Chapter 40 Silas
I watch as Thalia pulls down her skirt and catches her breath before I hit the elevator button. The elevator stops at the thirteenth floor.
“I want to meet my daughter,” I say before she exits. She stares straight at me, and I watch as she considers her words. She bites down on her bottom lip.
“I don’t think that’s a—” she starts, but I interrupt her protests.
“I don’t give a fuck what you think about it. You can go to her right now, but tomorrow, I will see her.”
She lets out a sigh and nods. I watch her walk away from me, her red-bottomed heels clicking on the ground below her. I resist the urge to follow her, to pull her to me so we can sleep wrapped in each other. When I get back to the suite I rented on the eighth floor, I undress and lie in the empty bed.
I stay up, letting my thoughts consume me. I could use a joint or a shot. Anything to calm my nerves right now. I ignore the thoughts, knowing damn well no alcohol or weed is going to fix this. I need to follow through with my plan to meet my daughter, and for that, I need to be completely sober.
I feel nervous like a child again. Like the first day of school is tomorrow. But instead of being worried if the other kids would like me, I am a grown man worried about the way my daughter will receive me. How the three of us can make sense as a family with everything that stands between us. I may not be following Thalia to bed tonight, but tomorrow I will face her entire family. I will let them know exactly where I stand. Next to her.
We’re waiting in Thalia’s office for Lucia to get out of school. My mother sits by the window. She offers me a small smile.
“She looks just like Rosie when she was little,” she says. Pain floods my chest at the memory of my little sister.
I stand beside Thalia and let my pinky finger grab onto hers. A silent reminder. I’m not your enemy . I am many things to Thalia, and she knows all the masks I wear, but I have never once been her enemy. She remains quiet the entire time and stares at the door.
“Olivia should be here soon,” Patricio says, and I nod.
Patricio and I had an interesting reunion when I came back to the hotel. I offered to do this the nice way or to kidnap both Lucia and Thalia, and he agreed to the first option.
“Sir, Olivia is here to see you,” a feminine voice sounds from the speaker. Patricio leans into the phone on his table.
“Tell them to come up,” he answers back.
I stand there, waiting until the door opens. Lucia’s hair is pulled up in a ponytail, and her little hand holds on tight to Olivia’s. Her brown eyes, the same ones that resemble my own, take in the room.
“Wela!” she says excitedly as she runs to my mother. Josefina greets her with a hug and kiss. She whispers something into Lucia’s ear, and Lucia turns around to face me. Her scowl is serious. I laugh at the way her brows bunch together.
“Who is he?” she asks, one hand on her hip and the other pointing at me.
“Lucia,” Patricio says and smiles at her.
“Hi, Tio,” she says, still taking in the room. Her eyes narrow back to Thalia and me. Thalia’s pinky finger squeezes mine.
“So, you’re the Prince?” she says, rolling her eyes.
“Lucia.” I smile at the way her name sounds. I couldn’t name her myself, but there is no better name. Light. The same light that is cracking through that darkest parts of me. Her little smile pulls that soft side from me.
A mixture of feelings is attacking me. I want to love her, protect her, and I’ll kill anyone who stands in the way of her happiness. I let go of Thalia and walk toward the little angel in front of me. I drop to my knees before her. I bring her to me, and she hugs me tight. When I finally release her, she looks up at Thalia.
“Is he my father?” she asks Thalia. Thalia’s tears are silent, running down her cheek.
“Yes, Lucia, he’s your father.” Patricio confirms, offering us a tight smile.
I spend the rest of the day getting to know my child. Her favorite color: pink, her favorite movie: Encanto, and her favorite person: Ariella Reyes. I would have to persuade her otherwise. The entire Reyes family is at the top of my shit list.
Lucia shows me all over the hotel and introduces me to everyone she knows as her dad.
“He’s a Prince,” she says. The looks I get are far from the ones royalty get. Most people are scared. I likely gave them the gossip of the year with my return. They can all fuck off.
“Do you want to meet Guapo?” she asks.
“Sure,” I say, letting her drag me back to the top floor. She stops at a door and knocks. The door opens, and Ariella stands there, her eyes narrowing on me before she looks down at Lucia.
“Hi, Lucy Loo,” she says with a smile.
“This is my dad. He’s a Prince,” Lucia says, trying to peer around Ariella.
“Is Guapo here? Guapo!” Lucia calls out, and I hear the tinkering of a bell moving toward us. Ariella opens the door wider, just in time for an oversized rat to run into Lucia’s arms. I stand there trying to figure out what kind of animal it is as he licks her cheek.
“Hi, Guapo,” Lucia says, scratching the top of the ugly dog’s head. This is the torture my child has been exposed to.
Thalia
I don’t get much work done as I pace around the office. I let Silas spend the day with Lucia, getting to know her, but I am filled with anxiety. She took better to him being her father than she did to me being her mother. She is still resistant to me, but she ran straight into his arms like he is some knight in shining armor.
“She’s fine,” Olivia says, opening up a takeout container on my desk.
“I brought you some albondigas for your nerves.”
I don’t feel like eating, but I take the container, anyway. The smell alone is my favorite. It reminds me of my grandmother and the way her wrinkled hands would hold mine. Her smile was the safest place I had ever known. I need her right now. I know Silas would never take our daughter from me, but something is stirring in me. That intuitive nagging in my ear that something bad is going to happen.
“We’ve had her for six years, Thalia. He can have a few moments to himself with her.” I smile and push back the nagging feeling.
“What are we going to do?” I ask.
It’s a question we both have been avoiding. I watch as she tries to fight the sadness from showing. We’ve been each other’s rocks for years, but I was stupid to not think about what the future would hold for me and Silas. A conversation we will need to have sooner rather than later. My heart shatters at the thought of separating Lucia and Luca. She is his voice. His other half. They may not be real twins, but they operate as a team.
Olivia returns to the hotel restaurant. I eat alone in the office and try to focus my attention back on work. That nagging shadow still lingers, but I am convinced it’s just the nerves at having to face Silas. Is this what it would be like if we were co-parents? Weekends with him and weekdays with me? The thought makes me sick. I don’t want to be separated from Lucia.
I also don’t want to be separated from him. This man has already torn through the years of steel metal interior I had placed around my heart. The door to my office opens, and Lucia strolls in. I can already tell she’s in her Diva mood. Silas appears behind her, laughing at her expression.
“Can I go with Ariella and Genesis to the dog park?” she asks.
“Hmmmm,” I say, pretending to think. She pulls her hands together in a prayer.
“Pretty, pretty Please,” she whines, and I laugh.
Silas watches our exchange from the doorway with a smile on his face. Damn, what that smile did to my ovaries. I wonder if this could be my reality. A slightly functional family with Silas. The angel, the devil, and Prince Uncharming.
I agree to let her go with Ariella and Genesis to a nearby dog park. Silas stays behind when they leave and sits down in the chair in front of my desk. He stares at the gold nameplate on the front of my desk. ‘Thalia Consuelo,’ it reads. His eyes go from the plate back up to mine. The walls close in the longer he sits there staring at me. He’s in one of his real estate business suits, one that fits him in all the right places.
“She has your attitude,” he says, letting out a small laugh.
“I think she’s more on the Diva side, like Ari,” I say
“She’s a smart and compassionate little girl,” he says.
He straightens his tie and stares at me. Comments regarding Lucia’s behavior always make me second guess myself. When Lucia’s teachers tell me what a great big sister she is, or how well-mannered she is, I always give credit where I feel it is due.
“Thanks to Olivia,” I say, moving to sit on the front of my desk.
“No. Thanks to you,” he says, his eyes looking up at me.
Silas has a way of making the entire world disappear when he looks at me like this. His eyes burn into my soul, and the whole sky could turn black and I wouldn’t bat a lash. I would stay here, lost in him. He stands up and closes the distance between us.
“You made the sacrifices for her to have the life she has and stayed close to her to make sure of it. You deserve to take credit for that.”
I let his words sit between us. Even after he grabs my nameplate, in all his pettiness, and throws it in the trash. Long after, he walks out the door. But his words stay.
I deserve to be the mother of his child. If he finds me worthy of that role, then maybe, one day, I will see myself as worthy, too.