Chapter 12 - Mara
There are probably a thousand ways people try to make you feel at ease, but nothing works on me better than a sugar hit.
Kit appears to know that, because she produces a huge cake with a flourish, like she knows exactly what she’s doing.
The slice is a brick of chocolate and cream with some kind of brittle on top, and for a second, I forget I’m supposed to be a hostage.
I’m just a girl with a fork, and everything else blurs out.
“You have to try the fudge layer,” Kit says, already halfway through her own. “It’s my favorite.”
Willow, who’s sitting across from me, smiles, and I see the tiredness in her eyes; it’s the kind of tired that can only be earned by someone who’s been up all night with a baby.
I still can’t believe she and Rowan have a baby, and I’m lost in thought for a moment about how she can trust a shifter like Rowan, who is so terrifying, as she chimes in, “We’re making it a rule.
No heavy topics until the cake is finished.
” Her eyes flick to mine, and I get the sense she’s not joking.
I nod and eat, because I’ve learned never to waste food, and because after the first bite I realize it’s the most delicious cake I’ve ever eaten, so sweet it almost makes me dizzy.
It’s been years since I did this, sat across a table from women, even ones I don’t quite trust. I surprise myself by wanting to laugh when Kit starts talking about her disastrous attempt at baking last week, and for a whole minute, I let myself lean into the warmth of it.
But the world doesn’t leave people like me alone for long.
I catch the way Willow is watching me, gentle but cautious, and I know the questions are coming.
The men are at the table across the room, their voices a low hum, but we’ve been left in here for a reason.
I steel myself as Willow sets her fork down, cake barely touched.
“So, Mara,” she says softly, like she knows I might bolt. “Can I ask you something?”
Kit snorts. “She’s going to ask anyway, just so you know.” She gives me an exaggerated eye roll, then scoops up the last of her cake and leans in to support Willow or me, I’m not sure which.
I swallow, and it sticks. “You want to know about the heat,” I say. “Or about Cade.” I don’t know which would be worse.
Willow surprises me by shaking her head. “I want to know how you’re feeling now. The medical stuff is interesting, sure. But you’re learning a lot about yourself, and it can’t be easy being here.”
I don’t answer right away, mostly because I haven’t thought about it beyond day-to-day survival. If I look at the big picture, I’ll drown. I pick at the brittle, running a finger along the sharp edge, and try to find a version of the truth that won’t make me sound insane.
“I feel calm,” I say, and it’s true. “Or maybe I’m just too tired to be afraid anymore.” I glance at Kit, who’s nodding like she might actually understand. I look at Willow and realize she gets it, too.
I suddenly realize that I’m tired of hiding who I am. It’s not information I’ve been eager to share, because the second I do, I know there’s no going back. But after what’s happened between us, I think I owe Cade something. Not the truth, exactly, but maybe a piece of it.
I look at my hands, and for a moment, I can’t believe what I’m about to do. “I should probably get it over with. All of it.”
Kit’s eyes go wide. “Now?”
I nod. “Now.”
I stand up. My legs are shaky, but I force myself to walk across the room.
The men are still at the far table, their laughter fading as I approach.
Cade is the first to notice, and he straightens, expression sharpening, and in a heartbeat, he’s up and moving toward me, as if he knows I need him.
Maybe I do. I stop just short of him and tip my chin up, daring him to stop me.
“I need to say something,” I say. My voice doesn’t waver.
For a second, nobody moves. The alphas are all looking at me now, and Cade’s hand is on my shoulder, steady but not possessive. I can feel the weight of every eye, the scent of their curiosity, but I can’t stop now.
“I wasn’t honest before,” I say, loud enough for everyone to hear.
“Not really. Not about who I am, or what I was doing with the Order.” I swallow, and it scrapes my throat raw.
“I didn’t just work in the bar. I wasn’t just a girl drifting through.
” I look at Cade, then at Rowan, Alder, Brooks, and Kaiden, the whole lineup of them.
“I infiltrated the northern compound three years ago. I spent a year documenting their routines, their contacts, and the back channels they used to get weapons and supplies. I took everything I could, every name, every address, every secret, and I sent it all to the local shifters. Didn’t matter.
I wanted to burn them down from the inside. ”
Brooks lets out a low whistle. Rowan’s expression doesn’t change, but I see the way his jaw sets.
“I ran the network until last year. I set up the shipment that got intercepted in the pass. I was the one who planned it, who told them about the weak spot in the fence. I made sure the supply was rerouted. I set up the ambush. They lost the entire compound that day, and nobody ever figured out why.” I pause to let it sink in, and then I hear my heart thundering in my ears. “I did that. Alone.”
No one speaks. Brooks’s smirk has vanished, and even Alder has nothing to say.
Cade’s hand tightens on my shoulder, but he doesn’t try to stop me.
Kaiden looks at me like he’s never seen me before.
The only person who doesn’t look stunned is Rowan, who just gives a slow, deliberate nod, as if he saw it coming all along.
I keep going because now that I’ve started, I can’t stop.
“I didn’t do it for the shifters, or for any cause.
I did it because my parents were killed by hunters.
” The words are out before I can swallow them.
“When I was eleven, they came to their warehouse and set it on fire. I lost everything and swore I’d never let it happen again.
So I found the group responsible and spent the last few years infiltrating the hunters and taking them apart.
” I look at Cade. “I’ve spent my life trying to find the men who did it, but all I have are a couple of names, so I’ll keep going until I find them. ”
There’s a moment when I think no one will believe me.
That they’ll laugh, or say I’m just a girl with a grudge, and what could I possibly have done to hurt the Order?
But I see it in their faces, especially Cade’s.
The way his eyes take me in, the way the rest of the room is holding its breath.
They believe me, and it changes something in the air.
“I didn’t know about the blood stuff,” I say, my voice small now.
“A while ago, they started calling me to the clinic more. Said I was a universal donor. They started me on vitamins and then regular blood draws. I didn’t question it because I wanted to keep my cover, but the closer they watched me, the less room I had to move.
I was working on that.” I force myself to look at Cade.
“I was going to bring the whole thing down. I just didn’t count on getting handed off to you before I could finish it. ”
The silence is uncomfortable now, the kind that makes my skin itch. I feel like I’ve stripped myself down to the bone, and I want to crawl out of my own body. Cade’s thumb moves in a slow circle on my shoulder, and it helps, but I know I need to keep going.
“I think the reason they handed me over to you,” I say, “is because they knew I was an omega, and maybe they thought sending me to you would solve their problem and start you fighting among yourselves instead. Omegas send you a bit crazy, right?”
Brooks finds his voice first. “So, you’re saying you single-handedly took down a whole hunter compound with nothing but spite and brains?” There’s a kind of awe in his voice, and I catch the way he looks at me with a respect I’ve never seen before.
I nod. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
Kaiden shakes his head, like he’s trying to make sense of it. “So, why keep going after you took out that first group?”
I don’t have a good answer for that other than the unpalatable truth: “The men who killed my parents weren’t in the northern compound, so I kept going. I’ve got nothing else.”
The room is silent. Even Kit, who never seems to stop talking, just stares at me, her fork frozen in midair.
“I think they knew,” I say. “About me. Not just the omega stuff, but what I was doing. The last couple of months, things shifted. They were watching me all the time, and the blood draws got more frequent. The vitamins were changed twice. I stopped taking them after Cade took me, but I didn’t notice a difference, not straight away.
” I look up at him. “I think they were experimenting. Not just on me, but on who I was to them. What I could be to you.”
Willow is the first to speak. “You still have the vitamins?”
I nod, reach into the inside pocket of my jacket, and slide the bottle across the table.
Willow snaps on gloves from her bag, turns the bottle in her hands to read the label, then pops the cap to sniff the contents.
Her eyes go wide. “This isn’t anything I’ve seen before,” she says.
“There’s a powdery residue. I’ll run a test tonight. ”
Rowan finally leans back, looking at me like I’m a new kind of animal, one he’s not sure whether he wants to hunt or tame. “You’re saying the Order was dosing you. That they might be doing it to others, too.”
I nod. “I think they’re using the blood program for more than just donations. They’re searching for something. Omegas, maybe, or something else.” I let the implication hang.
Kaiden’s voice is barely above a whisper. “They could be weaponizing it.”
I meet his eyes, and he flinches a little, like he wasn’t expecting me to look so sure. “I think they already are.”
The meeting breaks up not long after, but the air between the alphas is different. There’s no dismissive laughter this time, no backslapping or snide jokes. They’re all thinking hard, and I can feel the ripple of new calculations behind every glance they send my way.
Cade doesn’t say anything as he guides me out.
His hand on my lower back is hot through the jacket, more anchor than restraint, and every cell in me is alive with the memory of what he did to me the other night, of what I let him do.
I try not to think about it, but the memory rides shotgun, a constant thrum under my skin.
I half expect him to scold me for not telling the truth sooner, or to ask why I kept it all secret, but he doesn’t.
He just moves me through the cold air to the truck, opens the door, and waits for me to climb in.
We’re both silent as he gets in, starts the engine, and sits with one hand on the wheel, but doesn’t drive. He just sits there, staring out the windshield. I watch him in profile, the hard set of his jaw, the way his eyes go distant when he’s thinking.
I can’t take it. “Are you mad?” I blurt before I can stop myself. “That I didn’t tell you everything?”
He turns, blinking like I surprised him.
“Mad? No.” He shakes his head, then rubs his hand over his face, and for the first time since I met him, he looks older.
Not in a bad way. More like he’s lived ten lives and each one left a mark.
“I just…Jesus, Mara. You’re fucking incredible, you know that? ”
I laugh, and it comes out jagged. “Is that what you call it when someone’s a professional liar?”
He looks at me dead-on, his eyes gone dark blue. “No. I call it being a survivor. I call it doing what you need to do.”
I don’t know what to say to that, so I turn to the window, watching the driveway empty out. The silence is comfortable, but I can feel him watching me.
He leans over suddenly, and before I know what’s happening, he catches my chin in his hand and kisses me. It’s not like the last time, because this one is soft, almost hesitant, and it takes my breath away. He pulls back just enough to look in my eyes.
“We’ll figure this out, okay?” he says before putting the truck in drive.
I nod because I want to believe him, but deep down, I feel like I’ve just given up my only shot at getting back to the compound and finishing my mission.