Chapter 19 Our Future
OUR FUTURE
“Ihave to talk,” Ford said. “I need to know how you feel. That you are doing this for the right reasons.”
Reenie should have realized his honor and moral code wouldn’t make this easy.
She ran her hand down the side of his face. A soft gentle caress full of tender emotions she’d never shown another person.
“Ford. My entire existence has been stuck in an echo chamber of doubts and insecurities. But with you, I don’t feel that way. I didn’t twenty years ago and I don’t now. Can’t that just be enough?”
He was searching her eyes, holding her close, but still not showing any signs of taking that next step.
“It should be enough,” he whispered.
“Is it because of my past? Because of Oliver? I haven’t been with him on a physical level in almost four months.
Sex wasn’t part of our relationship. It was more about his control over me.
Turning me into a servant who cooked and cleaned and waited on him.
He got off on that more than anything else. ”
Just another signal in the beginning. She should have left early on when Oliver hadn’t shown signs of wanting a sexual relationship, but she’d thought he was going slow. Giving her time.
Oliver was in his way. To knock down her confidence more. Not just physical abuse, but mental as well.
“I’m not judging your past,” he said. “I’m more concerned about your future.”
“Our future.”
The minute those two words were out of her mouth, she knew there was no turning back for them.
His mouth crushed hers.
She’d told him she wanted to feel like a woman and he was showing her now.
It wasn’t just her mouth that opened, but her heart. Her soul.
Every part of her being destroyed that chamber that ever thought to pull her back in.
With Ford, there was a strength in her she hadn’t known she possessed.
Courage clawing out and telling her she’d be okay.
She’d survived before, but she was going to thrive now.
One moment she was lost in his kiss, the next her feet had left the ground. He was swinging her up and cradling her in his arms.
She felt light as a feather as he moved the few feet to her room and laid her down as if she were a sleeping baby he’d been terrified of waking.
She wanted to tell him he didn’t have to be so careful with her.
So gentle.
It’d fall on deaf ears.
He’d have to see it himself. He’d have to experience it.
And maybe just once in her life she’d like to feel cherished. She knew beyond a doubt Ford would make her feel that way.
He never broke the kiss, his hands having moved to her sides bracing himself above. She missed the heat of his body and pulled him down closer.
When he wouldn’t budge, she lifted her legs and wrapped them around his back to bring him to her.
His mouth left hers, placing soft butterfly touches of a kiss on the corner of her mouth, down her chin, her neck, and then collarbone.
“I love seeing you in my shirts,” he said.
She smiled. “I love wearing them. When you aren’t here, I still feel your presence surrounding me.”
His large hands slid under his old baggy sweatshirt that she was wearing, touching her skin. His palms were rough, a few callouses from years of work on the farm both as a boy and now as a man.
It was another sign of strength to her.
His sweatshirt and her T-shirt were lifted inch by inch, her arms rising while he pulled it off of her.
“Sorry it’s not more attractive,” she said of her bra. Not sexy, but rather a plain white cotton sports bra strapping her in.
“I only see you. The real you.”
He removed her bra as quickly as he had her shirt, her breasts in front of his gaze, his eyes staring at her puckered nipples.
His thumbs ran over the tips, the sensations slamming into her chest, then traveling at warp speed to her core and landing between her legs.
Her eyes shut and a sigh escaped between her parted lips.
If she’d been watching, she would have had a warning that his mouth was going to replace one of his thumbs.
The minute the wetness of his tongue swirling happened, her hips ground against him.
“Slow down,” he said.
“I can’t. It’s been so long. Then all this time with you. Watching you. Wanting you. Needing you.”
He growled, and his mouth moved away from her breast, his hands going to the button on her jeans.
He made quick work of removing them and her underwear, leaving her bare on the bed for his viewing pleasure.
She wouldn’t be self-conscious with his eyes roaming over her.
He took everything in as he did when he entered a room.
Assessing and evaluating his next course of action.
“Don’t overthink it,” she said, a grin tugging at the corner of her mouth.
His smile lit up the dim room. He hadn’t turned a light on, just came in and left the door open so the glow from the living room was shining in, but she still saw his expression.
He slid down the bed, his lips kissing her hip bone, one side then the other, and moving lower.
She shaved daily because it was easier to get rid of it all. He seemed to appreciate it when he spread her wide, his tongue coming out to lap her up in one swift stroke.
She dropped her head onto the pillow after lifting it to watch him.
There was no reason to watch when she could feel.
He settled on her swollen bundle of flesh at the top, darting around with the tip of his tongue, testing her, tasting her, working her up higher than she thought it was possible to go.
“Stop wiggling,” he said, the humor in his voice evident.
“I can’t help it. Everything feels so good.”
“I know what you need,” he said, his hand sliding up her inner thigh, his fingertips moving some fluid around, then invading her deeply.
“Ohhhhhh,” she said, lifting to send him deeper. “Yes. Just like that.”
He was thrusting his finger in and out, her hips matching. It’d been so long since she’d had an orgasm and never when she had sex. Always during masturbating on her own.
No one ever took the time with her. Ever made her feel she could open herself up enough to let them in. Never cared if she received the same pleasure or was even worthy of it.
Half the time she faked it to not piss them off. She was good at faking things in life and sex was just one more aspect for self-preservation.
She was so close to coming now and he just stopped. Was this going to be a repeat of everything she’d experienced before? What did she do to turn him off? Was she not enough yet again?
He literally stopped and moved off the bed.
Her eyes popped open to ask him why, if she did something wrong, but her mouth stayed silent when his shirt was pulled over his head.
Oh. My. God.
His chest.
It was huge!
She thought his arms were big and defined, but that was nothing compared to the dual pecs that stood out as if an artist sculpted them on his body.
It didn’t end there.
There were grooves and ridges all over his waist. She always thought six-pack abs were a myth.
Nope. Not in her bedroom tonight they weren’t.
And that deep V that disappeared into a man’s jeans.
Ford had that too.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
Reenie closed her mouth, gulped and nodded her head.
He laughed. A husky sound that vibrated around the room.
He reached into his back pocket, found his wallet and pulled out a condom to toss on the bed by her.
She grabbed it and ripped it open. There was no way she was waiting for him to play with her more.
His jeans and underwear dropped and she saw that every part of his body was uniform in size.
“Come here,” she said.
He walked toward her, his dick big and swaying, her eyes not wanting to leave it.
He reached his hand out for the condom and she handed it over.
He covered himself, then got on the bed. “It will be fine,” he said.
“I know. I can’t wait any longer.”
Ford covered her again, his hands on the bed, his weight resting on them.
His mouth went to hers. The kiss started gentle again. Slow and steady and building the steam for the combustion to blow soon enough.
When she rubbed against him, ground, found any kind of relief she could, he nudged her knees apart more, she planted her feet on the bed and opened as wide as she could for him.
He found her opening and slid in fast.
“Oh God,” she said with a long moan.
It was a bit tight but in a comforting way.
He stayed still while she adjusted, his mouth by her ear. “Just relax.”
She couldn’t relax when everything inside of her wanted to bust out screaming to let her see the light.
Her hands went to his cheeks holding his face in front of hers, their eyes locked. “Make me come. Please.”
If anyone could do it, it’d be Ford.
Should she have put that kind of pressure on his shoulders?
No. But before she could take the words back, his hips moved out and in, her eyes fluttered closed and her back arched.
His mouth landed on hers, hers opened for him, his tongue entering her at the same speed as his hips.
She let him take over. Not that she could stop it, and she sure the hell didn’t want to.
She handed complete control of her body over to him knowing he’d never hurt her.
Never take advantage of her.
Never let her down.
She lifted her hips to meet him. Yep, that felt so much better when she thought nothing could increase her pleasure.
They found a rhythm together, his movements getting a little harsher, slightly deeper, and more intoxicating.
His fingers found hers, entwined them together and held them over her head.
Everything in her wanted to take, take, take.
He was giving it to her.
She was so close but just couldn’t tip that scale. She never could.
There was no reason for him to work this hard when no one else could get her there. But what she’d felt so far was more than ever before.
“Open your eyes,” he said.
She did. She hadn’t realized he’d stopped kissing her.
“You can finish,” she said. She’d hide her disappointment that she couldn’t reach the end, just like she always did.
“No. You’re going to first. Relax your body. You’re too tense trying to get there.”
“Huh?”
“Deep breath in and then out. You’re so tense you’re squeezing every part of me.”
She hadn’t realized that. She just wanted to feel what everyone else always seemed to.
He was giving her what she wanted. What she needed. Taking the time to make sure she felt the same as him.
She did what he said. Inhaled and exhaled. The whole time he was slowly sliding in and out of her.
When her body relaxed, it felt different. Better.
She did it again. Then again.
She arched her back and moved with him, telling her brain to continue to look into his eyes. That he was the one bringing her there. He told her what to do.
His body trapped her, him holding her down, yet every part of her felt safe.
There was sweat on his brow, his fingers gripping hers tighter now, but not enough to hurt, just to know he was in pain as he held back.
“Kiss me,” she said. “I need your mouth on mine.”
He did as she said, his tongue matching his movements like he’d done before and it was as if it was the last thing she needed before those flood gates opened, she started to screech and feel a pressure releasing between her legs.
Ford continued to thrust into her at the same speed as the spasms went on and on, then he was grunting and holding still while she felt him coming with her.
He dropped and rolled, putting her on his chest, his hand caressing her back.
Amazing what she’d been missing in life and the one person to give it to her was the one who she’d dreamed of finding for so long.
“Sorry I’m so much work,” she whispered.
“Reenie, you’ve never been work. You’ve just been my heart.”