grumpy?” I laugh. “Just say it. He’s a raging, motherfucking prick, shit head, asshole, arrogant and rude, with a cruel streak, and an ego bigger than a state.”
Brett laughs. “Sure, all of that.”
Despite my annoyance, Cy’s not wrong about the social media opportunity. God, I hate how he knows exactly how to manipulate a situation. With a heavy sigh, I pull out my phone and head back to the band. They are allowing the women to come in one at a time for photos and autographs.
The closer I get, the harder it is to keep my emotions in check. This is why I don’t stick around after the show and watch this ritual. The self-esteem I’ve worked so hard to repair takes it on the chin while the green-eyed goddess that lives in me raises her head.
Managing to keep my expression blank, I film the ever-growing line. The club’s bouncers have maneuvered it into a snake shape so they don’t block the view of the stage. Moving among the women, it becomes obvious that their hormones are amped up and their brains are turned off.
I go to every show.
I’d blow any of them right now, but Eren is my soulmate.
I buy all the merch and have made a shrine in my home.
I bought a sex doll and painted Ash’s face on it.
I’m twenty grand in debt for VIP tickets, but so worth it.
I would kill my husband to have Ledger, and they’d never find his body.
I want Vex to shove his cock down my throat while on a cliff overlooking the sea, just like my favorite book.
What in the ever-loving fuck?
Toward the front of the line, I snap some photos and then turn on the band’s live feed. Within seconds, there are thousands of people tuned in to see Venomous After Dark.
“Would you like a drink,” one of the waitresses asks. She is holding a tray of jiggly shooters.
“Thanks, but I’m good,” I say, giving her a small smile.
Earning a living in a place like this is not all that it’s cracked up to be. It’s extremely hard work. But as much as I hate the stereotype that comes with the word stripper or exotic dancer, I still don’t want to watch my man fantasize about another woman.
Guess it’s a good thing Cy is not my man.
My eyes drift to the devil himself and the latest girl fawning over the guys for a photo. I raise my arm so everyone on the feed can see what’s going on from a better angle.
“Are you sure you don’t want a drink? It might make this easier,” the waitress says and nods at the band. “I get used to reading people and I know you like the one that carried you in.”
Great, I’m now transparent on top of the humiliation.
“Apparently, I’m very obvious tonight.” She gives me a little smile. “Thanks, but nothing will help this. I appreciate the offer.”
“I’m Kandy with a K.” Kandy holds out her hand for me to shake.
“Haven. Nice to meet you, Kandy.”
“If you change your mind, it’s on the house,” she says, giving me a wink.
Before I can disappear into the crowd, Cy spots me, and I cringe as he calls my name. I don’t turn.
“Haven,” he calls out again. Shit. With a sigh, I pivot to face him.
Cy is smiling and waving me over as the next groupie in line is let in to get their photo. The girls at the front turn as a unit and scowl at me. I’m almost able to hear them mentally hissing. Lovely.
“Hi, I’m Mellanie,” the pretty woman says as I cross into the VIP area. “I love you so much, please marry me.”
That’s a standard convo in this situation, but then she straddles Cy’s lap. His eyes go wide with surprise as her arms wrap around his neck like a boa constrictor, and she slams her mouth to his.
He’s stiff and tries to pull back.
I see red. There is no follow-through thought when my phone drops to the floor, and my hands fist the back of her shirt and hair as I haul her off his lap. Mellanie lets out a scream while I drag her away.
“Get off of him,” I snarl.
“You bitch,” Mellanie yells as her nails slash across my face.
My fingers come back bloody when I touch my cheek, then I lose it completely.
I thought I understood rage. God knows I’ve been furious with Cy daily, but this is different.
There is something feral ripping open inside of me as the room and crowd become a blur.
All I see is her pretty face. Just another in the sea of onlookers, and yet I’ve just found my limit of what I can handle watching.
My fist connects with Mellanie’s jaw, and she stumbles back before falling to the floor. I follow, holding her down. I keep punching her as she tries to cover her face.
“You’re fucking crazy! Get off of me,” she wails.
I raise my fist to hit her again, when arms wrap around me and haul me off of Mellanie.
“Get her! Kick her ass,” someone yells.
“Don’t touch him again,” I roar, lunging against the arms holding me.
Struggling, I swear a litany of profanity that can make the devil blush as Mellanie pinches her nose.
“You’re crazy, I’m calling the cops on you,” she yells.
“Go for it!”
“Haven, stop,” Cy’s voice slowly breaks through the fog of rage clouding my mind.
My heart is pounding wildly in my chest as I blink and look around. It’s like an old western movie with everyone now involved in a fight. Fans, dancers, and servers are all in the melee, while the bouncers try to regain control. Kandy gives me a thumbs up and then jumps into the fray.
What the hell?
“We need to get out of here,” Cy says, as Brett and the club’s security hold back the group from rushing the band.
“My phone,” I say, pointing.
“I’ve got it,” Declan shouts and grabs it before a high heel can crush it.
Then we are all rushing for the exit. Outside isn’t much better. No one is fighting, but the bus with the band’s name splashed across the side has drawn a massive group of people. Cy keeps me tucked under his arm as we push our way to the bus.
The driver opens the door, and we race up the stairs.
I move toward the back of the bus as the guys laugh and high-five one another like this is some big joke.
The door closes, and the bus moves. This all feels like an out-of-body experience.
I don’t even recognize the person that I was in there.
My hand is still curled into a fist as my mind replays what just happened.
I’ve never been in a real fist fight before.
What the hell did I just do?
Cy looks at me with a wide smile on his face.
“That was incredible!”
He walks toward me, but I glare at him.
“Don’t! I’m done.” His smile falls. “I’m calling my father and moving to a different position.”
One at a time, the guys stop laughing and focus on me.
“No, you’re fucking not,” Cy growls, but I step back.
“It’s done. I’m over this shit with you, Cy.”
“Haven…”
“Stay the hell away from me.” I flinch away from his outstretched hand. “You ruin everything you touch. I can’t be near you and this tornado you create anymore. I refuse to be sucked up and carried away by you again. I want a normal fucking life and whatever the hell this is…it’s not normal.”
Cy’s expression darkens as if I’ve physically hit him. Turning, I step into the bathroom and lock the door before sitting down and bracing my back against it so he can’t get in. I can’t think straight right now.
“Haven, open up. Haven. Haven.” Cy pounds on the door, but I just put my head in my hands and block him out. It only muffles the sound. “Open this fucking door! You’re not running away again, Haven!”
I’m losing myself again. I can feel it, and I have to stop it before I don’t recognize what’s left.
CYRUS
“Don’t you dare call your fucking father. Haven, open this door, or I’ll rip it off its hinges.”
My fist hammers on the flimsy wood, and it rattles violently, but Haven doesn’t respond.
“Stop, give her time to cool off,” Vex says.
“Fuck that,” I say, sparing him a glance.
Ledger dares to grab my arm.
“Vex is right. Take a breath. You’re shaking.”
The shaking is only partly due to anger. The rest is something else entirely. I need my pills, but they’ll have to wait.
I snarl at Ledger. “Everything inside me is screaming to break through the door and force Haven to talk to me.”
“I get it, but you’re probably scaring the shit out of her.”
Ledger’s eyes plead with me to listen. Fuck, he’s right. I count to ten, step away from the door, and sit on the couch.
“Haven will come around and decide to stay. She’ll be bored without us,” Eren says.
I know what he is trying to do, but it’s not making me feel any better.