33. Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter thirty-three
B lossom takes a step back, gripping the flowing skirts of my dress. Janly crowds me from behind and we huddle like that for a moment, trapped in the in-between.
‘Wait here,’ I whisper, my feet moving before my head can catch up as I push myself past Blossom gently. Quietly.
She clutches at my arm and I expect her to try and stop me. But when I look back, the fear in her features isn’t only for us. River is there, too. I can see it in how her gaze keeps flicking towards where we’re supposed to meet them. As she reaches for the phone in my hand and turns the light off, I breathe a shuddering exhale. Letting my eyes adjust to the new dark, I gather up my skirts close to my body, the frame digging into my thigh, and creep forward, heart in my mouth.
Davorous laughs softly. ‘I don’t know why you really thought you’d get away with it.’
I can see their shapes now, dark masses against the night sky, the stars above them illuminating the space ever so softly.
‘Granted,’ he continues, ‘it took me longer to work it out than I would have liked, but here we are.’
‘Here we are,’ Cortane repeats, ‘about to leave. But it’s been so lovely chatting with you.’
‘By all means,’ Davorous says. ‘You know as well as I do, portalling through those wards will only make you easier to find.’
Quillian’s face is hard when I can finally make out their features. Nix, River, and Quillian are focused only on Davorous. Cortane leans her shoulder against a tree, looking completely bored.
‘Only if we don’t take you down first.’ She shrugs. ‘And who says we can’t disable the wards?’
Davorous glances over his shoulder, back towards me. The action gives away his doubt and I duck behind the tree I’ve been standing against, holding my breath against the slim hope he didn’t see me.
‘Come out,’ Davorous says with more certainty than I’d like, and I press myself harder into the slightly damp bark.
But if I stay, he’ll come looking and I can’t risk him finding Blossom and Janly in this halfway place between the prison and escape. So I suck in a breath that tastes of the island forest and step into the small space they occupy.
Quillian’s gaze doesn’t leave Davorous but his shoulders tense when I’m in view.
‘You need to learn to say no, Lu,’ Nix says gruffly, ‘even if it’s silently.’
Davorous’s eyes widen and then roll. ‘I should have fucking known. What is it about Karaylia women find so irresistible? They’re good for one thing only. Those wings will cut you down as quick as they’ll caress you, you know. Is your friend with you?’
I say nothing. I’m not even quite sure what’s happening. But the distance between Blossom and Janly starts to feel far too close to Davorous, and yet too far from the others. From where someone could protect them better than me. A sharp breeze whips my face as Davorous appears before me faster than I can blink. Cortane flashes between us, her back to me.
Quillian draws a sword I hadn’t seen him carry and Nix palms his knives. Weapons I can only assume were easier to get here than guns.
I stumble back a step, my heel catching in my dress, and Davorous pops into the space before me again, leaving Cortane behind. A surprised scream catches in my throat and I trip, slamming into the earth underneath me.
He’s a Shaide.
‘You won’t bring the wards down—’ he starts, teeth gritted.
I scramble away from him in the dirt, the sharp pain in my thigh giving away what’s happened to the small frame in my fall.
Tall, dark bodies crowd around us but all I can see is Davorous’s face. His dishevelled, pale hair falling across his forehead.
‘You have one second to step the fuck back,’ Quillian grinds out and I stop moving.
‘I’ll die before I let you loose down there again,’ Davorous says.
‘Okay.’
Hot liquid sprays my face and throat, dripping down my front.
My breath comes in short bursts, the sensation cold on my nostrils as they fill with a metallic scent.
Davorous’s mouth drops open and his eyes roll back in his head. I watch as, in slow motion, his knees start to fold and his body gives way, toppling him to the ground. Wet, gargled noises fill the space. White starts to press into the sides of my vision but I can’t look away from Davorous’s dying form.
River ducks to me, dropping to his knees, and takes my face in his hands.
‘Deeper, Lu,’ he says. ‘Breathe deeper.’
Slowly the white recedes from my vision and I shift my focus to River’s face. I nod, answering the question there, and he steps back towards Blossom and Janly, who I can see have joined us and now watch with wide eyes. I let myself stare at Quillian’s black boots for a long moment as I try to collect myself. Gradually taking in the black pants that are fitted in the thighs, the belt that’s covered in things I can’t comprehend, and the tight, short-sleeved shirt he wears. The top of his tattoo on full display across the side of his neck. The sword still hangs in his hand, blood coating its blade, and I look quickly back to his chest.
He stands completely still.
The others talk quietly, filling in Bloss and Janly, but I’m conscious of Nix’s watchful gaze as I finally allow myself to look at Quillian’s face.
But whatever I was expecting to see – was frightened to see – it’s not there.
My chest twinges to find he still looks like him. His face is the same when he looks at me. But a sharp pain radiates along my ribs at the hint of vulnerability. Like he’s waiting for my judgement. Again.
Slowly, I hold out my hand for him to help me up, and he snatches it from the air, lifting me to my feet, tugging me against him. He drops his head into the crook of my neck and inhales deeply.
‘I’m sorry,’ he whispers.
Winding my hands up the back of his neck and into his hair, I shrug my shoulder so he lifts his head up to face me. His eyes are almost black in this light but I wonder how much of it is something else. Softly, I press a kiss to his lips before breaking away. The throb in my leg reminding me we have other things we need to be focusing on.
‘We found how to bring the wards down,’ I say, digging into my torn dress to find the pocket. ‘But it may not be worth anything now.’
A trickle runs down my thigh as if to confirm my suspicions and I tentatively pull out the broken frame. I shift my weight off my injured leg. Quillian tracks the movement but I ignore him, carefully collecting the broken shards of glass in my palm before depositing them in a pile on the ground.
‘Jan,’ I say quietly as I remove the drawing from the shattered frame, its paper thick between my fingers.
I hold it out to her and she gasps as she takes in the gash in its centre. Carefully, she runs her thumb backwards and forwards over the parchment but her face falls.
‘I–it’s broken,’ she says.
Nix curses and a weight settles in the bottom of my stomach.
‘Okay,’ Blossom says. ‘We knew this was a strong possibility. Tonight doesn’t change. There’s no going back – we need to leave.’
I could swear a small smile dusts River’s face, but somehow he still looks sad at the same time.
‘You shouldn’t be coming on the run with us,’ Quillan says, still looking at me.
Nix throws his hands in the air, knives still held in his palms.
‘You’re joking. Now you want to see sense? Now ? She’s just seen you in action. Knows who we all are, has probably burnt the fucking bridge between her and that fucking prison to the sun and back, and now you’re suggesting we leave her here to deal with all of this bullshit on her own? I don’t—fuck. I don’t even have the words for that, Q.’
I look between them for a moment, stunned into silence.
‘Nix,’ I start. Somehow I always start with him. Calm him down and the rest will follow.
‘No, Luka,’ he says. ‘Don’t fucking placate me. You—’ he draws a big breath. ‘You deserve better than any of this. You all do,’ he says looking at Blossom and Janly.
‘So do you.’
I glance at Janly who’s quietly taking us all in, and a little memory creeps into the back of my mind. But it’s the thought of all the choices taken away from us that starts the building of pressure in my head. The family I wanted to have before I was summoned to duty. The time I could have spent getting to know Akira and Zale’s children. That, instead, I was tasked with spending this time serving people who should barely be surviving for the things they’ve done. The magic I imagined would be my own, only to be literally fed something to stop me reaching my full potential. Now, I have to believe that the decisions that have led me here have been the right ones.
I have to believe that I can ease the pain Nix and Bloss have seen and give them a brighter future. To ease the burden River carries of looking after Nix. That Claudius didn’t choose death for nothing. That Quillian can be free of the weight of responsibility for everyone around him.
I know I will die trying to make all of those things true.
‘The Hunters will likely be out soon,’ I say, clearing my throat and hitching my dress so I can look at my thigh. I pinch the piece of glass that sticks out, Quillian moving forward to tear some strips from the already torn fabric of my dress. The glass is smooth between my fingers and the pressure intensifies the throb. I don’t think it’s too deep, but that doesn’t stop the uncomfortable flop of my stomach. I grit my teeth, breathe hard out of my nose, and pull.
‘Fucker,’ I mutter as I let the glass drop to the ground.
Quillian kneels before me.
‘Riv, can you—’
‘It’s now or never,’ Cortane says.
In response, Quillian wraps the pale dress fabric around my thigh and I watch the care with which he ties the ends together.
‘Let’s move,’ Cortane says.
‘Wait,’ I say, thinking again of my earlier conversation with Janly. ‘I have an idea. If I’m not back in half an hour – go without me.’
Quillian and Nix protest at the same time and I ignore them – despite the tiny warming that at least they’re on the same page now – and turn to Blossom instead. She narrows her eyes at me.
‘I’m not waiting here,’ she says.
‘Please, Bloss,’ I say. ‘I need to know you’re okay. Stay with River.’ I glance at where he watches us, a tiny dip of his chin the only indication he’s heard me. That he will protect her against whatever is to come.
‘And I don’t need to know the same about you?’
I look at her, pleading.
‘I’ll go with you,’ Janly says and Blossom glares at her. ‘We’ll come back.’
‘You’re not leaving me here, Luka. I’m not going anywhere without you,’ Blossom says, firmer this time. ‘The Hunters will—’
‘They won’t find me – won’t know we’re up to anything. I promise.’
She sets her jaw in the way I know nothing I say will change her mind. But I can’t take the three of us back and guarantee we’ll all get out again. Only Blossom, Janly, and I have any chance of getting in and out without drawing the attention of the Hunters. But we can’t fight them anyway, so we don’t need numbers. I need stealth. And to not be worrying about Blossom, who is still nursing the last of her wound. I cringe internally about what that says of my feelings for Janly. I don’t want anything to happen to her, either, but it’s Blossom that will break me.
I look at River again and his face darkens with regret as he moves behind Blossom and I step backwards. She lunges at me and he grabs her from behind, a hand over her mouth. Turning away from the betrayal on her face, I run – Janly hot on my heels.
‘We won’t wait!’ Cortane calls after us and a coldness coats my skin at the truth in her words.
We crash through the trees and the undergrowth, paying no heed to quiet, the pain in my thigh shooting through my leg. There’s no time for it. Now all I have is a tiny hope we don’t come across any Hunters.
Reaching the stairs to my apartment, I all but drag myself up them. Gasping for breath as I collapse at the top.
‘For all … the good … in this … world, Luka,’ Janly gulps in air. ‘I’m not as young … as you. Explain.’
It takes me longer than I would like to catch my breath enough to talk with any sense. But, sprawled on the stone of what was once my balcony, I tell Janly my last hope.
‘You said something about burning it down,’ I say. ‘We’re doing that. Our magical contracts are anchored to here, right? Maybe the wards are the same. And, if not, none of these prisoners should be able to remain here at least.’
Janly blinks at me, her mouth still open and dragging in air, sweat in her hairline.
‘It’s all I’ve got,’ I say.
‘Hunted forever,’ she says, mostly to herself.
‘But we’ve made our choice, Jan. And I’ve realised … I can’t leave them here.’
Janly shakes her head at me, not understanding. ‘We’re not—’
‘The prisoners. They’re slavers. Child abusers. Women abusers. I don’t even know what else. How is it fair that we go on the run, marked for life, and they stay here?’ I gesture around us. To the jasmine-covered stone pillars whose scent cloys my senses. But I know she gets my meaning. Knows the luxury this stone contains.
A wicked smile immediately appears on her face, her white teeth glowing slightly in the moonlight, and I can’t help but mirror it. Their time here ends now.
‘We need to get the concierges out,’ she says and I nod. ‘I’ll find Emeris. Get him to spread the word and get them to a safe place.’
‘Tell him … subtly if you can, what we’re doing. Anyone who wants to join us can come.’
She raises her brows at me in question.
‘Cortane mightn’t like it, but I’m not leaving them here with no options. The others …’ I trail off. ‘The prisoners,’ I say quietly. ‘I don’t know if they all deserve to die, and I don’t want to be their judge.’ Janly makes a sound of reluctant agreement. ‘So we’ll set the fire alarm off early.’
She exhales. ‘We better move.’
I try not to look at my apartment again as we make our way through and out into the dark hallway. It’s quiet. Everyone here, and not on shift, is likely already asleep. Hopefully not for long. I glance back at Janly once before she gently closes the door to my old apartment and we creep down the hallway towards the Warden’s office.
At the end of the hallway that will take me to his office, we pause and I stare at Janly.
‘I–I don’t have anything to start a fire,’ I stammer, belatedly realising how stupid this plan really is.
Janly doesn’t miss a beat. ‘Bottom drawer, right-hand side, there’s a lighter. Use the books. I’ll meet you on the other side of the hedge.’
She takes off in the opposite direction, towards the concierge room – I assume so she can check what shift Emeris was on today. Without giving myself time to reconsider, I run down the hall and smother the urge to slam the office door behind me, closing it with a painful slowness until I’m on my own.
Sprinting to the bookshelf, I drag everything down in great handfuls. Armfuls. Anything I can get my hands on goes into a pile on the rug. With any luck, it will catch alight as well.
The lighter is exactly where Janly said it would be and I turn it in my palm briefly. The smooth, gold surface cool on my skin. Taking it to the pile of books, it sparks on the second try and I lower the flame to the pages. As the flame grows, I catch the engraving on the side of the lighter. Love J, it ends with.
The flames lick the edges of the bookshelf now; the heat starts to warm my legs and a dull throb beats in my chest. This office holds so many memories of Claudius. Of Quillian. Of Bloss and me. And I’m destroying it.
For good reason , I remind myself. I want to stay and see it take, just to be sure, but I don’t have time. The smoke is starting to make my eyes sting, but this feels right. Maybe something better can be made from the ashes of this place. And maybe I won’t be marked for the rest of my – potentially short – life.
I could also be branded a traitor … and as I watch the flames, their blue and orange heat beginning to devour the books around me, I can’t think of a better way to describe how I feel right now. I’ve moved beyond my quiet rebellions with Blossom and our tipples. Right now, the fire in me is mirroring the one building around me. I’m going to bring it all down.
I move to the door and reach for the handle.
It flies open, slamming into my fingers and making them bite with pain.
‘What the fuck are you doing?’