CHAPTER 24
I was slumped against the inside of my front door, running my long fingernails through my hair.
“Sasha,” he said softly.
“Just go,” I replied. “Please.”
“Sash, I'm not banging the door. I'm not being aggressive. I just wanna talk.”
I loudly exhaled.
“Can you just let me in? This'd be a lot easier if I wasn't staring at your door.”
“No, DeShaun.” And the truth was it wouldn't be easier. It'd be so much more difficult to look him in the eyes and do this.
“I'm sorry about what happened to you with the protesters. We heard all about it... It affected us on the pitch.”
I wiped my tears.
“We wanted the game called off, but the officials made us play.
Stenhousemuir were all over us. It was a miracle we kept a clean sheet.
Then we got lucky with the penalty. It was a foul, no doubt about that, but I was looking for it.
I hope you're proud of the result. I'd have bitten your hand off for one-nil this morning.”
I might've bitten his cock off that morning if it'd been anywhere near me when I read about Angus Hamilton's 'sources' within the club.
“We're only two points off the play-offs, Sasha.”
I suppressed my groans.
“With two games to play.” He cleared his throat. “We can do this, babygirl-”
“Stop it,” I interrupted. “You've no right to call me that anymore.”
“You're serious?”
“Yes.”
“You really want to end this?”
“Yes, DeShaun... Just leave me, please.”
“Like this, through a closed door?”
My mascara was running.
“Sasha, I promise you, I'm not your fucking leak. I don't get how you think that about me. After what we went through to be together, why'd I do that now? I've no connection with Broxburgh, it doesn't make sense. It has to be someone else, someone local, someone who's something to gain.”
I wanted to believe him.
“I don't get you, Sash, jumping to believe this bullshit so quickly, so easily. D'you really have some psychological need for drama to get your rocks off?”
Dismay gave way to ire within. “DeShaun, the article in the paper cited sources within the club! It said the bid was expected to be accepted within hours. You were the only person who knew that! So how could it not be you? Christ, the fucking headline read Takeover Conspiracy!”
“And you're paranoid because of it!”
I felt the vibrations from the anger in his voice ripple through the door.
“It wasn't me, Sasha. I swear it. On my life, on my three sisters' lives. It must be someone else-”
“No one else knew, DeShaun. Just you.”
“Did anyone in the consortium know? Had you said yes to them?”
I didn't answer him.
“There's your source, Sash... It isn't me.”
“How can I believe you, DeShaun?”
“I'd never do anything like this. It's not in me. You know me, Sasha.”
I'd thought I did.
“You're supposed to love me, babygirl.”
I'd tried to convince myself I did.
“I'm supposed to be your rock, Sasha Liu... I still believe I am.”
“DeShaun...” Oh my God, I could barely say the words. “I can't trust anyone... Including you.”
His head gently hit the front door.
“I'm sorry, but it has to be this way.”
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I...” I wasn't going to finish that sentence.
“Then I'll go.”
“Thank you, DeShaun,” I said, my heart aching with every syllable.
“I'll be at the hotel, if you need me.”
I knew I wouldn't be back there.
“I hope you find your peace, Sasha, I mean that.”
I didn't speak again.
Neither did he.
I only listened... To the sound of him walking away from my front door. From my house. And from my life.