Chapter 17 - And Curiouser
The gloomy sunrise brought a vague sense of discontent to my clock tower. Like an empty hollow where conviction used to be.
Beneath my loft where there was always a pervasive insistent indignation since Allie’s arrival, I no longer felt restlessness.
Allie’s spirit was flat. As though the fight in her had been slowly dissipating and whatever shred of hope she’d been holding on to before was lost.
The overnight tides had come and gone. Through the night, the studio downstairs had been too quiet. I almost thought Allie would have already escaped again.
I already know it’s pointless to try to run away from you…
Chewing on my bottom lip, I took a step toward the spiral staircase then spun back around for the third time in hesitation.
This is ridiculous.
Again, I stared at the tray of food I’d prepared on the little round table. A plate of strawberry waffles with maple syrup. Breakfast.
This is absolutely ridiculous.
She needs to eat, another voice in my head said.
She doesn’t need to eat that, a third contradictory voice replied.
She probably didn’t want to see me anyway. I imagined she would still have been exhausted from the events of yesterday. Not to mention her almost dying again. She hadn’t slept well either.
Frustrated, I buried my head in my hands.
I’d had trouble sleeping too.
Your assassin aura is changed…
The encounter with the Hatter was sludge in my brain. Permeating. Sticky. But I refused to let that madman occupy my thoughts. This was exactly what he wanted. He wanted to mess with my head. And I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
The unmistakeable sound of glass breaking shattered the strained silence.
Jerking in alarm, I rushed down the stairs and peered into Allie’s lab.
Allie was hunched over her work table, her shoulders heaving up and down, her fists clenched white at her sides. Spare metal parts and broken blue glass lay on the table before her. Some scattered on the floor at her feet.
“What happened?” I couldn’t help a frown of concern as I approached. “What are you doing?” I assessed the materials on the table. As near as I could figure, she was making another version of her frequency detector necklace but on a larger scale.
Allie shook her head, her hair hanging down to hide her face. But before I could ask again, her shoulders began to shake as soft, stifled sobs escaped her form.
The heart-wrenching anguish and despair in her stabbed at my chest.
Allie took a deep breath between sobs. “It doesn’t work. It’s not going to work,” she cried. “I’ll never get back home. I’m going to be stuck here.” She threw up her hands in complete desolation. “I’m going to die. The Queen is going to kill me. If the other terrifying creatures in this world don’t murder me first. I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s too late! I can’t—I can’t—” She was turning frantic.
Without even thinking, I moved to brace my arms around her, tugging her back against my chest. “Allie, Allie,” I soothed into her hair. “You’re okay. I’ve got you. It’s going to be okay.” She tried to push away but I squeezed her tighter.
“I don’t even know who I am,” she mumbled. “What if I never remember?”
“I don’t care who you were. It doesn’t matter to me.” Clenching my jaw in determination, I urged, “Look, it’s not too late. Maybe you’ll find another way home someday. We might find another doorway—or you know, knowing you, maybe you’ll build one,” I threw in, offhand. I almost didn’t recognize my own voice in saying the words. “But until then, I’ll protect you. I swear it. You’ll be safe.”
Her chest heaved as she gave up her struggle.
“Hey,” I whispered near her ear. “I mean if you’re keen to fight another rainbow, there’s always that option. Right?” My eyebrows furrowed, I waited for her breathing to even out.
When she calmed down, she willingly melted in my arms, nestling back deeper against my chest. Heaving a huge sigh, she wiped her face with her hands. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
I shook my head to dismiss her concern. “You didn’t disturb me…”
There was that unfamiliar stir in my stomach again.
Her warmth, that scent…
Almost involuntarily, I bent my head lower ever so slightly to nuzzle her hair with my nose, my lips nearly brushing her ear.
I wanted to get lost in that scent.
Get lost in this moment.
The ticking of the clock around us.
Allie’s breathing.
Her softness against my chest…since she wasn’t pulling away.
I happened to catch our reflection on the darkened glass wall of the clock tower. My arms were wrapped around her and she quite naturally leaned back against me.
My own mind was so clouded that, try as I might, I couldn’t pin down what Allie was feeling right then. What was she feeling? Did she want me to leave but couldn’t find the words? Did she want me to stay and keep holding her…?
A loud hiss of steam and a mechanical hum jerked me back to my senses as a bit of machinery came to life across the room.
I squinted. What the hell—?
The silent iron-framed cage of an ancient elevator well installed within the corner of the studio looked about the same as it always did—rusty, worn out, inoperable. Except…it was working?
Glimpses of exposed brass pipes and spinning gears passed before my eyes as the elevator car clinked and clanked upward disappearing into the studio ceiling.
My nerves set taut in an impending urge to jump into action once again, I released Allie before striding across the room to climb up the spiral staircase.
Ever curious, Allie followed behind me, peering past my form to see.
The squeaky elevator came to a stop with a slight jolt in the corner of my loft as a purple cat was tugging open the wrought-iron gates.
Upon catching sight of us by the stairs, Chez’s eyes lit up. “Oh, hey guys. Did you try out the elevator yet?”
Mystified, I blinked again. “What?” I was still trying to resurface from the haze of the unexpected onslaught of mixed emotions I had just absorbed.
“Allie fixed your elevator.” Chez crossed the floor. “Seriously, Rabb. When was the last time you had a walk around? Allie has been fixing all the rickety crumbling parts of this rust bucket clock tower you call a home.”
I glanced over at Allie standing beside me.
Eyes wide, she wrapped her arms around herself as though she was trying to ward herself from something, or shaking something off. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve thought her cheeks were tinged pink again.
Was she relieved about the interruption? Her manner still seemed apprehensive but at least her aura was more settled now than when I’d first gone downstairs.
I shot Chez a dark look. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be? I’m busy.”
“I’m here to see Allie.”
“What makes you think Allie has time to entertain you?” I snapped.
“Um, I think I’ll go back downstairs and clean up that mess,” Allie said, her face still solemn.
I waved my hand with a bit of a spell. “It’s done.”
Stopping in mid-stride, Allie shot me a stunned look. “Uh, th-thanks.” She wrinkled her nose. Jerking her thumb down the stairs, she mumbled, “Still, I better go make sure nothing blows up again.”
“I didn’t magic all your stuff away,” I called out to let her know. “Just the broken glass mess.”
Pursing her lips, she nodded. “Great. Thank you.”
I watched her go down the staircase. An inexplicable lightness in my chest, I took a deep breath.
And Chez watched me.
I shot him a look. “What?”
“You look…”
“What?”
Chez shrugged. “Relaxed,” he mused. “Having Allie around puts you at ease, doesn’t it? I can imagine having you around must put her at ease as well.”
My neck burned. The too-recent moment we’d shared downstairs not minutes earlier flashed red hot in my mind. I looked away to dismiss it. “That’s…irrelevant. Why are you here?”
“The Duchess wanted to make sure you all arrived back safe and sound,” Chez began. “Do you still have the mirror that she gave Allie?”
I drew out the mirror from my pocket. With a spell from my finger, the gilded hand mirror grew to about as large as a window, propped up against the round table. The Duchess’s petite form within it was framed with ornate glistening crystal.
“Helloooo!” Curls bouncing around her round face, the Duchess’s melodious greeting sang out as her smiling image waved.
Chez pounced closer, stepping past the plate of waffles. He paused to take a sniff. “Ooh, these look nice.”
Frowning, I snapped my fingers and the tray disappeared with a poof. “They’re not for you.” When I turned back, the Duchess was peering too closely at my face. I nearly jumped back. “What?”
Her big blue eyes were boring into mine. “Your eyes look different,” she started. Her breath caught in her throat almost immediately. “Rabb, do you…have your emotions back again?”
Chez clicked his tongue. “You know what, he did say something that sounded quite a lot like jealousy earlier.”
I glared at the cat. I rolled my eyes again to dismiss him. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“So touchy!” The Duchess’s laughter tinkled through the mirror. “In any case, how was your visit with the Hatter?”
Hot frustration rose in my chest, I pursed my lips. “We almost got trapped there. I almost got a Heartlamp. Allie almost found a way home.”
“Oh.” Forehead creasing in concern, the Duchess shook her head. “Allie must be devastated. She told me about all her experiments and that funny contraption she hangs around her neck that helps find other worlds. Where is she?”
I shrugged. “Downstairs. She’s probably working on something again.”
The Duchess tsked. “That poor girl. Does she still think you’ll let her go home once you’ve drained her Heartfire ember with the Heartlamp?”
I was a little affronted by what I took to be nosy criticism—or perhaps it was a nagging little pang of guilt that I forcibly shook off. The Duchess had no idea what I had to deal with. She had no idea how high the stakes were for me. Then again perhaps she would have rejoiced were she in my position and facing the end of the line. Folding my arms across my chest, I huffed. “That’s my business.”
A gasp near the spiral staircase grabbed my attention.
Allie was halfway up, her eyes wide in horror.
Oh, for god’s sake.
She had been eavesdropping again.
Those honey-brown eyes slid to meet mine, her jaw clenched. “I should have known,” she murmured. “I’d thought maybe I could actually trust you to keep your word but you were lying to me this whole time, weren’t you?” Her gaze dropped. “You never wanted to help me. You’ve only been protecting me because, for some reason, you get hurt when I get hurt. But you weren’t even going to tell me the truth about this.” Her voice shook. “Was the Heartlamp even going to restore my memories or not?”
I cracked my neck in unease. “It would have,” I supplied. “But only before it took your life altogether.” There was a strange lump in my throat. My own words were bitter in my mouth as if for some reason they revolted me.
Allie’s chest heaved. “You’ve been lying from the start. You were never going to let me go.”
My own chest constricted at the look in her eyes. She was right. She was right and yet… “Allie.” I reached for her arm.
She shrugged me off, scorn burning in her eyes. “You know what, don’t even.” She shook her head. “I thought we were finally friends. I thought, after everything—after all this—” She broke off, at a loss.
My stomach was hollow. I couldn’t stand the cold look in her eyes. The disappointment. The regret.
Squeezing my eyes shut for a moment, I composed myself. “Look.” My voice came out dark, deep, and bitter. “I told you from the very beginning. All I needed you to do was to keep quiet, stay out of my way, and stay alive. But no!” I threw up my hands in aggravation. “You keep getting into trouble and trying to escape!”
“Of course, I will!” she retorted. “What makes you think I want to stay here forever?”
I winced. That struck an unexpected chord. “What makes you think I want you to stay here forever?” I bit back with a sneer. “You said it yourself. I’m the bad guy. The fact that you expected anything else from me only means you’re even more of a fool than I thought.”
Allie sucked in a breath as though I’d slapped her with those words. Her face was crumpled in derision but I could see it on her face. She couldn’t deny what I said. She had known what I was right from the start. She just didn’t want to admit that she had been fooled.
And I… I needed to remind myself exactly what I was keeping her around for. I needed to remind myself of what I was since it was so very clear in her eyes what I was. I was still a heartless monster.
Even though… I dropped my gaze before I could say anything else I knew I would come to regret.
Still breathless, Allie stood as if in a stunned trance.
“Hoo!” Chez wheezed out loud, instantly breaking the tension. “That was a bit heavy. Now shall we just agree to disagree?”
I glared at Allie. But she merely glared back.
The Duchess glanced from Allie to me and back in expectation. “My…” she murmured.
A sharp knock at the door drew surprised gasps from both Allie and the Duchess.
Jerking in alarm, my gaze snapped over. I wasn’t expecting anyone at this time. According to Her Majesty’s schedule, she wasn’t due another heart for another fortnight.
The knocking came again, firmer, more insistent.
If it was the Hatter come to fight me, I had to get ready. If it was the Queen’s envoy come to check up on me, I couldn’t let them find Allie in here. No matter her capacity to get under my skin and how much she pissed me off.
Catching Allie’s wide-eyed gaze, I put a finger to my lips. Narrowing my eyes in wariness, I approached the door to take a look.
When I cracked the door open to peek outside, there was no one standing at the stoop—except a gust of wind carrying a fresh scroll as it blew straight into my loft.
I stepped back and shut the door again.
The scroll floated in mid-air, glimmering in golden light as it unrolled before us.
The Queen’s red seal was at the bottom again.
It was an invitation to the Queen of Hearts’s castle.
Chez’s ominous tone broke the tense silence. “It’s addressed to Allie.”
“Oh my,” the Duchess cooed again, putting a hand to her throat. “The last time I was invited to the castle to play croquet, the Queen beheaded half the staff and some of the guests for misunderstanding her made-up rules.”
“I remember,” Chez piped up. “Even I almost got beheaded. If only those guards didn’t get confused about whether or not they could behead a cat without a body. The Queen’s guards are quite dumb.”
Allie visibly repressed a nervous shiver.
Another noise at the door turned my head.
An opulent conveyance floated right outside the door to my loft, despite it being about five-hundred feet above the ground. Its stagecoach wheels intricately designed with ornate patterns of suits of cards, the bulbous carriage adorned with flamboyant embellishments in red and black.
Swallowing hard, Allie stepped back. “I don’t have a choice, do I? I can’t not go. The Queen will find me and kill me either way, won’t she?”
Not willing to fib about it, Chez merely shrugged.
I cast her a blank look. Not wanting to expose my own apprehension, I said nothing else except, “Get ready to leave.”
“Say hi to Five for me,” the Duchess called out to her as Allie headed for the staircase.
Allie glanced back. “Who’s Five?”
The Duchess’s smile was suggestive. “One of the castle guards.”
Allie took a big, deep breath before disappearing back downstairs again.
The impending threat having passed straight over her head, the Duchess covered her mouth in a giggle.
I rolled my eyes at her caprice. I tilted the mirror to cast a spell to shrink it smaller once again.
“Rabb, wait,” the Duchess piped up.
I met her gaze.
Her tone turned somber. “Allie’s heart…”
I nodded. “I know.”
“Do you?” Her curls fell to one side as she tilted her head. “If you recall what I said, the Heartfire ember ignites from the memories of loved ones. Love, Rabb,” she pressed. “Once Allie’s heart fills with memories of love, then all is lost.”
I nodded again. “Yes. We just need to make sure Allie doesn’t have a chance to recover her old memories before I can get a Heartlamp.”
“Ah…” She paused, a catch in her tone. “It need not be past memories. Another way the Queen may possess Allie’s heart is if she loves. That is…if she falls for you too.”
A shiver ran up my spine. At the implication of her words, my eyebrows snapped together. “Too? What the hell do you mean ‘too’?”
The Duchess gave me a half-smirk.
I shifted uncomfortably in my stance, absolutely not keen to dig deeper into the matter. “She’s not going to fall for me,” I claimed with a soft growl. “She said so before. She doesn’t love like that. I can’t even seduce her, for god’s sake. Nothing I do affects her at all.” I couldn’t help the frustration in my tone. “Besides, you heard what she said. She hates me. I’m the bad guy, remember?”
The twitch in my chest stung at the recollection of the raw resentment in Allie’s eyes. She was never going to fall for me.
I clenched my jaw.
But perhaps the Duchess had a point too. There was no telling if Allie would remain immune to my charms and spells.
The stakes were too high to risk the chance.
I needed to focus on my mission.