Chapter 16 #2
“Trace,” he repeated softly, as if testing the sound of it on his tongue. Just for himself.
I was losing my mind. “Wolfe, I need you to come for me, baby. I can’t… I…” My orgasm was a speed train running nearly off the rails, intent on overshooting its station and causing maximum damage. Now it was my turn to beg. “Please.”
I moved one hand to my mouth and spat before reaching for his cock and shuttling it through my fist. It was dirty and hot and desperate, both of us punching out panting groans and grunts as we tried to touch and feel and take more of each other.
The tight squeeze of his channel around me. The sweat-damp stickiness of his skin against mine. The stuttered, sucked-in gasps between broken groans.
“Gonna come,” he whined. “Oh god.”
As soon as I felt him tip over the edge, I let go—which was more lucky timing than control. My ability to hold back was laughable when it came to him.
Having Wolfe naked and desperate and whimpering in my arms was a new drug I was already addicted to, even though I had no business even taking the first hit.
Didn’t matter. I had, and now I was hooked.
As the effects of my orgasm faded enough for me to return to him, I pressed kisses all over his face and neck, murmuring praise for how well he did, how good he felt, and how I wanted to do that again as soon as fucking possible.
The corner of his lip turned up in a lazy smile. “Yeah.”
After a few moments, my softening cock slipped out of him, and I reluctantly stood to grab something to clean us both up.
Wolfe’s cheeks darkened as I wiped him down, taking a little satisfaction at how far up his chest he’d managed to come.
The memory of him as he’d arched beneath me, his head thrown back and mouth open, made my dick want to rally.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” I murmured, pressing a kiss to his sternum before turning around to toss the cloth into his tiny shower.
“You don’t have to say that stuff.” Wolfe’s voice had lost its breathless quality.
I turned back around to see him looking anywhere but at me.
“Scoot over.” I crawled onto the bed next to him and pulled the covers over us. Then I leaned on my side, facing him, propped up on one elbow. “Have you ever known me to be a liar?”
Wolfe’s forehead crinkled. “No. Of course not. I just meant… you know.”
I shook my head. “I don’t.”
“You might… say things. In the heat of the moment. To a… a sex partner.” He kept his gaze on the darkened ceiling of the van, like something there fascinated him. “Especially if you thought they needed… coddling, or babying, or whatever. I’m telling you I don’t need that. I know how hookups work.”
I let out an involuntary laugh. The idea that I’d have chosen him for a convenient, casual fuck, as nothing but a sex partner, was beyond ridiculous.
When I realized Wolfe wasn’t laughing, I sobered quickly.
There were a lot of things in Wolfe’s past that had contributed to his insecurity. All that bullshit at Thornton. The repercussions of his father’s fame. His own empathetic nature.
But some of his scars were ones I’d put there. By rejecting him years ago, even if it had been the right thing for both of us. By staying away as long as I had because I’d doubted my own resolve. By telling him he didn’t know his own mind when he’d kissed me in February.
“Okay, let’s talk about this,” I said. “First, telling you you’re beautiful isn’t coddling, Wolfe Marian.
It’s nothing more or less than the goddamn truth.
And I knew it as an objective fact long before I let myself acknowledge how attractive you are to me.
” I trailed a finger down the center of his chest. “Which, for the record, wasn’t recently. ”
His eyes came to mine, and he blinked at me through the darkness. “Wait, really?”
Fuck, this man did things to me.
“Very really.” I brushed a messy lock of hair from where it had been tangled in his eyebrow.
“And why can’t I coddle you a little? Have you always thought your sex partners—” I used his words deliberately, but they came out in a growl.
“—were babying you when they treated you with the care and consideration you deserve?” I ran a thumb over his bottom lip and asked pointedly. “Or is it just me?”
Wolfe thought about it a second, then let out a shaky breath. “Fuck. I’m starting to think you’re not the only one with an issue about our age difference.”
I smiled. “Uh-huh.”
“Shut up.” He poked the center of my chest. “You had the issue first. And worse. So.”
I grabbed his poking finger and pulled it up to press a kiss on the tip before pulling it into my mouth to suck. Wolfe’s eyes darkened, and he let out a murmured curse.
When I’d finally had enough, I pulled his finger out and leaned in to kiss his mouth. The noise of surrender he made when I moved my weight on top of him was the only invitation I needed to deepen the kiss.
We made out like that for several minutes until I pulled away and met his eyes again. They were glassy and fucked out, way too loopy to have any more concerns about our age difference or anything else.
“Will you let me stay here with you tonight?” I asked softly, not wanting to send him retreating into insecurity again. “I want to hold you while we sleep. Then I want to make you breakfast and spend the day with you.”
His eyes widened. “Really?”
I shrugged. “You did say we needed to go over family business, so…”
“Ugh.” Wolfe’s eyes closed, obviously remembering the white lie he’d told Jake. “Sorry I used you as an excuse. I just—”
“Hey.” I shifted some of my weight off him but kept running my fingers through his dark hair. “I’ve told you before, you can use me as an excuse anytime.”
He laughed, and it made something warm settle inside of me. “You said that back when I needed an excuse not to go out drinking with my friends in middle school, Trace. Not quite the same thing.”
“Eh. I was kind of hoping it wasn’t an excuse to avoid Jake so much as an excuse to spend the day with me. Maybe we could find a nice trail and pack a sandwich?”
I wanted time alone with him. Time to talk. To gently prod him about my Fletcher Coe suspicions. To see if he was ready to trust me with the truth.
“That’s perfect. There are a bunch of good trails around here,” Wolfe volunteered excitedly. “I read on the internet to avoid the actual Tater Heap trail. Loose shale and stuff. We can try Cold Pass Creek or Nickel Bend. Depends if you want flat or hilly.”
“Whatever you pick, baby. I’m just happy to spend time with you. It’s been too long.”
My casual words landed heavily, reminding us both of the obvious reason we hadn’t spent time together recently. Of our unknown future. Of the Derek-and-Jude-shaped elephant in the room.
We needed to discuss all of that. And we would.
Before Wolfe could retreat into himself, I pressed a long, lingering kiss to his lips. “Let’s get some sleep, and we can start out early. Sound good?”
He smiled up at me, happy and bright. “G’night, Trace.”
My chest felt like it housed one large, stupid, possibly drunk butterfly. I kissed him again and followed it up with another press of my lips to his cheek, jaw, and neck. “Night, sweetheart.”
I nestled against him and took a deep breath.
All I could smell was him. The remnants of our sex. The clean scent of his deodorant. The still-present campfire smoke.
All I could feel was him. The damp warmth of his breath against my forehead. The prickly scratch of his leg hair against mine. The circle of his fingers and thumb around my wrist on his chest.
And all I could think about was him. The endearing way he retreated into running his mouth when he was nervous. The sweet way he surrendered to me in bed with breathy pleas. The incredible talent he shared with the world every time he crafted a new melody.
The heart-clenching loneliness he had to be feeling, carrying such a heavy secret.
When I finally fell asleep, it was to my own desperate thoughts of how to make things work between us.
How to tell Derek and Jude that Wolfe Marian was meant to be mine.
That my loving him wasn’t a sign of my disrespect to our friendship or the years of support the Marians had given me. It was simply… how things were.
I couldn’t pinpoint when, over the last six years, it had happened, but I’d fallen for their son.
Completely and totally.
To the point where I was ready to risk the most important relationships—well, the second-most important, now—in my life to keep Wolfe with me and love him the way he deserved.
Waking up in Wolfe’s arms hours later to the sleep-soft sound of his gentle breathing told me the risk was worth it.
Reality would come crashing down later. But for now, I was determined to take advantage of my day with Wolfe’s sole attention.