Chapter 8 - Caucus
Coming to land on a small meadow hilltop along the river, I dropped Allie unceremoniously to her feet.
She nearly stumbled. “Ow, thanks a lot,” she muttered. “Just so you know, I’m not a big fan of being carried around like a damsel in distress.”
I rolled my eyes. “I told you, I can only teleport across the realm by myself, and—” I paused to pointedly remind her, “you said you didn’t want me to shrink you and carry you in my pocket.”
“Fine.” Straightening up, she brushed off her lab coat. “So if there’s no magic on the river, how exactly are we going to get to the Duchess if you can’t fly me across either?”
I jerked my thumb backward.
Behind us, past a modest pumpkin patch and an eerie scarecrow wearing an odd flat cap, the lane carved on the grass led to a weathered wooden jetty that was bobbing on the water.
A rhythmic chugging turned Allie’s head as a plume of steam billowed from across the way and a water vessel materialized from a mystical mist.
Despite its puffing smokestacks, the riverboat’s most prominent features were the wooden paddle wheels mounted on both sides and the grand paddle wheel at the stern churning water in its wake, propelling the vessel through the river.
Its multi-deck exterior with a tiered promenade was wrapped in intricate wrought-iron railings around an elegant hull with gold accents and decorative trim. Upper decks with arched windows were framed by elaborate curtains and lace.
The vessel’s name was painted along its side.
Caucus.
Allie’s eyes were wide in wonder.
Checking my pocket watch for the time, I pursed my lips. “As soon as we step foot on that boat, my magic will stop working, which opens us up to a significant measure of danger.”
Her curious gaze turned up to meet mine. “Why? Do you owe this Dodo guy money?”
“I’ve stolen the hearts of many of his women and several of his men’s wives,” I relayed offhandedly.
Allie’s eyes bulged. “What? Jeez, everyone will recognize you!” She smacked her palm against her forehead. “What was I thinking? Of course! You’re the Queen’s henchman. Everyone hates you.”
I barely winced. “Hates me? Fears me, more like.”
She made a face. “Whatever you want to call it. Either way, it looks like we’ll need to go in disguise.” She cast a glance up and down my form and waved her arm. “Come on, give me your cloak.” Digging in her pockets, she fished out a few things to hand to me—an elastic band and a pair of glasses. “Tie up your hair and wear these.”
I stepped back. “No.”
Groaning out loud, she tugged on my arm and quite forcibly dragged my cloak off me. “Hey—!” Before I could finish my protest, with a swish, Allie had wrapped the distinctive cloak around her waist like a skirt, before tucking the orb necklace into her shirt as though to hide it.
“Do you want to cross the river or not?” Allie went on with a grumble as she pulled me down the lane. Then grabbing the hat off the scarecrow, she stuck it onto my head.
Indignation rising in my chest, I could only sneer at her.
I hated this.
I had to do this.
She held out the elastic band and glasses to me again.
Groaning out loud in exasperation, I shrugged out of her grasp to comply. The rubber band pulled at my hair and the glasses blurred nearly everything in my view. I slid them halfway down the bridge of my nose so I could at least still see properly.
“There.” She nodded after a moment, tilting her head to appraise my appearance. “You almost look like a regular, powerless guy—and much less likely to get us both killed.” With her grasp firm on my arm, Allie half-dragged me toward the boarding platform. “Now come on before we miss the boat.”
The whistle blew, signaling cast off just as we walked past the ramp to come on board.
As we headed straight into the parlor, I was hoping the colorful, likely highly inebriated crowds would lend to our disguises.
The blustery draft shoving us through the doorway blew Allie’s hair across her face. In an almost futile effort, she tucked it back behind her ear before glancing back at me. “This place is amazing.” She marveled at the lavish interior of plush velvet furnishings, polished wood paneling, and brass fittings.
Her forehead creased as her eyes kept catching on the people milling around us. “Are…they all animals?” Her question was full of wonder as we walked past a gentleman with horns like a rhino wearing a three-piece suit and boutonniere. On the small red-velvet curtained stage off to the left, three ladies in pink sashes with long thin legs and slender, curved beaks in place of mouths, were dancing the Can-Can to a merry tune.
I didn’t bother answering her ridiculous question. Of course, they were all animals. On the river with no magic, certain creatures of Wünder could opt to mimic the human form. How else would they be able to gamble?
Allie wasn’t waiting for my response. Distracted by something else, she surged forward through the main deck.
I followed in her wake, glancing past the open doors to one side that led to the casino.
Despite it being midday, the air in the casino was thick with cigar smoke, the clinking of poker chips and shuffling of cards on polished mahogany tables, and the constant hum of conversation.
“Ooh…can we check out the casino later?” Her eyes widened again when her gaze landed on a set of long tables laden with food—fresh, shiny fruits and vegetables, glistening silver platters, and decadent cakes. “Oh my gosh, there’s a snack bar! Look!” She made a beeline for the buffet and before I could even remind her that we were supposed to keep a low profile, she was already helping herself and loading a plate.
I had to roll my eyes as Allie made a face to pick out some tomatoes from her plate. What was she even doing? She’d said everything in this world tasted like waffles anyway. I didn’t understand her urge to be picky. But I didn’t bother to ask.
“Hello.”
The soft purr at my elbow made me turn.
A woman dressed in bird feathers was gazing up at me with doe eyes behind her lory mask. Her smile glistened as she cooed, her voice dripping with honey. “Darling, would you like to buy me a drink?”
I blew out a tired breath. “No, thank you.”
I certainly didn’t mean for my voice to be husky or inviting at all but just then two more women in aviary costumes behind Miss Lory turned at the sound and two more breathy hellos came my way.
This.
This was what was supposed to happen.
I didn’t even have any magic. I’d barely even done anything. And I was already about to be mobbed by women on this friggin’ boat.
Another woman dressed all in canary yellow from clear across the room caught my eye and she began to walk over, prompting several other women to turn to look—at me.
Holding her plate under her chin so as not to spill, Allie’s face was crumpled up as she watched the oddity happening around us. “What the hell is going on?” she mumbled through her mouthful.
“I think if we would like to remain incognito, you’d better put that plate down.” I pulled on her arm to hurry away.
“Mm—!” She moaned in protest as I led her away but not before grabbing a few muffins to stuff in her pockets.
Fast-walking down the aisle, we headed down the stairs and turned into a narrow corridor near the cabins below deck before I glanced back to check if we were still being followed. Usually, once I’d moved out of immediate vicinity, the haze on these women would be lifted. It wasn’t always a guarantee but it was as much as I could do on a moving boat.
Allie couldn’t stifle her laughter any longer. Her hand propped against the wall to steady herself, she bent over to crack up. “What—the hell was that?”
I scoffed. I couldn’t think how to explain it to her since she wasn’t in the least affected by my influence. “Never mind,” I dismissed. “We just have to lay low until the boat docks. Avoid The Dodo and his men. And avoid any women.”
“That’s just great.” Allie frowned, casting a glance around the cramped, dark hallways below deck. “This is going to be one exciting boat ride.”
A cackle of female laughter rang out from quite close by and I stiffened in wariness but the corridor was still deserted.
Allie craned her neck to look around. “Must be coming from the people in these cabins.” She moved down the hall, running her fingers across the polished wood.
A click from the next door made her freeze in her tracks.
Someone was coming out.
Backing up, Allie bumped into me. With another glance around, she pushed me into the gap between a cabin and the closed hatch before I could offer a dispute.
Slurs and giggling passed us by. Footsteps clomped up the stairs before becoming faint.
Allie craned her neck over her shoulder to check if the coast was clear before letting out a sigh. “That was close.”
I glared down at her in displeasure. Her hand was clutched at my shirt as she pressed me back against the wall. “Get off of me.”
She met my gaze in ridicule. “Calm down. Or maybe you want to get pawed by those women again?”
I gritted my teeth, ready with my rant. “Those women—”
Another shuffling came from down the hall and Allie jumped to cover my mouth with her hand.
This time, low, deep voices were murmuring from across the way. If those were some of The Dodo’s men and they found me on this boat, this river crossing was definitely going to get a lot more exciting.
Allie seemed to be of the same mind. “They shouldn’t see your face,” she whispered, grabbing the back of my neck to pull my head down.
My forehead nearly pressed against hers, I shot her an incredulous look. “How is this better?”
“They’re coming,” she hissed. “Just shut up.”
With Allie’s warmth pressed against me, her breath on my cheek, the pit of my stomach stirred.
I wanted to get away. But at the same time…
I had to blink away drowsiness. I couldn’t help but breathe in Allie’s scent. Mostly engine grease and polished metal, but there was a faint flowery hint from—somewhere I couldn’t pin down. I had to tamp down the urge to pull her even closer to ascertain exactly where.
The need to know was annoying me like the dickens. “Let me the hell go.” My warning came out like a low rumble, tugged from a place deep inside. “Or else.”
Her response was airy, self-assured. “Threaten me all you like. I know you can’t hurt me right now.” She cast a discreet backward glance again. “Shoot, they’re not leaving. They’re congregating in the bloody corridor.”
I grumbled as I tried to push away but Allie yanked on my ear. “Mmff—” I almost couldn’t stifle my groan of complaint but I happened to glance up the corridor, and spotting a lanky man with a beak-like mouth in a swanky red-striped coat, I jerked back against the wall hissing a curse under my breath. “That’s him, The Dodo.”
“Shoot.” She dropped her gaze to think. “Maybe we should split up. You walk away. I’ll try to distract them.”
My dark gaze bore into her. “Nice try. I’m not letting you out of my sight.”
“Oh, come on. I already know it’s pointless to try to run away from you,” she reminded me, trying to keep her voice as hushed as she could. Still frowning, she fidgeted in her stance. “They’re going to see. Your face is too obvious at this angle.”
Rolling my eyes in resignation, I braced my hands on her shoulders to spin us around so my back was to the corridor.
Allie gasped as she pressed up against the wall.
Propping up my arms to cage her face between them, I bent my head low to murmur close to her neck, beneath her ear. “Is this better then?”
Perhaps she noticed the relative ease with which I loomed over her; her one eyebrow quirked up in amusement. “I see this is not your first time tumbling along in dark corners. Is this why those women were chasing you? Did you seduce them all?” Her tone was still full of wonder as she studied my face.
Shifting slightly, I gave her the most deadpan look in my arsenal. “Girl, I have not even begun to do anything.”
“So you just happen to be naturally irresistible to them?” she mused before stopping short. “Oh, I almost forgot. You used to be a bunny. The urge to copulate must be too strong to bear.” Her shoulders began to shake in mirth.
Indignation rose in my chest again. “I am not an animal,” I stated crisply.
Was she inferring that I was unable to control my own urges? And damn Chez for letting slip that very incriminating piece of information around Allie.
“Please,” she chided in mocking. “I’ve been living underneath your loft for three weeks. You know all I’ve heard from your visiting lady friends? It always goes something like this—” Just then, Allie let out a low, pleasurable moan.