27. Abigail – “Music, when soft voices die, vibrates in the memory.” — Percy Bysshe ey
27
Abigail
“Music, when soft voices die, vibrates in the memory.” — Percy Bysshe Shelley
I might as well get drunk. I wasn’t driving, so drinking until I didn’t care sounded like a good idea. Of course, Josh has been mingling with every girl he sees.
Tonight has been splendid .
Not only has my date been preoccupied, but so has Colt. I swear, between him and Josh, I don’t know who’s more of a lady's man. Together, I’m sure the Killian brothers talked to every single woman here. Luckily, Josh sat by me when we ate dinner, and we chatted with two other couples who were friends with Troy. So, I was at least grateful that I didn’t have to feel awkward for one hour while I ate.
I swirl the drink in front of me with my straw. I was on my third drink. I was’t sure if my annoyance was keeping me from getting drunk, but I barely felt a buzz.
We took family photos after the ceremony, but after everyone started putting in their two cents about how each of us should pose and who should stand where, and the thousand retakes, no one noticed I snuck away. Not only was I trying to avoid my cousins, but my whole family. I always was uncomfortable around Naomi’s uncle, but tonight he was giving me dirty looks, and I wasn’t sure if it was because he had a permanent stick stuck up his ass or he was drinking.
He was always a dick growing up, but especially to me, which didn’t shock me. If my parents treated me like shit, why would my aunts and uncles be any different? They were blood-related, after all.
I was scrolling through my phone, pretending to look busy doing something when, in reality, all I was doing was comparing myself to my cousins and sisters in the photos we took at Jenna’s baby shower she posted. If I studied myself, I wasn’t that much different from them. Sure, I was shorter and had curly hair, but I wasn’t ugly. I mean, in a way, I would say I look similar. I was related, at least.
Ugh . You’ll never be as pretty as them.
I slam ones my phone on the table. I don’t know anymore who I look like nor should I care. What I do know is I was ready to leave thirty minutes ago. Perhaps I should tell Josh I don’t feel good, or, I freeze when I get a whiff of his musky cologne. Pine and cedar wood mixed with sweet pear. I stopped turning my straw around in my drink, the second I could feel him close to me. My heart starts to beat faster, and I’m not sure why I am nervous, but I also don’t want to look like a pathetic girl not enjoying herself.
Why couldn’t he spot me talking to a guy or doing something extraordinary?
He sits down at the table across from me. I’m not sure how this table got out here, but it was away from the tent where the dance floor and food were.
“Looks like you are having a blast,” Colt says with a smirk.
I grimace at him. “Weddings aren’t my thing,” I say with a sharp tone. “And you can’t be having too much fun either if you decided to join me,” I began swirling my drink again.
“Ya,” he tips his drink up. “Figured I’d join the club.”
“Don’t you have to drive?” I peer up at him tilting my head to the side. The DJ switches the song from Cupid Shuffle to Uptown Funk.
“Now that I got some food in my system, I’ll be fine. This is my first cocktail, and like you, I’m not a big fan of weddings.”
“Let me rephrase, weddings are fine, I just hate parties. I’ve never been a big partier growing up.”
“What? can't you get jiggy with Bruno Mars?” He smirks.
He makes me want to smile, but I won’t give in to his charm that easily. I’m sure that’s all the girls have been doing all night.
“Please, any other wedding would be more entertaining than this one,” I tell him.
“Ouch. That’s harsh.”
“Sorry, it’s just that,” I tap the black straw in my drink and lean back on my chair. ”Nothing .”
“Well
“Hey, hey..” He reaches for my hand, and I slowly lock eyes with him. He quickly pulls his hand away. I need to cut myself off after this drink. I keep imagining all these sparks we are having, and it will only make me look dumb when I snap to my senses.
He clears his throat and straightens his shoulders. “It’s obviously something. You can tell to me. We are kinda-roommates now.”
His lip curls at one end, and a little dimple forms, and I swear, time stops. Those damn succulent lips, the way his thick eyebrows hover over his eyes like…like he’s claiming me in one look, and I can’t help but savor it.
I play off these stupid butterflies that swarm my stomach when he’s around and pull my glass close to me, taking a sip.
“Nothing, it’s nothing. I hate taking pictures.”
“Oh, here we go. Do I need to pull out your camera and show you that that’s false?”
“No, definitely not,” I say quickly.
“Oh c’mon, you know you're proud of that, how can you not be?” He motions up and down with one hand.
Of course, he’s talking about my body, which I wasn’t mad about, but when it’s the one thing that drives your demons to keep moving this train bus, it tires out the wheels quickly.
“Ya, my body, sure, but it’s a whole other ball game when that’s all you have. All you hold on to make you feel pretty or hot.” I say with quotation marks.
He scrunches his face in confusion.
“You wouldn’t understand,” I murmur.
“Uh, ya, I don’t think anyone would because you're crazy.”
“Am I?’ I hold my gaze with his.
“Yes, and why are you trying to do this mind fucking thing. Is this part of being a zodiac freak?”
I can’t help but laugh, and before I see it coming, he snaps a photo of me.
“Hey!” I immediately reached for his phone. “You better delete that.”
“Never.” He taunts, pulling his phone to his chest.
I get up from my seat and try to snatch his phone from his grip. But he quickly holds his phone up way above his head. I'm touching his broad shoulders, trying to get to it, hoping he doesn’t notice how hard I grip them with my hand.
“Why don’t you just start telling yourself you are the most beautiful girl and you love yourself, like your cousin does.”
I freeze and stare at him in dismay. He didn’t say cousins, he said cousin, so I know who he referring to, Naomi.
“Just because I’m a jock doesn’t mean I don’t notice things or I can’t read people, even without knowing their zodiac sign.” He quirks his lip to the side as he looks down at me
“No, I’m just in shock you even said-.”
“It’s no mystery, I’m sure. She posts a million pictures on Facebook. Half the time, I had no idea she was posting them while we dated since I never get on social media like that, but when I did, I noticed she posted a bunch even when we weren't together. She just wanted to make us look like we were, so she kept posting pictures from months ago. Pissed me off.”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“Because it’s not my Facebook. And people believe what they want to see anyway. I don’t have time to waste my energy on that stuff.”
“Ya, true.” I stopped trying to grab his phone and looked down at his watered-down drink. “I’ll just be ready to leave whenever Josh is. I’m hoping h-”
“About that,” Colt says, interrupting me.
“He isn’t leaving anytime soon, so he told me to bring you home again since we are going to the same place.”
“He did?”
“Trust me, you don’t want to wait around for him. He’s…on a mission.” He says.
I shake my head. “Of course he is, that boy never stops. Okay, so when do you plan on leaving?”
“As soon as they cut the cake.”
“Dang, okay, old man,” I say with slight sarcasm. I know Colt was older than me. I haven’t done the math to know exactly how much older, but I remembered his mom said he was approaching thirty.
“I still have to think about Bodie.”
“You told me on the drive here your mom said he could stay there for the night.”
“Ya, I know, but I feel guilty. My mom is getting older and is already my go-to person when I’m traveling and swamped during football season. She watches him enough.”
“I’m sure your mom loves the company, besides, she seems like she loves kids. So I wouldn’t sweat it too much.”
“Are you trying to convince me to stay?” His tone softened and a small Smile builds. And if my heart doesn’t stop beating so damn fast at the sight of him, I will need to walk away.
“She does love kids, though. You have no idea. She gives me shit about Bodie being the only child all the time and how he’s going to be one of those weird kids if I don’t give him another sibling soon.”
“Well..” I say tipping my head to the side.
“Don’t you start?”
“I’m kidding. I have a sister, but we grew apart, so that’s not true. Siblings are unpredictable. Never know what kind of relationship they’ll have or if they’ll have one at all.”
“Tell that to my mom.” He takes a generous sip of his drink.
I chuckle lightly. “She’s just old-fashioned. Most people had like five or six kids in her days.”
“Do you want that many?”
“No.” I shake my head vigorously.
“You don’t like kids?”
“No, I love kids. But I would be happy with one. Two tops. As long as they were both boys.”
“Why only boys?” He takes a sip, eyeing me over the rim of his drink.
Because I wouldn’t have to worry about the cruel world making her feel ugly or not good enough growing up like I did.
“Boys are fun,” I say with a shrug.
The music shuts off, and I’m sure this is the part where they make their toasts and then serve the cake.
“Finally, I think they are about to serve the cake,” Colt says as if he read my mind.
“I’m going to use the restroom. I’ll see you over there.” I tell Colt as I get up from my chair.
“Okay, ya.” He sips his drink, and I watch him walk to the reception area. God, how can a man's back be that perfectly sculpted?
Seriously, the world was so unfair.
The bathrooms were inside the chapel area, so I had to hurry before I peed my pants. Rushing to the stalls, I opened the door, closed it, and locked it as if my life depended on it. I took my time scrolling on my phone and was in no hurry to return. I heard the doors open, and immediately, I could tell it was a posse of girls roaming through.
“I think that one picture turned out great.”
“The one by the waterfall? Oh ya, that one will be the best of all of us.” A familiar voice says.
“Jenna’s dress is so gorgeous. She’s so damn pretty.”
“I know,” Another girl says.
“What’s up with you and Colt?” Did you guys get back together?” A high-pitched voice chimes in.
“He’s been weird since we hooked up the other night,” Namoi says.
My heart sinks to my stomach. What? They did?
“You’re such a slut.” A girl teases, and they all laugh like a bunch of hyenas in unison.
“I know, but hello, can you blame me? Besides, if a girl wants to keep his interest, she better lay it on him good, if you know what I mean." The girls hoot and holler like they were cheering on their favorite team at a ballgame.
“He likes a deep-throat BJ,” Noami says in a seductive tone.
“Get it, girl!” all the girls squeal.
“What about your cousin, though? Didn’t you say they are living together now?”
“They aren’t living together. Josh, ya know his half-brother I told y'all about, asked him if she could stay there to help her out. Of course Colt being Colt, he said yes. So he’s letting her stay at his lake house while she gets her shit together. I swear she’s always been a problem child.” Naomi says as I hear the faucet turn on.
“Ya, but aren’t you worried they may, ya know.” One of the girls asked so softly that I barely heard her.
I hear Naomi’s laughter. “Definitely not. I mean, even if I found out he messed around with her, I'd probably laugh. She’s no threat to me. Not with a guy like Colt, he’s been with the hottest women alive. I’m one of them. So you think he’ll settle for a girl like Abigail? She’s like a troll compared to him.”
Laughter surrounded the room, and I choked back a sob. My heart pounded faster, waiting to hear what they would say next.
As I waited, my skin started to crawl. I needed to get out of here. The walls felt like they were caving in. I stood up, but right when I was about to flush the toilet, I stopped myself. I can’t let them know I’m in here, so I refrained. Please leave. Please leave.
I closed my eyes and started to imagine myself on a beach with open space to calm my nerves. I hated being in small, confined areas, and a bathroom stall is the worst place to be if you are claustrophobic. But my sister always told me to picture being somewhere like an ocean, with endless space. It worked when I was younger. I just haven’t had to practice it in a while.
“Anyways, I’m sure we will be doing our usual…playing games like we aren’t interested but by the time the night is over, I’ll be riding that dick and he’ll be screaming my name.”
The girls laugh as shuffling noises follow.
Thank God.
I flush the toilet as soon as I hear silence and slide my panties up, pushing the stall door open, panting for air.
I let the words replay in my ears, and a tiny tear runs down my face. But I wipe it away quickly as I speed walk with my phone, unlocking it to open up my apps.