Chapter 36 Thalia
I know why people go crazy in solitary confinement. I pace around the empty house. How much longer is Silas going to leave me here? I look at the clock and see it’s been forty-two minutes. So, maybe I’m dramatic, but this feels a lot like neglect.
I walk into the kitchen and let out a sigh. Why didn’t I tell him? Why couldn’t I get the words out? About Lucia, about how I feel. Pinche cobarde. I am a coward. I walk from room to room, taking in the empty feel of the house. The bedroom is the only room with furniture. The kitchen has minimal items and appliances. I make myself a coffee and sit there… And sit there some more.
My mind is the last place I want to be trapped in. I meditate on Silas’s words. He’d have Efren drop me off after we found his siblings. He’d just drop me off, and we’d pretend like this never happened? All this shit is causing more stress than I need in my life. I don’t even want to think about what a divorce process would look like. I don’t want to think about how much I thought he would fight for me. That he’d say, “You’ll live with me in Tamaulipas forever.” And what did I expect? That I’d live there, and we’d live a happy black picket fence life? I have to get back to Lucia.
A vehicle sounds in the driveway, and I rush to the window. Ale closes the door to the truck and helps another woman out of the passenger seat. I narrow my eyes to get a better view of the woman. She looks older, and it takes a minute before the soft features register with me. I blink several times to confirm if I’m seeing this correctly. It’s Josefina. Silas’s mom.
I shift and think about running back up the stairs. I could jump in the shower or something until my anxiety calms. But I don’t have enough time. I watch as they make their way up the driveway, then move back to the kitchen counter and let out a deep exhale.
I see Ale first when she opens the door. She’s wearing a red flannel, jeans, and a matching red cap. She gives me a tight smile, then Josefina walks in behind her. Her eyes widen when she sees me. I jump to my feet to meet them.
“Thalia?” She looks at Ale, then back to me.
“Hola,” I say nervously. She looks at the dress, still clinging to me from the night before. I walk toward her, opening my arms for a quick embrace and press a greeting kiss to her left cheek. The last time I saw her was the day my father had Silas set up with the police. I had waited for her to reach out after everything, and she never did.
“Here, I can help you.” I grab the suitcase and look at Ale for guidance on where to go.
“We’re going to take these upstairs to the room, Tia.” Ale grabs the other suitcase and moves up the stairs. I follow behind her until we reach one of the empty spare bedrooms. Ale looks down the hallway, then back at me.
“You need to get out of here. Right now.” She moves into me, and I move backward. “Thalia, I know everything. Kiko Maestas knows about your daughter,” Ale whispers, and I look up, seeing the empathy in her eyes. My throat closes. I search around the room.
“Thalia, Silas had a DNA test done on her. He thought she might be yours, but I don’t know how he’ll react when he finds out she’s his. When he finds out you kept this from him.” Her words hit me, and I feel the walls closing in around me.
Tears pool in my eyes, and I look up to find her pleading ones. I shake my head, and my feet move quickly down the hall. My hands shake as I throw the few items I had taken out back into the suitcase. Why would he get a DNA test? I turn the diamond on my finger, then examine it closer. This isn’t just like my original ring. It is my ring .
“How did he know?” Ale watches me remove the ring and place it on the end table.
“He found the threats in your safe. He thought you might have had a kid during the time you were separated.” I nod, and we move quickly with the suitcases down the stairs.
“Hold on. I need to go get your phone. I’ll meet you in the truck.” Ale runs back up the stairs. I drag my suitcase down the remaining stairs.
“Where are you going?” Josefina asks.
I look up to find her looking me over, desperate to figure out what’s going on. I feel overwhelmed by the various emotions raging through me. She had been so kind to me, and I don’t want to lie to her.
“Thalia, are you okay?” she asks.
The concern in her eyes is real. That motherly intuition reading the panic surfacing from me. Our heads turn when the door bursts open, and Silas emerges. His face is flushed with fury.
“You lied to me!” He lunges for me, and Josefina places her body in front of mine like a shield.
That familiar flight or fight decision surfaces from the pit of my belly. He looks at his mom and shakes his head. His finger points at me, like a knife slicing through my heart. Josefina stays close to me and looks between us.
“I asked you who she was, and you looked straight at me and lied!” He’s screaming now and pacing by the front door.
“Silas, let me explain.” My voice shakes as I make my way to him.
To touch him, to beg at his feet if I have to. The moment I touch his arm, he pulls away as the hurt in his eyes hits me. He opens the door behind him.
“Get out!” he yells.
I struggle to move. Ale rushes down from the stairs, gun in her hand.
“Silas, calm down,” she says.
“What the fuck’s going on?” Josefina asks.
“Tell her!” he screams at me, but I can’t. Everything is too loud. Sobs are the only thing I manage to get out.
“Tell her how you’ve been hiding our fucking daughter from me!” he screams. “GET OUT!”
Josefina jumps up before he stalks toward me and slaps him across the face.
“Pull your shit together, Silas!” she says. He turns his head, and hurt lingers in his eyes. He doesn’t look at me, but turns to Ale.
“Get them the fuck out of my house,” he says before walking to the basement door. I run out the door and throw my suitcase in the back of the truck. When Ale appears, she is carrying Josefina’s suitcase with her.
“I’m so sorry.” It’s all I can say to Josefina when she opens the passenger door to face me. She pulls me into a tight embrace, and I let it all go.
“Is it true? Do I have a granddaughter there in Houston?” she asks and I nod, letting the first weight come off of me.
“Then I’m going with you,” she responds.
Ale speeds down the road. The truck is silent as we make our way to the runway, where I see a plane waiting. Efren was able to get ahold of Adrian, who sent for me immediately.
I explain what I can to Josefina on the short flight to Houston. I tell her about the unexpected pregnancy and how we had covered it up. I tell her everything I can remember about Lucia. The first time she walked, her first word, and every milestone ingrained in me. Josefina holds back tears with every story I tell her. There’s hope in her eyes when we land and see my family waiting outside for us.
I rush to Lucia, who is holding on tight to Ariella’s hand. Her eyes widen, and that toothless smile I missed so much spreads across her face.
“Little gremlin,” I say, taking her into my arms. She hugs me back.
“You’re back! Finally!” she says. I don’t let go of her embrace. When I do, I look at her. My little girl. My reason for being. She looks behind me, her curious eyes watching as Josefina makes her way toward us.
“Hola,” Josefina says slowly, making her way to Lucia. She’s holding back the tears. “And what is this princess’s name?”
Lucia places a hand on her hip, and with all the confidence, introduces herself.
“Lucia Josefina Consuelo,” she says, and Josefina’s eyes shoot at mine. I offer her a smile and nod.
“I love it. Can I have a hug, Lucia?” Josefina’s voice shakes as she opens her arms wide. Lucia nods, and everyone watches as they embrace.
“Why is everyone crying?” Lucia says dramatically, rolling out her words.
“I’m just so happy to finally meet you,” Josefina says.
Once we get to the hotel, Lucia spends the rest of the day showing Josefina all over the hotel. She is Calavera Hotel’s finest tour guide. Of course, per her requirements, Luca must join them. Josefina holds both their hands. I told her ahead of time they are a packaged deal.
Everything is happening faster than my mind can comprehend. I set my suitcase down and crash down on my bed. I’m not sure what I am going to do now. Just like every time Mr. Friborg read me to filth, I can’t get the picture of the cards out of my head.
The reminder of that card with the two people falling out of the tower. Is this where Silas and I’s love story ends? Do we even have a love story? Or was it just an erotic horror film? Either way, my toxic ass had convinced myself we were something more.
“You okay?” I look up to see Olivia standing in the doorway of my room. Her bright green eyes search mine.
“I will be.” I sigh. She makes her way to the bed and kicks off her shoes. She snuggles beside me and wraps her arms around me. I let myself loosen in her embrace before she moves back and cups my face.
“We will figure this out. Together,” she says. The same words she told me the day I begged her to save me. I had been so angry with her recently, but it is becoming clearer than day that she is all I have at the darkest times.
“What if I’m not a good mom?” My voice cracks at the question.
I didn’t think I’d get to this point. I thought I would forever live in hiding and trapped in my secrets. Now that everything is out, I have to think about how I will navigate this truth.
“Then you’ll do just fine because none of us are good moms. We make mistakes, but as long as you love her, then you will always be enough,” she says.
I can love her. That has always been the easy part, but there is a small part of me that wonders who will love me.