Chapter 21 #2
“You may deny it,” Laurent continued, “but I’ve heard you in here at night when you pleasure yourself—“
“What?!” I screeched, mortified.
“You can resist it, if you wish. Addictions can be broken. It won’t kill you. But it will be…unpleasant.”
I gaped at him. “No.”
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
Bile stung the back of my throat. I was off the couch and across the room so quickly, I hadn’t realized I’d moved. “You turned me into a vampire?!”
He scoffed, remaining in place. “No, little flower. Absolutely not. To turn you, I’d have to kill you first, then feed my blood directly to your heart. The pop culture version is completely wrong.”
I stared at him, relief and terror battling for supremacy.
“You were so badly injured. Your delicate, frail body broken. So broken. So…so fucking ruined.” His fingers looked like claws, clutching the cushions. “I had to give you so much of myself that day. So much…”
“So, it’s like a drug addiction? I just have to fight it?” His throat bobbed, but he nodded. The way his jaw clenched told me he didn’t think it was a good idea. Well, fuck what he thought! I’d fight it—fight the hell out of it.
Except, my chest chose this moment to start itching. My fingers twitched, resisting the urge to scratch the skin over my heart. But the itch only spread. “What happens if I don’t fight it?”
He gaped at me before schooling his expression. The brief flash of vulnerability in his eyes was something I’d never seen from him. “You wish to drink from me?”
“That’s not—I didn’t—“
“It is your decision whether you will fight this or not. It will be difficult, the longer you abstain the worse it will feel. There will be pain. You will grow incensed. But eventually, the cravings will fade. If you choose to embrace it, my offer stands: my blood is yours for as long as you wish it.”
“But you just said you’ve never given blood to anyone else.”
“I have not—until you.”
Warmth pooled low in my core. My craving—now that I knew what it was—amplified. Somewhere in my memory, Laurent’s memories, I recalled the rich taste of blood.
No! I wouldn’t let myself consider it. This was ridiculous.
“And if I give in?” The words were out without my realizing it. “If I start drinking your blood? Will I become some sort of addicted junkie?”
“To share blood is a very intimate thing. Most vampires don’t do it because you must place your trust entirely in the other person.
I would be giving you a piece of myself that I have never given anyone.
Ever. You would have access to…everything.
” His fingers released the cushion. “But for you, it would make you stronger, more like us.”
Something in me came awake at that. Stronger? I desperately wanted to be stronger.
“Why would you agree to this? To give me your blood? You don’t expect me to believe it’s out of the goodness of your heart.”
He stood abruptly and paced toward the empty fireplace. “You are right. It is not. My reasons are selfish.” I took a step back when he whirled in my direction, pinning me with his silver gaze. “I was not entirely truthful with you when we discussed your amplifier blood.”
“Am I going to want to sit down for this?”
“Probably.” His mouth twitched, some of the seriousness in his expression softening.
I moved over to the couch and sank down. He remained standing as he said, “A vampire cannot resist amplifier blood. It’s why amplifiers die. One taste, and we cannot stop. Unless…”
He fell quiet, the seconds ticking by until my eyes widened. “Unless I have your blood inside me?”
“Precisely.” He knitted his fingers together behind his neck, tilting his head back toward the ceiling. “I did not tell you because it is dangerous. Only one other vampire has done it successfully, and they are dead. It wasn’t an option open to us until…”
“An option open to us?!” I hissed. “You think I’m… You think I’m going to share my blood with you?”
I couldn’t help the sneer that wrinkled my nose.
He remained motionless, except for the tiny drop of his shoulders.
I almost missed it. He was so good at hiding his rare emotions.
His voice turned cool and detached as he said, “I am not asking you to, Miss Shaw. I’m simply explaining the facts.
My blood is yours, whether you wish it or not.
I know what it is to crave. To want something more than life itself. ”
“I don’t want it,” I said, my voice hardening. “Your blood.”
“I know.” He gave a jerk of his head—
A piercing ring split the silence. He slipped his hand into his pocket, pulling his phone free only to frown down at it before lifting it to his ear. “Zola!”
A long silence and then—
“What?” His voice fractured. “All of them?”
A hesitance and then— “No. Stay there. I’ll be over as soon as I can.”
My lips parted with confusion and even…concern.
Laurent placed his phone in his pocket and looked up at me. “There has been… Never mind. Good night, Miss Shaw.”
I simply stared at the wall as he whooshed across the room. I felt his gaze on the back of my neck. Felt it when I shouldn’t have been able to. Then the door opened and closed and he was gone. A part of me felt like it had vanished with him.