Chapter 4 Rowan
"Wake up, Rowan," Cade said, gently jostling my shoulder.
I blinked groggily, wrapping my arms tightly around myself as bitter cold air rushed in through the convoy door. Cade was holding it open, waiting for me to move.
The sky was black, scattered with small, glittery stars.
We must’ve been driving for the better part of a day if night had already fallen.
I couldn’t believe I’d slept through most of it until I remembered swallowing my mood control pill right before we hit the road.
Those pills kept me level, foggy, and numb.
I hated them because they turned me into a shell of myself.
But I didn’t protest taking them for two reasons.
The first was guilt. Crushing, suffocating guilt over what I’d done.
Looking back, my escape attempt seemed juvenile. Even if I had made it out, Arca would never have let me go. Now that they knew I existed, they’d hunt me to the ends of the Earth. Omegas were too valuable to let slip away.
Eventually, they would have found me and dragged me back. When they did, who knows where they would have stationed me. Jayden and Finn made it clear there were packs far crueler than the one Command had assigned me to.
Luckily, Cade lied to his father about my escape attempt, worried the truth would buy me a one-way ticket to a breeding facility. That was Command’s solution for omegas who wouldn’t submit. Feral or not, Arca still considered their wombs usable.
I shuddered at the thought.
All I really managed to do was put myself in danger and shatter whatever trust I’d built with my unit. My guilt multiplied tenfold because of Killian. He wouldn’t even look at me now, avoiding me like the plague and barely tolerating being in the same room as me.
Something told me that aside from Cade, Killian had never truly let anyone in, especially not a woman. My betrayal cut him deeply, and I wasn’t sure he’d ever forgive me.
The second reason I didn’t protest the sedatives was fear.
I was terrified of the creature clawing just beneath my skin, threatening to tear its way out. The wolf was feral, unrestrained, and hungry. A version of myself that didn’t feel like me at all, but was still undeniably mine. I couldn’t control it or predict when it would rise and take over.
And the scariest thing? A small, dark part of me liked it.
I relished the power my wolf gave me. It felt damn good to tear apart the ones who had tried to touch me without permission, to take back the power those alphas thought they could steal from me.
The assault should have traumatized me, but watching my revenge splattered across the floor was…
surprisingly therapeutic. Their painful deaths, and the knowledge that I had killed them, quieted something that was hurting deep inside of me.
When I transformed, the world sharpened around me. Every smell was more pungent, every sound clearer, every sight vibrant and bold. My senses didn’t just come alive; they ruled me in an intoxicating and addictive way.
Whatever had been dormant inside me was waking up now. And it wasn’t soft or submissive.
It was rage.
Instinct.
Blood, teeth, and raw power
My basest self was unleashed, and she scared the hell out of me.
So I swallowed the pills without complaint every damn time. The fog would roll in, and the numbness would drown the wolf out. Sedation was safer than letting free whatever the hell I was becoming. Safer for everyone, myself included.
"Rowan, hurry up. It's cold, and you don't have a coat on," Cade said impatiently, drawing me from my thoughts.
I stepped out, and he shut the door behind me, his hand settling at the base of my neck as he guided me toward a nearby building. That was how we moved now, always. Cade’s grip on my neck, steady and possessive, as if he thought I might bolt if he let go for even a second.
As we walked, I took in my surroundings.
Ahead stood a utilitarian building. Its architecture was barrack-style, long and narrow with a low, sloped roof and a door at the front.
Identical structures spread out, lining the grounds in neat rows.
They weren't much to look at, but unlike the living quarters in Falcon City, these were freestanding and self-contained.
Each unit had its own entry, walls, and small patch of space.
Behind me, a much larger, modern-looking structure stood out from the barracks. Sleek lines, reinforced glass, and polished steel glinted in the night. It was clearly the center of operations here and probably housed medical, science, fitness, and the mess hall.
What struck me the most was what wasn't there.
There were no chained link fences, no barbed wire, no guard towers, like there had been in Falcon City. The only things that surrounded the compound were trees, as far as the eye could see. At first, it felt peaceful, open, and free.
But then, as I gazed into the canopied woods, an eerie feeling overtook me. The forest was still, too still. Nothing moved, not an animal, or even leaves in the wind. Motionless branches stretched into the night sky like claws. The forest seemed cursed with a dark spell that lingered in the air.
“There’s no fence… Don’t you worry about those things… I can’t remember what Killian called them. Direhogs?” I asked Cade as I fidgeted with the hem of my shirt.
“They’re called direworgs. And normally, no. They used to stay far away from the base and the wall. There was no need for a fence.”
“And now…?”
“Now there is. Before Command transferred us, the science department had been prototyping a new fence. While we were in Falcon City, they installed it around the perimeter of our campus. It’s invisible, buried under the ground. You won’t see it, but it’s there.”
“If you can’t see it, how is it a fence? How does it keep those creatures out?”
“I don’t know exactly how it works, just that it does.
Humans can cross without even noticing it.
The system recognizes our signatures. But when a creature tries to cross, it’s neutralized.
If the tests go well, the plan is to run the fence along the entire wall, so all of New Arca will be impenetrable. ”
We had reached the building, but I halted. “Why are you telling me this?” I asked as I shrugged his hand off my neck and turned to him.
“What do you mean, Rowan?” Cade said in an irritated tone.
“You never tell me anything. I’m always in the dark when it comes to the details. Why did you just tell me all of that?”
Cade’s expression darkened, his tone sharpening with an edge of gravity. He leaned over me, tilting his head down, as I craned my neck upwards to meet his narrowed eyes.
“Because you need to know.”
A chill went up my spine at the seriousness in his voice. He went on:
“The Border Front is not like Falcon City. There are things out here that can and will kill you. You need to know everything. How things work here, how to defend yourself, and how to stay safe. You need to listen and learn. What happened in Falcon City cannot happen again. Do you understand?”
I swallowed hard and nodded.
"Good."
That was always Cade’s signal. One short, clipped last word. Conversation over. Wonderful talk.
His hand returned to the back of my neck as he turned me toward the stairs.
We climbed together, moving in sync. As we reached the entrance, a keycard swipe on the exterior caught my attention.
That was standard enough, designed to keep unwelcome visitors out.
But then, as we passed through the threshold, I saw the second one mounted on the inside, just beside the handle. This one kept me in.
I sighed as he swiped his keycard and typed in a password, shielding the keypad with his hand.
The door clicked shut and locked. He turned back to me with a smug expression, holding up the keycard before sliding it into his pocket.
The message was simple. No one trusted me anymore, and for good reason.
I rolled my eyes at him, surveying my new home while he busied himself unloading a few items and tidying up the space. Cade was a neat freak, and it was obvious Ryker, Talon, and Killian had already moved in, unpacking like a whirlwind.
Boots lay scattered by the doorway, disassembled gun parts littered the kitchen table, and a half-finished drink sat on the counter.
A pack of Ryker’s toothpicks sat beside it, along with an unopened pack of cigarettes, even though I didn't think any of the guys smoked. A few mission files and stray pieces of comms gear were tossed across the couch cushions, and a pair of tactical gloves lay crumpled near the TV stand. I was sure Cade’s OCD was driving him to pick up before the mess got too far out of hand.
I tried to get back into Cade's good graces by helping to tidy, moving the cup to the sink and sliding a few stray military manuals back onto a bookshelf.
I could feel his eyes on me, so I turned, expecting one of the soft smiles he had once reserved only for me.
Instead, his face was stone, his expression unreadable.
Despite my many apologies, he still wasn't thrilled with me.
At least he was speaking to me, unlike his brother.
As I continued to clean, I investigated the quarters.
The furniture was nearly identical to the furnishings in the Falcon City apartment: a simple black leather couch and armchair, a wooden dining table with chairs, and a TV atop an entertainment center.
It was as if Arca had a checklist and furnished all enlisted quarters with the same basic items.