5. Chapter 5 Freddy
Chapter 5: Freddy
“ T hanks for the ride,” Freddy waved to Justin as he climbed into his own car and checked his phone for the millionth time. It was almost seven. Sabrina should be awake by now, so why hadn’t Freddy heard from her.
He glared down at their message thread and imagined using the Force to will a new message into appearing.
Freddy: pulling into charlottesville now
Freddy: you ok?
Freddy: call or message me
Freddy: at my car
Freddy: r u ok?
He debated sending more messages but didn’t want to make an ass of himself. She’d probably lost power, and her phone had died. No big deal. Freddy thumped his head against the steering wheel and debated how crazy it would look if he drove straight to her place.
He plugged her address into his GPS. Fuck it. Checking on a friend wasn’t unreasonable, especially if it turned out she had power and hot water while his place was dark.
For the next ninety minutes, he alternated between watching for cops, watching his speedometer, and watching the estimated time of arrival on his phone slowly click backward. He told himself he needed to use her shower. He assured the universe that he should help with their work for the day. He did not let himself consider things that might have gone wrong, leaving her hurt and unable to call for help, or worse.
The second he rounded the final bend and caught sight of Sabrina’s home, the tightness in his chest exploded into full panic. Half of her house was smashed beneath her walnut tree, which must have been struck by lightning based on the splintered rip where the trunk shifted from standing tall to splayed horizontal through the side where her bedroom and kitchen were located.
He flung gravel and spun his tires as he sped up her driveway way too fast. Freddy couldn’t consider what he was about to find. He’d never make it inside if he did. Instead, he focused on action as he slammed his car into park and leaped out with the engine still running, screaming Sabrina’s name as he rushed to yank open the storm door so hard he knocked one of the hinges free.
“Sabrina,” he called again while shoving his shoulder into the back door before he’d turned the knob. His heart was throwing itself against his ribs, trying to escape the possibility of life without her.
“What?” she called back, walking from the front office into the makeshift living room. “Freddy?”
He froze and inspected her bare toes, her favorite Winnie the Pooh sleep pants, an old Nirvana t-shirt that he thought might be his, and her eyes, which were boring into him the way they always did when he suggested something insane.
A squirrel chirped and darted through the bushy part of the tree tangled in her kitchen, making them both jump. And then Freddy collapsed to the floor, numb. Gasping for air, he pulled at his hair and stared at her. Was she real? Or had he snapped and started hallucinating?
Sabrina dropped to her knees beside him and set her coffee to the side. He could smell it now. That was good, right? People didn’t hallucinate smells.
“Freddy?” She reached out for his shoulder but stopped just shy of touching him. “What’s wrong?” she asked instead.
“What’s wrong?” His voice cracked like a teen, but he didn’t care. Freddy shifted around so that he could grab her shoulders and feel that she was real.
“Hey, woah,” she cautioned as his grip pulled her off balance enough to fall into his lap.
“You’re real?” he asked.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” she countered as she adjusted herself to straddle him when she couldn’t pull free of his arms.
“I can’t let you go until I know you’re really real, and this isn’t a hallucination.”
“Um, okay.” She was back to giving him that I think you’re nuts, but I’ll humor you because you’re my friend look again.
Freddy nodded and pulled her into his chest. Her fingers danced along his ribs as she tried to figure out what to do with her hands. The scent of orange blossoms that he knew came from her shampoo but clung to her no matter how sweaty she got invaded his senses, and Freddy was finally able to breathe again.
At first, Sabrina’s shoulders were stiff, and she held her back rigid. But soon, she relaxed into him, allowing the band strangling his lungs to loosen even more. She was okay.
As his breathing settled and his trembling subsided (when the hell had he started shaking?), Sabrina dropped her head onto his shoulder and whispered in his ear, “Can you tell me why you’re so freaked out?”
It was enough to shatter the last of Freddy’s fears, and he laughed before giving her a final squeeze and kissing her forehead without thinking. “You never texted me back, and then I pulled up and saw the tree.”
He relaxed his grip on her, but Sabrina didn’t wiggle off his lap right away.
“You were worried about me?” she asked.
He tried not to scowl as he cupped her cheeks with both his hands and forced her to look at him. “Of course, I was worried about you. I was terrified you were dead.”
She cut her eyes to the side. “Oh.”
“Oh?”
“I didn’t think, I mean, it’s not that bad.” At least she had the decency to blush as she told him it wasn’t that bad while they sat on the floor beside the tree that was now inside her home.
Freddy gave her a stern look before shifting his gaze to said tree. Then he looked back at her and raised an eyebrow in question.
Sabrina rolled her eyes but admitted, “Fine. It is that bad, but I figured you’d want to check on your family or at least get some sleep first. How did you even get home this fast? I didn’t think you’d be back until this evening.”
“I caught a redeye into Dulles and took an Uber to Charlottesville,” he said through clenched teeth. “What, the fuck, do you mean, you thought I’d want to sleep before coming here when you haven’t texted me back, and why in the hell did you not text me? How long has it been since the fucking tree fell? Have you let anyone know that you’re okay? Why are you even here? You should have gone to my place, or HQ, or anywhere that still has a fucking roof!” Freddy could hear himself getting louder and louder, but he couldn’t do anything to stop it. He couldn’t hold back his fears or stifle his language either.
Before he could apologize, or yell at her more–he still wasn’t sure what would come out of his mouth next–she grinned the way she did before kicking his ass at one of their competitive video games. But then she leaned forward and smashed her lips against his.
If he’d been hooked up to an EEG machine, Freddy might have been declared brain dead at that moment.
He should have tangled his fingers in her hair, tasted the flavor of her soft lips before dipping his tongue between them, and pulled her close enough to feel just how happy he was to be kissed by her.
Instead, he froze, terrified he was about to lose the only person who truly saw him.
Before he could work through his fear to embrace the moment, she was gone. Off his lap, out of his arms, and standing on the other side of the room with her coffee mug gripped tight enough to turn her knuckles white.
Freddy brought his hand to his mouth, trying to hold onto the feeling of her lips against his.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I shouldn’t have done that. I think I’m just tired and maybe a little stressed.”
They both turned toward the tree as a bird flew in and landed on a branch.
Dazed, Freddy turned back to her and agreed, “Yeah, tired and stressed makes sense.”
“Can we pretend it didn’t happen?” she asked.
Everything inside him shouted that they could not. He wanted to remember that kiss forever. No, that wasn’t true. Freddy didn’t just want the memory of that kiss, he wanted to repeat it. One look at his best friend’s wide eyes and forlorn expression made it obvious that wasn’t what she wanted, though. At thirty-four years old, he’d just experienced his second kiss and been rejected for the second time.
“Of course,” he agreed, trying to fake a smile while his soul shattered.
“Still friends?” she asked.
“The best.” He gave her his signature lopsided grin, the one that told everyone Freddy didn’t take life too seriously or sweat over small stuff. This wasn’t so bad. They could still be friends. He just needed to smash all his feelings into a tiny puck and hide them deep inside, which shouldn’t be too hard, considering how much practice he’d had over the years. “Now will you tell me about how all of this happened?”
Sabrina frowned and pursed her lips like she didn’t agree with his answer, or maybe she didn’t believe him. But then she sighed and turned toward their office.
“I woke up around two and had to pee.” She gestured toward the uncrushed bathroom. “That was when I heard the tree come down, and the power went out.”
Freddy stood to follow her but stopped by the bathroom. “Wait, are you telling me that the only reason you’re alive is because you woke up in the middle of the night with a full bladder?”
“The tree might not have killed me.” She shrugged and continued toward her bedroom and opened the door so he could look inside.
He stared at the trunk stretching across her bed in the exact same way she’d have slept and turned to look back at her in awe. “You. It. That tree would have smashed your skull like a pumpkin on Halloween.” Oh fuck, he was going to hurl.
Freddy ran for the front door and made it out to her porch just in time to spew stomach acid over the half of the railing that hadn’t been crushed. Physically, he regained control of himself quickly, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever be the same again emotionally. Coming to terms with how close he’d been to losing Sabrina felt like an impossible feat.
He wasn’t there yet, even as she asked, “Are you okay? I can make you coffee, but it’s instant.”
“No, I don’t want any instant coffee. ‘Rina, you almost died. What the fuck?”
She cupped her mug and leaned against the doorframe. “Still here. Not dead. Oh, but my phone was on my nightstand, which is why I haven’t gotten your texts or replied to them.”
Freddy gaped at her. He could feel the morning breeze swirling through his mouth and knew he must look like a lunatic, but holy shit. “How are you just standing here like it’s all okay?” he finally asked.
“What choice do I have?” Her jaw flexed, offering a glimpse of her inner feelings, but that was the only clue that she was bothered.
“You should have…” he trailed off.
“Exactly,” she snapped before shaking her head. “It was pitch black, the storm was still raging, my phone is gone, and I don’t have any clean underwear. Even if I had somewhere to drive to, it wouldn’t have been safe.”
Frowning, Freddy corrected her, “You have my place. You always have my house.” He rubbed at his forehead and grudgingly admitted, “But I get what you’re saying.” Then he looked around and added, “You need to call your insurance company.”
“No shit.” Sabrina rolled her eyes. “But that’s easier to do with a phone .”
“Right. Sorry. It’s a lot to process, but you know that. Obviously.”
Sabrina’s shoulders relaxed. “I spent the rest of the night on the loveseat trying to rest, but it didn’t really work. I need to call my mom, my insurance, and Patrick. I figure I can work up at HQ to get the updates done on time, and I think I can salvage some clothes from my closet. It might mean spending the day in a dress–”
“–you hate dresses.”
“I hate trees in my bed, too.”
“Fuck!” Freddy wanted to rage and throw things or wave a magic wand and put her house back together. He didn’t want to work at HQ with his brother and Holly being all lovey-dovey. Then it hit him. “Come to my place. We’ll pack up all our computer stuff and set up our office there. You can have the spare bedroom, so you don’t have to worry about finding a place right away, and then we can still game together.” The more he spoke, the more excited he got. It was perfect.
“Your mom will not like us turning your very nice living room into a giant office. I’m sure Patrick will let me use one of the spare rooms at HQ.”
He was shaking his head before she even finished. “Holly and Patrick will make you crazy. Besides, there’s a reason we all work remotely. If you make me work under the same roof as my siblings, we won’t all survive.”
Sabrina cocked her head and squinted at him in thought. “ You don’t have to work there.”
Recoiling as if he’d been slapped, Freddy grabbed the porch railing for balance and almost toppled off the side when it wobbled without the other half to support it. Righting himself, he ground his teeth together in frustration. Fine. She didn’t want to work beside him. That was fair. Maybe she’d spent the last few years wishing he’d work from home and leave her in peace. Sabrina usually spoke her mind, but she was the kindest person Freddy knew. If she understood how much it meant to him to come work here each day, she’d have let it continue no matter how she felt about it.
He swallowed his hurt and nodded at her. Then he slid past her, careful not to accidentally touch her, and pulled out his phone to take pictures of the damage. Her insurance company would want to see them. They’d still send out their own representative, but seeing the extent of the destruction might help speed the process along.
Sabrina followed him in, and when he stopped in the bedroom doorway, she placed a hand on his back to shift him far enough to the side to slide past and head for her closet. Her touch sent sparks zinging up Freddy’s spine, alighting every nerve ending and sparking goosebumps across his arms. He ignored his reaction and snapped a picture of her standing in front of the busted bifold doors that used to protect her closet.
As she moved them out of the way, he got a look at everything that remained of her wardrobe. A little black dress hung, dripping wet, from a flimsy white plastic hanger that likely came with the dress. Beside it, he saw three similar hangers. Two had fancy, flowy blouses that he’d never seen Sabrina wear, and couldn’t see her voluntarily putting against her skin. The fabric looked shimmery, instead of soft, and he caught flashes of color streaks from where the rain made the dye bleed. The final hanger held something red. It was almost as short as the shirts, and the straps were just strings. He couldn’t see anything else, but his imagination wasted no time picturing Sabrina’s trim figure hugged by the vibrant red garment. She’d look hot as fuck. Then he pictured the way he knew she would squirm and wiggle with discomfort while glaring daggers at anyone who dared to stare at her.
When she went straight to that dress and ran her fingers over it, Freddy knew exactly what dress it was.