16. Axel #2
Resting on the wall outside, my fists contract into tense balls. I’m too aggravated to summon a rational thought. Somewhere in this building, Gunnar’s interview continues. The list of misdeeds against him grows, yet I can’t turn back time to fix the choices our mother made that led us here.
He was completely alone. Terrified.
Starving and desperate.
From the moment Gunnar returned, I’ve been afraid of him. As a child, the stories Mother told about the boogeyman weren’t silly stories; they were very real. For me, that villain had a name. And he left bloodied footsteps behind when he tore out of our lives, a body in his wake.
All along, I was scared of a child. Sure, an angry, violent child with no knowledge of right or wrong. More like a rabid animal, allowed to roam free while fixated on getting revenge against those he deemed to have done him wrong. But he was a helpless boy nonetheless.
I hate myself for fearing him.
For forgetting him.
For erasing his entire existence.
With my eyes screwed shut to fight off a descending red haze, it’s only the patter of steps that alerts me to company. I should’ve known not to look for her. My girl will always find me. Just like the four of us seem to have a mental homing beacon for when she needs our help.
“Axel?”
Urgent hands engulf my cheeks, thumbs skirting under where my tear ducts boil with unshed rage. Fuck me, she smells so good. Like the relief of summer’s rain after a long, humid spell. I want to dive into her essence and let myself drown for a blissful second.
“Ax, what is it?”
“I let him down,” I croak.
“Who, baby?”
“Gunnar… I helped make him disappear. I failed him.”
“You did nothing of the sort, Ax.”
“I’m the reason he suffered! My own brother!”
Insistent fingers wrap around my forearms. Eyes flinging open, I’m tugged from the wall and frogmarched towards the first random door Ember spots.
Escaping into a large storeroom, lights hum to life, revealing shelves stacked with old mission reports and old, discarded files. Ember recaptures me in the middle of an aisle.
“You listened to the live testimony.” She pins me with a stern look.
“I had to know more about his story.”
“His story, Ax. Not yours.”
“The man blamed me for good reason.” I swallow past the discomfort in my throat. “I lied to erase him.”
“You did as you were told!”
“And he still shot me for it. On some level, Gunnar blames me too. Regardless of where his current allegiances lie.”
Wriggling free from a kind touch I don’t deserve, I turn and kick one of the metal shelves. Several boxes of case files rattle then fall, bursting where they hit the floor. Paperwork scatters in all directions.
“Fuck! I did this!”
“Axel, calm down. Let’s talk about it.”
“It’s no wonder he fucking hates me.” Venom coats every syllable I hurl. “I would too.”
“You didn’t know any better!” Ember tries to march after me.
“What good is that excuse now?”
“Enough!” She explodes in rising aggravation. “I’m not going to let you blame yourself for this. Gunnar might’ve suffered, but that doesn’t make you responsible.”
Whirling on the spot brings her furious glare within view. Yep, she’s mad at me now. Excellent. I might as well run up and down the corridor to see who else I can piss off around here.
“Would you blame me for what happened to Gracie or any of the other victims?” Ember throws up her hands.
“Hell no!”
“But you’re willing to blame yourself for this. You weren’t even there, Axel!”
“It’s different.” I glare at her.
“Don’t give me that bullshit. I watched what Gael and men like him did to their assets for years without lifting a fucking finger. But do you see me storming around here, blowing up?”
“That isn’t fair.”
“No, but neither is what you’re doing to yourself!”
I’m too absorbed by the fire ants tearing chunks out of my skin to think about what I’m doing. Seizing hold of Ember to slam her up against a shelf wrestles the argument back under my control. She can’t keep spewing all this forgiveness shit with my tongue in her mouth.
Trapped between my body and the metal unit, Ember has no choice but to take the abrupt collision. Her lips slide open, letting me barrel past every last boundary to shut her the hell up. I’m done listening to why none of this is my fault.
She captures a handful of my hair and yanks, causing me to grunt. The little minx. If she wants to play rough, I’m more than wound up enough. I bite into her lip then tug, sucking the pillowy swell between my teeth.
Before I can slip my tongue between her lips, her foot stamps down on mine. Gasping, the kiss breaks as I stumble back, eviscerated under the sheer force of her glower.
“You’re an asshole.” She stabs me in the chest with a finger.
There’s no time to snap back before her tight curves smash into me. I’m snared by a rough, aggressive kiss that communicates all our overflowing frustration. Weeks of pain, upheaval and setbacks. Disappointments and new iterations of terror.
It’s strangling us both.
Grabbing hold of her waistband, I shove my hand past stretchy Lycra and panties to attack her heat.
She’s molten between the legs. Anger turns her on like nothing else.
I remember the first time I took her to my office and we fought.
Dammit, she looked like an avenging demon intent on skinning me alive.
I’m rough and careless while shoving a finger deep into her cunt. She moans into my mouth, but I’m unclear if it’s from shock or pleasure. The whistling pressure cooker ticking towards a meltdown inside me doesn’t care.
Ember responds by assaulting my belt buckle. At least she’s feeling just as impatient. I let her tug the metal teeth free and roll my ripped jeans down while snaking into her core, ensuring she’s prepared for a thorough railing.
“Are you healed enough for this?” Her lips move over mine.
Rearing back, I pepper kisses along her jawline. “Bend over, and I’ll show you how ready I am.”
“You sound confident.”
“Turn around. I’m going to take you fast and rough.”
With my hand retreated, she’s free to do as ordered. I’m impressed by her obedience. I know the others are more dominant with her. Maybe I should muscle in on the action to learn a thing or two.
Stripping her ass bare exposes luscious flesh for me to slap hard. I love how her back arches, bending her at a wonderful, exposing angle. With fabric around her ankles and a grip on the metal shelving, I have her all trussed up.
“Did you get your birth control sorted?”
“Yes.” Her sexy mewl has my cock twitching.
“Good. I want to feel this soaked pussy wrapped around me.”
Normally, I’d take my time exploring every delectable curve. It’s been so long since I last tasted her. Right now, I don’t have the capacity to be tender. Not with the need for release screaming through every functioning brain cell.
Pulling my dick free, I’m prone and ready. Ember shivers when I trail the head over her ass and down to the cavern between her thighs. Slick warmth greets me, spilling from her inviting pussy lips.
“Hold tight.”
One feverish advance, and I’ve pushed inside her to the hilt. Goddamn, her velvety depths are tighter than I’ve dreamt since we last fucked. We both cry out in unison at the impact.