Chapter Thirty-Six #2
Kara winced, swallowed.
“Keep trying, Kara. I’m not going to lose you.”
Kara nodded. She opened her mouth to speak, but words did not follow. She swallowed, then eked out, “Is that why Dad left? Because of me and Roland?”
Mimi looked up, folding her lips inside her mouth, trying not to cry.
“Dad…” She gasped a breath, tears tumbling down her cheeks.
“Dad went to live with Roland at an orphanage. Your dad had already worked there for many years. He made arrangements to live there with Roland instead of giving him up completely. He went to live there after Roland… He was afraid for you. We didn’t want to put him into an institution.
He was so little.” She shook her head. “I…we should have.”
“But why didn’t you just tell me?” Her words were weak.
Mimi looked down at the floor. “We moved right after Roland…Well, after the zoo—”
“Zoo? It was real. I knew it!” Kara crossed her arms, hating that her mother had lied to her all those years, and at the same time, loving her more for caring enough to do so.
“We were afraid to keep in touch. Roland was…sick. Something was wrong. He was so obsessed with you. But I’d only just adopted you two a few years earlier when your dad and I married. I didn’t want to…We loved you, both of you. We—”
“Adopted?” Who the hell am I?
Mimi looked away. “When I married your father, you and Roland were just babies.”
“What else don’t I know?” Reality rushed in like a tidal wave.
Despite everything, Mimi had loved her as her own daughter, even changed her life to protect her.
She wished she had the strength to process everything that her mother was saying.
The alcohol had somehow helped the pain, but she was still groggy.
She thought about her life, her mistrust of everyone, the way she had never felt that she really fit in.
The thoughts came like sharp angles she couldn’t make right.
She didn’t want to hurt Mimi, but still, she had to know. “Who’s my real mother?” she asked.
Mimi sighed. She bit her lower lip, blinking her tears away. “Jane Greer. She’s been institutionalized since you were very little. She neglected Roland, obsessed over you. When she tried to hurt Roland, Al had her treated, but nothing helped.”
“What?” Kara couldn’t grasp her words beyond her pain. Adopted? Institutionalized? “Who else knows? Is that why Ted treats me the way he does?” She clenched her teeth, tears pouring down her scratched and torn cheeks.
“No! Ted loves you. He just tried to pull you out of your shell. He didn’t know about you and Roland.” She looked away, and her voice softened, “Detective Grant knew.”
“Detective Grant? Is that why—”
“He kept the protective order going for all those years.”
Kara drew her eyebrows together, her jaw hung open. “Protective order? What are you talking about?” A hurricane of memories swirled in Kara’s mind.
Mimi flushed. “We had a protective order put in place when you were young, so that if Roland ever found you, he had to stay away, or we could…do what we should have done ages ago. We never needed it. He never came near you after the issue at the zoo. Your father warned him to stay away.”
“Dad? What was in the letter?”
Mimi nodded. “He told me he’d warned Roland, and that he thought it was best if we didn’t stay in contact.
” Mimi’s eyes welled with tears. “Roland listened. He stayed away.” Mimi looked away, as if she were remembering the years in question.
“It was so hard. I missed your father, and I’ve always felt guilty about Roland.
I always wondered if I’d done something to cause his behavior.
” Her shoulders shook with sobs. She wiped her nose with her sleeve.
“When I adopted the two of you, he used to go crazy if you were separated, but we just thought—twins, you know? That there was some connection there. But as he got older, he…he was too clingy. We’d find him in your bedroom, staring at you, sometimes in bed with you. I thought—” She clenched her eyes shut.
“Why don’t I remember anything? Nothing. I don’t even have a flicker of memory of any of this.”
“Because we made sure you didn’t. You were so young. I pretended it all never existed. When we first moved, you asked about him a lot. I told you it must have been an—”
“Imaginary friend,” Kara said.
Mimi nodded. “Eventually, the teasing from kids at school made you an outsider. You finally gave him up.” She shrugged. “As much as it hurt, it was such a relief.” Mimi took Kara’s hand in her own. “Kara,” she said.
Kara looked away. “I have no idea who I am.”
“We thought it was best. That’s why we moved, that’s why we ended our marriage.” Mimi had a faraway look in her eye. “Then your dad had his heart attack and passed away.” She turned back to Kara. “We loved you. We wanted to protect you.”
Kara turned back toward Mimi. “I know. I’m sure you did what you thought was right, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. It just doesn’t make any sense. He was a child. Why didn’t you get him help?”
“Help? Oh, we tried. We went through one therapist after another. There were so many different medications. Every one of his therapists wanted him institutionalized.”
“The zoo. That was him. I remember his scars.”
Mimi flushed. Fresh tears welled in her eyes. “It was an accident.”
Kara’s eyes drifted closed.