18. Colt – “Music is the only language in which you cannot say a meansarcastic thing.”-John Erskine
18
Colt
“Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing.”-John Erskine
Josh somehow managed to calm Abigail down, and they went back inside. I, on the other hand, told Heidi that I would call her later and that I needed to handle family matters right now. I had no intention of calling her, but she can brag to her friends and let them know that she screwed the quarterback of the Arizona Cardinals. That’s what most women cared about anyway. That and getting knocked up so they could get child support for the rest of their lives. At least women like Heidi, anyway. She was goalless. She had no intention of making anything of herself. She was just going to use her looks as long as she could until she landed a sucker to fall for her secret desperation. Women like Heidi used to be lethal, striking any chance they could with me, but not anymore. Those types of women couldn’t strike me with their bullshit if I was blind and just had a lobotomy.
I know I would have never fucked her if I hadn’t been drunk last night, but Namoi calling me repeatedly drove me to drink. I knew Naomi must have been drinking too because she always blew up my phone when she was under the influence, which made it worse. These days, she only called me to make me feel guilty for never putting a ring on her finger and wasting a year of her life.
I know I agreed to this arrangement because of her father’s death but I thought letting her down gently would be the best way to let her go. Now all she is doing is taking advantage of my kindness. I had to do something to get out of my head and into my body last night. Besides, I decided a long time ago after Bodie’s mom, I’m not going to succumb to women because of guilt and I don’t put up with drama anymore. Life was too short and I’m not going to make the same mistakes my father did. Once was enough.
After kissing Heidi on the cheek, purposefully not on the mouth, I pull away. I try to give her a clue that I’m not interested in taking this to the next level.
“I had a great time last night,” I say as she sits down in the driver's seat.
She flutters her eyes at me, and I never felt so repulsed after sex. It’s as if she couldn’t leave fast enough. Thoughts invade my mind as I wish I could take back last night. I was doing so well staying celibate and staying away from toxic women.
“I know you did.” She cups my balls and bites her bottom lip.
“Ah-okay,” I say, chuckling a little bit. Damn she’s forward.
“Just thinking about your thick cock inside me right now makes me wet.” She hums and starts rubbing her tits and exposing one of her breasts.
“God, I’m so horny, Colt, please. Can you just fuck me one more time, here? Now?” She dips a finger in her pants, and moans as she rubs her clit. And I would be lying if I said my dick didn’t get hard because she was fucking good at her job. She knew how to get a guy interested, and she was pretty to look at. Porn star hot. Bleach blonde hair, huge fake tits. Tanned skin, Blue eyes, manicured, prepped, and primed from head to toe.
She pulls out her middle finger, and it glimmers in the sunlight from her wetness. She slips her finger in her mouth, slowly sucking her juices off.
This would have worked on the younger me. I would say screw it, and crawl in that car and fuck her until she was screaming my name, but after, she would tell me that we should go inside so we don’t get seen and I would listen, and then before I know it, she’s at my place for a whole week thinking we are dating and out of fear of being a cold bastard like my dad, I would let her believe that we are.
“Sweetheart, You're killing me.”
“Please, Colt. You know you want to cum on these. We never got to finish the titty fucking session we had last night.” She exposes her breasts and starts massaging them with her hot pink painted manicured fingernails out in the daylight. Out in my driveway.
“Okay. Let's put those away, shall we?” I bring my hands up in an attempt to cover her, looking around to make sure no neighbors could see. This was considered more of a family community, so having her bare tits out in broad daylight was the last thing I needed in the tabloids.
“You told me how much you liked them last night. Said they were the best-looking tits you’ve ever seen.”
Jesus, help me. I needed to stop lying. Again, this is why celibacy was a good idea for me.
“And they are. That’s why I’ll call you later, Okay? I need to get back inside and talk to my brother about inviting people over here, unannounced, all the time.”
She pouts her lips. “Aw, okay. You promise to call me?”
Fuck I hated being that guy. Should I lie? Just lie, it’s so much easier. If I don't she may never leave.
“Yes. I have a lot on my plate right now, but I'll give you a call later. Okay?”
I had no other way to put it without sounding too much like a dick.
Please just go . Drive . All I want to do is go back inside and talk to Abigail. And ask questions about Blake and how they knew each other.
Did they date?
“Okay, baby. I understand. She grazes my dick again, and I almost want to slap her hand away this time
“I’ll be waiting, soaking wet for when you do.”
She blows me a kiss and starts rolling up the window. She starts the car.
Thank you, God.
She waves as she drives off, and I wave back, plastering on a fake smile. But as soon as she’s turning left at the stop sign, my smile fades and I jog back to the front door.
When I open it, I don’t see Abigail. I only see Josh and he walks over to me with a beer in his hand, handing me one.
“Where’s Abigail?” I ask him.
“She’s upstairs, she said she hasn’t eaten at all today so I made her a sandwich and then told her to go upstairs since she feels weird about eating in front of strangers, especially if she is the only one eating.”
I raised an eyebrow at him.
“Is it because she feels guilty eating my food?”
“No, I mean I’m sure that’s part of it, but-” he hesitates, not finishing his sentence.
“Look, on the drive over here, I was kind of hoping you would be here. I wanted to talk to you about a favor.”
I tilt my head back, looking at the ceiling. “What did you do now, Blake? And how much?”
“No, not for me. It’s for Abigail.”
I return my gaze to his.
“Abigail?”
“Ya-” he runs a hand through his hair. “She’s in a delicate position right now. I know Asher seems-”
“Asher?” I interrupt.
“It’s her last name. And it’s kind of my nickname for her. Did you forget how my adopted dad was in the military?”
“Right,” I made a mental note of her last name, in case I wanted to Google search her later.
“Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about letting Abigail stay here. Just for a little while.”
Josh and I didn’t even know we were brothers until a few years back. He was another product of my dad’s carelessness. I was beginning to wonder if my dad had more kids than he even knew about, but when Josh turned 18, his mom said he was free to find his dad, so he did. Then when we all found out Josh was Cliff's son, it didn’t even phase me this time. But even though we haven’t known each other a long time, we’ve grown close over the years. And part of that reason is I thought it would relieve the guilt I held inside for not getting closer to Blake when he was alive, but as time goes on I’m finding out that nothing fills that void.
Part of the reason I closed on this house years back was to give Blake a place to stay, since I knew it was getting bad at home, with Dad being gone and his new wife doing her own thing all the time. I was going to surprise him when he turned eighteen on his birthday, but I never got that chance. Images of Blake and Abigail together flash in my mind, along with her in a towel buck-naked in this house.
“Doesn’t she have a home?” I say, trying to deter this idea altogether.
“She does, but being there isn’t good for her. It’s part of why she developed-” he pauses again, choosing his words carefully. “A sickness.”
“She’s sick?” I hope he meant in the way I was sick in the head for thinking of her bare pussy in my mouth more than once ever since I caught her singing in the guest bedroom.
“Ya, kind of. I don’t want to tell you something that may make her upset. It’s her place to say. Just know, her home life sucks, and it’s volatile, and she can’t stay with her sister because she just had a baby not too long ago, and Abigail really can’t afford to give up all her savings since that’s what she plans on living off of when school starts.”
“School? Isn’t she out of school?” So many unanswered questions. Abigail Asher was a complete mystery to me. Josh sighs as if he’s getting impatient with my 101 questions.
“She wants to be a psychiatrist, so she still has med school to finish and then her residency. She wants to make something of herself. And I have never seen anyone work as hard as this girl does. But her parents don’t help her when she needs it. I don’t know why. All I know is I want to help her.” He holds his hands up in the air as if he’s pissed and just talking to himself now.
“Okay, spit it out, Josh. Where do I come into play.”
“You can help by letting her stay here.”
“What?” My voice carries since I almost yell when I hear the words of what I know would be a bad idea come out of his mouth.
“Colt, please. She needs some security right now. Not only that, she dated a crazy guy back in Cali and I’m pretty sure if he finds her, he’ll hunt her down or do something crazy. The guy isn’t stable. I never liked him from the start, but it took Abigail a year to finally see how dangerous he was and get away from him, it’s part of why she moved back.”
“Jesus.” I rake a hand through my hair and shake my head.
“C’mon Colt. You know you don’t need the money. You and Bodie go to Disney World or the Bahamas or wherever the fuck he wants to go during the summer anyway.”
“Hey, watch the tone,” I gritted my teeth. My son was my world, my saving grace.
“This lake house is a perfect spot for her to save up some money while she works before she has to return to reality. The girl needs a break. And I’m just trying to relieve that of her. She gets stressed to the point that she, well, she hurts herself.”
“Hurts herself? Is she suicidal or something.”
“No, she’s just her worst enemy.” He says before confining, “And I’m not the big-shot NFL player who has rental properties. If I did, believe me, I would be helping her out in a heartbeat.”
I gape at him out of the corner of my eye, trying to figure out what the hell he is talking about.
“She’s been through a lot, man. Seriously. Just cut her a break.”
I turn my whole torso to face him.
“If you are so concerned about her, why didn’t you date her then? What is it? Did you guys used to fuck in the past or something?”
“Shh, keep your voice down,” he looks back at the house. “No. Believe me, I tried, but Abigail doesn’t let everyone in, and a part of her picks guys that she knows will only hurt her because she’s a martyr, but once I knew I didn’t have a chance with her, it didn’t mean I didn’t like hanging out with her. Abigail, she’s-”
I stare at him, waiting for his answer.
“She’s what?” My brother has to have feelings toward her, or he wouldn’t go out of his way to protect her.
Did Blake have the same feelings?
“She’s like a bittersweet symphony. You're not sure if she will sting or shower you with love. Ya know? She’s unpredictable, mysterious. It’s what I love about her, but it also drives me crazy. Because I never can figure out what is going through that head of hers. She doesn’t ask for help easily. And now that I know she knew Blake, it all makes sense.”
“What does?” I ask, getting irritated with all his unsolved riddles
“Why she make a wish at 11:11 every day.” Josh says.
“Did someone say wish?” Abigail says, and we both turn to face her.
“Yup, sure did,” Josh walks up to her and takes the plate out of her hand.
“Thank you for that. You were right, I was starving.” She says.
“I know my Asher.”
My Asher, he just told me they never dated. Why would he call her his? And why does it annoy me to the nth degree if he does?
A faint smile crosses her lips, and it’s something I haven’t witnessed before. She has a beautiful smile, and it makes her whole face light up.
“Well, I better get going. I don’t want to intrude. I know you have company that you need to…tend to,” she looks at me with a smirk.
“No, wait, stay. There's something I wanted to talk to you about,” Josh looks over his shoulder. “What we both want to talk to you about.” He eyes me as if to say, you better not say no.
I can’t believe I was doing this. Did I want to do this? I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea, but I couldn’t ignore the fact that a part of me wanted to protect her too.