Chapter 16
The bed beneath me was plush fabric, not cold metal. I was surrounded by soft lighting, not harsh fluorescents. The air was warm and comfortable, not cold and sterile. I was…me. Lily Winifred Shaw. I was alive. Each breath was painless, deep and rich. A gift.
Had it all been a dream? Or was this the dream? Some desperate hope conjured to escape the pain?
My sleep had been fitful, filled with nightmares.
Blood and sex, feeding and fangs. Death.
I’d made others hurt. I’d felt myself hurt, too.
I’d relived my pain. Relived the torture.
But there were other memories too—foreign ones that felt like a virus implanted in my mind. Moments that belonged to someone else.
As if my mind was breaking.
I spooned another bite of chicken noodle soup into my mouth.
Zola had offered to feed it to me, but I was desperate to maintain what little dignity I had left.
She sat beside me, rubbing my back, filling the silence with her calming voice.
I needed that, because the silence was where my memories lived.
“I don’t think I can eat any more.” I stared into the bowl, still only half empty.
I’d been with the witches for three days.
Zola had kept the details of my rescue to a bare minimum.
She’d promised to tell me everything once I was better.
Including why I had memories that weren’t mine.
They belonged to…to… I couldn’t say his name.
Could barely think it without hurting. But I knew they were his.
“Just a few more bites, darling,” Zola begged. “Vittorio spent hours on it. I’ve never seen him so focused on getting something right. The perfect chicken noodle soup.”
“Oh…”
Had he really cared that much? I wanted to feel something over the effort he’d made. I tried to muster the correct emotion, but nothing came.
“Oh, darling. He’s been beside himself!”
“Right.”
I thought of that fateful day when I was traded for information. The sight of Vittorio in the entry hall. He hadn’t even looked at me. Had it been an act? Part of the charade?
“He cares for you,” Zola said. “The moment you returned, he set about chopping and dicing. He made an entire pot of this stuff. Refused to cook anything for anyone else. Told Laurent”—my muscles jerked at the sound of his name—“that he could eat soup, or nothing.”
I sighed, looking down at the soup and fresh sourdough.
I broke off a chunk and dipped it into the broth, lifting it to my mouth.
Chewing. Swallowing. I was certain the soup was excellent, except I didn’t really taste it.
I was merely going through the act of feeding myself because it was a stipulation of my agreement with Zola.
“You’ll really let me talk to Ania?” I said at last.
“Yes. I meant what I said, darling. Whatever you want, I will see that you get it.”
“Good. Then I’m ready to call her.” I handed her my tray.
She set it aside and gave me her phone. I studied her, waiting for her to yank it back.
She simply waited. I knew Ania’s number by heart—we’d both memorized them in case our phones ever got stolen.
I pulled my knees up to my chin beneath the blankets.
I hadn’t moved since Zola had come—didn’t have the courage to leave the bed.
I clenched the phone to my ear as it began to ring.
“Hello?”
Tension fled my body at the sound of her voice. “Ania?”
“Lils? Is that you?”
“It’s me—“
“What happened to your phone? Did it die?”
“My phone?” My tension returned in full force, only worse. Why didn’t she sound…worried?
“Yeah! I haven’t been able to get ahold of you. But never mind that. How’s your vacation treating you?”
“Va-vacation?” My head snapped sideways, to look at Zola. Everything instantly slotted into place.
“Yeah, you’re having a good time, right?”
“Can you hold on a moment?” I didn’t wait for an answer, covering the microphone. “Zola, why does she think I’m on vacation?” I accused.
“Marco visited her after we brought you here. That’s probably the story he willed her with.”
“He… He did what?!” I kept my voice a low hiss, but didn’t wait for an answer. I put the phone back to my ear. “Ania? You still there?”
“Yeah! So, tell me everything. How are you enjoying Italy? Is it everything you thought it would be? Please tell me you found a sexy Italian guy to show you around?”
“Hah!” A high pitched, laugh fell from my lips.
Mainly to cover my shock. This wasn’t Ania—making Marco’s manipulations obvious.
The Ania I knew would be pissed at me. Because I would never leave the country without bringing her along.
Never. She would have known immediately that something was wrong.
I wanted to point out the obvious, but I couldn’t get the right words out.
“It’s… It’s really great so far. Are… How are you? Is everything okay? You’re not hurt or anything?”
If Marco stole so much as a drop of her blood, there would be hell to pay.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Great actually! You’ll never believe what my parents surprised me with for graduation.”
“What?”
“A backpacking trip through Europe—with Carley. They gave me the tickets a few days ago. A whole itinerary, too. All we have to do is catch trains, show up, that sort of thing. Even the museum tours are already set up. It’s going to be amazing!
” Ania sighed, obvious excitement ringing in her voice.
A spear of envious desire stabbed my gut.
We’d talked about doing this together with Carley, more than once.
“I wish you could come,” Ania added. “But maybe I’ll get to see you when I swing through Italy? That’s one of the stops along the way.”
“That’s… Wow, that’s amazing.” My stomach sank with disappointment. “Maybe you will. When do you leave?”
There was a loud commotion in the background. “Now, actually. I’m already at the airport.”
I sucked in a breath. I wasn’t going to get to see her before she left. “I… That’s great! You’re going to have so much fun. I… It’s really good to hear your voice. I don’t tell you enough how much you mean to me. How much… How much I love you. Just be safe, okay?”
“Lils,” she gasped. “Way to go all sentimental on my ass.”
I gave her a watery laugh. “I just needed you to know that.”
“I love you too, little giraffe, you know that.” I rubbed my eyes, shocked they were dry, despite the ache in my throat.
“Hey, I gotta run. Mom’s calling on the other line.
Ugh. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers.
She’s probably about to go psycho on me—make sure I packed extra underwear and all that.
Oh, and send me some pics while you’re in Italy!
Especially of the sexy guys you’re meeting. ”
“Okay,” I breathed. “Of course.”
“Good. Okay, love-you-bye!” The line went dead.
I held it to my ear several moments longer, processing.
I wanted to be angry—so angry. All that time spent worrying about Ania, that she would be frantic over my disappearance, and she was fine.
It was easier this way. Even if no one had told me a single thing.
There was only one person to blame for that.
I was too exhausted to feel anything other than relief. The fight had gone out of me completely.
“I didn’t think I’d get to hear her voice again,” I admitted, handing Zola the phone. “When I was with them…on that table.”
Just the thought of it…
Suddenly I was back there again, under the harsh fluorescents, stretched out on the operating table. No. No, I wasn’t there. I was here with Zola.
An arm came around me and Zola hugged me to her. “I’m here. It’s all right. You’re safe.”
Those words… Days ago, they would have affected me more than they did now. Now? I felt…numb. There wasn’t a single tear clouding my eyes, as if I’d given everything I had to the witches.
She leaned in and kissed my temple. “I meant what I said earlier, darling. If you wish to go home, you can. But certain precautions will be in order. There will be vampires posted around your apartment to protect you. Your neighbors will probably notice. You’ll have to explain it.
You will require bodyguards, adequate protection whenever you go anywhere. That sounds like a headache to me.”
I blew out a breath. I didn’t want to think about it right now. I didn’t want to think at all.
“I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“Because I’m an amplifier?” My voice was barely above a whisper.
“No, Lily Winifred Shaw. Because you are a good person who has been through too many awful things. You deserve a better life.”
I blinked. “You… You know?”
“I looked you up online. The internet is marvelous, isn’t it? A hundred years ago I’d have gone digging the old fashioned way…”
I lost the thread of her voice. My mind jumped to my teenage years, to what had happened, the involvement of local news outlets, the shame and embarrassment. My cheeks warmed. How long had she known?
“So, what do you say? Are you willing to let us protect you? Give you a better life?”
I picked at the comforter, keeping my eyes downcast. “Laur—“ I stopped myself. “He thinks I’m a spoiled brat. I’m not… I don’t need to be pampered. That’s not…me.”
“You can live here without being pampered.”
I pressed my lips into a tight line. Even Vittorio’s cooking made me feel pampered. “It’s… It’s a lot to think about. To consider.”
“I understand. You need not give me your answer yet. How about we get some fresh air, hmm?”
My hands fisted the sheets. “I’d rather stay here.”
“No. I don’t think so. If you let it, they will win. The witches. You’ll never want to leave the confines of this room.”
I felt safer here. I didn’t want to venture into the rest of the manor. The bed was comfortable and familiar. Besides, what if he was lurking out there. I didn’t want to see him.
“Come, let’s go to my room. Yes? And since we can’t go out and shop, how about some online shopping? Spending copious amounts of money will make us both feel better.”